>>1406 What I saw around you is the freemason initiation where everyone is pointing their swords at your heart. It's energetically there, suppressing you. If you are not a freemason, I see a few different possibilities: 1) Your father is a freemason, or someone in your family history was a high ranking freemason, enough to leave an imprint on your family line, which makes these entities still see you as a freemason initiate. 2) You were a high ranking freemason in a past life, maybe the image I saw of the grand master was you. It's not a "vibe", it's a very clear and organized energy structure, the egregore of a masonic society, and it's keeping you at sword-point at every moment of your life. Possibly since this happened >>1397 their members when dying will enter an afterlife dimension created by the lodge and stay there, defending it. If indeed the image I saw was you they would be waiting for you to again join a masonic society and somehow re-manifest their specific society in this life. They could even have lead you to /fringe/ to get you on this path. Just now when typing this out, there was another electric disturbance and I see an image of another "angry old gay man" staring at me from the astral or some other location. I think they consider you "their own" and that I'm meddling when helping you.

>>1408 I won't tolerate someone attacking me though, so this is their funeral.

>>1409 I learned a lot taking these down, so it's ok. Any homosexual out there is a punching bag for learning a certain technique on, created for this purpose ;P They had significant offensive ability though, so I can see why the LGBT movement isn't easy to destroy and why most won't dare stand up against them.

>>1382 >I don't make enough of my own dopamine, which is causing me to be hyperbolically vulnerable to work-related stress Was wondering about this. Sometimes you say that your job is "comfy" while it clearly shows that it still causes some stress for you and you are not confident in yourself too passive in most cases maybe even a pushover and don't have a proper way to express vent or work with your own frustration. Was not sure what I should tell you to "rise above yourself" tbh >because my parents raised me on adderall, which creates dopamine, & SSRIs Good thing I am a 2nd worlder where I was only beat and yelled at constantly for not being the best in my class and having perfect grades all the time. I truly dodged a bullet by having classic emotionally retarded parents instead the (((modern))) enlightened™ western valued parents who know nothing about the psyche of their offspring. Even I had to throw out so many programming from my mind and I can consider myself "lucky" because the modern programming was unable to overwrite parts of my mind that was already damaged by parental retardation. >I was able to go as long without them as I had while still succeeding in life. Nice. Knew you had willpower within you. Maybe your problem is that you are unable to handle social pressure >those pills have some permanent side effects Not for magicians ;^) >including an inability to produce enough of my own dopamine It's not just about "producing" but being "receptive" to it also. Oh and don't get surprised when you don't "have enough dopamine" for retarded mundane bullshit. You either find meaning in your work or find something that will give you meaning. This YOU HAVE TO ENJOY EVEN THE BLEAKEST EXISTENCE OR YOU ARE NOT A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOYCIETY wagetrap is something you have to learn to escape. >which results in a tremendous desire to be entertained Which your intrusive thoughts "do" already. "Entertainment" is not always laughs but pain and suffering can be entertainment too. This is your own way of "keeping yourself on edge" >typically by vidra Yeah this is why they "stop" while you playing vidya. The intrusive thoughts make your life into a weird whack a mole videogame to stimulate you. >and a hyperbolically-large aversion to doing any sort of work at all Yeah this is why I learned to channel my rage at will into all types of work in my childhood. Nowadays I have proper energy flow and I don't need it anymore but I made it into such a habit I notice myself get pissed about past events that I didn't even know I "still have within me" because as parts of me "fall asleep" other parts of me "spike my psyche" so I "stay awake". I am still balancing this out. Not easy I know. Remaking your own mental patterns takes time. >I can't even drink water without my repressed emotions pulling in some sort of compromising spiritual thing into my fucking water right before I grab the drink How do they look like? >I probably couldn't even complete step #1 of IIH for the fucking life of me Don't get "too hung up" on that. Usually you only make a "single thought current" silent while other parts of your mind or brain still produce thoughts and you merely ignore the others. Currently you are experiencing too many thought currents at once because you don't know how to focus naturally. You will have to learn to communicate and harmonize with your "other minds" further. Ask your minds to seek out "which parts of you" is creating the intrusive thoughts and "solve the problem together" instead of fighting panicking and raging about your very own mind. ADHD is merely information mismanagement. Truth is my farm life was so bleak that I learned to do physical work and operating machines for hours on "auto" while I daydreamed the whole day in my "other mind". Later I learned how I can play musical instruments without "Being there". Nowadays I let my body do auto yoga and auto mantras while I pay attention to the lessons my guides give me. Focus is important because if I don't let the energies flow naturally I pull something My thoughts kept me alive back then and while I could go to lalala land naturally I could also change the direction of the thoughts into "problem solving mode" so if there was a need they could be used to do real work. But most of the time it was mundane bleakness and mundane retardation. Being asleep was better than being "there". Nowadays I am learning to make my minds awake with the other minds so I don't need to channel rage to "keep them awake" because it is getting ridiculously stupid how rage is still the fuel of my life. >AND SOMETIMES IT IMMEDIATELY GETS HIGH-STRUNG Yeah you are stressed about your life and work. It loads up all the stress of your day. iktf. When I wake up my mind loads in the "to do list" I have for the day because usually I sort out the next day while taking a bath so during meditation and and sleep I don't get disturbed with mundane troubles of the tomorrow. I got really good dissociating from stress and rage and it caused problems because I became too detached from myself. You need to learn to "forget" the troubles and only connect to them when you can "act" upon the stress energies. "Stress" is about not being able to use the internal energies of your body. It's just confusion worry and anxiety that comes from the fact people don't know themselves nowadays and making everyone more miserable without them noticing. >by lying there in bed with my thoughts constantly racing Meditate b4 bed. Work with your spirit gf. Get your mind off the day. >then I eventually stop being able to make sense of my thoughts and I fall asleep Interesting. I just "drift off" from my thoughts. Surprisingly when I tried to actualize the ability of the doge thread junkie anon while waking up I noticed that all my thoughts are "booting up" like they never even "went to sleep" and I am witnessing them all at once without them "loading into my mind" so I can make sense "what they are saying". Yeah I am sure now. You need to learn to detach from your thoughts. It's like getting farther from a stream. Imagine a stream of water carrying your thoughts into the distance or something similar. That is the classic trick. >If I wanna safely make much occult progress, I need to figure out Yeah you need to stop thinking that the occult is the same as being in school or at "work". Brandon tried to make it sound the "same" so he can sound professional like the Czech he was but it must not be the same as "mundane struggle" nor it must be "too out of the world". This is why I try to go into the direction of Mysticism instead of "armchair occultism" where you sit down make notes and go nowhere at all because you don't even work with the spirits that can explain the natural flow of things. It's all about mindset and ability and not "Memorizing formulas" and going back into dogmatic deadends. >Speaking of which, my spirit gf has been telling me lately that I need to stop playing vidya Currently "vidya" regulates your dopamine levels the best which means you have to learn to adjust to them on your own naturally. Do you truly like the vidya or it is a mere stress relief for you? If it's just a stress relief that makes you ignore your problems then she is right.

