>>36300 Here I will provide you my own theory. Fetishes, like ABDL, is a product of faulty targeting that occurs prior to puberty. So looking at ABDL, for some reason you as an individual developed a fixation on ABDL things (diapers, babying, being taken care of, etc.) prior to you reaching puberty, then upon reaching puberty hormonal release occurs and the target of an individual's sexual preferences and fetishes are formed. Because the target of fixation chosen were babyish things you end up an ABDL. Now in regards to what causes this fixation, from what I've seen it can be a number of things, maybe a long running event like bedwetting, maybe a traumatic event involving your parents, maybe just a sudden memorable incident involving diapers or diaper references during your formative years. Another thing that can cause this targeting may not be a direct event leading to fixation but just a relative attachment to a set period in one's childhood. What I mean is, say you had an individual that was born and was heavily loved and cared for as a child, toddler, etc and forms a positive association with that period. Then as they reach the following milestones post infancy/todderhood it either reflects negatively, such as with abuse, or neutrally, where the same stimulus that existed in early childhood vanishes during adolescence not due to abuse or neglect, but just not as positive or as stimulating as infancy/toddler years, causing an attachment to that early period in one's live. Upon puberty these scenarios then leads that individual to be cemented as an ABDL. tl;dr: Your being an ABDL was due to nonsexual interest in babyish themes/diapers that could have happened for intentional or mundane reasons, that then became cemented permanently into a sexual attraction into those same ABDL themes at puberty.

I've heard a theory that certain attractions can be caused unintended and even unnoticed sexual arousal at young ages. For example, diapers are warm, soft and hug the genitals, diaper changes involve direct genital contact. It's entirely possible that at a young age one can experience genital arousal from something related to diapers before they could consciously register what that meant.

In my case, i remember having an spontaneus erection when i was a child, watching the Fairy God Parents episode where timmy is turned into a baby. I also remember liking to play the baby at 4 year old when playing house, to the point where i would play to be a baby with my pikachu plush, simulating like if it was changing my diaper. At 5-6 and even further i had problems going to the bathroom when having fun. I was too oblivious and stayed for too long, so i ended up peeing mysef in those scenarios. I remember as a punishment, being literally put into diapers by my parents because i kept doing that. I just wore them for 5 minutes before my mother showed mercy and allowed me to get out of them. But i spent like 20 minutes literally struggling to not be put into them. Then at 5-6 also, i remember having another erection while playing the last level of the "shrek 2" videogame. In that level you are turned into an animal when being hit by the fairygodmother, i thinked to myself that i was turned into a baby. Then at 13 when i started having wet dreams, with almost 0 sex knowledge, i dreamt about being put in diapers. Some time later i tryed to replicate what i felt with those dreams by putting a plastic bag in my underwear, and thought about the dream. Some time later i was just searching on the internet for "Girls in diapers" and well... im here. I dont dislike having this fetish, but im still pretty damn scared of what will happen when, if ever, get a partner...

>>36300 My parents used an old pullups box for storage and I would see it often (it was in a closest that was frequently used). Everytime I saw it I would wonder what it was like to wear diapers and eventually It became wondering what it was like to shit/piss myself, though the diaper part was the main thing.

Around 5 or 6, I was obsessed with putting on my old baby diapers stored in an old closet. When the closet was thrown away I was TORN about it because I never build up the courage to try them on. Later on, may be around 9 or 10 years old, I watched some cartoons involving being treated like a baby and it became my obsession, never stopped since, its been more than 40 years.

I wet the bed until 5 and wore diapers every night. I have one distinct memory around this time or perhaps even shortly after of my grandma buying diapers in the context of rewarding me for something. Maybe I let it out that I liked diapers. From 6-12 I had limited access to diapers either from my cousin who was late on potty training or neighbors who my older sister would babysit and I would sometimes join her. 12-18 I had no access at all. When I got my drivers license I drove to the pharmacy the next town over but was too scared to leave the parking lot. It wasn't until I was 18 (2007) that I realized you could buy diapers over the internet. I was sexually repressed as a teenager. The moment the diaper touched my dick was the first time I ever came.

>>36304 How to cure that permanent attraction? Surely there must be a way

>>36316 Unless they're also into this shit, don't bother. You'll either end up telling them at some point shooing them away andand labeling you a creep; or you keep it bottled inside you and proceed to be unfulfilled and miserable all your life. Fetishes are a curse

>>36300 For me, I was both autistic and smacked around by my mother growing up. Rather than potty training me, she'd hit me until I couldn't scream anymore, then make me wash my shitty underwear out in the toilet. I recall asking to wear diapers simply because if I wore them, she wouldn't have an excuse to hit me. I got so terrified that I actually lost the ability to shit on command when a deuce is loaded in the chamber. Eventually, I got old enough to hit her back, so she stopped hitting me. I then spent hours on the toilet daily to reacquire the ability to shit on command and therefor finally potty training myself. I suppressed all memories about my childhood abuse, so I actually didn't know I was ABDL until I was in my 20s and engaged to be married. My nephew was about 8 and he pissed himself at a family dinner. I helped him out and got him sorted without anyone else noticing. On the drive home, I thought about that and all the repressed memories came flooding back as well as learning I had a intimate interest with diapers I told my fiancee about it and she was supportive, but it wasn't her kink. We slowly drifted apart and then broke up after 8 years together.

