SAGE in all fields. I am renouncing lust because it's impacting the health of my parents because everyone knows about my unhealthy habits and it's effecting every aspect of my life.. I can't hold a job, I've never been able to afford a studio apartment and insurance ect. I have a bad habit and it's not going away because I'm mentally ill and it feels like everyone wants me to be mentally ill but that's still no excuse for hurting myself. Fuck porn, jewesses aren't even that pretty. Holy crap, max file size is huge. Have my biggest saved image.

>>105 Here and back again. "It hurts to be alone" by the Wailing Wailers.

>>117 Bad habits are hard to break.

>>118 Besides keeping an eye on my mom and dad, I don't know what I'm doing with my life because all roads lead to "whatever, nevermind"!

>>119 This board is lonely so here's my schizo posting on celibacy. I've been cutting back on soda and fried goods; I've been getting out and about for an hour a day. My skin is soft and I feel happier. For some reason I turn to porn when I feel alone (as in alone with my thoughts.) Some guys turn to alcohol or smoking tobacco in moments like this; others read a book. I need to not turn to dopemine firing porn because my mind looks at these women and I know most of them are dead eyed or unhappy with themselves. Life is strange and I don't want to associate myself with the ghosts of these vampires. I should start going back to the library to express myself on paper like I did for those good years. Enjoy my schizo-posting please. I think journaling is helping.

>>120 I went for a five hour walk today and play a 1979 BC RICH mockingbird bass. Live is grand.

>>121 stayed in bed too long and ended up thinking lusty thoughts with morningwood. I was up at five am and went back to bed for no good reason beside comfort and now I have payed. No bueno. I can only blame myself.

>>122 >>122 I'm extremely sensitive to the things people say to me. If I am scolded for doing something wrong, I will dwell in that feeling. Or is it that getting cursed at is too much for the wrong doing? Schizo posting to the max, yo!

>>123 Went for a 4 1/2 hour walk to pick up my dad's Christmas gift and I'm having Chinese food for dinner. Ain't complaining. I still have self image issues but like knowing I eat a well balanced diet. I ain't hurting as much as I was a few months back so things are good. I thought about looking at le boobies today. Really have to turn to the bible. I thought about reading the KJV a few times today. I need to help myself. Read a book. I was also kinda on the fence about wanting pot today. I miss smoking but my life ain't going to revolve around it. Well... That would be cool. I hope I find a lady friend that smokes and knows how to put up with my sporadic negativity. My sporadic negativity is an issue...

>>125 Usual blips of lusting for the female form today. Made white man's curry and am in love. Going to wait an hourish to go for a walk. All in all a good easy day. Going to the optometrist tomorrow. Read a little american history and playing vidaya games. I should not fuck this up today

>>126 More blips of lust. I can't revert to looking a le boobas.

>>120 >This board is lonely The whole internet is lonely now. I wish I took this stuff as seriously as I do now, when I discovered /fringe/ 10 years ago. Youth is wasted on the young. >>126 >Made white man-curry Sounds like you relapsed

>>129 >Youth is wasted on the young That's the whole point. >>126 >white man's curry Share recipe.

Nice to see other people on this alternate reality 8kun fringe. I'm updating daily on my battles with lusty thoughts of le booba. Today when I felt mildly stressed I felt urges. Worst part is that I was stressed for only a moment while playing a video game I liked. My mind is still wired to the extreme dopamine release I get from le online boobas I liked to look at. I renounce being a normie God dammit! >>129 Dude, the best advice I have is that keeping a dream journal will encourage dreams. Talking about lucid dreams was always my favorite part of fringe. >>131 Poor white-man curry 2 cans of coconut milk (no preservatives) 1 can of water chestnuts 3lbs of chicken Red curry paste to taste (I have lame curry paste [hence calling it white man's curry] so 5 tablespoons) 1 1/2 tspns cheyanne pepper 1 stalk of celery 2 pounds of carrots 2 1/2 large stalks of broccoli 3 large zucchini 1 1/2 cups of bean sprouts 1/4 cup of chopped onion Served on top of Jasmine Rice ------------------------------- ^^ This recipe is very good with dried shiitake mushrooms as well.

>>134 Fucked up. Was anxious a few times today and fucked up. I'm a wreck. This is no bueno.

>>134 >Dude, the best advice I have is that keeping a dream journal will encourage dreams. Talking about lucid dreams was always my favorite part of fringe. I'd been keeping one pretty consistently until recently, when my notebook filled up. Since then I've just been recording my voice, which is far more convenient, although since storage and navigation of the recordings will almost certainly become a problem I'll have to return to writing at some point. Last night I unintentionally AP'd again. Entering my bedroom in almost complete darkness when I noticed the familiar sensation of lacking a body. What made this experience unique was the person sitting in a table chair right next to my bed, with one of his legs crossed. I struggled to identify this strange yet nonthreatening figure, first assuming it to be my Dad until I realized it was actually myself. In my history of APing I used to be deathly afraid of seeing my own reflection for whatever reason, which I overcame by staring into or embracing it at every opportunity. So, in this instance I simply leaned forward and down into it, which felt like smoothly and seamlessly slipping into a black void in which I maintained the same lucidity. Then, after a moment I just willed myself awake because black voids are still unpleasant to me, although it's got to be a perfect hub for manifesting or exploring new places.