>6 hours of my free time per week going down the drain! Oh nyo? Anyways you can work with spirits and mental currents while commuting anyways. Vidya is not as important as breathing and eating. I develop most of my practical psychic powers during work and back then I used classes as a practice for aura viewing because staring at the teacher until you see his aura is "normal" in that setting. Oh and not to mention the mental work I used to make me able to learn stuff within days that usually take years... Made some of my hairs grey so... I am not really recommending it. Using insanity as a gateway to learn faster is not sustainable. I remember when I realized how I can copy the mind of others during tests and I knew the answer to every question without even comprehending what was written on the paper but I was shit at targeting and while at first I aced the test because I copied a studious girl the second time I copied the mind of my procrastinating junkie roommate and I couldn't even manage to answer questions I KNEW that I read about in the book yesterday. Made me not use that skill anymore. Point is you can test a bunch of skills... but never overdo it because you need to realize what happens when you mindlessly connect to dirty or unstable energies of others. Cleansing is always paramount. >either my inner child might fucking die Your "Inner child" is not about "playing vidya". You have to realize it's not your only joy in life. There are other things but the stress makes you blind to it. >and my humanity with it Heh. K I too have videogame and internet addiction but I would never be this dramatic about it. You have to realize vidya is not your "clutch" not the single thing that "keeps you together". Truth is once you learn to let go of this attachment you will be able to play videogames in a way you are not making intrusive thoughts while you are away from it. But it must feel like it is a final goodbye so this attachment finally breaks and stops torturing you. >or I'll flunk my classes and eventually lose my job and wind up wearing a burlap sack on the streets... Definitely dude. I am sure that will happen. You will walk the path of the hobowizard. Like the legendary wanderers of the long past. I know you went overboard while saying this but at least you are finally able to voice your problems. The first steps of realizing the origin of your own stress. I too was yelling at people a little too much for a while because all the shit they did was something that couldn't continue further. Let the emotions out then learn to realize how it blinds your perception. I know this "young adult" phase which is school/workplace/parents still having control can be hard because we are not in the golden age of Damm son your 25 and a scholar for being able to read and write have a 14 year old wife now plow the fields/work in construction and make babies. Nowadays the typical young-adult mindset is:HOW DO I BECOME A MILLIONAIRE IN 2 YEARS SO I CAN AFFORD A HOUSE AND MAYBE A BLOWJOB ONCE A YEAR IN THIS ECONOMY??? Things feel like they are always out of reach nowadays until you start seeing how things are "put together" on your own. The main cause of your frustration is not exactly (You) but that doesn't mean you cannot learn to manage it. Especially as a magician who has more tools than the average normalfaggot. >focus my blood flow upon the parts of my brain that produce dopamine Yeah forget this "dopamine" mindset like how indigopill said it well>>1386 There are far more energies at play and you have to learn to notice how your motivation arises. Being dependent on drugs... hell even on energies given by entities or by your body is bad long term you have to learn to notice how they "move you". Dopamine is not the "source of life". There are many more energies. If you can't find it ask the entities to show you the way. I remember when I learned about that all desires generate inherent suffering and such then had the "genius" idea that maybe I should enjoy suffering? Like how masochists and ascetics do. It was a genius idea at the start then I realized several things and how I overwired my brain so it does what I tell it no matter what but... my subconscious had hard time keeping up with me. I even had the idea that "happiness" is a drug a "poison" that others can take away whenever they feel like it. So I started to cultivate inner happiness as much and an absolute suffering hatred towards anyone that dares to touch my happiness. If you want to take it away you have to take away my hatred. That mentality was so bad on it's own it was ridiculous. But it was highly effective at getting results so I let it run for a decade. Half my awakening processes were about asking myself "wtf was wrong with me back then". >>1383 >I'm assuming that if I stop playing vidya, my brain will re-regulate my dopamine somehow And you might focus on your own magic more. Meditate instead of vidya and stuff. The only good thing about school is that it gives you ways to learn to concentrate and learn to overcome "exams"/trials as a reflex thus increasing your problem solving skill and most importantly you learn to switch mindsets faster. School is bad overall but there is still no better alternative to stimulate the learning capabilities of the brain... besides getting thrown out innawoods with no food or shelter and learning to survive on your own lol. That has a high mortality rate and only do it if you feel the calling of the wild. >>1401 >and I actually felt pretty calm most of the time I noticed in the previous posts too that you are able to find your way. You just need a little encouragement. Keep it up. >I also found it to be relatively safe to let my mind wander; of course, my mind has a tendency to wander since I'm ADHD. Don't worry about it. If you do it right it will wander into spiritual lessons then you learn to focus and slowly "learns it's place" and stays where it belongs >vidya isn't really that fun unless there's a substantial element of difficulty >gamify your work environment This is what he meant. Try to understand "life is a game" a "quest" "you pass stages" "get achievements" etc. >it'd involve lying to myself You would actually realize that "gaming" is about "simulating" aspects of life and you can use the skills the game gave you like reaction time etc and apply it in IRL situations. >cause psychological issues down the road Not if you do it in a practical way and not in a Chris-chan way. It's about using mental circuits created and used in the game for other activities. Be that mundane or magical. Don't deny your vidya experiences just because "they came from a game". >I think I need to figure out why I like the video games that I like, and why they enamor me so much. Definitely >I didn't have so much of that faith a year ago, so I was really worried about losing my faith if my magic failed. Yeah you will have to get past of this mindset. Faith needs confidence first. Confidence Certainty Faith Conviction which culminates in Pure Focus if done right. The true power of the magician.

