First things first: Youmu's species is in an unstable position between life and death, so she is only allowed to live in the Netherworld.
If she were to spend too much time in the world of the living, she would become a living being. However, the Yama threatened to sent her to Hell if that were to happen.
I have a feeling that her transformation into a human being would have some very bad side effects like being overwhelmed by sinfulness.
In that sense, our situation is very different because she would, more or less, be a human being, but I'm afraid of the change inside her.
If we assume that she would enter our world as is without any consequences, Youmu's situation would be similar to Flandre's.
The conflict between humans and youkai is obviously one of the dominant themes of Touhou.
Gensokyo is a sanctuary for youkai and human village is a sanctuary for humans inside Gensokyo.
Humans and youkai are natural enemies, so we can't expect much peaceful coexistence.
The only reason the human village isn't overrun and massacred by youkai is that the village has some powerful protectors.
Things would be much worse in the real world, where humans have the means to fight back and eradicate most youkai.
But even the human village warily tolerates some friendly youkai including my waifu and incident resolvers are kind of like superheros already.
I think at least in an idealized version of our world, things could work out.
Youmu is a diligent girl, so I feel like work wouldn't be much of a problem as long as it is something she enjoys.
She could just continue as a gardener and sword instructor or just be a perfect housewife.
>I know that our society will be judging her relationship with me as she is a loli
I could see that being a problem with Youmu, too. It's kind of even worse, considering Youmu's age is still unconfirmed.
Nothing would make me happier than being with my waifu, but I feel like it would come at a price and wouldn't want her to sacrifice her carefree life for me.
It's the kind of thing I like to fantasize about in an idealized setting but not so much in a realistic one.