>>36323 that sounds a little bit too bleak anon, I'd rather believe that although fetishes can be a curse, there are kind, supportive and sweet people out there who would accept that other anon despite being into abdl >>36324 I am sorry that happened to you anon, it honestly sounds like a terrible childhood experience to go through, I hope you have managed to heal a little bit with the years, I have noticed that therapy helped me a bit but most of the healing was me finding things that made me happy and surrounding myself with friends so I dont rely so much on the ABDL side for comfort and sexual release when feeling down.

when i was 2 years old, i was potty trained but there were still pullups in the house. one time with a neighborhood friend, i took all of the pullups and put them on at once. my parents took a photo of me with 10+ pullups down my legs, saying i looked like a centipede. i remember this being a fun activity, without a specific interest in the pullups, just innocently doing something funny as a kid (what would happen if i put ALL of these on at once?) when i was 3 years old, i went to a school that had a daycare class for babies, and a preschool class for 3-5 year olds. one day, we had to meet in the daycare classroom, and this was the first time i remember seeing diapers and being mesmerized by them. there was a changing table in the corner of the room, and i just kept staring at it and wanting to play with the diapers on the shelves underneath it. i was bold enough to just straight up ask my mother to buy me diapers again. she did, and i think in hindsight it was because she figured it was a phase and i'd grow out of it. i played with them for a few weeks, layering them, crawling around in them, even wetting them, but eventually i felt embarrassed and decided to throw them away because i needed to "grow up". i didn't think about diapers in that way again until i was 8 or 9 years old. once puberty started, my attraction to diapers re-emerged. i googled things on the family computer, found DPF, and by 11 or 12 years old i was masturbating exclusively to pictures of women in diapers. if there was any possibility of NOT having this fetish, i think that was the juncture where it ended. during my teenage years, i managed to present a somewhat normal persona to my peers. i got girls to date me, i had sex at 17, and in college i even got a girl to do diaper stuff with me. but i've never been able to cum without thinking about diapers, i've never been interested in vanilla sex itself [when i was a teenager i was interested in it as a status symbol, but the actually act ended up not being very enjoyable because i had to work extremely hard mentally to climax since diapers weren't involved], and i've consumed ABDL content and pornography for basically 20 years straight at this point. i would say the diaper lover side of it came first and is the essential, immutable aspect of my sexuality. the adult baby side was introduced via the internet and the community, and is something i can take or leave at various points.

From the ages of roughly 5 until 7 for reasons I need care after being in hospital from some time No body autonomy. Treated like a child. Having to ask for bedpans and toilet breaks; being terribly constipating and being given drinks or suppositories or occasionally an enema. So yeah; no idea where my fixation on diaper dependence and being humiliated by potty things came from. ABDL came later.

>>36323 uhh no, definitely tell your partner about a fetish if it's already a big part of your life. like not on the first date or anything but before you move in together. the more involved you become with each other the worse the fallout could potentially be if you keep it bottled up and let it boil over

i had an interest in diapers as far back as i can remember, which i believe stems from abuse i witnessed and suffered at a daycare, some of which involved the "caretakers" diapering a kid who had an accident and putting them on display in front of the other kids who were told to laugh at them (we were all 4-5 so just past the expected potty training age). this led me to ask about and show interest in diapers for a couple years after that, i believe. it also potentially had something to do with an encopresis problem i had from then until i was about 11. school was hell and my parents, though i love them to death, got really frustrated with me and probably didn't handle it in the most sensitive way. this problem stopped just in time for puberty to be well underway and for me to have unrestricted access to the internet, so voila, diaper fetish.

>>36300 The theory on fetishes is that they are mapped out before you sexually develop, so it's actually very logical that diapers end up becoming that object for some people. >>36307 I remember nap time at day care or preschool or whatever, we would nap on those thin fold out mats and I'd lay prone on the mat and hump my diaper. I wasn't the only one either, I remember making direct eye contact with another kid doing the same thing. Apparently this is somewhat common. I'm not sure where along the line this developed into a full blown obsession, but potty training and being "too old for diapers" probably fostered my idealization of "needing diapers". There was a disparity in the time from when my dad and step mom tried to start potty training me and when my mom did, so I would come home from a weekend of miserable potty training and my mom would put me right back into diapers. The potty training was miserable *because* I already had an attachment to diapers and knew I'd be losing them forever. I am also a people pleaser by nature unfortunately. After I was fully trained though I did try wetting my bed etc, but with no relief. The obsession manifested as a strong euphoria whenever diapers were around, commercials of course, but even just watching a babyish TV show. I tried making a diaper out of tissues and grocery bags when I was 6. Around 8 I was determined to lose control and when I was alone just started wetting my pants whenever I had to go, hoping to work up courage to do it even around people, but never got there. The euphoria just morphed into arousal over time. I think I was locked into this fetish either before potty training or during it.

>>36300 When I was around 3-5 years old I would sneak leftover diapers on and wear them out. The feeling was comforting and I liked to pee in them. In highschool/college I got into watersports and omorashi porn. Then in college I had a job for a guy that made a joke once in front of his hot girlfriend (my coworker) that I probably jerked it to "some fucked up shit like diapers" since I was the quiet techie guy. I think this embarrassment and seeing her face look disgusted by the idea really turned me onto it. I started seeing diaper threads on /b/ and then I got hooked. Diaper porn is the only thing that really gets me off now, and I picked up some abdl diapers in Japan with my wife recently.

>>36300 I grew up in a small town and I always loved diapers, I would steal my brother's and wear them and sometimes piss in them, I had this early interest between the ages of 9-12 and my first boner was in a diaper, I have a memory of my diaper peeking from my jeans and me panicking someone would find out at school, when I didn't have diapers I would try to replicate the feeling with towels, plastic bags and other materials but it didn't feel the same, I would even ask my female neighbor for some and she'll be weirded out, I also remember feeling really strange when seeing diapers on TV, I forgot about it for years but then somewhere around 2 years ago I tried to look for diaper stuff out of curiosity and I immediately got an erection, I didn't know what to think but I masturbated and got the best climax ever, now I'm here, lurking in this backdoor alleyway of a site looking for more, can't say I'm proud of it, but can't say I don't enjoy it either. >>36316 "some time later i tried to replicate what i felt with those dreams by putting a plastic bag in my underwear" I did the same

>>36322 Nope. You are stuck like this forever.