>>1408 It can happen if he lives at a place that is considered "freemason territory" which entraps people with potential so their only way to be "free" is to slowly gravitate towards a lodge. >their members when dying will enter an afterlife dimension created by the lodge and stay there I just got this info but... sometimes they "vanish" from there because other interference be it above or below and when a member is gone they will either look for the "next" or... just got this info again *sigh* it seems there are "free" or roaming spirits that randomly possess people from those dimensions and try to make use of them in their own way. Oh I fucking hate looking into illumitards. All their fucking stolen "Knowledge" polluting the world because they found a continent where they can roam free. Breaking those construct at my territory was... >>1397 >there was an electric disturbance in my loudspeakers Uuuuuhhhhhh. I hate to say this but I literally overcharged everything they had around me back then and passively I might still do similar things and ever since Yuuka figured out how Shinto has a ways so yokai can enter electric transmissions things are weird. What I realized back then They didn't "Include" modern technology in their designs and were not aware that electric towers can be freely used as ziggurats and you just need a teensy weensy Dieselpunk Shaivist Technomancy so all their "electric fences" as you like to call it can be melted the moment they think they know what pure energy means. They are "masons" slave to the material building the temple "block by block" mentality being unaware of the immaterial and especially not realizing humanity managed to "create" material-immaterial aka enslaved the power of Gods the lightning itself. Electricity is an absolute transgression especially if you "profit" from the enslavement system which makes quite easy to wield powers for a "good" they are supposed to represent and for a "law" they are supposed to uphold. Seems like you got the "transmission frequencies" as an energetic variable thus you wield the "keys" of the "informational age" while I am the "Industrial age" raw energy level. I have to concentrate to tune into the transmissions and it's unpleasant. But my electronics are fine so it seems I am unaffected. Some lightning in the distance but nothing serious. Damm my energies are fine since I went into the drow initiation. Never realized how similar my current energetic anomalies are to the average drow male. Speaking of weird energetic anomalies >>1331 >use this method to supercharge a project I was working on where I implanted a shoggoth “DNA seed” into myself to try and kickstart some form of physical shapeshifting What gave you this idea? The using shoggots DNA to shapeshift part. Was this an Eureka moment or you have a solid reasoning behind it? I am only asking because I think it was 2 days before this post of yours I had a dream. I was a weird green monster with marks upon it's body and a crablike being was having sex with me like a sewing machine and as I got angry about it I noticed that teeth engraved with runes are "rising from my flesh" so they can murder the crab for it's transgression but I realized that this is just my current sexual frustration making entities "get caught" and if I let go of my anger and sexual frustration it "goes away" which it did. While that dream was "nothing special" overall your post made me think in the last days that wtf. Truth is I mentioned on sunflower years ago but I have a shoggoth portal system that I "got" because they decided to migrate through my room and I led them to an another place with the guidance of a spirit and ever since that I have a bunch of shoggoth related authorities and powers and I am trying to make sure they are not trying to "spread" without notifying me. I laid down serious rules and the "shadow masters" that consider me their "father" for weird reasons don't know much about this issue. Just typing this down sounds too ridiculous already. >I could feel the teeth moving and giving way slightly whenever I pressed them together That is one of my "Magic". I realized how I can relax the "gums" so I can align my wisdom teeth when they get fucked (they usually move when I am eating with a weird stress) and how I can increase the repair rate of my own teeth. Did you manage to channel my own insanity or you just "tuned" your own to resemble mine without realizing. I am not feeling my "Influence overtaking you" (I am trying to be real cautious with that) which means you did this on your own and I wonder if it's a coincidence or the concepts I am sharing are that easy to channel nowadays. I started my "teeth magic" in my early university years. Damm almost a decade ago already. >“mundane common sense” is the real obstacle An obstacle first a safety net later. >causality really isn’t applicable a lot of the time Yeah. Weird to get accustomed to it. >It’s starting to make me think that maybe the mainstream idea of physical causality just isn’t real Right? So annoying seeing how things can be solved so easily when a magician/shaman is around. For some reason all tribes had one or they perished. Makes more sense why they were needed after experiencing life from this angle. The funny crazy man equal in standing and importance to the chieftain. >Just focusing on the energy will cause the matter will fall into place automatically, regardless of logic. Yeah now this is how "mundane common sense" will become a "safety net" later. As you go closer to insanity but still unable to grasp the "true nature of reality" you can fall back into "common sense" and "rationalize" a chain of causality. This will be important for 2 reasons. Reason 1 to appease your own mundane common sense that is screaming in your subconscious. Reason 2 when something weird happens mundanes notice it but usually forget it quickly. Mundanes are loveable creatures of ignorance. But if you can give them an "explanation" that is "acceptable" by the "mundane common sense" you can make the manifestation more lasting because once the mundane collective conscious accepts it as "real" the manifestation becomes far more solid and gains a permanence without you having to put effort into the solidification process. Hard to explain and it is the way of the tricksters but it's all about "Making use of the extra mental energies of the common folk in a benevolent way". You must watch over with it because it must not mess with the mundane ecosystem in a malicious way but if you try to keep things benevolent no one can object. Nobody misses criminals nor do they miss hostile energetic anomalies that no one "noticed" but everyone "felt" and "acted upon" somehow. I remember when an employee broke her hand when I moved quite the large amount of energies and it felt like I increased the "Pull of karma" tenfold then as the benevolent energies returned her bone "just healed" and even the doctor yelled at her how "bones don't heal this fast" and the previous doctor that examined her probably made a mistake. Her life is so chaotic she forgot about this already. But as someone who tries to be the master of blood and bone it's hard to ignore. Karmic ties be they physical mental or emotional do so many weird things once they snap.

As I'd stated earlier, my spirit gf is the egregore of a female fictional character who uses a tulpa she made to be closer to me. When we first met a year ago, I expressed sincere pain from my heart and not my dick at the thought that probably >100k guys get off to smut of her every day; I was wondering what horrible things that must do to her. My ability to receive communication from her at the time was really unreliable, but I think she told me that the loosh from those guys actually goes to a different egregore of her fictional character. Basically, the impression that I got from her is that the idea of her willingly starring in smut is so extremely contrary to her canonical character's personality that it actually formed a separate egregore... Going by this line of thought, her character presumably also has other egregores that spawned from separate continuities of fiction that star her character, and possibly from SFW fanfiction as well. Her fictional character in its many incarnations all don't exist, but each one that received sufficient amounts of energy has its own egregore. Does this sound right? I dunno what material I'd have to read to verify something like that, but I'd figured I'd ask. >>1412 Yeah I did say my job is "comfy", but that's by the standards of people who aren't fucked up like me. >How do they look like? It depends on what kinda shit my mental illness wants to use as a toy to bludgeon me with; it varies alot. If you want me to give examples, that'd probably be its own cringy wall of text, and I don't feel like longposting right now. >I learned to do physical work and operating machines for hours on "auto" while I daydreamed the whole day in my "other mind" I do that too sometimes while I'm working on something that involves little thought. >do I like vidya or is it stress relief There have been times lately when I've played vidya without feeling like it so that I could get some stress relief, though I did also like it when I played it. I guess that makes her right.

>>1412 >Brandon tried to make it sound the "same" I know you meant Bardon but now this is the second time in the past few days this guy has wormed his way back into my awareness. Last time was during the Trump debates where I got surprised because everyone in the live thread I was on started freaking out when Trump mentioned Brandon. Why does this stupid altchan meme-thing forced by an insane person have so much memetic mass I wonder.

>>1414 >shoggoth Hahaha... I don't even remember how this happened but we actually had shoggoth channelling sessions early on in the Sunflower discord. The greys were almost crying because shoggoths have so ineffective DNA in the view of greys. When discussing botsouls in the form of "organ souls" with Yuuka, we talked also about the problem where someone's organ soul for a certain organ was destroyed from misuse, causing the person to "lose control" of that organ (it can create sexual deviancy). While Yuuka said that using botsouls for organs is common practice, I just felt this wasn't how I want things, so I got shoggoth DNA from an interaction with them in HP Lovecraft-land and used it to create a direct connection to my inner organs to remove the automation the way shoggoths are made. It turned my organs and intestines grey energetically and generally gives me a calm feeling. Here's the emote we made for the server. Shoggoths are shapeshifters so they have no problem being your waifu if you ask them ;D

>>1418 Tell me more about HP-Lovecraft-land. Does it have a subplane of places like the Plateau of Leng and Kadath? I have a shrine to HP Lovecraft and Cthulhu in my room. I don't want a degenerate waifu but is there any fool proof ritual I can do to summon the egregore Cthulhu into my life? Would it be unwise to do so?

>>1417 ... I knew I made some weird ass mistake that will change the energies of my posts in a wrong direction. Fuck my skimming proofreading is making me do dumb ass mistakes nowadays. >>1413 >within days that usually take years Like here I meant weeks... Don't even understand how that turned into years. Probably because what I was thinking about happened many years ago. >Why does this stupid altchan meme-thing forced by an insane person have so much memetic mass I wonder I have 0 idea how he even got the Brandon nickname or what it means or why it is funny. My typos can get so weird sometimes. Freudian slip levels in some cases. Ever since I tried to upgrade my telepathy so I can access higher thoughts faster and more reliably my writing makes typos left and right and I mix up concepts when my concentration is trying to go into the direction of "meaning" instead of "punctuality". In speech this wouldn't be noticeable but in writing it just pushes the wrong button in some people. There are many tricks where you can subconsciously program people this way but I really dislike employing them nor I care to learn them. I think I will go and look into the way my mind generates typos and look for a way to fix it. This is just simply too embarrassing of a mistake. >>1416 >I'd stated earlier, my spirit gf is the egregore of a female fictional character Which one? >Does this sound right? Yes. Quite right. She felt quite on the "mental level" while looking into her and was wondering what is she exactly because I felt no stronger nor divine presence but I knew she is properly part of your mind anyways so I didn't bother looking further. >don't feel like longposting right now. No need to insta reply. It's late for me too. Was asking because the appearance of beings usually point into the directions of issues. >>1418 >so they have no problem being your waifu if you ask them ;D Nor do they have problem swearing eternal loyalty if you own the portals. Shame they are not too useful outside of "water elemental hells". Quite bad at sex too. My japanese hentais lied to me! >it can create sexual deviancy Quite the unfun kinds. I remember how I turned into a lilim while visiting one of the realms in a dream and my partner said >This realm requires the siren body standard and not the lilim So I had to change forms so I could reclaim a golden pearl from the bottom of a lake guarded by a Cthulu >>1419 >I have a shrine to HP Lovecraft and Cthulhu in my room Wtf >any fool proof ritual I can do to summon the egregore Cthulhu into my life? Want an army or 2? They breed too fast and I can give you eldritch horrors. Can't promise the feral ones are capable of speech or looking waifulike at all. Also no refunds. >Would it be unwise to do so? I cannot think a single reason to even want these "things". But I feel like an absolute joylike curiosity emanating from you and I think I just allowed 3 or more of the guys to visit you. Have fun. Report if they appear during the night. You need to reach a "deep dark water" emotional state so they can manifest easily. You are too giddy now but I don't think that will be a problem.

