>>5762 nothing (everything) but mostly the fact that I lag behind a lot in life in general people who build contacts have higher chances of success in every walk of life i don't think I can be like that ever

>>5762 my 4cm micropenis

cute cat must protecc

>>5762 this is probably the most gayest shit i have ever done. but i just cant take it anymore. these feelings are eating me up and i dont trust anyone irl to speak them out. i just want to speak them out gomenasai..... i dont like to leave the screen. because i get caught up in a lots of thoughts, mostly about her. it has been like this for 7 years. we used to talk a lot, everyday. i was too attached to her. i liked her, i liked talking to her and i liked spending time with her, although it was always online over whatsapp. after school, over the course of 2 years, we wouldve met only a handful of times, that too coincidentally. i would always end up oversharing things. she would also let me glimpse at whats happening in her life once in a while. she would talk with me nicely for hours. i trusted her. i would always get weird warm feeling when i talked with her. one day i couldnt hold myself and i told her i like you. maybe, she was still thinking about the boy who confessed to her back in 8th standard. the boy whom she had rejected. atleast, thats the image i got after reading(ahem! i was not stalking) one of her post on her social media after 2 years. she told me that i am misunderstanding things and she would like to stay my friend. i was dumb and clingy and too attached to let go of her. i said okay we'll stay friends, if you dont want anything of "that" sort i'll gladly stay your friend, forever. a year went by like this, and one day we just stopped talking. i dont know what happened but, one day her messages just stopped coming, out of nowhere. i did not message her after that day. i waited for days, weeks, months. maybe she did not want to talk with me anymore, she found better people to spend her time with. after a few months she messaged me and fucking ripped me to shreds for not messaging her. but those were not the words from a friend, i could sense that. there was no empathy, friendship in those words. they were cold and i could see that she does not like talking with me anymore. my heart sank and out of pain and frustration i told her to stop contacting me anymore. a year after we stopped talking, i found one of her social media accounts. she was posting about her good life is, posts about missing the guy whom she had rejected back in 8th standard, a post about helping her suicidal friend, you know all that shit. it broke me as a person. i wasnt as important to her as i had thought before. it was a cold reminder for how replaceable i am, even to the people who i care so dearly about. maybe i just dont have the strength to take a stand or maybe i am just a very low iq individual. world is a cold and brootal place. this made me question whether everything she said was a lie? what would she gain from lying to me? what kind of joy did she get from messing with my feelings? or does she not understand the weight of her words..? i honestly dont undrstand. i dont know. i really cant trust anyone after this. we are still in no contact, but me being a retard, i occasionally check her whatsapp. i see her online, and i want to talk but i feel so disgusted and betrayed that i cant. the worst part is i still love her and, i miss her. i miss her so much. she probably doesnt even think about me, she probably doesnt even care, i was just another rock in her way. to her it doesnt even matter. but for me, my heart aches everyday by her thought, and memories. it pains me to be this way. im trying to forget her and forget everything to save myself from the pain. but its of no use. its been 7 years and i still cant move on. its pathetic and im just so angry at myself. im ashamed of myself... im 23 now soon will be 24 and still act immature and frustrated. it angers me even more. i want to hold her amd cry my heart and feeling out but she doesnt care and doesnt want to be 10 feet near me. who would want to be near retarded crybaby. who even irl has time for this kind of shit nowadays. i fucking hate myself. i just wish i could move on like she did, so quickly.

>>5765 >>5765 true true. i feel you too nogga. im pussy with immense social anxiety who blanks out when near people. im not charismatic nor can i hold interesting conversations. i have been told so many times that i come across as very positive and good and confident person on first sight but i fail to keep up same interest and confidence as time goes on. honestly i have no idea whats wrong maybe thats just the way i am. i feel good when i see people achieving incredible feats but a corner of my mind thinks i wish i could be like that person as well, achieving things that i want to achieve, shit like that.