I've posted this before, but I've wanted to wear diapers for as long as I can remember. Two of my earliest memories are of being at the house of a friend who wasn't potty trained yet and being interested in a diaper I saw in the bathroom trashcan. The other is when i was at home, I continued to wear these pullups as underwear around the house even after I was potty trained until they eventually disappeared. This would have been around when I was 3 years old, so it has been a lifelong desire of mine. When I was older, I would check out kids books about babies from the library and make up stories with my brother that always involved me being turned into a baby. I wet my bed on purpose for a week when I was four in hopes to get diapers, but I got scared and stopped before I got to that point. One incident that I have forgotten about until now occurred when I was in 3rd grade, and I wonder if it's relevant to this turning into a fetish. A 2nd grader peed her pants in PE one day, and then the next week when I saw her again, I could have sworn I saw the waistband of a diaper above her pants. I already had the fantasy of being put back in diapers, but then I saw a real kid beyond diaper age wearing one after having an accident. Since I only just remembered it, I doubt it's relevant, but anyways, I eventually got curious and looked up "I like to wear diapers" or something when I was 11 or 12 and I knew right away that's what I like. To me, I think it has always been a fetish of mine and it just advanced to the next level when I hit puberty.

>>36329 Tried therapy. Bad therapist made things worse for a while. I get by with an extreme addiction to "It is what it is."

>>36300 I feel like my story is a bit different to most people's here. When I was around 6-7, one of my friends pooped herself while we were at the swimming pool in her swimsuit. One thing I remember is that one of her classmates went and told the teacher and said that "all the poo went up her back". For some reason that really interested me. And that evening I pooped myself on purpose in the bathroom, and I must have enjoyed it. And so I became a habitual party-pooper, doing it quite often, lining my underwear with toilet paper. While doing this, I always wished I could just poop myself and just stay in it all day, and that's when diapers peaked my interest. Now my favourite thing is staying in a messy diaper as long as possible, just enjoying my poop.

I don't really know for certain how it started with me, apparently my mom used cloth diapers and I must have potty trained quick because I remember literally none of it, and as I got older I fell in love with disposables instead, especially the plastic backed ones. Earliest memory I have of anything diaper related was we had a half a box of huggies around (probably in case of bed wetting or emergency outings) that I offered to some family friends that had come over because they had a baby and I figured we wouldn't need them anymore. No idea how old I was then, young enough to have diapers around the house, old enough to remember it but not yet have a burgeoning fetish. The closest idea I can think of as how it all started is one time way back in daycare, which would have to be during some of.my earliest memories. I must have been around 4 or 5, going to the toilet normally where they had one of those giant metal wall spanning urinals and another kid comes up beside me to use it, and in the middle of this happening one of the daycare workers comes by and starts telling him off. When I look over I see he's got his pants down and wearing a diaper but tugged it down so he can use the urinal and she's saying something to the effect of he shouldn't be doing that, I can't remember anything specific, but that moment's stuck with me through the years. I have to assume it was a combination of seeing a kid my age still in diapers and being told off for using the toilet that set a weird connection in my brain that maybe diapers are good and not just for babies after all. For as long as I can remember otherwise I've been absolutely obsessed with diapers with nothing else resembling an inciting incident. I never saw friends in them, never has any issues with bed wetting, no younger siblings to get influenced by and yet I still would up watching the tv commercials with rapt attention, looking at them in shopping catalogues or especially at the supermarket (god I miss the days when diapers would take up an entire aisle on their own), I would deliberately watch movies with babies in if I thought they'd be shown in diapers at any point. Then as I got to about 10 or 11 a friend showed me just how far the internet spanned and I got to googling and found all kinds of sites for people like me. Eventually I reached puberty and what was just an obsession turned into a sexual fetish, and has never been anything less since.

Ive shared my story a couple times already in this board so I wont rehash it again. I would like to ponder some interesting points though. I feel like I have an opposite experience to some in regards to humiliation and the resulting fantasies. I see that a lot of people like the humiliating or degrading aspect of diapers and so many works of fiction represent that. Young boy chara ters forced into diapers or caught trying them, made to be exposed and humiliated. My formative experiences were accidents that didn't involve diapers. They were also crazy humiliating to me and I guess I desired diapers as a means to prevent further humiliation. When i was little I never explicitly thought about he humiliation that being diapered would bring, I legitimately wanted the protection of not peeing all over my best friends floor. By seeking diapers I wasn't wanting to regress, I wanted them to prevent accidents that would make me feel immature. I wanted to be seen as intelligent and mature and was very sensitive about that even at 3 years old. Diapers were just a pragmatic response to the problem. Only recently did I find out that its not normal to have such vivid memories from that age. My therapist said that most people don't have memories earlier than 5. As an adult I definitely can appreciate the desire to regress. I feel like my extreme self awareness stole my childhood and being able to just let go and be young again is attractive. But my fantasies are never humiliating, never degrading, no public exposure, no mean caretakers, etc... My fantasies are all involving mutually interested people, when cargivers are involved their love is unconditional and they would never make anyone uncomfortable for their own pleasure. In sexual scenarios I imagine a caregiver showering me with praise and love, sometimes in a slightly belittling way like "your such a good boy". The biggest fantasy I have doesn't even include caregivers just 2 boys, or 2 girls innocently experimenting with diapers and sort of accidentally-on-purpose getting sexual. Sorry for rambling. I just think its interesting that for so many people humiliation is a feeling that diapers help thethem recreate, when I feel the exact opposite.

I was always into watersports. Early on just peeing myself a little would be enough for me to come. Stuff changed when during a recess in high school (~14 year old?), one of my female colleagues which I had secretly a crush on made an offhand remark that she saw kids wearing swimming diapers in a public pool, and how convenient would it be to be able to wear them too. My fucking Asperger ass didn't fucking add 2 to 2 at that moment and just said it was an interesting idea, while others in our small group dismissed that idea as batshit crazy. Later that week, I ferociously masturbated to the same idea. Of course, I have never hit on her because I was a below average weeb and she was high grade student.

>>36304 >Your being an ABDL was due to nonsexual interest in babyish themes/diapers that could have happened for intentional or mundane reasons, that then became cemented permanently into a sexual attraction into those same ABDL themes at puberty. Well, sounds quite legit. My diaper fixation surely happened prior to puberty, always considered diapers as something at least interesting, or even... nostalgic.