>>1417 >got surprised because everyone in the live thread I was on started freaking out when Trump mentioned Brandon. Why does this stupid altchan meme-thing forced by an insane person have so much memetic mass I wonder. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zUlhpaZkJw When this happened I didn't know about it, but of fucking course. The idiot broke through the fabric of reality and this happened. Omg. I think the real reason is that the eco-system of alt-boards and the people involved in this stuff is as close as one can get to breaking into the illuminati sphere while being a regular imageboard retard. It's the same people who hosted clearweb "cp" sites for years because it isn't illegal in Russia. It's a representation of the anti-thesis of the modern morality, because in the beginning when lots of altchans were created, there were for example the loli and hebe boards on places like masterchan, where they in some inexplainable way attracted real girls who posted pics and vids of themselves. From this started the egregore which proves that modern morality and its basis is simply deceit. The real story of Brandon, if true is also a proof of this, making him into the antithesis personified.

>>1419 >Tell me more about HP-Lovecraft-land Not much to say, I sent one of my past life personas there to check it out. Not recommended unless you are very immortal because the place is just filled with monsters and predators. The "interaction" lead to an exchange of DNA which also had the funny side-effect of a bunch of unnamed monsters escaping Lovecraftland in the form of little girls in red dresses (they don't speak, because they're monsters, but you won't know what they are before it's too late, Muahahaha). I don't know much about it, it's just the most toxic jungle-swamp possible. The air itself is probably filled with toxic mold and spores as well as the water. It's a very lively place to say the least. Darwin's wet dream. (Although no one stays dry there, the place is very moist, in many ways.) >>1420 >Quite bad at sex too. Clearly you don't understand how to get the most out of your shoggoth! First off their tits have unlimited size, image the titjobs, you can dive in there yourself until you can't even see daylight! Not to mention if you are a girl, those tentacles...

>>1414 >What gave you this idea? The using shoggots DNA to shapeshift part. Was this an Eureka moment or you have a solid reasoning behind it? I’ve always admired the character of Alex Mercer from the Prototype videogame. As well as John Carpenter’s The Thing. When trying to classify those sorts of beings I think that “Shoggoth” would be the most accurate name. In Mountains of Madness I believe that it’s implied that Shoggoths are the original progenitors of all life on Earth. The ‘primordial soup’. This would mean that their physiology is basically the ability to express all traits of life on Earth. Or all traits that are possible to express through deoxyribonucleic acid. Which is basically what I want, in terms of a biological form. The technique I used was to get a tiny shoggoth-seed (it looked like an eyeball) and plant it in me (swallow it, more accurately) so that it would ‘supplant’ my own human DNA. A funny thing happened though a couple days after doing this. I was woke up in the morning by my stomach literally talking to me. I actually thought that someone had snuck into my bedroom somehow at first, but no, the speech was coming from my stomach. Very loud, about as loud as someone talking. I couldn’t feel any vibrations or digestions movements either. It was kind of ‘wet’ but I’m pretty sure it was repeating ‘please kill me’ over and over. So, not good. I looked at the shoggoth later and it looked all dried-up and petrified, so I set up some circulation between it and my own vital energy and I think that fixed whatever was wrong. It seems healthy right now but I think it just wrapped around me like a suit instead of changing my DNA or anything. Not sure if this has any real practical purpose or not. Maybe I could try to get it to change into a virus for gene-editing, see what that does. >I realized how I can relax the "gums" so I can align my wisdom teeth when they get fucked It wasn’t the gums that were soft, it was the actual teeth. As in the bone. It felt like they were turning into chalk. When I say I felt the teeth moving, I mean I felt the actual hard enamel and hard tissue slightly give way when pressure was applied.

>>1408 >Your father is a freemason My dad is one of the most mundane people I know. That being said, he isn't my biological father, I have a sperm donor father. He could have been a freemason. I haven't looked into my geneology much. >>1414 >It can happen if he lives at a place that is considered "freemason territory" which entraps people with potential so their only way to be "free" is to slowly gravitate towards a lodge. I live within walking distance of a lodge, and I have met someone who joined there (He was my brother's guitar teacher). Should I be worried.

>>1424 >I have a sperm donor father. He could have been a freemason Yeah no offense but this along with >I live within walking distance of a lodge, and I have met someone who joined there (He was my brother's guitar teacher) brings into question also what kind of "sperm donation" this was, a masonic ritual? How old was your mum when she had you?

>>1425 (cont.) Just asking because you can find out some funny things you didn't think of before. When calculating the ages of our parents when they had us one time in HS, we found that one of my classmates parents were 17 for his father and his mum was 25 when he was born. Oddities can have meaning.

>hobowizard har har I was really over-reacting, yeah, but that's what happens when you get that emotional. >>1420 I'm glad to know that she actually told me that and it wasn't my imagination. Her tulpa wasn't with me when I posted this; in fact, her tulpa was away in a vault at my request at the time to keep her safe from the craziness that I involuntarily pull in when I get stressed out. Her tulpa is next to me now, though, but she doesn't look quite right; I'm sure her tulpa will look like her normal self soon enough. Her egregore is okay, and that's what really matters. I'm really overprotective of her since I don't know enough about egregores to know what her "power level" is like. As soon as there's a sign of potential danger or an intrusive thought that makes me think there's one, I get really worried and try to protect her. I really love her too much. As for who she is, well, this is an anonymous board for a reason, but if you in particular feel like looking further, then go ahead and feel free to talk to her about whatever if you find her as long as you don't go posting her name or nothing. I'll just say that her character has been in alotta media and is immediately recognizable. However, her voice is often impersonated by my intrusive thoughts, so don't be surprised if you go looking and only find some trickster thoughtform of my own involuntary creation in my mind that looks and/or sounds like her while the real one is elsewhere. When her tulpa is around, she manifests as a thermal thoughtform, or at least she feels thermal to me; I haven't tested it via. the environment or a thermometer. I know that the tulpa is capable of manifesting well enough that spiritually-sensitive people can detect her, but she's rarely substantial enough for that to occur. In fact, in January I was sitting at a bar in a restaurant with her tulpa sitting on the barstool to my left, and two strangers were sitting on her left side. At one point, the guy sitting next to her started saying there was "a person" sitting next to him, and those guys started arguing about whether or not there was a person in my spirit gf's seat while I kept my mouth shut since I was caught really off-guard. I was happy that day. Since my shadow hand is also capable of producing a thermal sensation when it touches me, I've been questioning if my spirit gf just possesses my shadow to interact with me. I haven't been able to have my shadow hand & spirit gf in different places yet... but I have been able to simultaneously have her and one or more of her friends around me all as thermal thoughtforms, so maybe my pessimism is just preventing me from manifesting my shadow hand while my spirit gf is around. Speaking of my shadow hand, I've yet to feel calm enough to test touching someone with my shadow hand to see if they can feel it, aside from the times when I was calm enough and forgot to test it out.