>>134 >Poor white-man curry Very nice. Thanks. >>135 >Fucked up. Was anxious a few times today and fucked up. I'm a wreck. This is no bueno. If you learn to move energy within your body, and are used to John Kreiter's energy re-absorption techniques, know that you can use this to your advantage. As far as I've been able to tell, the hornies is misplaced energy within your body. Usually around the groin area. Move it up your spine and turn it back to the front roughly at the level of the shoulders or the heart, and back down to the abdomen, where you store it. I've managed to revert raging erections this way, something I previously thought was the point of no return. It also seems to avoid the horniness from coming back (something you will have noticed fails if you simply re-absorb the energy) as long as you remove the stimulus. Speaking of re-absorbing energy, I feel that I get hornier after absorbing energy, as if something wanted me to waste my newly acquired buffer or I had associated having energy with wasting it.

>>137 >>136 I appreciate the replies guys. I hope you guys enjoy your lives. Peace

Some days I feel like the ultra-mundane. I'm in a state of feeling uneasy in my parents home. I don't want to express myself in words around them because I don't want them to judge me for anything that's down or anything of the sexual nature. Life is fucking dumb when wageslaving. Heed my warning, never break the rules of society or the rulers of the hemisphere will fuck you.

>>149 One time I had a guy encourage me to make a band of "Wastoids". I guess that's because no one else wants to be my friend. I'm in a pissy mood because someone implied that I look like the kind of guy that might buy crack yesterday. At least I'm looking forward to Christmas ham. I hope I get to cook the ham bone down with some pinto beans because I've been craving that for a year an a half.

>>138 By the way, continuing on the topic of moving energy. It turns out you can "defuse" your libido completely with energy work. I don't recommend experimenting with this stuff, because I'm probably fucking myself up irreversibly in other areas, but anyway. At first I thought I was playing make believe, but I learnt to "disperse" the energy around my groin area, and I noticed I would not get horny for days. Perhaps I would feel like fapping, out of boredom, but then I started watching porn and I couldn't finish. I'd go limp half-way and lose interest. I got a bit worried thinking I might have become impotent for some reason, but then I remembered the energy work and I did the opposite, bringing in energy to the area and charging it up. Then I became super horny for two weeks and came until I couldn't even pee. I did the swap a few more times and now I'm convinced the effect is real. Or perhaps it's a very strong placebo. But the thing is, it works. I've gone weeks without even wanting to fap. Watching girls on chaturbate out of boredom for hours sometimes (it's strangely addicting even if you don't fap to it). Sending subliminal energy suggestions to them like that 11faustia11 guy on YouTube did with the hamsters. Anyway, I'm not sure of the side-effects this kind of thing might have, though. And I can't really explain how to do it because it's a very kinesthetic thing, like all energy work. But I thought you might want to hear the anecdote.

>>151 You're far out man. I appreciate the anecdote. INCOMING TOO MUCH INFORMATION I used to want to fap as soon as I was awake with morningwood but thats subsided. I just turn to pretty girls as a form of escaping reality. I don't feel comfortable at home, sitting at the library or my therapists office so I try to escape reality. Shit sucks, I don't know where to go all day and escape NEET life.

>>151 I find energy work and most forms of mediation to be extremely private and I don't have that privacy. So I pine.. I don't think energy work matters as much as getting out there and showing your face to the "bastards" and being kind to people. I think energy work is more important in the long run and I've never considered that path of living a long a fruitful life. It never seemed possible so I settled for private religious experience and walking meditation. I hate to say it but I think the yippies were right about always having a tune in one's mind for resistance of the mundane's path.

>>153 I don't know how I could have been depressed at all today. My mom talks to herself a lot and I find it offputting but besides that life was excellent today. I need to enjoy being with my family before it's too late. I'm very lucky to have spent this many years with my mom and dad.

Do not approach approach this as some sort of "retention". There is nothing to retain. You need to KILL your sexual libido completely. Your demiurgic vessel is designed to kill you one cumshot at a time the same way it kills women one menstruation cycle at a time. Compared to them, we have it relatively easy. Sex is inherently EVIL and ANTI-HUMAN. Yes, you read that right. Nothing farther from the puritanical parody of the wisdom that has remained in a distorted form in many Churches of contemporary religions. Sexual functions are the primary mechanism through which your spirit is enslaved to this realm and bound to manifest its horrors and wonders alike. Inflame yourself in the realization that between your legs there is a YOKE. CUT OFF YOUR DICK IF NECESSARY. If only we were all brave enough to do that. Deprive that demon that the Demiurge grafted onto your crotch any other way you dare. Learn to manipulate energy, and etherically castrate yourself so that arousal is IMPOSSIBLE. Learn self-hypnosis and tie sexual arousal to the most VILE AND GRUESOME associations, for it is where it belongs. DO NOT bury it in your shadow, though, for that way you will only succeed in creating fetishes and perversions. Display it prominently in the light of the Sun of your conscious mind: AROUSAL IS THE HISS OF THE PREDATOR ENCROACHING TO EAT YOU ALIVE. Despise it. Righteously destroy it. Mundane culture, in its constant strive to invert every value and confuse perennial wisdom, has planted the perverse seed in your subconscious that says that sex is something to "express in a healthy manner". Even as you read these words, you feel the tug of that suggestion. It is a LIE. There is nothing to "resist". You only struggle to "resist" because at some level you are conflicted. You believe that is something you should be doing, something you shouldn't go without. "That's unhealthy, right?" If you have been on the path long enough, you know almost everything you ever believed to be one way turned out to be bafflingly inverted in an impossible conspiracy spanning all of human history and society. Well, the pill of true renunciation might be the toughest pill to swallow on that path. You are not addicted. You are HYPNOTIZED. Wake up.