The earliest I recall thinking about it is 9. I remember really liking one of the Super Underpants books as a kid for having diapers in it and refencing their use. At the time it tickled my brain in a way I liked, but didn't understand yet. When I was 5ish I recall playing house with some girls once and having to be the baby. I had to pretend to wear a diaper and be "changed." I also blame Fairy Odd Parents for both this and my crossdressing kink. I remember really liking when pic bellow would happen an not understanding why till years later.

I felt very insecure as a child, like no one wanted me, which was probably true. Dreamed of being a baby where people took care of me because I was cute - so, wanted to wear diapers, etc. Add to that a couple of very traumatic toilet incidents and I was obsessed with diapers by five years old. At ten years old I had my first orgasm while trying to force myself to pee in a diaper with an erection. it was mind blowing and immediately cemented this fetish. Physically, diapers just turn me on, but mentally they also make me feel safe and relaxed. it's a hell of a thing.

>>36409 >but mentally they also make me feel safe and relaxed. it's a hell of a thing. Basically same here. Especially after over 4 years of wearing 24/7, diapers are something like 80% comfort and 20% fetish.

My start as simply cause of my other kinks I love big Inflatable,balloon, inflation, giantess etc and i think i saw a cartoon where a diaper got big and well diapers can be the best inflation when you pee,poop or have a nice shower with diaper on

Here's a fucking hilarious origin story for you. Yes it's true. >Be me >12 >Shy social outcast but intelligent type kid >This is around 2014/2015 so a crossover point between kinda edgy new atheist youtube and early alt right/right wing dissident shit coming into play >Somehow already into political tube at 12 >There's this channel with a floating pixel art brain covered in like blueish flames, and he did commentary videos >One of his videos is quite risque >This is 2014 youtube after all, different world >This video is him gleefully mocking and laughing at... diaper porn videos that had been uploaded to youtube. >Videos have girls strapped into diapers, bondaged and then messing moaning >boner.jpg >This was making me feel... things I never felt before >Start watching more videos, out of curiosity more than anything >Start to go more and more down the rabbit hole, find out what abdl is >End up on 8chan of all places and orgasm for the first time to diaper porn of mei from overwatch Thank you alt right for giving me this fucked fucked up fetish. I tried to find that channel years later but looked like it got deleted. I imagine some of u remember it. What a fucking world.

> Can you pinpoint when, more or less, you started being interested in diapers? And do you see any reasons for this? This implies I went from potty trained to growing an interest in diapers. I started life in diapers and was expected to stop using them not long after despite preferring them. Normie adults and parents can't comprehend that being a preference. Potty training just becomes a form of social masking, doing what is considered "normal", but I would find it more accurate to say I never developed an interest in toilets but had to adapt to be normal.

>>36443 Oh man I remember that youtuber. I don't remember his name but he was pretty funny and did tons of videos playing social justice video games. He actually got hacked by the guys that were producing Candid. He warned it was a mechanism for producing anti-altright algorithms (which it was) and was under constant cyber attacks after that. Eventually they got his email and YouTube access and deleted his channel.

>>36443 Harmful Opinions! Took forever to remember it. They were great. You can find archive channels.

I feel like my experience might be slightly unusual so I am going to post it here. As a child I remember on one occasion I had a sort of dare with another kid at nursery where I would wet myself. I did a very small amount. There was also one occasion I remember where I used a potty in the bathroom even though I didn't need to anymore. Both of those were around the age of 4. Then, skip forward 5 years there was one time where I stole my younger sister's pullup (drynites) and used it for some reason. Other than that, there is nothing I can recall right up until I was 18. I went through the entirety of puberty, first kiss, sex, long term girlfriend and categorically had no thoughts about diapers, ABDL or any of it. Then one day, somewhere around the time of my 19th birthday, I came across an ABDL thread on 4chan and my heart felt like it leapt out of its chest. I immediately and calmly thought, "I have this fetish". Within a few days I had bought my first pullups and never stopped since then (over 10 years now). What is crazy to me is that I had all that time as a fully sexual person where it wasn't a thing until I saw something online. If I had never seen that or something like it, I honestly don't think I ever would have realised I was a DL.

Anyone else experience the sensation of furniture shrinking and expanding or growing when they were younger? Honestly shocked I also don't have an inflation fetish.

For me, it started off for medical reasons. I sometimes have seizures when I'm asleep, and while the meds I take deal with convulsing, they don't actuallt prevent the seizures themselves, When having one, I pretty much lose control of my body, which can lead to wetting accidents. While I found I could manage it by not drinking anything too late and emptying my bladder before going to sleep, I would still slip up. Maybe it's hot and I'm really thirsty, I'm tired and forget, or I've simply been out and had a few drinks, regardless, I'd still sometimes wet the bed, so I started buying diapers to wear while asleep just in case. Once I started though, I just became comfortable wearing them. It went from wearing them occasionally to wearing them every night.I stopped caring about managing it, and probably just made it worse. Wasn't long before I also started looking at ABDL stuff, and it just went from there.

For me, it started with the advent of YouTube in my early teens. It probably didn't help that I was quite coddled as a kid, my parents being very keen on shielding me from anything remotely sexual, and so my eventual late blooming came in the form of DL content. There's the whole question of nature or nurture, and while I'd always found bedwetting and peeing kind of exciting, it was several YouTube slideshow videos and clip compilations that ignited my interest in diapers (anyone else remember diapersFTMFW and his numerous channels with Diapergal highlights?). As someone who's quite uptight and reserved, the idea of someone happily wetting themselves always appealed to me. Also stumbled across some of *those* model sites specialising in diapers - the infamous two based out of Eastern Europe that shall not be named - and developed an adolescent crush on a few of the models. From there, I've gone between trying to rid myself of the fetish to actively indulging in it, although I've only ever worn a handful of times (a little too impractical and expensive for me). Diapers are one of those fetishes that pairs well with a ton of others though, so it's never fully gone away.