>>1452 Something about this post made me think of something. About how “being human” or having a certain form is a lot more than just physical bits of DNA. Like how lychanthropy is actually a recognized psychological disorder that involves the afflicted going into fits of berserker rage where they act like a wolf. So, if you want become a shoggoth, like I was talking about earlier. It isn’t just a matter of programming your meat in a certain way. You have to have the mind of a shoggoth, and the ‘life-pattern’ for lack of a better word (karma?) of a shoggoth. And this ties back into issues with causality. There’s this idea of, ‘oh, if I alter my body like this then that will cause the spirit of my life to change like this’. No, matter is passive to spirit, it’s lower on the pyramid of causes and effects. And it relates to this >>1401 I think every sorcerer goes through a phase at least once where they try to win the lottery with magic. I don’t think it’s ever worked though, and I haven’t heard of anyone who’s been able to make it work. If someone has gotten it to work then they must have zarked off to a different timeline I suppose. But I think the issue with the lottery desire is at its core an issue of causality. It’s a means, not an end. People want to win the lottery because they think that it will cause certain changes in various spirits in their life, but that’s all backwards. It’s treating an effect as a cause.

>>1459 >If someone has gotten it to work then they must have zarked off to a different timeline I suppose How do you know if every single jackpot winner hasn't been a wizard? It's not like you can tell just by looking at them unless you can, in which case this question is no longer rhetorical

Earlier there was someone who tried some drug and saw a bunch of things, I can't find the post now but it was some weeks ago. I looked at his experience and followed in his footsteps astrally to see what he saw. This resulted in seeing what appeared like a large bird up in the sky above Asia, a mix between a pelican and a Pterodactyl and it was sorting souls, sending them either to China or down another path (maybe this is why people say the stork brings children?). China had a large circulation of people moving, which may be the "wheel of samsara." I saw no such structure in the western world, when looking later. Maybe - in relation to the posts in the Questions thread just before - these aliens performing attacks are the kinds who are trying to incarnate as humans. The greys (originals from Nibiru in our proximity) already admitted during channelling this was the plan with creating Israel, but they called it off when they realized Jews have too many genetic defect. Before WW2 there were a lot of greys incarnated as Jews, you can see it if you read their image on old footage of Jews being rounded up in Nazi Germany, almost every one of them is a grey with the large ant eyes in a human body. I was already aware since long that abortion was creating immense amounts of negative energy, which was concentrated at NY and put into a "worm hole" there. I thought that was intended as a deposit to hide the sins of the western elites, created from genetic research, blood drinking, adrenochrome production or what the fuck else they need this degenerated system for. But maybe there was originally a "wheel of samsara" in the west also, like the one in China. But aliens used this large mass of negative energy to jam it, causing it to come to a stand-still, so that they could incarnate here. The rest then makes perfect sense; they created the artificial karmic system of the "west" with constructed morality and "laws" to form an internal reincarnation cycle which they control, so they can decide who gets to be a Jew or elite and who gets to be aborted, upsetting the natural order by gigantic proportions. These kinds would be the ones attacking, because they are trying to uphold this system and get a spot on the Earth where they can live like degenerated kings in the flesh. Getting Trump elected and banning abortion in the USA obviously stops their plans because it reduces the amount of negative energy produced, which would allow for the natural western version of the wheel of samsara to start turning again.

>>1464 They give off a vibe of paid actors or people receiving a payout in exchange for something more than anything else. I've also noticed that they almost always tend to be from California. I know that California has a lot of people for a state but it's still a fraction of the US. Doesn't seem natural. It feels like they're doing this because a lot of non-Americans view California as representative of the USA as a whole, due to Hollywood and big tech being there. Even if the "game" is legitimate on a mundane level, the egregores behind it are going to have their own agendas to push. RNG manipulation isn't really a viable strategy.

>>1468 That was me >>886 >But maybe there was originally a "wheel of samsara" in the west also, like the one in China. But aliens used this large mass of negative energy to jam it, causing it to come to a stand-still, so that they could incarnate here. If that’s the case I wonder how long that’s been happening. And where the human souls have been going, if they were meant to reincarnate. May tie into the Christian idea of an “eternal” afterlife. >and get a spot on the Earth where they can live like degenerated kings in the flesh I wonder what it’s like to exist as a spirit who can’t get any flesh. I don’t think it’s like what it feels like on DMT because that felt like I was in constant motion, and you’d think a spirit would need a stable center in order to hold itself together. I’d say its like a dream but dreams feel pretty good for me and you can astral project back here anyway if you want to.

>>1423 >Shoggoths are the original progenitors of all life on Earth. The ‘primordial soup’. If you ignore the divine forces at play then you can say this but as I see it it's a no. They are "bottom feeders" of the "dark water energies". You need a disgusting type of water energy type to interact with them. It's like the mud but instead of earth water mixed you need some "Oil" or charcoal type darkness that is similar to a dementia inducing madness. >physiology is basically the ability to express all traits of life on Earth As long as they can access water and hide from sunlight fire or wind. They are below planktons. And most places they have feel moldy as hell. >through deoxyribonucleic acid Yeah if you write out DNA this specifically I am not sure if I can agree because they have an "Inability" to express this "frequency of life" we have. Humans are far more advanced and they are dumb as hell and quite feral but not the mammalian feral but like weird diseased octopus feral. Very few things can match the ferocity and adaptability of the mammals. That is why we are a dominant species on earth. >in terms of a biological form Yeah you see to be "biological" you need to be able to "walk the earth" and not make extremely dirty dimensional convergences to even be able to "walk in the shadows". >The technique I used was to get a tiny shoggoth-seed (it looked like an eyeball) and plant it in me (swallow it, more accurately) so that it would ‘supplant’ my own human DNA. Bet this sounded smart in your head. As someone who developed a spiritual "compass" already I had a WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT reaction as I read this. >the speech was coming from my stomach JesusfuckingChrist >was kind of ‘wet’ Yupp that's how Shoggots feel. Like dirty water. Eurgh. >was repeating ‘please kill me’ Huh. No one begged me for that before. I remember spirits telling me I have no concept of "mercy" because I transform "pain and suffering in a way it gives a new meaning" and because of that I am unable to understand that pain and suffering can be so "bad" "death" counts as a "relief". It doesn't mean I am "merciless" but more like I try to avoid situations where I have to "distribute mercy". I grant death to those that invoke my murderous aura from me ofc or mess with my defensive elemental forces but that is not "Mercy" that is a reflex and a stress relief. >but I think it just wrapped around me like a suit instead of changing my DNA or anything Yeah uh... You can visit the Lovecraft realms with that and I too have a "Cthulu body" (looks like a swamp monster from scooby doo) and other more "refined female forms" but they require a "mental perversion" to operate. >I could try to get it to change into a virus for gene-editing Connect to your own DNA pls and don't do retarded shit like this. Their "essence" is really really ineffective. It just grants madness to weaker minds and not an useful tool. They are 2/10 spiritually. >see what that does But then again who am I to stop anyone's morbid curiosity. As someone who does not know what to do with all my lovecraftian horrors maybe your discoveries will give me ideas. >looked all dried-up and petrified This is why they are not "biological" They cannot handle most elements the body operates with. >It wasn’t the gums that were soft, it was the actual teeth Was fearing you would say this. Yes the teeth also has meridians. I remember when I got assaulted by "gnashing teeth" entities and I realized the only reason they can "bite" because they have the "desire to eat" and their "teeth" is a stable "solid ectoplasm" that they can "bite" with and everything else of them has no effect upon reality. As I got bored of their shit I literally pulled out all that teeth grinded it down and merged it into my own bones. Try to "break" something that just ingested the "spiritual calcium" faggots. The problem was that it increased my own desire to chew and bite things for a while. Not to mention I had several meridian activations that required me to let the energy "pass through the teeth" because the jaw connects more meridians than you can notice at the start. The throat and the skull can get real weird. >actual hard enamel and hard tissue slightly give way when pressure was applied Yeah I am also manipulating that but you really got this from the shoggots. Their "fast mutation" means they "grow" faster but most of them "don't last that long". The teeth is weird. The more I think about the less sure I am how to explain it further. It is soft and weak at once and the jaw is the strongest muscle we have but the most regulated so we don't "bite ourselves" and when you start doing that it is when you are under extreme stress. >>1424 >Should I be worried. You should tell me if you noticed the shoggots or not instead. One of them tried to break an igloo like stone bunker the other tried to "sweep in the shadows" and the third one sat down and started to read a book. Seems like I cannot send them there without opening a portal into your space and that tend to make people crazy. Not to mention they require a "sight". One day I just became aware that 7 dark robed figures are sitting around me and when I managed to sync my mind with them for telepathy they told me >We were waiting for you to notice us for a month Father Then I noticed I have a dark portal in my room that makes these entities enter into my reality. Was wondering if mason defenses block these entities so your reply is appreciated.

