COMPLETE AND UTTER PHYSICAL AND EXISTENTIAL AGONY I ate the bar over the course of dinner so that it would kick in by the time I was finished. It kicked in faster than last time, I realized I may have gotten too much food, and put away the last quarter of dinner in the fridge. I brushed my teeth with some distraction and then things proceeded well as in the image in the post above. Then, around 8:30, I decided to watch some Cyriak videos because their bizarreness would be nicely colored my then current state of mind. I only managed to watch a couple before I began having stomach pains. They were minor at first, simply annoying. I've dealt with this often as I have stomach problems. I don't know if it was what I had eaten for both lunch and dinner, the shrooms in the chocolate, the chocolate itself, or a combination of some or all of these things. The pain escalated. It got worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. I'd probably rate it around a 7/10 on the pain scale at its worst. This is the second time I've experienced this much pain in my life. Enough on its own to make me delirious. That, combined with hallucinogenic effects was a recipe for a living nightmare. As the pain reached moderate levels, I turned off the TV and gave up on watching anything colorful. I was severely irritated that I could not enjoy how reality was increasingly warping or the cool hallucinations I was having unrelated to what I was looking at. Then the pain began reaching severe levels. The order of events becomes a bit foggy from here on. I lay on my bed, shorts and underwear half down in some vain attempt to relieve any external pressure on my lower stomach, tossing and turning and writhing in agony. I pleaded with various various deities I didn't believe in and begged for the pain the stop and desperately tried to rationalize a cause and effect to prevent this from happening again. These are all thoughts I had last time I experienced pain strong enough to make me delirious though. As the effects of the candy bar grew stronger and stronger, I had several other new conscious thoughts that later became unconscious inactions through an unconscious force of will. >Do not cause real physical harm to yourself, you will regret it later >Do not bite yourself hard enough to draw blood, you will regret it later >Do not stab yourself, you will regret it later >Do not leave your room to get help, you will regret it later >Do not try to go to the hospital, it won't help, you'll just have a huge bill, you will regret it later >Do not kill yourself >Do not kill anyone else, you will regret it later I would bite things, pillows, blankets, my mattress topper, my arm, my hand, my finger, and scream quietly through the pain. I would hit my head on then bed frame, punch the bed frame, intensely open and close my hands, grip the end table by my bed, grip the closed knife by my bed, and more to try and cope with the pain. At some point I dropped the close knife behind my bed. The hallucinations and pain delirium began to fuse together into the most unholy experience I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. I began to be unable to tell what was real and was a hallucination. I would go back and forth between knowing I'm in my room in agony, to thinking I was somewhere else, in agony. Sometimes I was alone, sometimes there were people I knew. I began to forget who I was, why I was, what reality is. I began to think that existence was pain, that I was always in pain, that I was never not in pain, that I had been existing in pain for eternity and will continue to exist in pain for eternity. Soon my thoughts themselves became totally incoherent. My inner voice was spouting random words in random order. I ceased to truly think or comprehend anything happening, except pain. PAIN. PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN Beneath this conscious experience was an unconscious force of will preventing me from taking any action in my agonized state that might have severe negative consequences in the long term. That list of thoughts that I could no longer consciously comprehend drove me to inaction for my own good. Twice during the height of this hellscape I would just barely come back to reality and have some conscious thought. First, I gained enough presence of mind to get up and press the power button on my computer so that if I were incapacitated or dead, nobody would see what was on it. Later, I noticed my monitors were still on on the lock screen at midnight sharp. I was severely irritated by their light, but could not physically bring myself to get up and turn them off for what felt like ages. 12:00 to 12:01 felt like it lasted for several minutes. 12:01 to 12:05 passed somewhat faster, and it was then I was finally able to get up and turn the damn screens off. Then I returned to the nightmare. I came back to reality a third time, vomited in my trash bin several times, placed it back on the floor, and then finally, finally, blacked out. The worst was finally over. When I woke up, it was about 2:40AM. I threw away the vomit, washed the bin, and went to real sleep. I had a fairly interesting and pleasant dream about a videogame that didn't exist. Woke up around 6:30, back to sleep, woke up around 8. Showered, had several regular small shits, one almost diahreaa shit, still felt and am now still feeling minor stomach pains. The pretty colors, the hallucinations, the good vibes, the melting reality, my delicious lunch and dinner, none of it was worth this. Never again.