Long winded post incoming. TL/DR: Bladder difficulties + strict Christian environment + bad explanation of sex + DailyDiapers I grew up in a very locked-down Christian community. The adults displayed no sexual/physical intimacy in front of us and we had no real contact with or understanding of the outside world. We knew nothing about sex whatsoever other than that asking about it would lead to bad things. I also had a very oversensitive bladder as a child that kept me in a near permanent state of having to urinate. That, plus an intense phobia of public restrooms, led to several traumatic experiences wetting myself in front of people throughout elementary school. Also, there was increasing disdain from adults towards me for constantly asking to use the bathroom. So I think these things psychologically predisposed me toward an interest in diapers as a release from that physical and emotional torment. But there were several incidents during this time where I came across diapers in normal (and even two early sexual) contexts and I didn't have the slightest interest in them. So it wasn't something I conceived of at the time, but at least the groundwork was there. Then I was hit hard by puberty at the end of the 3rd grade. Was already a shrimpy, bullied, nervous wreck of a kid. Severe acne, body odor, voice cracking, hair growth and parents who not only made no attempt to help me, but actually viewed my emotional preoccupation with my appearance as an evil, made me a complete outcast. Queue the self-reinforcing emotional spiral from there. Along with that came intense sexual arousal which I had no basis for comprehending. Even though it was mentally all-consuming, it somehow didn't translate into anything physical for years (e.g. no erections or stimulation from anything physical). At about this time, the school was mandated by law (I think) to give us a sex-ed class. but being hard-line Christians, they went about it in the most obtuse manner they could. Early on they described wet-dreams as "starting to have bed-wetting accidents again" or something like that, and then the class of teenage boys descended into chaos. The only thing I took out of it was that sex involved some kind of involuntary release of fluid from the penis akin to involuntary urination. So I started spending hours each night at the toilet trying to induce myself to have an accident. It was excruciating, but in the absence of anything else it was the only possible glimmer in the dark. When that didn't work, I figured it must be because there was nothing really accidental about using a toilet. So then I tried in the tub, then with my clothes on, then in bed, then at my desk, then in physically confining conditions, and so on. Even tried messing a few times. Thankfully I never tried to do it in public and was never caught (as far as I know at least. I've recently become convinced that I have dissociative amnesia that has blocked out a substantial amount of my memories of this time). I also got my hands on some Victoria's Secret magazines at this time, which was my first exposure to the female body or anything sexual. So I'd just spend my nights staring at those catalogs while trying to induce an accident. I could feel that I desperately wanted sexually developed women (who would therefore be older sisters, mothers, teachers, etc.) to physically interact with my nether regions in some way, but I didn't know how or why, nor how urinating could possible fit into it. The only time women interacted that closely with anyone, as far as I knew, was with their very young children. Then one day my dad made a joke about adult diapers, which I did not know existed up to that point and had somehow never considered. I raced off to the computer, immediately stumbled across the DailyDiapers website, and my fate was sealed (I seem to recall that the very first thing I saw was a poem about a girl orgasming - a word I didn't even know at the time but got the gist of - while losing control of herself in a diaper Infront of her classmates). Everything fell into (an unfortunate) place: diapers formed the connection between urinating and physical contact with sexually mature women. Women keep you in diapers because your urge to urinate/cum (which in my mind at the time were the same thing) are uncontrollable. They find your inability to control yourself, especially in their presence, irresistibly adorable and shower you with physical and emotional affection. It wasn't until years later (probably around 15 years old), and a chance encounter with a vibrating appliance, that I had my first orgasm and came to understand what sex actually is. But by then my brain had been thoroughly mis-wired and there was no going back. So that is my canonical explanation. It fits with all the memories I have and the dates I can firmly pin down. But there is one hitch: I had a (verified) preoccupation with keeping some of my favorite toys in diapers that didn't fizzle out until approximately age 8. And I seem to recall having strange feelings of pre-sexual physical/emotional intimacy about it. That would make sense given what I said about the oversensitive bladder, that I was using the toys to act out what I (not fully-consciously) wanted for myself. So maybe I was cursed to develop this fetish from the beginning anyway.

Late potty trained and remember 3 and 4 going in moms closet to take dumps in my diapers. Remember wetting the bed and being put back in diapers right around that time too but not for very long at all. Parents divorced around that time to. Around 6 or 7 a diaper sample was in the mail and mom thought it would be funny to put it on me. I liked wearing it but then I had to take it off and no more diapers. Always in the back of my mind thinking about what if there were left over diapers somewhere in the house. Got a computer around 11 and found diaper porn and Goodnites were a thing. Walked to store and bought all white Goodnites. Put one on as soon as I got home and took a dump in it immediately, jerked off, and felt immense shame and hid them. Kept doing this. Over the years went from >All White Goodnites >Goodnites with Designs >Depends Max Protection >ConfiDry 24/7 with Boosters >MegaMax with Boosters My diaper fetish has inflated from small pullups to huge soaking wet 6000ml 8 pound diapers. Something about all white diapers and me never growing out of tighty whiteys as a kid and pretending they were diapers. Also developed a comfort thing from it and that could be because of how comfortable wearing MegaMax is. Always had a hard time sleeping in diapers until MegaMax. I can go to bed soaked and fall fast asleep and be comfortable in them. Pricey but the best diaper I've ever worn.

>>36300 Started at around 7 or 8 years of age when I found a princess pullup in a stepstool besides the toilet, and decided to put it on for shits and giggles. Wore it, felt regressed, and went to sleep wearing it. Woke up wet. Didn't interact with another diaper until I was 15, and since then I've been trying to wear as cautiously as I can (at night). Wrapping whatever I use in a plastic bag, maybe more than one bag depending on how much I used them, and lighting a candle or spraying around to keep the smell from permeating. Disposing of any evidence in local dumpsters. Still haven't been caught (at least by my family, anyway).