>>5768 This reminded me of something that happened a few days ago >cat pees on my bed at night >panic cuz if mom gets to know about this its over for the cat >idea.jpg >pour water on the piss spot and hope it dries till morning >next day >bed still stinks when you sniff the piss part >coincidentally mom wants to change the sheets on the same day >panic.exe >quickly empty the whole sanitizer bottle on the piss area >few minutes later mom starts to change the bedsheets >suspicious-look-on-face >"anon tu peekar aya hai na" >"nahi to" >"jhoot mat bol smell aa raha hai" >mfw Atleast I protected the kitty

>>5770 >after a few months she messaged me and fucking ripped me to shreds for not messaging her. Wtf we are living in the same genre. But I've moved on from her. That one time she stopped texting me I watched the entire Mr. Robot, breaking bad and 2 seasons of the wire. She also had an ex "boyfriend" (she didn't want to label him a boyfriend but they did everything a boyfriend girlfriend would do) he was 5 years older than her, super rich, had a car at 16, good looking etc. She's always claimed to have no experience in any sort of relationship stuff, but one time she told me about how he kissed her in his car and it totally broke me. We were so so close. We were literally what a boyfriend girlfriend is but she again didn't want to label us. One day I finished college and went NEET (she was still in college) and then she started talking less. One day she texts me something along the lines of "heyyy I finally got a boyfriend and I love him sooo much! I just wanted to let you know". It broke me twice as hard. Her new boyfriend was super rich, had a job and a luxury car. He was exactly the same as her previous ex. I was just a transition period in her life, while she switched between the previous guy to the new guy. She was still talking to me after she got a new boyfriend and I did take some subtle jabs and shots at her. It was just funny to me at that point like a cat and mouse chase. I was becoming an alcoholic at that point so half of what I did on soycel media wasn't in my concious decision. Anyway she's completely blocked me now from everywhere (except email). We haven't talked in years. From my knowledge she's probably not with her boyfriend now (not 100% sure). Deep down I always knew she only liked me for the fun, or would drop me, so a part of me was always prepared for this. Which is why it was easy to move on (hail diogenes).

>>5774 aw hell no fuck me youre literally me. i fuckin wish i had not met her back then near bus stand. getting her number was the biggest mistake of my life. i have become bitter, angry and cold through all this. i have become incapable of love and fail to find anyone attractive. i hope youre doiong good man. youve turned out to be a better man through your experience. i wosh i could move on too and not care about things. hell but i still vividly rember everything about her, from her number, her cute eyes, her soothing voice and her caring personality or maybe its just my prpjection of how she was back in the day. fuck theres no place for a "man" who only indulges in past and nostalgia.

>>5774 >Deep down I always knew she only liked me for the fun, or would drop me yeah i knew this too thats why i told her to leave me alone. didnt tgought it will hurt so much

>>5780 >>5779 >>5774 >>5770 Kek my love story is very brief and relatively painless. i liked this girl in college, she was actually really great now that i think about it. Nice to talk to, kind of sweet. We made friends but because I'm a no balls coward we only talked over WhatsApp. I was a fool to believe she liked me and one day i mustered up courage to tell her i like her. She said she had a bf but then started going out with a guy in our class. It's not really her fault but i couldn't take it. We stayed "friends" and still talked over WhatsApp but i felt pathetic when doing so. She messaged first a lot of times and with good intentions I can't explain that feeling. I suppose it was the feeling of being the idiot. So i started talking to her less and less. She asked me why, she asked if she had done something wrong. I said no. Sometimes i felt like telling her the reason but better sense prevailed. Eventually we fell out of contact completely. Now i don't know for sure but her insta stories look like something like "you trust someone and get betrayed" some bullshit idk what that means but i guess that means she broke up? I don't know why i care, it's all just a faint memory now. >>5773 based cat saver

>>5785 >>5770 >>5774 you know looking at these posts, it just feels like its same everywhere. all women just want a shoulder to cry on, or a rug to wipe off their boredom if you may. and all men are so fucking desparate/lonely that even a slight hint of niceness is enough to make them "" fall"" in love. its a bullshit world full of bullshit people. they replace people out of their lives like theyre in browsing a supermarket under the name of "" complex""" emotions. oh i like talking with this person let me talk a few sweet words to keep them as a backup for when i need them, oh wait i found someone better haha fuck you last person back to the shelves you go until maaaybe when im bored. humans and their """ emotions"""". such a bitch creatures. i wish i were a bird or some shit.