>>10 After taking a day and half to recover from the worst thing I have ever experienced, I have decided not to forsake shrooms. There were several factors contributing to my stomach pains which I can minimize in the future, I still have a whole other 7g, 15 square bar I had already purchased, and going forward I plan to buy the pills rather than the sugary chocolate despite it being more expensive. I'll probably give it a go again this weekend with 7 squares.

Last night I waited until a little while after dinner to take the chocolate and made sure to eat light and nothing that would much bother my stomach. I took 5 1/2 squares, which is about 2.56g assuming even distribution. I noticed my stomach feeling funky and decided to cut myself off there instead of at 7 squares, realizing I had made a mistake. I experienced the usual effects and had a pretty good time for a little while, but eventually stomach pains came upon me again. I went to the bathroom, had mild diahreaa with severe stomach cramps, probably a 5 or a 6 on the pain scale. I bit my shirt to deal with the pain. I stripped naked and crawled into the tub so I could lie down without getting my clothes wet or potentially shitting everywhere. I got out of the tub and had diahreaa again. I picked my shirt back up, wadded it, and bit into it so I wouldn't grind my teeth. The pain gradually subsided, but I found myself unable to stop biting my shirt until after I had finished cleaning myself up. I still had very mild pain now and then, and some belching, but I was no longer really suffering. I was however exhausted from the experience. I lay down in bed, listened to some soothing music to keep myself in a good mood, and embraced the enhanced visual imagination I was experiencing when I closed my eyes. It wasn't quite a solid hallucination, and it really felt like a waking dream. I mostly tried to will into existence various erotic things, but often it would be colored by visions of shows I've been watching and games I've been playing. There was that feeling again like I forgot where I was and who I was, and that I wasn't alone, but it was pleasant and comfortable now that I was no longer in pain. I spent a couple hours like this before taking off my headphones and going to sleep. This experience was just barely worth it. Next time, I'm trying chocolate and sugar free pills. If those don't cause me to be ill, then I'll take those from now on, and just have a single square of my remaining chocolate with each trip so it's neither wasted, nor used in large enough quantities to cause me pain.

Tried a pill today. No chocolate, no sugar, no heavy meal beforehand, waited an hour after breakfast. Still felt nausea and a couple minor cramps. I really want to watch the world melt and have vivid hallucinations, but it seems my stomach just can't handle it. This time, it was a 1.2g pill with nootropics. Type of shroom is a blend, so I have no idea what specifically is in it. It kicked in after about 45 minutes. I felt nauseous, shaky, and very tired. Cold too, but that may have been that it was actually cold. I crawled into bed and thought I might take a nap and hopefully not experience any real negative effects. Put on some chill music, and eventually was almost positive I was no longer going to feel cramps, even if I still felt a little queasy. There was the usual melty wobbly effect to world, but fairly minor. I did notice a vibrancy to colors like usual as well, and afterimages when I waved my hands. I didn't experience any real visual hallucinations though, nor was I expecting to at that dosage. However I did have a highly enhanced imagination when I closed my eyes. Visual thoughts were more vibrant and clear, like a waking dream. Sometimes I wasn't even sure if I was awake until I opened my eyes. So, not feeling well enough to even sit up, but feeling comfy, I thought sexy thoughts and was able to slip into some pleasant delusions of fucking various non-existent things while I humped the air. In fact, I did experience a tactile hallucination during this self inflicted delusion. I thought there was thick precum seeping though my shorts which I was stopping from getting on the bed with my hand, only to later realize my shorts and hand were totally dry. Once the height of this wore off, I laid comfortably a while, then went through a similar delusionary state a couple more times, until I felt fairly sure I was not capable of it anymore. During the non-delusionary states, I felt a dissociation from myself, a third person perspective on events as if I wasn't me. I relaxed in bed a while, got up, ate lunch, got the munchies and kept eating some snacks for the duration of the show I was watching, and now I'm fairly sure the effects are entirely gone. My stomach is still somewhat uncomfortable, but as I experienced no vomiting or diahreaa this time and had a fairly pleasant experience overall, I'm going to try to raise the dosage next weekend to 1.8g and see if I can handle it.