When I was a kid I wet the bed. I think my mom was too cheap to buy diapers/pull-ups because instead she sewed extra pieces of fabric into regular underwear. They were uncomfortable and barely worked. I have lots of memories waking up in a cold, wet uncomfortable bed and struggling to fall back asleep. Then, around age 5, I started wearing goodnites. This was because my mom signed up for a market research study so the diapers were provided for free. I was angry at first, but quickly grew to love them. A wet diaper was so much more comfortable than a wet bed. Each week was a different pack with different "formulas" or levels of thickness. Some weeks were VERY thick. Much thicker than goodnites today. They were all plain white and very much seemed like real diapers. There wasn't a sexual element yet, but I remember feeling a naughty sense of enjoyment. There was something thrilling about "going back in diapers" and feeling the bulky weight of my wet diaper as I walked down the hall in the morning, or sat on the couch and watched TV. Now here's the kicker... as part of this market research study, my mom had to weigh each diaper, bag them and return them to the company. On top of that, I would have to sit down for an interview with a friendly middle-aged lady and answer questions about how each diaper felt, their level of comfort, tendency to sag, etc. My therapist highly suspected this was what cemented my fetish, as I was being specifically asked to think about the sensation of a wet diaper against my penis at FIVE years old. I stopped wetting the bed maybe 1 year after, but pretty quickly started thinking about them. I had what I know realize was crippling anxiety, spurred by religion and the fear of going to hell. Anytime I was reprimanded by a teacher, even for something tiny, I would spend days afterwards with a heightened heart rate, unable to sleep. Somewhere I realized that the thought of wearing diapers was soothing. Whenever I was in trouble, or felt like I was going to be, I daydreamed that I could be put back in diapers. It wasn't about regression, but rather, in my screwed up logic, being shamed in diapers seemed like an adequate punishment that would restore the moral equilibrium. Fortunately I've more or less cured my anxiety since then, but my appetite for being shamed and/or shaming others in diapers has marched on.

Earliest memory was in 2nd grade (around 8) I had a dream where I was in a store trying on diapers. Then I remember when I was around 9 or 10 or so any website I was on that had a search bar I'd type "diaper" into it to see if there were any threads, articles, etc. about diaper. I didn't understand sexual arousal at that point it was just some sort of subconscious fixation. I remember seeing one of those crummy photoshops of a celebrity in diapers. Then around a year or so later I started searching for diaper videos and it became a full blown fetish. It's funny because I knew watching porn was supposed to be considered morally "bad" so I would skip all the scenes of the girls naked/changing so I wouldn't see any genitals and I would only see the diaper parts, which somehow made it okay in my mind

My mom was fucked up and I was collateral. Basically she infantilized me as a kid, and kept me in diapers well into my teens, guess it was inevitable it'd become a fetish.

>>36730 Great post, ChatGPT.

>>36730 Now try typing with two hands

>>36734 >>36742 Not same fag but, this is more common than you think. I wasn't infantilized but I always felt more comfortable wearing diapers. I was potty trained as a young child but would throw fits whenever I had to wear underwear. My mother gave up and just let me wear them. I continued to be changed by her until I was 14 years old. At some point it became a fetish of mine during puberty I assume because wearing them was so natural to me at that point.

>>36745 did you have a father/father figure? if so what'd he think about that

>>36446 >I started life in diapers and was expected to stop using them not long after despite preferring them >but I would find it more accurate to say I never developed an interest in toilets but had to adapt to be normal. i've thought about this concept while jerking off lately and it's made me cum hard, so thank you for sharing.

>>36745 how did school work for you though? wouldn't you have been humiliated by your peers? by girls?

>>36745 What kind of diapers did you wear up until she stopped changing you? Why did she stop changing you? Did you cum or get boners when she changed you? She changed your shitty diapers with huge logs until you were 14? Did you wear diapers around her with just a t-shirt and no pants? How long would she let you sit in shitty logged diapers before she changed you? Did you take dumps in your diapers in front of her? Does she still see you in diapers now? Did she catch you jerking off in diapers? What did friends / family / kids at school think of you wearing diapers all the time? I usually call bullshit on these stories about parents forcing it or even allowing it. But i recently heard a story in person of a 13 year old that still sleeps in the same bed as his parents / grandparent. That is about the same as letting your kid wear diapers into teenage years so I guess this shit happens sometimes.

>>36300 For me, the first time was back when I was watching reruns of old cartoons on TV and one that starred Donald Duck called "Future Inventions" was showing at that moment. That's when I first felt so weird about it. At first it was embarrassing and kinda funny to see Donald Duck being treated like a baby and the baby carriage machine forcing him to stay on diapers, but at the same time, I really liked it. I think I was 6 or 7 years old when I first saw this. It didn't really helped that despite me being potty-trained at 3 years old, I was still drinking from a baby bottle (That I sorta stopped at 12 years old) and sucking on pacifiers (That I stopped doing at 10 years old due to my poor dental hygiene back then. Dw it's better now), so I guess I was spoiled a bit because I was the youngest back then. It also didn't helped that my parents had separated when I was 7 and I remember I got bullied a lot in elementary school. There were some embarrassing situations in school, like in elementary's 3rd grade when I accidentally pooped my pants, but no one realized that at the moment, so when one of my colleagues got up from her seat to go to the bathroom, I tried to pick up my poop from my pants and put it on her seat. Too bad I didn't noticed that some other students were looking and they were laughing at me for that and calling me a baby for pooping my pants and trying to pretend it wasn't me. Even in elementary's 1st grade there was a day when I brought my baby bottle to drink for lunch at recess. Thank god no one noticed that one back then (This was late 90's, early 2000's, btw). I even used to play house with one of my cousins and my brother and they always wanted me to be the baby. It was comforting and fun. Honestly, for me, those embarrassing incidents also helped me solidify my love for diapers and baby things. Flash-Forward to my teen years and thanks to other cartoons having diaper-themed or AR episodes (And internet as well), that kept the idea of me liking to be a baby boy again alive, but I was only able to experiment using diapers again many years after I graduate (2015-2016, sorta. I graduated from High School in 2010), and they were really comfortable to use (Although I prefer to pee on them rather than poop on them). Same thing for the pacifiers and baby bottles, and I felt really calm and comfortable with them. I still wish to go back to diapers 24/7, but since I don't live alone (I still live with my mom because of money/economical issues) I still can't do that. But I still can go to sleep sucking on a pacifier or drink something on my baby bottle every now and then.

