His nervousness was at an all time high, just as his mental health and quality of life both hit an all time low. He had been left no choice but to do this by circumstances mostly beyond his control. Sure, he could have opted not to have any illegal opinions which inspired this decision. But why did he have illegal opinions to begin with? The changing winds of society hadn't done enough to integrate him into the new order, as far as he was concerned. Whether or not that was true was beside the point, as it was now or never. Brinny knew as the election results came in and showed him that his half-hearted and demoralised vote for Reform had accomplished nothing, that he had been left no other choice but to carry this out. He didn't even have the ability to turn back at this critical juncture, as the life awaiting him was no life to return to. He would rather lose everything and be a hero than a citizen without the comforts and privileges that he felt he was owed as a "native" of Great Britain. All of these realisations swirled in his head until he accepted what he had to do. And then he pushed the button. A short burst of sound louder than a thousand fighter jets rang out, followed by the horrified screams of all of the residents of Westminster. Brinny has just committed a based offence to save England.
He watched pensively from across the Thames as the roaring flames engulfed everything. Could it have all been for naught? Might he have simply thrown his life away and caused the most cultural damage to London since the second World War, without a single policy change for his countrymen? Perhaps, but more importantly, those in Westminster who Brinny feels have misguided the country will never cast a vote again. The delight in revenge washed over Brinny, and his nervous shaking was replaced by a calm, cool glee as a million sirens blared throughout London and pandemonium unfolded in the streets. He casually strolled to the river bank, feeling the intense heat from the other side, and tossed the device in the water. He sauntered off into the night, cloaked by the shadows and the chaos.
Within minutes, the city was awash with crime, worse than any city has ever seen, as every fire appliance rushed to Westminster, followed by a veritable army of civilian and military law enforcement and intelligence, and an armada of boats. Theft, murders, and more fires spread all over London as law enforcement scrambled to figure out what happened. Communities of colour hid silently in their homes as hordes of white Reform voters, jilted by Nigel Farage's quiet relocation to Israel after his failed election bid, unleashed havoc on the Great Wen.
Despite the apocalyptic scenes and unprecedented fear, Brinny had never felt safer. But he knew it would only be a matter of time before he was caught, unless he made the right moves now. With all flights grounded, he knew his only way off the island was by boat. He had already prepared for this.
He rang a dummy man of whom he had been a reliable customer for years. "David?" asked Brinny, as the burner phone he called was silently picked up. "...Yeah mate... I heard about it too... but don't you worry. The chicken powder supply line is still open. How much you want today?" the posh accent responded. "It's not about that." replied Brinny. "I need you to introduce me to that man you told me about... You know, the one from Cameroon.". "What you need Olunga for?" inquired David. "I just need to meet him right away. I've got big money for him." Brinny said in an unaffected manner. "Well alright then Brinny, I will tell him to reach out on Telegram. You have it right?" David asked. "Yeah... thanks mate" Brinny said and hung up the phone.
Brinny waited patiently for minutes that felt like hours until he received a Telegram notification. He was messaged by an anonymous account only a few minutes old. He teemed with excitement. Olunga was his way out, because this man was a seasoned human trafficker who had facilitated the migration of many Africans into the UK. And if he can get people in, he can get people out.
"Battersea Park. You have 30 minutes."
Luckily this wasn't far from where Brinny had committed his based offence, so Brinny began briskly walking toward the meetup spot. As he got closer, he saw the park was swarmed with police cars. This meetup spot would not do. He rushed to open his Telegram but saw the account had blocked him. He begins panicking once again, and right as he tries to detour away from the park, a spotlight is cast upon him. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" ordered an officer. Brinny froze, consumed by fear, as he was approached by police.
"Place your hands behind your back." ordered the officer, as Brinny sheepishly complied. The officer started to handcuff Brinny and stated "You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence." It was over, and Brinny knew it, but how?
Olunga had keenly realised that Brinny was the prime suspect in this case, and had lured him into the park and called the police. This African man became the saviour of Britain on that dreadful day in 2024, and on this day, we honour his life, legacy, and the many successes of his tenure as Prime Minister, regarded widely as the greatest leader to ever hold the office.