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FTDDTOT i'm fucking tired edition Robot 05/04/2020 (Mon) 15:56:59 No. 10
this has to end at some point
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was reading "Bow and the Club" since i never actually finished it, i forgot this Gem was a thing, truly Evola was one hell of a Man
>don't take meds >stupid voices saying stupid shit won't stop annoying me >take meds >some voice saying "Church of Satan" every once in a while pops out
>>1426 Kill yourself attention whore.
>>1429 Fuck off.
>>1430 Overdose on your jew pill and die already, attention whore.
>>1426 Meds don't actually help the voices are fucking with you
>>1434 Oh it definitely helps, the former is just loud, obnoxious and gets in the middle of stuff in the worst moment, the second one is kind of okay and just appears from time to time
>>1431 You sure showed him retard.
I LOVE DRUGS
>>1446 Again kill yourself or shut your retarded mouth attention whore.
>>1426 How does the process for being diagnosed for such meds even go? Do they lock you in a loony bin for a few days and watch what you do?
>>1449 The first reaction is to give you medication.
>>1449 Just go to a psychiatrist and tell him your issues, he'll surely find a pill for your issue. Mine is Risperidone
>>1451 If you were to go to me, I'd surely prescribe you a bullet to the head.
Do you guys ever lose your sense of time? I recently had to go without my pc for a week or two, and I currently cant remember what it felt like to be on my pc all day. As in it felt like i was away from a pc for months or years. Its strange, but i guess its part and parcel for having a burnt out memory
>>1454 I'd expect as much from going without the computer for prolonged periods of time.
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>>1454 not in the exact way you described but when im left Alone on my own i get Dissasociated from the External World in the most Extreme way, not only do i kinda forget the Pass of time being a thing but i withdraw into my "Inner World" sort of speak, the few times i've been left alone for Prolonged spaces of time have ingrained me with even More hatred of Normgroids and Modern Life in general because these fucking Molochs force me to go outside myself and have to bother with their eternally meaningless bullshit
>>1457 I don't have that big of an imagination, sometimes i can daydream, but sometimes I can just stare at a wall or the floor to pass the time.
>>1456 I can see that. Pc activities dont give a natural sense of time. One day irl my feel like multiple days in pc land
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>>1458 i didn't mean it as in going to literal Dreamworld, more along the lines of Encloistering within myself, i spend a lot of time Contemplating and thinking about things And About Taihou of course and also working on my little autistic Projects, to try and make this more clear, if i did what you said and "Stared at a Wall" i would start thinking about shit and have a long winded inner monologe (Completely forgetting about the wall) in less than 10 Seconds, so whenever i am left Alone without interference this state becomes Permanent, thus i live Withdrawn within my own Thoughts completely ignoring anything External beyond the few things i enjoy doing, like Playing Vidya. Fucking around with Boardjames or just Reading
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>>1452 chillax bro
>>1454 That's pretty normal if you stop using the computer after being very used to the torrent of information it can put out. It's perhaps a nice reminder how much time you have in a day and what can be done with it. >>1463 I am very prone to daydreaming too, sometimes I worry that I get too carried away to work on improving the real living conditions.
>>1450 >>1451 I mean how do you determine that someone isn't just making shit up about voices? Do they even go that far before giving you legal meth or whatever the fuck your pills are?
>>1454 I think radical change ups in your life have that effect, if you use your computer 24/7 I could see it fucking with your head. Ever since my dad died last November my perception of time has been bizarre. Like it simultaneously seems slow, but also passes by way too fast for comfort and I don't know what to do to stop this feeling.
>>1463 That room looks comfy; most of the exterior world is gay as fuck.
>try to watch some "wholesome" youtube videos >bombarded with nigger lover propaganda English isn't my native language and I only watch cute animal videos. Regret it every time, should have just stick to video game and anime.
>>1475 I just watch videos from RSS feeds for channels I already know about through invidious instances. No cookies and no (((recommendations))) for me, just consume the content I know I want then move on. Kind of sucks that channel discoverability is very difficult without relying on jewtubes algorithms, but last I heard they raped their algorithms so they're completely fucking useless now anyways compared to how amazing they were back before american politics took over the entire world in 2016. Would be nice to build up a sizeable catalog of tolerable jewtube channels ITT for this reason >>29
>corona hoax hits >have watched everyone I'm forced to interact with slowly (in some cases extremely quickly) unravel >a couple have turned to hardcore drugs and alcoholism >people ask me how I haven't gone insane >practically begging me for an answer in some cases >struggle to find a response that isn't just "I don't give a fuck about social isolation" because some of these niggers will report me to the feds as a psychopath if I admit it It's very strange going from being considered a loser outcast retard to some kind of guru with strong mental fortitude simply because normalfags can't cope with not going to the club or not having niggerball to gawk at. I was hoping to have saved enough to move to the countryside before something like this happened but now I might wind up stuck with these creatures regardless.