I don't remember any trigger for my diaper fetish, I was potty trained at 2 and rarely wet the bed. Parents divorced when I was 4 and they were mostly absent during my childhood and teens. My dad never hit me but my mom did sometimes and I was never sexually molested. My earliest memory wanting to wear diapers was when I was 7. I stared at diaper packs in the super market, wished they were made for kids like me. When I was 9, I asked my mom to buy a pack and she did. There were a bit small but I was incredibly happy. After my mom saw me in a wet diaper, I think she regretted that decision and gave me a speech about how I shouldn't be wearing diapers anymore and she discarded the rest of the pack. I didn't cry and accepted what she said and my diaper fetish went dormant until my early 20's. I never mentioned this fetish to my girlfriends, sex was ok but occasionally (like the other anon ITT) I had to think about diapers to orgasm.

Can't remember the exact point, but having bed wetting issue till I was 15 didn't exactly help at all, also had some weird trauma of being forced to wear a diaper when I was 5 but idk if that even contributed, kinda cooked but whatever somehow learnt about abdl stuff around that age through some hentai diving and then since just got curious about it and now I'm just fucked up

Had 2 neighbor girls as friends as a kid. One was older than me by 1-2 yrs, and would wear her doll's diapers. Other was about a year younger and wore pull ups/had occasional accidents. Since both knew how to use the toilet, and were around my age, I just thought girls liked to wear diapers sometimes. The older friend showed me what "sex" was (which she said was kissing one another's crotch, or rubbing them together while clothed) why tf she knew that much at age 7-8 makes me hope she just walked in on her parents and that they explained (poorly) what she walked in on, and that she wasn't abused. Obvs her info wasn't entirely accurate, but whatever. Didn't think too much about diapers for awhile until Middle school crush had an accident and wet herself in class, and brought diapers back to the forefront of fantasies. Tldr early "sexual" contact + thinking girls liked to wear diapers + crush having an accident = this fetish

The first memory I have of actively wanting to wear diapers is from when I was around 8 y/o. There were some pullups laying around my house (probably a relative who had visited and forgot them), and one day I had the idea to wear and pee them. They barely fit and could hardly contain my pee, which sucked because I realized what I wanted was to wear big snuggy diapers that would contain all of my pee, so when I asked my mother about getting diapers she made it very clear that what I was doing was wrong and that I should stop. I never touched the subject again and it kind of went to the back of my mind, though it kind of came back when I masturbated for the first time by humping a pillow when I was 12. When it truly came back it did it with a vengeance. I was 15 and I used this thing called the internet, I think the exact words I googled were "woman in diapers" or something like it. shortly after I found the whole ABDL thing and realized this is exactly who I was, which made it even worse because I knew full well I wouldn't be able to indulge. I'll never forget the times I went to this convenience store near my house only to look at the diapers while thinking "come on, maybe I could get away with it. Just buy a pack and hide it very well, nobody will notice". Too bad my mother wasn't respectful of my privacy or else I would have wonderful memories of my teenage years wearing them. I got blue balled until I was 19 y/o and could finally wear proper adult sized diapers. It felt amazing to just wear them, and peeing them was even better. Truly a magical experience, one of the happiest memories of my life.

>>36750 Stepdad was around at times and not around at times. I grew up in a broken home and because of various circumstances that I don't really want to revisit I was taken from my mother at 14, hence why I had to learn to drop the 24/7 diapers rather quickly. >>36762 Believe it or not I kept it pretty quiet. I learned to control my bladder and bowels and very rarely used my diapers if I was not at home. In the rare instances where I did need to use them I usually had on sweatpants under my jeans to attempt to cover up any signs of them or the smell. There was one instance of a friend finding out but they never told anyone thankfully. >>36763 I wore Huggies Pull Ups until I was about 10 or so I think. And then we switched over to goodnites once I out grew them. I never had any sexual feelings towards my mother or diaper changes in general. I usually prefer to actually wear diapers even when used. The act of changing is not enjoyable for me. She changed both pee filled diapers and poop filled diapers yes. I never walked around without pants on, even in the house. I've always been more comfortable wearing something over my legs even in the summer. My mother was abused during the relationship she had with my biological dad, whom I never met. As a result despite being a good hearted person was damaged and her abillity/desire to raise me was hindered. As such there would be times I would sit in the same pull up for days without asking to be changed during the summer time or weekends. I tried not to pee or poop in front of her but sometimes it was unavoidable since we lived in a single room apartment for a few years. Like I stated earlier somehow someway this was kept secret from family/friends/teachers. And when I was taken this was also kept secret from my caseworker and foster family. I very quickly retrained myself on the toilet so as to not cause further trouble for myself later. Yeah, I mean my case is uncommon for sure as is the individual I replied to. It's possible he is lying but, what I know is that my experience surely cannot be totally unique to me. I've seen kids experience FAR worse neglect. Unfortunately my mother passed in 2017 so I never really got closure with her. But, I don't hold anything against her. She did her best with the shit she had to deal with in her brain. If I blame anyone I blame my dead beat father for not being around and my step father who disappeared better than any magician I've ever heard of. Sorry for the TLDR but you seemed interested so.

>>36900 Damn. Sorry fren. It sounds like you not only lost your mother at 14 but you also lost your comfort zone with being with her and being able to wear diapers. Fucking sucks. How are you doing now? Are you able to wear diapers when you want to again? Did life get better for you? Sorry about your mom. F

>>36878 Don't worry anon. I bought diapers on my own all the time all through my teens and jerked off in them all the time. I can only really remember the first time buying Goodnites and putting it on and taking a dump and jerking off and the shame, getting caught by parents and the shame, and a sex experience that was amazing. I don't really remember much else because i wore so often its kind of a blur. And it was only Goodnites and Depends Max Protection in my teens so even though i loved them looking back I wish i had access to premium diapers as a teen. Oh well.