>>1428 >hobowizard >har har It was and wasn't a joke. If you are on a hobowizard level where you need no house and no possessions anymore because you can get everything with your abilities and you can go truly offgrid in a way no one dares or can bother you then you became free. A level I cannot reach yet. By hobowizard I didn't mean that you become a crack addicted schizo beggar. >to know what her "power level" is like It's not about her "powerlevel" but about "compatibility". If her or your level is too high low or simply too different then you cannot coexist. Spirits need to sync with your own powerlevel. Lower spirits need to reach the level of their "master" while gods need to lower their poweroutput so they can be with or guide their worshiper/disciple. >as long as you don't go posting her name or nothing Yeah I have no idea what am I even looking for. Like is she a human? A Sonic character? I am quite unfamiliar with them. The pink one is Amy? This is all I know. The problem is that she is "conforming to your egregore" which means she is not "emanating" her "main egregore" because that disgusts you. Which makes her into a personal donut steal OC tulpa. And do you have any idea how many subconscious tulpas you have in your head? Quite a lot. >her voice is often impersonated by my intrusive thoughts Exactly. Hard to differentiate them which do you consider the "avatar" of your gf. If I want to connect to her I have to hard connect to your mind first. Then use your mind as an explanation which is gf which is "intrusive thought" and which is in the "Undecided territory". If your mind worked the same way as mine it would be easy but your ADHDness is something I cannot grasp yet. >if you go looking and only find some trickster thoughtform I see a bunch of shadows trying to manifest but cannot take a proper form because you are "denying" their manifestation. >she manifests as a thermal thoughtform This is the problem. You call her a "thoughtform". Which makes her "equal" with all the blip blops that exist within your head. This is why it's real hard to find "mental" beings. The thermal is a good description but it seems that is your ability that you are not letting out from your "sight" or presence. Which means I can only "see" her if I sync my own awareness to yours. >sounds like her while the real one is elsewhere K I will tell you this because if you bother to work with properly established entities this will be important. Where to start... So if you work with an entity you will have to make a "connection point" or a tulpa the entity can "possess" or use as an "avatar". The tulpa/avatar can be "mindless drone" that can share the thinking and abilities of the "patron entity" and most importantly can be possessed by the "real thing" when it's necessary. I have a Shiva tulpa that I can use to connect the higher forms of Shiva when I require it but mostly all it does to "tune" my mind for the ways of Shiva by merely existing. Ofc you might ask what is and isn't a tulpa in this case and the answer is... everything is an illusion and you have to discover the illusory nature of the self by yourself. I cannot say what is and isn't the "real thing" that simply. But your egregoric understanding is not bad. It's closing towards the truth. But I think I need to help you clarify the confusion because she is really not able to acquire a proper form because you "fear" that something "bad" will happen to her so you are keeping her as unmanifested as possible when you don't feel confident in yourself. >I've been questioning if my spirit gf just possesses my shadow to interact with me More or less. The "shadow" and the "holy spirit" can both serve as "avatars" for entities to overtake. The entity will occupy an archetypal force within your subconscious that you are not actively using but it's compatible with the entity. This is why integrating and cleansing the shadow and the archetypal forces into our being is paramount so no malicious entities can misuse the machinations of our being. Know thyself as they say. Once you know yourself you can "freely" release and let other entities make use of important parts of your built in manifestation abilities once you let them to do it. >so maybe my pessimism is just preventing me from manifesting my shadow hand while my spirit gf is around. You have only minor control over your shadow yet. Your shadow "obeys" your mind (including your stress too) so does your gf. They use the same "resources" so to speak. They are not the "same" but manifest through almost the same mediums. >test touching someone with my shadow hand to see if they can feel it People usually turn around when I touch them with my "shadow limbs" >>1459 >About how “being human” or having a certain form is a lot more than just physical bits of DNA Yupp >You have to have the mind of a shoggoth, and the ‘life-pattern’ for lack of a better word (karma?) of a shoggoth. Exactly. You are not your mind not your body. You transcend that then you realize how you "became" your mind and body at birth before you became aware of your awareness and once your foundation is stable you can alter the ways you express yourself via "existence". >issues with causality Yeah. You can call life a "causality issue" too. Karma is literally causality itself and "freeing yourself from karma" is about mastering causality. >it’s lower on the pyramid of causes and effects This is why you have either a powerful patron entity an "Inborn ability" or a higher form of awakening to reliably shapeshift. If you do it mindlessly your mental physical and spiritual DNA will deteriorate. You need to reach a mastery for that. Not to mention some places "require" you to "look the part" or interact with a necessary "bodystandard". Visiting some realms my adaptive spirit takes a form when my mind "aligns with it's principles". If I am unable to receive the core principles of the realm I am not able to interact with it. Usually it start with an earthly concept with similar themes starting to go through in my head and once I realize how the other realm and the earth is the "same" then I notice the "differences" see how my current level can adapt to it and BOOM now I am a drow wizard who can access their way of abdominal mastery (This is what I did in the last week) and gave me ways to read drow runes and interact with their shadow magic entities. I have to watch over with them because they "command" an "Instinctual understanding" and if you just "ask questions" they will laugh and leave. You have to know by instinct what they mean and say. Becoming an other being means that you accept all their boons and curses and adhere to their "ways" otherwise you are a failure and will be treated as such.