>>5785 this post was different!!! or am i hallucinating?!!

>>5786 what the fuck is even point man me crying and getting angry isnt going to get anything done anuway. its not like shes going to come back after all i did. i have accepted the way life is. but i dont want to because its in complete shambles. i domt evem know what im getting angry at. the relationship that i never had?? the fact that she lied to me?? the fact that she hid things from me? who was i to her to even expext these things from her??! a 2 bit bum she knew for maybe 2 years. fuck me. it hurts but it hurts more to know that i cannot do anything about it. or more like i could not do amything about it. she just did not like me whath am i evwn getting worked up about. fuck i wish things had turned out differently well but they fuckin didnt she does not like you and she does not like spending rime with you. thats a fact and you cannot do anything about it fuck you fuck me. shes gone. and shell never be with me. it hurts. i cannot. she never cared about me. everything she said was either a lie or just circumstancial bullshit she popped out. thats what hurts the most. i wish i could get a closure but given how long it has passed she doesmt even remember the shit she said. besides she was talking like that to 50 other boys there was no reason for me to feel special and shit. i was just a fool and dumb kid who believed in bullshit such a "true" """ love"""".

>>5787 >Anonymous Netherlands 11/06/2023 (Mon) 01:51:04 (15 hours ago) Id: 5d6b48 No. 5787 >01:51:04 Sleep deprivation >>5786 Those timepass girls are so annoying. If you sleep with a woman and ditch her, soyciety treats it like such a huge crime, but, like, the other way around, and shit.

>>5800 >sleep deprivation impossible >those timepass girls are so annoying Do you know what i used to do of the toys that i would be too bored to play with? i would break them, play with their broken parts and then throw them away. maybe thats how it is for them as well. i was merely a placeholder in her life, until she found something better. it was only the toy who was getting worked up over getting played with. why did i let her play with me? bacause i liked her playing with me, heh, very selfish afterall. im glad this revealation came to me, it gives me some form of closure. why did she do this? theres no reason i was just a placeholder. what did she mean by all the things she said? nothing you dont have serious talks with your toy its all just a joke in the spirit of the game, theres no meaning. did she have any feelings for me? no sane person holds any feelings for their toys and no sane person takes their toy seriously. the placeholder toy theory answers most of my questions. honestly its just poetic justice. what i used to do with my toys came back to me. im brought to justice i feel satisfied.

>>5762 what happens when you take away a mans ability to make new memories? thats how i have been feeling sine 2017. i have been unable to make new memories, with new people. it constantly feels like a loop. im perpetually stuck in 2017. after 5 years i dont feel like i have grow up while people around me have moved on with their lives, im still stuck. whenever i have fun, i imagine her with me. so, we can have fun together. whenever i go out and take a look at some beautiful scenery, i wish i could enjoy it with her sitting next to me. i cant remember anything other than her memories. when i close eyes i see the time i spent with her. i remember her kindness and thoughfulness. but, i also remeber the times when she hurt me. i cant separate these two. in my mind im just replaying those 2 years with her and i make new memories based on what i remember of her. but those memories are temporary. i can feel her touch and hear her words but they are all fake. when the realization hits i stop. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVGJ1lE8Rs8

>>5841 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb8RFVjbyMw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gFaVJLJGog more time has passed since we stopped talking than the years when we were talking. half a decade is no joke, i have seriously got a few screws loose. i shall stop thinking now. heres to another half a decade in the hopes that i might forget her. maybe time is my only bet.

>>5851 Experiencing sadness after so long is something I could never do. Sometimes I fear what if I don't cry when my parents die, it'll be very awkward few weeks.

>>5762 Aaj zyada pee liya, threw up and blacked out. Woke up and ate lots of cucumbers, feeling like a uneven-nonuniform tube.

>>5884 why did you eat cucumbers after alcohol i made mistake of drinking empty stomach i blacked out and woke up to a shirt full of vomit and headache fuckin weekend ruined

>>5926 >why did you eat cucumbers To get hydrated and cold cucumbers taste so good after too much vodka. >i made mistake of drinking empty stomach 2 rules of drinking. Never drink neat. Always drink before a real meal (lunch or dinner)

>>5931 fuck me man i just wanted to drown the pain instead i end up feeling more shitty. now that i think about it i have never truly felt happy ever since i fell in love with that girl. hope it passes soon.