Had to skip last week. Gonna try again this weekend, with a slightly higher dosage. Last time's sweet delusions are making me consider buying an onahole. I don't masturbate, but with this, I might actually be able to enjoy it. Especially if I can up the dosage enough to experience actual hallucinations.

Here we go.

It's been an hour and a half. I took a pill like before and a single square of chocolate. Slightly higher dose than last time. I barely feel anything, barely experiencing any visual effects. It's been two weeks since last, so it's unlikely I've developed a tolerance. Normally this stuff kicks in at 45 minutes at the latest and then lasts a few hours. I'm getting real annoyed at the damned unpredictability of the strength of what I'm taking. I thought pills would be a more certain dosage. At least my stomach is hardly bothered.

>>22 Mild nausea and stomach cramps. But visual effects finally started ramping up.

>>23 Fairly lucid the whole time. No weird emotional changes like euphoria or anything, which is unusual. I can see cool fractals in things with repeating patterns, but strangely, the ceiling doesn't want to turn very melty this time. Lots of enhanced imagination when I close my eyes. Like a light lucid dream again. Only this time, after a while, I can't seem to keep coherence in it to see what I want, and instead end up in weird adventures. It's kind of like what I'd imagine tripping would be, but it's only there when I close my eyes, and it takes mental effort. The visions get exhausting, and I want to rest, but I'm already resting, and I have to open my eyes to rest. The effects are still going, but I've grown tired of them and am just going to ignore them and continue about my daily routine now. Next time I'll try 1.5 pills, since I experienced even less stomach pains than last time, in spite of the fact that my stomach wasn't in the best condition when I started.

>>24 Okay, there's some very very light euphoria. My mood is normal unprovoked, but I do find funny things more amusing.

I have just discovered that the waiting period to prevent a build up of psilocybin tolerance is actually 2 weeks, not one. It's going to take a very long time to slowly raise my dosage. Every two weeks I'll follow this pattern from here on >1.5 pills = 1.8g >1.5 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 2.26g >2 pills = 2.4g >2 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 2.86g >2.5 pills = 3g >2.5 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 3.46g >3 pills = 3.6g >3 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 4.06g >3.5 pills = 4.2g >3.5 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 4.66g >4 pills = 4.8g >4 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 5.26g >4.5 pills = 5.4g >4.5 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 5.86g >5 pills = 6g >5 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 6.46g It will take me 8 months to get through my remaining 8 squares of chocolate, after which I plan on never taking chocolate shrooms again. My horrible experience was with about a whole half bar of chocolate. My goal is 7.2g with 6 pills without experiencing horrible pain. That should be enough to experience vivid hallucinations, the whole world to melt, and to have a near complete dissociation with reality.

Conditions are unideal. Stomach issues for the last 3 days. Gas out of both ends and occasional minor cramps. However, I do not have the patience to skip a week under a schedule already this spaced out. Taking 1.5 pills, 1.8g, now.

>>32 God these pills taste like ass. At least they're smaller than my stomach meds.

Mildly queasy. Stomach making weird noises.

Cold and shaky and still a bit nauseas. The world is wobbly and has chromatic aberration. Sometimes it seems to spin, though I don't feel off balance. Even the things on the screen are wildly distorted. Which is strange. Normally anything on a screen without repeating patterns maintains complete coherency. Experiencing enhanced imagination and some euphoria clouding my thoughts.

I can see the colors gogin beyond the borders.

very excitable can't stop foot tapping.