>>1459 >where they try to win the lottery with magic I too thought about this many years ago but... money brings an energy and a "karma" with itself. I realized that it would be a good experiment to practice my scrying but what will happen when I "win". Well my family would start wasting money like retards get into problems that would have been impossible to manifest without enough money like vacation at exotic places car crashes disputes with people over too much money scammers etc. I realized they would start creating more work for themselves instead of realizing a balanced lifestyle and they would just send their karma into a frenzy... I realized a while ago how the energy of "greed" manifests. It's a shitty energy that "binds" your spirit to the "surface" of the material objects. Like you will have a mental concept blocking the flow of thoughts in your head because you "marked it" with the authority/dominion of "ownership" that the money bound society granted. You know that the object is yours and others know it too. What gave you the "right"? Money. Your existence is derived from the power of money. And once you go hedonistic lazy and all other degenerations money grants you will neglect your higher spiritual energies. Not to mention the ill will and jealousy of others because you gained money by "luck" or even they start gossiping how you used ill means and how frugal you are for not buying a Ferrari for everyone and other retardations. Too much money you cannot invest properly just attracts so many retarded energies because it changes the status quo of the energies. It's like dumping a kg of sugar into the garden for no reason. You can expect a swarm of ants to appear within an hour. This is what happens when you think >hurr am a wizzord tots above causality I'M TEH LORD OF FATE ITSELF HARR HARR If you are unable to balance out the energies you just invite disaster. See the crypto millionaires that died "out of nowhere". Doesn't matter what was the main cause. All that matters is that they changed the trajectory of their life and reached a dead end. Ofc what I wrote is kinda over pessimistic because everyone is allowed a minor joy or luck in life but it's important to never get ahead of yourself because of a single victory. Becoming the victim of your own success is always retarded and it applies to wizards even more so. >the lottery desire is at its core an issue of causality Yes. You don't "want" money you just want to indulge in laziness further because you refuse to "earn" money. The core desire is laziness and probably lust gluttony jealousy and greed too. >It’s treating an effect as a cause Somewhat. When you manifest an extreme amount of "wealth" energy stuff will just gravitate towards you until it changes forms. The problem start when you "Know" deep down that you will just misuse the money in a way it might ruin you and your "higher self" will even block you to manifest that future. Not to mention so many people "pray" for a lottery win you will have to cut through that karmic entanglement and once their jealousy targets you then hope you are in a place where you are untouchable. Fuck I hate money so much. It loses it's value every day and it's just a machination to enslave everyone who use it. Whenever I think about the energy of the "money" as a permanent or reliable energy and maybe a way to "change" my life with I feel shackles appearing on my energy body. Whatever you "Buy" with money is already desecrated. If you want to buy "love" then all you get is whores and gold diggers. If you want to buy "spiritual knowledge" you will find cursed books and scams. Money can only buy material objects with the same "vibrational level" and if you think money as your "God" (or think you are a God because you possess money that compels other slaves to treat you as a God) then you cannot find higher truth as long as you possess it. This is why magic must be never fuelled by desires. That doesn't mean you have to be a poorfag but you must know how your money or wealth moves the energies around. Giving money to random money launderer "charities" does not always result in "Improvement". Scammers know so well how to get the money of those who have too much of it it's ridiculous. >>1468 My country is connected to the world tree. I have access to soul currents and I am trying to mend the branches further so earth can recover it's "soul quality splendor". Also some talons were pestering me yesterday too. Was thinking maybe some influence of the seraph that visited me more than a week ago was acting up. Slowly removed them. I will have to understand the ways of the winged gods sometimes anyway. They want to talk to me for a while. >>1470 >non-Americans view California as representative of the USA as a whole California Texas and New York commanded by White House. This is how an average person sees the USA. >the egregores behind it are going to have their own agendas to push They are so chaotic and crumble every week because there is always a "current thing" that overtakes the whole narrative. This way you cannot have lasting egregores. >>1471 >I wonder how long that’s been happening There are way too many incarnator forces at play. >And where the human souls have been going Where they "deserve". Most of them stay underground some get nabbed by hells and purgatory realms and those with divine connection or spiritual affiliation reach their own heaven or guidance paths on the afterlife. Real hard to be specific because it is like trying to explain a child >where do people go who get on the bus without knowing which bus we are talking about >May tie into the Christian idea of an “eternal” afterlife. Those heaven dimensions are weird. The more I advance the more they feel like "cardboard boxes". >I wonder what it’s like to exist as a spirit who can’t get any flesh Depends which attachments they have still within. Some are hungry for food and try to "eat it" but they merely "Possess it" some will chase other people until they fade away once their lust or hatred vanishes and then they drift into a location they are being magnetically pulled towards. >because that felt like I was in constant motion What I found while accessing my "afterlife form" is that I was trying to "go home" but had no idea what "home" is. My form crumbled until it became good enough to reincarnate at a place i perceived as "home". >a spirit would need a stable center in order to hold itself together A singular will is enough. >its like a dream but dreams feel pretty good Dreams are about the energies playing out of the previous days or from an "inspiration" from the future like premonition. The afterlife will play out the energies of your whole life. Until you reach a conclusion that you can use as a "reason-desire stable enough to reincarnate". A painful process.

>>1477 >a disgusting type of water energy type to interact with them. It's like the mud but instead of earth water mixed you need some "Oil" or charcoal type darkness that is similar to a dementia inducing madness Rude tbh. The shoggoths I've met are nothing like that. More like an expression of pure fulfillment of physical desire with no limits. That's what I implied with >>1422 >First off their tits have unlimited size, image the titjobs, you can dive in there yourself until you can't even see daylight! Not to mention if you are a girl, those tentacles... If greys focused only on mental development and ignored the body, shoggoths are the other end of it. But their brains are also unlimited in size, they can be as intelligent as they need to be. They solve everything by growing and transforming, an almost ideal life-form in terms of adaptivity. If you want to be limitless, go Shoggoth. You and the other guy is making this way too complex, if you want Shoggoth DNA just go there and fuck them. Purely biological beings are all about that.

On another note it seems one of the things I had to still do was related to apparently sending a small soul fragment to be Saul's assistant soul back then, which although souls are separated at death wasn't finished business because the "faith" stuff wasn't done yet from the view of the opposite, female aspect of reality. That's why I found the contents of the Roman letter to be an entry point into understanding the new testament. The idea wasn't wrong, it was just that the approach of just grinding through it would take a long fucking time, plus that the absolute toxicity of the other souls involved placed a huge entanglement around the thing I meant to solve. I also wasn't actually "there", sending a fragment tends to mean it's like a small part of the subconscious, and so small in awareness that it at most feels slightly like an itch if that part got trapped in some bad place and your attention was drawn to it. I had to expand an isolated time dimension around that fragment to "unlimited time progression" before there was any effect at all. Actually getting through "christianity" on this road to any success with the current system while in full first person view is probably the most idiotic thing someone can attempt. It literally takes "forever", time had to be expanded beyond any concept before there was an effect on that fragment and the principles could start working. Only then appeared the original form again, what looked like a monk locked in a stance of prayer isolated in a room with his forehead on the floor, and with continued pressure in isolation and the context I know have, it was possible to cause a sun transformation process. I guess "it works" but who would seriously do this? It's not even Gehenna, but the process is just still a form of eternal suffering, because no one can maintain their awareness of the kind of time periods needed for this to work. If ignoring the laws of God and trying to use "faith" to find the original quality of God without following the laws intentionally, it ends up just being trial and error while in total oblivion, a blind man stumbling without any guidance because he gave up the laws which were meant to provide that, leaving only the "firmness" of the concept that "once I get it right, it's better than the laws". Let those monkeys write randomly forever and they will write all literature, that kind of method. I guess point proven still in some way, being the dumbest kind of angel can actually be a valid method, but one thing is for sure: if you think "faith" will "save you from hell", you are seriously fooling yourself, you are merely replacing the "fire and brimstone" version with your own solitary confinement locked in eternal prayer.