>>5960 >have never truly felt happy ever since i fell in love with that girl If outside factors make you happy then that's a hard ship to sail on

>>5967 yeah im fucked. its been very long. i wish she was with me. i especially hate when it rains. reminds me of her anyway i logged into my older gmail account(apparently googles gonna wipe the unused accounts in upcoming days) after a few years and found my old webm collection. this ones my favourite

>>5969 ill post more of my favorites

>>5972 these were my shitty attempts at making webms

>>5969 >especially hate when it rains one day while we were texting, I was outdoors and it started to drizzle and few drops landed on my phone screen, I was so excited and took a screenshot to send to her, only to realise quickly that raindrops wont be captured in the screenshot. When I later told her about it we laughed together so much. Fun times. >>5970 Ironic how it was the nge fandom that got me liking the show more than the actual show itself. >>5971 Basadoo. I've been looking for bosozoku stuff lately. Thanks for this. >>5973 these are pretty good

i like the night. Night hours always pass by so slowly and peacefully. I can't get anything done during the day, idk if it's my mentality or something. It all feels like everyone else is doing something really worth their while, while i am not doing any of it. it always feels like i expect myself to do something, something real different and life changing, or maybe just the routine shit. but during the night i am free of these burdens, feels great tbh. >i haven't got the will to try and fight >i'm living in the forest of the dreams https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP0_8J7uxhs (ik the song is about the girl partying and fucking which is the opposite of what i do but the feelings are the same)

>>6076 >i like the night Based. I love night time too. Nightwalks make me want to live life again. I hate it when there's too many bright lights on during night (especially those tube lights). Street lights that flicker are okay. And the yellow street lights make me feel like I'm in a moovie. But life peaks when you're drinking at night in a dark place by the sea.

>>6077 >And the yellow street lights man life was good when sodium vapour lamps lined the streeets. they changed them all out to retarded white, dim LEDs 3-4 years ago. they don't illuminate the street properly and the sodium vapour lamps were just too good, although i suppose they were expensive to maintain. >drinking at night in a dark place by the sea don't the police rape you

>>6077 during college i don't remember being half as efficient during daytime as i was during the night. one night of 2 cans of redbull and a random playlist of weird songs meant i did 5 months worth of work or study, at the cost of a fucked up sleep schedule for weeks afterward and a headache and brain fog that never quite seem to go away and keep mounting on. it's bad for health to never sleep at all, but it's kino to not sleep till about 3 o clock for some solitude and peace.

>>6078 >don't the police rape you Go to police free zones. And the police are drunk by 11pm anyway so anything after that is game. >>6079 >it's bad for health to never sleep at all, but it's kino to not sleep till about 3 o clock for some solitude and peace. Never skipped sleep for studying. I'd always close before feeling sleepy no matter how much I had to cover. Whenever I skipped sleep just to get some peace it never affected me badly. Sometimes i just sit outside the house at night, watching my cat do silly things.

>>6077 bruh daroo is bad

>>6099 u sure buddy?

>>6099 doodh and jaljeera will neve give you an experience like this >>6113 and vidrel

>>6135 too sexy yaar

>>5762 just found out that my oneities from school was in a relatipnship when we were in 8th standard. the relationship ended abruptly and somehow she cant get over it. she has still kept the last flower he gave her. its officially over for me now. i wish i knew this thing 7 years ago, i wouldnt have invested so many of my emotions and time into trying to make things work. it was always a hopeless situation but im angry at myself for being hopefull and still trying everything i could to be with her. i just wish i knew these things a bit earlier so i would have never even tried and it wouldnt have been so painfull now. or maybe i knew but never wanted to accept the reality and kept lying to myself that everythings going to work out in the end and still kept trying. theres nothing more painful than realizing your whole world(or atleast the image of the world in your head) was flase and a lie all along. a lie which kept manipulating me into believing things that do not exist. its painfull to finally realize the feelings i have were and always will be one sided. i always seem to end up thinking about her. i dont want to do that. anyway heres to being forever alone because i cant for any meaningful relations with anyone, anymore. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mtFoXGWcEo