The thick of it has passed, though I'm still seeing fractals anywhere with repeating patterns, and there's still some chromatic aberration. Though there was mild nausea, I didn't have any cramps, which is great. In almost total silence, underneath the sound of light rain, and the ringing in my ears, I thought I could hear something far away. I couldn't tell if it was some sort of auditory hallucination or not. I began to think I could hear what nothingness sounded like, a very quiet distant hum. I can still hear it now if I listen. It scares me, like some slumbering beast god I shouldn't disturb by trying to listen closer. My nausea faded, though I had occasional belching. I got pretty sleepy mid way through, but determined not to waste my morning, I managed stay conscious in spite of being in that grey waking dream state whenever I closed my eyes. This was a good trip, and I feel optimistic about the next one.

I experienced no visible hallucinations, but again, had the tactile hallucination of thick goopy precum seeping through my shorts and on my hand every time I tried to touch my dick over my shorts.

Also, comparing this 1.8g of pills to the time I took 1.86g of the chocolate, this experience had far less of an effect on my stomach. Either my stomach is learning to handle this over repeated usage and my gradually increasing dosage plan is working, or the lack of chocolate and sugar makes a significant difference, or both. The trip was also much more effective, but back then I was taking some once a weekend instead of two weeks, so I was also building tolerance to psilocybin, so the spaced out dosages seem to be working as well. Next comparative milestone will be in a month, when I take 2 pills for 2.4g nearly equivalent to my bad experience with 2.56g of chocolate, then a month later for 3 pills = 3.6 grams to compare to my hell trip with 3.73g of chocolate. If I can reach that threshold again safely, I think I can finally see actual open eye visual hallucinations. I don't have much optimism on going farther, but maybe if I'm lucky I can reach whatever amount is needed for complete dissociation with reality and go on a real trip.

Feeling pretty good about this morning. Taking 1.5 pills + 1 chocolate square ≈ 2.26g in a little while.

Early on, extremely mild nausea and cramps. I then got really horny and laid down while listening to an hour and half audio porn split in two parts, each about a girl trying to masturbate and getting interrupted. Saw a lot of crazy shit with my eyes closed, and in spite of the moaning and schlicking in my ears, things would spiral in a non-lewd direction. I saw fractals of violence and gore and teeth and claws and watched as abandoned worlds were slowly engulfed by shoggoth like eldritch things that grew across the land. And every once in a while I'd be brought back into a lewd state from hearing a girl absolutely fingerblasting her pussy. The second girl does it in the school bathroom and eventually uses a banana. When I reached the end of the audio porn I took my headphones off and slipped into that sweet delusive state where I could almost believe I was fucking the various fantasy creatures I could see when I closed my eyes. Eventually the horny faded away but I kept seeing creatures. I saw a lion head that was bleeding rainbow static and other cool shit. I really liked the black and white slithering things in the dark that had eyes in only the wrong places. Those things were hot. I did have moderate stomach cramps around the middle pulling down my vibes. Three times in the silence I would be jolted to sudden wakefulness by what I think must have been an auditory hallucination. The first time was as I was imagining a being that only existed so long as I dreamt of it, and I could feel like that noise was it becoming aware of me, realizing how fragile its existence was, and screaming out for a half a second, suddenly cut off by the fact that startling me snuffed it out of existence. The second time was more a buzzing noise that quickly faded away, and accompanying it my closed eye visions took a drastic and colorful turn from their recent stagnancy. The third was like the second, but less pronounced. I think I'm going to stop taking the chocolate altogether, even if it's a waste of what's left. It's probably the chocolate responsible for the majority of my stomach issues. Also, my teeth hurt. This will accelerate my dosage increases. Still no open eye hallucinations yet. I didn't pay much attention to waking world though. It was wavy, but I was more interesting in the wild things I saw with my eyes closed. It looks trippy, but I'd still only describe it as enhanced imagination, and not really hallucinations. I'm beginning to worry that might be the extent of what tripping is, but for now, I'll keep telling myself I'm just not at high enough dosages yet.

It also seems consistent now that afterwards I'll lose motivation for the day, I won't be hungry until I start eating, then I'll have the munchies once I take a few bites and eat more than usual.