>>36921 Man, I'm good. I had a rough patch after her passing but I can't really complain about how my life turned out all things considered. You hear all the stories about foster children and the shit they go through and having been in and out of group homes/shelters before having been placed you see it's actually not far from the truth. I lucked out. Great relationship with my fosters, have a great supportive partner. Diapers have always been, then and now, a source of comfort for me and once I graduated college and set off on my own I was able to wear them again 24/7 and haven't looked back. Though, I do not wear at work. Far too much risk involved professionally. Appreciate your man.

>>36923 Good for you fren. That's great you are doing so well now. And I completely understand about not wearing to work. Too much anxiety and what ifs in your mind. Thats what makes home more special is you can wear whatever you want whenever you want. Your living the dream fren. Keep winning.

Just thought I'd put in my 2 cents feeling a bit unique as I don't really have a diaper/abdl fetish. It is more of a transformation/humiliation fetish combined with hypnosis. The thought of this stuff always repulsed me and I could never see it being erotic. However I had exhausted my library of hypnosis and it had become dull until I came across a abdl hypnosis file with sissy themes. So I gave it a whirl and I found the idea of being transformed, losing control extremely erotic and the humiliating aspect tantalizing. I bought diapers from amazon and began to really let go to hour long queues of files. It felt so good and letting go. The sensations of letting go were something else. NGL I had really great orgasms in diapers. Though that being said I felt absolutely ruined and depraved for enjoying it as much as I did. I did that for about 2-3 months then I got a GF and moved on. I only come on here to see if there are any massive developments in the hypno file section where many people swear great experience from a notorious file but alas no.

>>36300 >>36300 I'm sorry if this gets long-winded, this is kind of the only place I can talk about things like this. I think I never had a normal carefree childhood and the safety and escapist fantasy ABDL provides is more important to me than the sexual aspects. My parents were 16 when I was born and shortly after that my younger brother was born. Both of them were druggy hippy types and my dad would follow bands and festivals around selling drugs. I was about 5 when they divorced and both sides of the family fought endlessly in the ensuing custody battle. My father eventually got custody of us and we moved around for years. He worked very hard to provide for us but he was also an alcoholic with really intense anger issues and I was constantly afraid of him. He didn't hit me often but he was really hard on my brother. I was always walking on eggshells waiting for the next thing to set him off. I did see my mom on weekends and holidays but that was fairly limited as she moved to the city from our rural hometown. She's a really sweet person, hard working, smart, just kind of scattered and at worst irresponsible. Over the years I was exposed to things that in retrospect is kind of insane. At the time it was all kind of normal and part of the background, I'm only recently realizing how fucked up it all was. Without going into too much detail my dad sold and used a lot of powder drugs. I've seen them both walking around naked, seen them bringing strange people home and having loud sex. I was given drugs and alcohol from a very young age, even from my parents. The first time my dad gave me acid I was 14. He basically let me do whatever I wanted as long as my GPA was over 3.5. The first time I can remember any kind of tingle in my privates was reading a Goosebumps book, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, maybe some of you recognize it. The main character slowly becomes a baby and I would feel really funny about certain parts. That and another Goosebumps CYA book that had an age regression ending. I would read them over and over, imagining myself slowly being turned into a baby. I didn't even know what sex was really, I was like maybe 7 or 8. Eventually I got the internet and found things like the ARarchive and ABDL porn. I was also a really feminine boy and I wasn't treated very well for that fact. I was abused in a lot ways related to that I don't want to go into detail with either. I always wanted someone I could trust to just obey knowing everything would be ok. I started to fantasize about being just pretty and sweet and people wanting me. Over time those fantasies sort of congealed and that's everything I'm into now, being infantilized and feminized and babied. My ultimate fantasy is to be slowly transformed into a baby girl and lose all of my grown up thoughts. When I really boil it down it's a coping mechanism, I always just wanted a family to care about me without having to be responsible for them. Someone to take care of me with nothing they want in return. To love me unconditionally. To just be cherished and held. The diapers are just a way to remind me that someone will change me and care for me. Most of the other ABDLs I've met online or in person have been abused in some way as children. When I think about it too hard it gets pretty sad.

>>36997 Saw this post from the front page but the part about your dad resonates with me. Truth be told I had a pretty happy childhood but my Dad had an incredibly bitter temper. He would fly off the handle at the smallest things, and it was stressful just being around him because we didn't want to set him off. He wasn't actually around that much, being a pilot, even before the divorce, but he was my hero even though he enjoyed casually mocking and humiliating me for sport. It wasn't really until my late 20s that I started unpacking all the damage that was done to me in those years, having previously minimised it because I wanted my dad's approval and thinking of him in this light amounted to a thought crime. Now it's easy to see in retrospect how I got such an intense kink for humiliation and age regression, and it's linked to the brief window in my early childhood in which I was truly loved and cherished before my younger sister and brother came along.

>>37006 Did your dad humiliate you for liking diapers? How did he do it?

>>37006 >>37006 Yeah I can relate friend. My dad would also constantly mock and humiliate me and my interests, unless they were things that he understood and appreciated.

>>37013 Yes this is exactly it. If it wasn't something he personally liked or was interested in he would mock and belittle it. Presumably the intention was to make me more like him, and while I did genuinely adopt some his interests - and pretend to adopt a few others - ultimately it made me a shy and private person afraid of intimacy. There was a lot of other petty mocking too though. I remember at least instance in which he insinuated my younger brother has a bigger cock than me. Might explain why I have a small penis humiliation despite having an average 6 inch dick. What's fucked up is I spent so much energy trying to suppress all these things because I didn't want to disappoint him. If anything though, it's his fault and now I have the curse of dealing with it completely alone.