This is an advice board. Think of it like the /adv/advice board on 4chan. Ask for whatever advice want, as long as it's within the global rules.

i can't find them anymore, the ones that go step by step about how to commit suicide, does anyone know the links to them? please i am desperate.

Back when I was in ninth grade I had a crush on this girl she looked cute but I didn't realise it at the time and I kept it at the back of my mind and kept it low till tenth grade After which I couldn't control myself and had to keep looking at her it got so bad that I was staring and I thought I was harassing her so I completely avoided her(I didn't realise that it was my ocd at the time) and obviously she noticed me and looked interested in having a relationship with me so she tried to make some moves like sitting with me and touching hands I then through my friends told her that she was going too fast and she did slow down aftersome time of talking I got comfortable with her and I had to ask her what I was getting out of my relationship with her i was interested in spending time with her and also having sex with her so I asked her this and then she told me she was not interested in having sex but she wanted to spend some time with me which was OK with me I tell her about what inspires me and what I think is cool and expose her to things which she didn't know before and she was happy and wanted to make me happy as well and then she tells that she still didn't want to have sex so I assumed she was saving it for someone else but then after sometime she was ready to have sex with me I have no clue as to why (but I saved it for a better day when I get out if my ocd) Fast forward one year and I realised she hacked my Instagram account through one of those auto follower apps which I had used by not knowing the consequences of it I just uninstalled the app and didn't think much of it and just that she was curious to know me it was intrusive but I tolerated it I kept talking about music ,movies,anime ,tvshows,games ,pets ,books,daily life and stuff that I did and liked doing and what my habits and lifestyle shopping and eventually it came to sex she wasn't particularly interested in it so I again just ignored it at this time I had told her that i knew some good things and didn't want to tell her so then at the same week I lost my phone and I was poor and I got shouted at being how careless I was she was really popular and the word got around and pretty much the entire grade got to know about me and her, my friends and even some family she could influence my friends to do things like spend time with me and ignore me and she used to never leave me alone like that which I was OK with she always insisted that I start the stuff which would go on But later I realised that she was the one who had stolen my phone earlier and used it to check the things I didn't want her to know about I luckily wiped the phone before hand but she did steal my phone and the sim along with it, it took some time for me to disable it and get a new phone I told her that I wouldn't tolerate it and asked for my phone back she simply ignored it and said it was nothing and wouldn't give the phone back Then fast forward after covid I had been diagnosed with ocd which was bad and ruining my daily life and I was struggling to make it manageable for myself by taking medicines and receiving therapy

>be me >33yo >finishing International Relations degree with a fucking great CGPA >local job market is shit, so start applying for opportunities in other, better states >little to no experience at my age, so hardly ever get an interview >LinkedIn profile and writing skills are top notch, so I got an interview for a great opportunity last Tuesday >freaking out bc no response so far >Born, raised, and living in an emerging country with a large but fledgling economy >in a chaotic metropolis with high unemployment rates and typically low wages — a wageslaving farm >inherited EU Citizenship from immigrant parents, but really don't wanna live in a cold climate among fucking hapless, cold, rude people >plus, I love my natal nation and have political aspirations here >little financial and investment knowledge >health issues and shitty remuneration forbid manual labour >smart, but hate deep research >rare blend of social aspieness and extraverted, curious, inquisitive personality makes me socially bold