>>163 Hello, I was a porn addict and nowadays i continue to think a lot about sex. It destroyed my life. How do i stop that or at least revert the effects of porn?

>>197 Try reading this, I've heard it can help: https://read.easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf

>>197 This might be too advanced for what you're asking, but after a lot of searching I have not found anything less. Trauma traps our awareness, or energy, or consciousness fragments, within that experience. This is probably nothing new for most people reading this. Soul recovery or soul rescue is the process by which these fragments are reintegrated. John Kreiter's techniques, shadow work, etc., deal with this. But why is it that certain things call us to them so irresistibly? Sometimes to our detriment? Reading Self Clearing by The Pilot the answer came to me. Everything, from fetishes, to sex, to love, is a form of "trauma" for our spirit. The notion and need of having a body, of having gender, of existing in matter... Those are all energetic conditioning that our spirit acquired at some point in its journey. Sex calls to us because a fragment of our being is trapped behind the moment that we became sexed beings. Most people would not consider that a trauma, strictly speaking, but the mechanism is the same nonetheless. It's a distortion we picked up, and energy, like everything in nature, tends and strives towards equalization. The same can be said about love (agape). The natural state of consciousness is undifferentiated agape. The moment consciousness crosses a singularity into a reality of independent units, those units acquire a "trauma" and yearn forevermore to recover that which they left behind. That's why we "like" and "desire" love in all its distortions. tldr if something attracts you in a disproportionate and damaging way, you might have a very heavy energetic charge related to it. You need to clear it. Do not fixate on "beating" porn. Focus on becoming whole or whole-er.

>>197 >>210 In other words, you need to fix your relationship to porn. You need to fix it so that porn is not something you need to resist, because as long as you are resisting it, you will never be free of it. You need to recover a neutral state. Charged poles attract each other. Think about how a rape victim might become a self-destructing whore or a completely repressed prude. The charge they acquired the last time they related to rape stayed with them and exerts that attractive force, which they can surrender to (first case) or be forced to resist forever (second case). Only through integration can they be free.

>>210 Would you provide a free link to one of John Kreiter's relevant works, or at least something about Soul Recovery?

>>212 No. I won’t do you the disservice of spoon feeding you. Get your shit together.

>>210 >>211 Well said >This is probably nothing new for most people reading this True but it's always good to repeat truth via different words. It just signals to others that they are not alone with these truths and makes them aware that this is something well known for others too who walk the path. Tho I never read Kreiter's books because I figured these out while working on my energy body. It was weird learning that my fetishes were about the desire to retain different types of energy work techniques and not exactly about the desire to wallow in filth like most fetishes make people behave >>213 While what he said was mean >>212 You need to learn to put effort into fixing yourself because getting spoonfed has a side effect that you will just save the book and not read it then move on with your life. Books are not the answer but working yourself is and even if you read a book you might not get it until enough energy builds up for an 'Eureka moment'. You will need to understand the desire to work on yourself and the desire to improve... the desire of understanding what it means to be >becoming whole or whole-er. And if your element (Akasha) is not working then use libgen soulseek or different search engines jeez. It's important to learn to develop other internet skills besides looking at porn.

Back to square one. I keep hurting myself. I don't have any major stressors and my only goal is to be healthier in my living. I don't want to fuck up again.

>>378 I thinkI should point out in this thread an often overlooked but crucial part of this. Otherwise, at best, the energy you retain will just stagnate. Learn to move energy effectively, and as soon as you have an erection, move the energy up your central channel. When you reach the top of your chest, move it over to your front and down into your dan tian. If you do this correctly, your erection will go away and your penis will “retract”, as the Chinese put it. You should be able to get an erection back right as soon as you stop, and repeat the operation over and over. You will notice that it gets more difficult as you go on, until all the lust is gone. Never use porn, and never ejaculate to a fantasy. As soon as you have an erection, your attention should be 100% focused on moving the energy. And you should keep summoning your erection back until you have relocated enough energy that it won’t come back to bother you anymore. Don’t let the energy go up to your head and of course don’t ejaculate. Although it is very easy to mess up at first. Read Robert Bruce’s new energy ways and Barber’s Visceral Experience.

>>969 bumpin cuz it needs bumpin. Fapalumpagus