I've always ignored the discussion because it seemed really pointless, as though most cases where people argue about it, the loli=pedo side is just trying to get under the other side's skin.
Never really seemed like much of a genuine discussion going on.
Yet, even if there is a genuine discussion, what would I have to say about it? To me, it's a really irrelevant distinction to make. I've always had a stance along the lines of "like what you like, don't like what you don't like, who cares what the labels are?"
Some people like chubby hentai but find real fat people disgusting. Some like anime traps and can't find a real world one they'd so much as let suck their dick.
And, also, if you really get argumentative about the things people like, and say if they like X then they like Y, and they just don't feel that way, you may make them double down, get stubborn, and then one day when they start to question their tastes, they'll feel really polarized away from accepting Y.
Tastes change over time, but if they defined themselves by their opinion on a taste, they'll repress that shift.
But, people will argue, and maybe some of the insights in a discussion about the deeper psyche side of this is interesting.