>>1477 Just tell them you have a lot of discord friends. They'll buy it.
>>1477 They have internet right? I don't get how you can get so bored to resort to drugs. And to think that i prefer to live like this, i can't believe it.
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>Month in paradise ends >my "mother" comes back from her vacations >the Anthopomorphic pile of Shit spends 30+ minutes "cleaning" my room (displacing things and making everything smell like fucking bleach, i guess the same way pigs wallow in mud, whores wallow in bleach) >tfw when i could have grabbed her from behind and just strangled her to death ending my Pain >tfw i could just pack my things and try my luck living a Hobo but im too much of a pussy and losing comunications with this place sounds horrible i know for a fact one day i will snap and fucking off her, and then i will have no choice but to go Hobo anyways
>>1529 My mother cleaning my room upsets me as well, but it sounds like she at least means well. Killing the only woman willing to take care of you sounds like a counter-productive action. It's best to make friends with the people you're forced to share a roof with the best you can.
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>>1530 >but it sounds like she at least means well. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA oh you absolute nigger, time for some storytime and telling you what things my "mother" has done ill start with the most recent one, one of the Business associates of my Step-dad, the guy had a Office job for both my Step-dad's son (my step-brother i guess) and me, they needed to set up 2 Routers with HDD's and UPS's and all, my mother suggested to them they should use MY room, so they split half of my room into "my room" and "the office", the whore had the nerve to say that it still was my room despite the fact that i had to take my shit away nowadays i have 2 Fucking Routers in my room taking up my space, not only that but whenever a Power outage happens both UPS's start beeping like crazy, they later reconverted the Office to a Warehouse, imagine being woken up and having your room intruded by Niggers dropping and taking boxes of "God Knows What" FROM YOUR OWN FUCKING ROOM, nevermind the fact that the Whore moved me from my hometown separating me from the Rest of my Family, whenever i want to visit anyone at all i have to take 2-3 Buses and Spend more than 10 Bucks on just the trip, she "promised" that she would take me anywhere i needed, she didn't comply with her part of the deal, and the few time she did she would unironically spy on me, literally parking her Car on the corner of the street to see if i did what i said i was going to do, or calling whatever family member or friend i was going to visit at my backs to check if i really was going to do what i said i was going to do, because i guess that's what good mothers do, be 100000% paranoid all the time and intrude in the Privacy and Intimacy of their own sons, the only reason why she "cares" about me its because im the only Blood Related relative she has, she kicked my Brother out of the house, Divorced my Dad and currently holds a Feud with the rest of my Family, my Family knows how much of a Driven whore she is but so far no one has done Anything to help me at all beyond telling me to be patient, i've been patient for more than 5 years having to deal with this Histrionic mass of inbred Hormones that thinks that caring about someone is Spying on him, Intruding into his life and room every 30 Minutes and saying "Im your Mother" every time i face her about anything at all, she is a De Facto psychopath with more than 3 attempts at Suicide before she met my current Step-dad, and i hope to hell she has a 4th and finally pulls it, i could spend thousands of Hours telling you Stories on how much of a Whore she is, but this place isn't my Personal diary, unless anons are really interested in me venting about my "mother" i don't think i need to provide more proof for how much of a Whore she is
>>1531 Theres no need to kill her anon.
>>1362 No I'm pretty sure he's Spanish.
>>1224 Got a bit poetically waxy there didn't ya, but yeah, wasn't that learning process fun? Those times where they caught you in a moment of weakness and you actually tried to answer earnestly? The one that used to make me want to absolutely go off was when they'd tell you someone out there has it worse. Like hey, take solace in the fact that you're not literally the most unfortunate person on earth. Yeah great, sure am glad you went out of your way to ask me my business just so you could hit me with that game-changer. According to those useless prying fucks you shouldn't compare yourself to others if those others have something you don't, but if you have something someone else doesn't and are feeling like shit for some completely unrelated reason, well compare yourself to them! Fuck them and fuck your hypocritical platitudes, I sit here wishing I could have said. >>1226 I also wish I could learn this power. My issues with maintaining eye contact and subdued, unsteady way of speaking make me doubt I could pull it off. I wouldn't be able to give the steady, curt delivery required. I'm like you in that I don't get asked that particular stuff anymore but I know I'll be in a position in the future where I'll be sorry I can't speak like that.


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