I started writing a scifi story about 7 years ago and stopped about 2 years ago. Only barely novella length. This excerpt was written using a couple of funny suggestions from the original 8chan /lit/.
Probably posted it before.
Exhausted, Brian was on the edge of falling asleep when a disturbing rumble emitted from the pilot’s throat, followed by a loud belch. Snapped back to wakefulness, Brian observed the pilot reaching behind his seat, producing a plastic bottle of fluorescent blue fluid, promptly removing the lid. Head tilted back, he positioned the bottle vertically, hovering above a gaping mouth so that the contents splashed down in an unsightly waterfall, miniature rivers making their way across his cheeks. When it was empty, the pilot tossed it without care behind him, and Brian noted that many such bottles were strewn across the floor. He must’ve missed them when entering. Noticed that he was being watched, the pilot self-consciously wiped the sticky residue from his face.
“Keeps me going, y’know”, the pilot explained. “I’m on biological urge suppressants so I can stay at the wheel without needing to… y’know… too often. Probably about time, though”
Brian raised his eyebrows, but remained quiet.
“Rhonda, check my bladder biometrics. How’re we doing?”
The image of a scantily-clad woman appeared on the main dashboard screen.
“Ninety-five point nought four percent capacity, Captain”, she assessed in a tinny, obviously artificial but unmistakably female voice. When she finished, she gave a sultry smile.
“That’s nearly a full one, again! I can’t stop now!”.
The pilot have a cautious glance back to his quarters, as if judging how long it would take him to run to the toilet.
In a manly, authoritative tone, he roared “Think our ship’s mission, Rhon! We can’t be late or they’ll dock our pay again”. Calming down, he said lovingly “besides, you know I have a medical condition”. He looked directly at a small camera above the screen and gave it a wink. “Activate emergency evacuation plan alpha”.
“Evacuation?” queried Brian
“Ah, it’s nothing to worry about. But you don’t want to be around for beta”.
A small circular hatch under the middle of the dashboard slid open , and a rubber tentacle, serpent-like, slid out, extending further and further along the floor. It had the diameter of a human wrist, and three pincers at one end. It stopped by one of the empty bottles, hesitating for a moment, seemingly reluctant, then advanced and grabbed it. The upper tentacle rigidified, then rose, bottle held aloft like a trophy. The lower portion, still flexible, retracted, then slid towards the section of dashboard under which the pilot was sitting. The pilot reclined, hands behind his head, and Brian, suspecting where this was going, looked away as the pilot sighed contentedly and the bottle was filled anew. The tentacle took the bottle with it, and the pilot immediately reached for another drink, opened it and moved the liquid, a fluorescent purple this time, to his lips. Impatient, he crushed the bottle, propelling the sloshing fluid down his throat.