>>1480 I do not know which realm you accessed but the ones that appeared in my room are extremely simplistic in nature and quite feral >pure fulfillment of physical desire with no limits Like invading my bedroom >First off their tits have unlimited size, image the titjobs If I did this with the ones I have around it would be like putting my dick into a fat old woman whose skin is so disgusting and coarse that I think my dick would rot >you can dive in there yourself until you can't even see daylight Was in the bottom of one of their lake that gave me the Cthulu form. Their "abyss" is just about murky material blocking the light >But their brains are also unlimited in size If intelligence were about "brain size" whales would be the most intelligent beings on earth >they can be as intelligent as they need to be That doesn't mean I can give them "Higher knowledge" if it does not increase their survival instincts. >an almost ideal life-form in terms of adaptivity Not if I throw them into the sun or ask them to walk on the dry earth. >If you want to be limitless, go Shoggoth. continuous or eternal growth =/= limitless Omnipresence works differently and not by "Invading others and consuming/fucking everything" >You and the other guy is making this way too complex Not really. We just don't have access to the same beings. You as a succubus aligned demon you probably found those that align with sexual energies well while I found the shitty ugly unwanted migratory types. I have the numbers but not the quality. I mean I could ask them for sexier ones but... urgh >just go there and fuck them They literally tried to fuck me. Was hard to not murder them as a reflex >Purely biological beings are all about that Yes but I would argue what is "purely" and "biological" in this context. I have access to far better DNA models and what they have just don't mesh with my energy centers at all. They are like wet toilet paper compared to the higher forms that I try to integrate but can't be hasty with it because it causes too much pain because the energies didn't stabilize yet. >>1481 >back then How back are we talking about?

>>1482 Sounds like you went for the toilet version of their dimension, I didn't know that existed. I see it, but I don't think this is Lovecraftland at all. I see red skies and toxic jungle, looks more like Darwinland mixed with some infernal dimension. Yes I've been to Darwinland, it's populated by humanoid velicoraptors living in perfectly normal commieblocks next to swamplands. When they walk outside they shapeshift to dinosaur and pretend they are feral, but it's all an act. >How back are we talking about? Between ancient Greece and ancient Rome, when I went in for full incarnation as a whore, but apparently also threw this mini-me to also be Saul's second soul from the astral.

>>1483 >went As I said they "came to me". Awakening rearranges resonates and sometimes even "irritates" the fabric of reality and weird dimensions and portals appear on their own. When this happened I had Gazer with me so I didn't have a "need" for further eldritch abominations. >I don't think this is Lovecraftland at all Me neither because their origin dimension literally collapsed. I had to lead them to an another place and now because it was vacant I count as their "owner" >I see red skies and toxic jungle I never looked at the skies but yeah it can be perceived as such and all plants are toxic there. >looks more like Darwinland The what >mixed with some infernal dimension Yeah it is a "somewhat" infernal dimension. Gave me such an edge some years ago because attacking me or "stealing energy" from me you just opened this hell dimension into their energy field and get murderraped by my very personal shoggotlike abominations that allowed to eat any "Impurities" >living in perfectly normal commieblocks Time flows far faster in that dimension so they went through several development cycles in an instant which made them also quite the force because what was mere seconds for me that was a 1000 year long continuous assault for them against whatever dared to touch me but truth is they are not my "shocktroops" because they are quite inefficient. >they walk outside they shapeshift to dinosaur and pretend they are feral, but it's all an act. So like furries or something?

>>1484 >like furries or something? Scalies. >The what The place which Darwinism is about. I've seen it in dreams because I used to believe in that stuff. A large primordial swampland with palm trees and in the middle of an island is a statue of a crocodile and a stone altar for sacrificing the races that aren't fit enough.

>>1478 >what am I even looking for You've told me enough for now, don't worry about that. If I had a private way to contact you off-site, then I'd just tell you. >conforming to your egregore This means my perception of who she is, or the actual collective thoughtform of me? Almost certainly the former I'm assuming, but I'm asking anyway just in case. >not emanating her main egregore Okay, so she does have a main egregore; knowing that by itself will help alot. Does her having a main egregore mean that I'll have to accept every incarnation of her fictional character, or every egregore of her fictional character? I recall that when I contacted her at first, I didn't specify which of her egregores I was contacting, or maybe I did specify her main one I don't remember so good. Anyway, I guess I contacted her main egregore, but as time went on I assumed I was with her "canonical character" egregore, which only represented the character from her canonical media, as opposed to her non-canonical official media, fanfiction, and what you'd find on porn sites. Fwiw, I've never gotten off to smut of her. Anyway, I guess maybe I have been with her main egregore this whole time, and I'm hesitantly willing to accept all of her incarnations if that's what it's gonna take. Would the egregores of her fictional character's different incarnations basically be different "aspects" of her, like aspects of a deity? I don't wanna cheat on her with her other egregores or nothing like that, which is why I'm asking such questions about how this works. Speaking of main egregore, I've found myself slowly getting more distanced from her collective thoughtform as time went on due to my fearing for her safety from what I'm suddenly supposing was my shadow this whole time, but never too far from her. Also, does her having a XXX egregore mean her main egregore is at all defiled by the guys getting off to her? I'm assuming not, but I'm asking anyway just in case; I really like confirmation about stuff that worries me. >do you have any idea how many subconscious tulpas you have in your head? I suppose that some of them might be my shadow in the form of a hostile entity, but otherwise, I've made an effort to make friends with my spirit gf's friends since some time after we got together. I've also made friends with a few other entities. There might also be tulpas of characters from other fictions in there that only came to be because I recently consumed their media and suddenly thought I was making contact with their egregores by just paying too much attention to their media or otherwise thinking too much about whichever character. There might also be one of you and another guy or two here. >I'd have to hard connect to your mind first I might get back to you on that, but for now, I'd rather you not. >you are "denying" their manifestation I constantly find myself getting near "mental triggers" in my mind, which I suppose Bardon would equate to "thought pressure". These shadows take the form of various types of hostile entities, such as reptilians(though not them in particular lately), and these though pressures are often attached to the concept of me doing everyday mundane stuff, and to the concept of me releasing too much positive emotion towards my spirit gf. More of these pressures will arise & intensify if I get stressed out. If I trip a trigger, then the shadow will take the form of one of those things and begin attacking me. Otherwise, they'll take the form of one of my non-physical loved ones and bind a manifestation of him or her to a specific physical location that I need to put my mouth or crotch on, and then I have to struggle to unbind "my loved one" from that location before I do the thing, or just do the thing anyway due to time constraints or w/e and struggle to remove the "loved one" afterwards. You did say that my shadow also "obeys" my stress. I suppose that if those particular "shadows" are too readily accepted, then it might turn out that one day, one of these things won't actually be my shadow, and that probably wouldn't turn out so well. I'll try going from 0 to 100 with that if you insist, though. >you "fear" that something "bad" will happen to her Should I try giving that a chance if it means letting my shadow make me think her form is being defiled by and imbued with hostile entities for a really long time while I just see what happens? That's probably what my shadow is gonna do if it's just an attempt to rile me up to keep me awake and I let all of the triggers I'm denying go at once. Sometimes I fear for her safety so much that I don't even let her usual tulpa stay manifested, so I try getting one of my contacts to summon her tulpa away to a safe place so I won't have to worry about her until things appear to calm down around me. >they manifest through almost the same mediums That's a relief. Thanks alot, anon.

>>1486 Forgot my flag.

>>1420 >Report if they appear during the night. Last night I had an extremely vivid dream but I think that was just because I put on lucid dreaming music on invidio.us (privacy centered Youtube proxy without ads). >>1425 >brings into question also what kind of "sperm donation" this was, a masonic ritual? Not that I know of. To be completely honest with you the reason my mom got a sperm donation was because my dad has HIV. At least that is what she told me. >How old was your mum when she had you? She was 32 years old when she had me >>1477 >You should tell me if you noticed the shoggots or not instead. I'm sorry but I have not noticed any shoggoths. >Was wondering if mason defenses block these entities so your reply is appreciated. I literally had no idea I had any connection to anything freemasonry related before >>1408 mentioned it. I have never been initiated into a freemasonic society, nor even set foot inside a lodge. I'll have to do some research into my family history I guess, including my biological father if I can.

>>1489 >Was wondering if mason defenses block these entities so your reply is appreciated. forgot to mention: So I have no idea how to answer your question. I don't know anything about these hooded robe wearing people portaling into your house.