Gonna get up early tomorrow morning and take 2 pills = 2.4g. Hopefully with a light dinner, a light breakfast, an hour wait after breakfast, and no chocoshrooms, I won't have much if any stomach cramps and mild nausea at worst. This will be in comparison to my last similar dosage that resulted in a painful experience. >>13

>>48 Just popped muh pills.

It's beginning to kick in. Mild nausea.

A little shaky.

Walked about enjoying pattterns in things. Want to write down for later. But screen melts in front of me.

Bordering on visual halluciation I think.

I spelled cock in the air using the afterimages from my hands

As I lay down and my thoughts wandered voices in my head would argue. I felt a strong sense of dissociation with my self. Things were going great until about and hour and a half in when I started having moderate stomach cramps. They're still just now calming down. So even without the chocolate, it seems my body just can't handle psychedelics. It sucks, because for a minute I thought I was on the edge of visual hallucinations. I thought I could see the shapes of giant Buddhist and Aztec statues through the trees in the distant woods, and strange unknown writing stood out in the patterns of the trees. I guess I'll have to settle for things only half-remembered in dreams.

Fun thread, ty

Holy shit, I'm still going. I didn't realize it at first, but I can still see fractals in my wallpaper. I'd thought I'd been sober and just uncomfortable for at least an or two now. Really shows how much of the experience these damn stomach pains have been taking away from me.

>>56 Oh hai. Sorry you have to show up just as I'm stopping posting here probably forever.

>>58 Wtvr man, it's alr. What's the reason for stopping?

>>59 Read the latest posts. >>55

>>59 I'm probably going to lock this board soon, because there's practically no one here and I've no interesting managing a board I have no use for.

>>60 Oh yeah, kinda missed this one. Sorry to hear that you're having a shit ton of problems with ur stomach.

I've decided not give up. Next time I'll go back to the last previous safe dose. I'll raise the dosage from there even more slowly by cutting the pills and only raising it every other use. This will put me roughly back on the track I was on when I was taking a single chocolate square with every other dose. If I can't handle it again, I'll cut it even further to 1/8th of a pill = 0.15g per increase. I'm not sure I could slow it any more than that. I may look into more info on reducing sickness caused by shrooms, but last time didn't give me much useful info. >1.5 pills = 1.8g (Very mild nausea and 1 mild cramp. Highest totally enjoyable dosage so far) >1.75 pills = 2.1g >1.75 pills = 2.1g >2 pills = 2.4g (Moderate nausea and cramps, experience ruined, though enjoyable for 1.5 hours. Burning shit and minor cramps for a couple days) >2 pills = 2.4g >2.25 pills = 2.7g >2.25 pills = 2.7g >2.5 pills = 3g >2.5 pills = 3g >2.75 pills = 3.3g >2.75 pills = 3.3g >3 pills = 3.6g (Comparable dosage to my hell trip with chocolate of 3.73g) >3 pills = 3.6g

The other day, I had shroom tea of roughly about 0.4g. There were barely any effects and it was practically microdosing, so this confirms to me the potency per gram of these pills is roughly the same as direct shrooms. I did experience temporary minor cramps that were unusal for that low a dosage. Just took 1.5 pills = 1.8g, since I want to keep my dosage schedule up and the tea was practically nothing.

Getting a mild headache.

Headache is now moderate. This did not occur with the last similar and higher dosages. Could be caused by my lack of sleep last night. Only got 5 hours. Could be some interaction between what I took the day before and what I just took. Took some ibuprofen.

Headache has calmed down. Excitable, giddy even.

It's really starting to kick. Getting all the basics. Breathing walls, fractals in repeating patterns. Everything a little wavy. Chromatic abberation. Mild afterimages. The works. But no closed eye hallucinations/enhanced imagination so far.

Coming down a bit now. Saw lots of cool shit in the dark, felt a dissociation with my self, multiple people talking in my head. Had minor stomach cramps consistent with my last similar dosage. Maybe this is my limit?

Just took 2.1g of pills.

Had a nice trip. Was able to slip into some pleasant delusions. A religion formed around the worship of anime pussy. At some point I decided that if there were going to be voices fighting in my head, they should be cute girls, and so they became smug anime girls, and all was well. Only very mild nausea and cramps. Hardly notable overall.