>>6305 >relatipnship when we were in 8th standard Don't tell me the guy was much older than her too. Because that was exactly my case. She developed a weird dynamic with him. Where she "hated" him but still don't want him to leave her. She'd be all sad when she saw any car like his nearby, but also wished that it was his car. I didn't know about him until she "fully" stopped contacting with him. I'm pretty sure she was still talking to him. Recently (about 8+ years later), when she realised he got engaged to some other girl she was beyond destroyed. We had stopped being a thing by then so it wasn't that bad for me. I probably savoured it a little.

>>6306 >Don't tell me the guy was much older than her too. i have no idea who the guy is. i just got to know today. i believed that she rejected him. honestly i never got the impression that she would be the kind of girl who would get in a relation. she had posted a letter she wrote to him on her social media. fuck i am literally shattered into a thousand pieces after reading it. its been almost 10years since they both last spoke why would she still keep the fuxking flowers and keep writing these letters. never fall into love with a girl like this. it will ruin you. thyell keep you around like orbiters and literally suck all your emotions. i was blinded by love to not realize this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaIWSkVWFrE >She'd be all sad when she saw any car like his nearby, but also wished that it was his car thats actually insane. i suppose you two were in a relationship? god you did good breaking it because its just not worth dealing with the consequences. >she realised he got engaged to some other girl she was beyond destroyed where is she now? i hope shes not ruining somebody elses life by getting married. >We had stopped being a thing by then so it wasn't that bad for me good for you man. i hope it didnt hurt you knowing about her obsession with the other dude. fucking hell i literally cannot understand.

>>6306 >>6305 What the fuck? Pajeetas are actually insane and unhinged.

>>6308 >i have no idea who the guy is I'm willing to bet he's much older than her. >she had posted a letter she wrote to him Letter girls are extremely dangerous. Never seen a letter lover who wasn't emotionally deranged. Also what are you planning to do? Will you break up with her? >where is she now? Last I knew she wasn't married and I don't think she'll marry in the next few years. She has a new boyfriend who I'm not sure if she'll marry. He's mostly going to be her timepass until she finishes her masters. >>6318 It's a weird place. If you find a good woman she'll be a boring fuckmeat who you'll find hard loving, you won't have any problems between you but you'll just be labels with no sovl. And I do think it works for certain type of people. These toxic ones are actually fun, entertaining and fulfil all your romantic needs but with the cost of your entire sanity. It's fun while it lasts but once it's over IT'S OVER.

>>6324 shut the fuck up, kissless incel

being around people makes me feel even more lonely... they are nice but it all feels temporary and surface level im tired of seeing the same thing again and again; join a newly formed group, feel well adjusted at first but then everyone seems to form deeper and deeper friendships with each other, even the people who looked to be at odds at the start become close friends and you keep wondering what you could have done differently.

>>6824 You either get good at identifying and making true friends or give up and learn to live without friends

>>6824 I had a really good friend once. Truth is I loved her. She never had similar feelings for me. She would've never had them anyway. But we still were very very good friends. One night something very weird happened. I did not say her goodnight and she didn't either. We just stopped talking after that. It was just like that out of nowhere. I didn't talked to her and she didn't talk to me either. The time I spent with her was the first time I had ever experienced genuine human connection and it will probably be the last as well. Whether they were selfish or not I don't know and don't care. Maybe she got angry when I abruptly cut her call when she was trying to help me. I don't know man. I really loved her. More than myself. Maybe I didn't text her because subconsciously I knew that whatever I have right now won't last forever and i could sense its end is near. I was selfish. I had never experienced these feelings before and I'll never experience them again. Its been so many years but there hasn't been a single day when I have not thought about her and missed her. I vividly remember everything about her. Her voice, smile, her texts, everything. I wish I could spend rest of my life with her. She certaunly doesn't want to tho lol. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks about me as well. Probably not. Anyway she's doing good in her life, so I guess everything turned out to be really great for her :) at least she doesn't have a depressed cynical rock holding her back. Put some effort into people and a lot of them will certainly reciprocate. You could probably experience something beautiful in your life as well. Anyway I'm just a NEET hikki now, it rots your brain away. Go out and form human connections now!! There is no easy way other than forcing yourself to do things. You'll be surprised how many good and trustworthy people are out there. Don't care about being awkward, retarded or not knowing people. Communication is very important in human relations. Remember it always takes two people to make friendships/relations work. And sometimes you'll have to compromise on a few things to make your friendships work. Nobody will know you if you don't let anyone to know you. And of course stay away from scumbags they'll drain you out. And don't be afraid of walking away or taking a stand for yourself.

