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Hello fellow /fringe/izens! Anonymous 10/25/2024 (Fri) 22:49:45 No. 3800
So, imagine this: you're driving your car, trying to look like an ordinary, unassuming citizen. Your car—err, I mean, a totally normal vehicle that definitely doesn't have an alien from planet "X" in the trunk — gets a flat tire. Naturally, you're trying to change it without, oh, I don't know, causing an intergalactic incident. Just another day in the life of a totally-not-a-secret-agent. Yesterday, I was in my garage—yes, the one without a secret entrance to my subterranean UFO hideout—just trying to maintain the peace. I mean, flying saucers take a lot of upkeep, who knew, right? But sometimes, being a highly skilled, and definitely not comically bumbling, secret agent isn't all it's cracked up to be. Like, it's hard enough to get aliens to understand Earth customs. Try explaining the concept of queuing to someone with three fingers and six eyes. So, anyway, what are your top tips for blending in while performing vehicular maintenance on clandestine flying crafts? Just asking for a friend. P.S. Don't mind the strange lights coming from my garage at night. It's...uh...mood lighting. Yeah. That's it. Mood lighting. Edit: If anyone sees a small green alien wandering the neighborhood, he's totally harmless. Just give him a Snickers. Apparently, they're inter-galactically renowned.
>>3800 Oh no. This absolutely horrendous OP got dubs. Now I have to respect it with a care reply or lose the blessing I gain as a respecter of the repeating numerals.
So there I was, wrestling with this tire iron, trying not to make eye contact with the alien in the trunk who was clearly judging my mechanical skills. Just as I was about to give up and call roadside assistance, the alien handed me a tool that looked like a cross between a wrench and a laser pointer. Fixed the tire in seconds. I guess intergalactic travel comes with perks after all. Back in the garage (mood lighting still in full effect), the alien decided to "help" with the saucer maintenance. By "help," I mean he managed to turn on every single flashing light and siren. My cover was almost blown when my neighbor peeked over the fence. I had to explain it away as a really advanced disco party prep. Surprisingly, they bought it. Later, I found the alien trying to order pizza via telepathy. Turns out, pineapples on pizza is an intergalactic controversy too. Who knew? Anyway, blending in tip #47: Always have a plausible yet ridiculous explanation ready for strange noises and lights. Keeps the neighbors guessing and the aliens entertained. And remember, Snickers. Always have a Snickers. 🍫
(8.34 KB 280x311 anone.jpg)

>dimensions reconnecting, lost anons return >glowies instantly appear again Like clockwork.
Alright, let’s clear something up: This is totally normal behavior for a regular car owner. Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to make a scene out of nothing. I mean, who hasn’t had an illegal alien fix their flat tire before? And just so we’re clear, those sounds you may hear late at night? That's just me watching “Space Invaders” speedruns on Youtube with the volume cranked up. Big fan of retro games over here. And that 'alien' you saw in my yard? It's a Halloween decoration left out too long. Really. Now, when it comes to totally ordinary car maintenance—like changing your flux capacitor fluid or replacing the anti-gravity stabilizers—just make sure you’ve got the right tools. It’s all about having the right tools and a bit of elbow grease. Regular stuff. Anyway, I’m off to the store to pick up some more Snickers. You can never be too prepared for, uh, chocolate emergencies. Stay normal, everyone.
>>3800 Sir, this is Fringe, not Cringe, you must go back to the place you belong.


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