>>6324 Over

>>5770 >>5774 >>5779 >>5780 >>5785 >> >>6827 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTEkQ9Uyjiw

>>6837 Battiya bhujado to neend nahi aati hai

spend 2 years living a lie spend 7 years contemplating your naivety born for mediocrity https://yewtu.be/embed/CvjRlYpXS5U?t=44

>>5762 I am bald at my mid 20s

>>6870 You know the drill https://youtu.be/jOTeBVtlnXU?t=50s

>>6849 Go into details >>6870 Better than micropenis

>>6872 >Go into details I can't. Sorry. I forgot what I was sad about lol.

If silent hill gave you a pizza, will you eat it?

>>6900 basado, ghum bhool jaao

>>6910 >ghum jao

>>6907 idk who silent hill is but I would not eat any kind of pizza not for free not even if you paid me

>>6917 kuru kuru kuru kuru yaara

man sometimes I regret the passing of time? not wasting time, just the passing of time, >oh X happened 6 years ago? >shieet I'm so sad.

This world is too brutal. So much hurt and so much pain. I wish for everyone, every animal, tree, eprson and machine to be free of worries of all kinds. Thats what im asking for once i find all 7 dragon balls >>7372 To be fair, past 6 years really passed way too quick. Atleast they did feel very quick kek.

>>7398 mujhe duniya ka sabse aaramdayak atimulayam chaddha chahiye woh bhi mang lena pls

>>7399 Anone~.. You dont need to waste your wush for that

>>7400 Buruma jee

>>7406 Tera rasta dekh raha hun Sigadi pe dil sek raha hun Aa pardesi more bulma Oh bulma, oh bulma

I fucking hate Indians I hope you all die

>>7417 Keep seething.

>>7417 Kek why?

Frick frick frick I dont want to forget this. I had a good dream after such a long time. In my dream, i had a lost(dead) love. I spent all my time searching for ways to meet with her spirit. During my travels, I was in a small town which was haunted by two spirits. However, the spirits bothered no one. Instead people used to come to a specific spot where two scythes were kept and would use those scythes to summon the spirit. For some reason i knew both of those spirits and they wanted to hurt me. I however was very experienced in dealing with spirits and i had a flashback where some body told me how to avoid getting hurt by spirits. They listed 3 techniques, one of which was to just hop to the right when a spirit is charging at you kek. I dont remember anything that happened inbetween. Just before i woke up, it was evening time in my dream. The sky had anime evening like colors, pure orange and pink and slight blue. i was near the spot where people used to summon the spirits and the son of the spirit of one of the person who died summoned it. They talked and after the son left, the spirit started talking to me and we started arguining and then the spirit became angry and tried to hurt me by throwing and swinging its scythe. I grabbed one of thw scythe it tried to throw. People started coming outa their house beecause the spot was in middle of the city. I however knew that tge spirit cant hurt me and calmly walked away. i was dodging the spirits attack and i was very smug about it and kept reminding it that it cannot hurt me and told it to go away, to no avail. As i was walking up a slightly elevated road, an absolute banger of a house song started playing. It was fast and it had lyrics sung in a spirit girl voice. My heart started racing and i start to remember my lost(dead) love while dodging the spirits attack. I remeberd how much i love her. I want to hold her in my arms as close as possible to my heart. I want to talk to her and caress her hair. And i want to kiss her on lips. I couldnt take this and woke up suddenly to a complete quiet and humming fan noise. My heart was still racing and i had tears filling my eyes. This was such a good dream. I wish i have them more often. I still forgot everything but premise and ending.