Takin 2.1g in a little while.

>>72 Took it about 25 mins ago.

INcredibly giddy and fi=dgety. Chromatic abberation. afterimages. The usual. Feels more intense than last time. Lots of rainbows.

The floor is alive with motion and the room is breathing and I feel fucking ecstatic as the screen gets melty before my eyes.

I had a good time getting lost in my head. Listened to https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=sKCczOPMUuA while looking at some art by Dagasi, mostly furshit. The vibrant colors were great, and I could practically feel the characters pop out of the screen. They felt 2.5D. Then I laid down under the covers and saw visions of various characters in that artstyle, and with a couple of original characters that danced titillatingly. One was some sort of green bunny thing and another was some circus dancer lady with extra puffy pumpkin shorts. The latter was topless, but was facing away. Also, Pomni from TADC popped in several times in the more trippy scenes that are hard to describe since everything shifts around so much. It really is like a waking dream, one you can remember, and any inability to remember is just because so much happened that it's hard to keep track of it all. At one point I tried to turn away from my imagination and focus solely on the lights in front of my eyes in the dark to see if I could see anything in them, but they just turned into scintillating black and white lines formed around the outline of a person. Looked kind of like what a visualization of echolocation looks like. Continuing to focus I saw it was the shape of a pregnant woman sitting down, viewed from a high angle. This visual was non-sexual though. Just the shape of the body. At one point I started seeing things I didn't like and couldn't really push them out with something more positive, so I imagined something "worse" but that I didn't actually dislike seeing as much and was able to force the previous thing out. The worse thing was just some body horror. Random fingers and teeth and eyes and blood and gore that eventually became an all consuming hellscape. Then I thought "but hell should have some sexy demons?" and so a purple skinned succubus with small perky breasts and a glowing outline appear to seduce me and I was back on the track of lewd visions. The trip enhanced the music and the music really enhanced the trip. I'll probably listen to this track again next time. I should find the individual songs to add to my music. One time when Game Friggin' Over played, something about it put my mind a vanilla state, and I could only imagine consensual newlywed sex. All thoughts of rape scenarios and homosexuality were forced out by intense monogamous lovemaking.

>>76 I hardly felt any stomach weirdness, and any cramps were so mild I wasn't even sure if I had them. Next time I'll move up to 2.4g again. Hopefully I can handle it this time.

Taking 2.4g in a little while.

Besides slipping into some delusions of pinning down and raping various anime girls, I saw a lot of things this time. The thing that's most memorable is seeing an evil mecha version of Link with a square robot face, a pointy nose, and sharp teeth. He was standing outside of Hyrule Castle jacking off to a small pile of nuts, berries, twigs and leaves. He looked over his should at me as he did this, grinning sinisterly as if he was doing something dastardly. I encountered a streetgang of buff oni girls in the city. They were various red, blue and purple skin colors, had too many piercings, were casually topless, and I think one of them peed on me. There was a slime being with a slime core, stereotypically blue. Usually it was a slime girl, though sometimes it was a boy. It took on various forms besides it's natural state of a blank spheroid for both me and it to get off. However our sexcapades were interrupted by a vision of getting sucked off my a mermaid cow lady. She was hot, but I didn't like the way her face distorted when sucking my dick, and then her face was horse face, then things got trippy as tendrils and blood started growing everywhere from the horse face until all of reality was a body horror nightmare. I looked to my left at the slime girl, but she just shrugged as she too turned into fleshy body horror and faded away. I engaged in mutually assured auto-erotic asphyxiation with Miku as I fucked her. But I think she was just trying to kill me, not trying to get off. I had moderate stomach cramps again, but they didn't kill my vibe like last time. I had a heavy dinner, so hopefully I'll do better next time.

>>78 >>79 A lot the time I was very confused. And this was good. In fact, I wanted to be even more confused!

Just took 2.4g

Things'er starting to melt

Moderate cramps almost the whole way through. Gonna have to cut back to 2.1g next time and then see if I can raise the dosage more slowly. I had a lot of that third person view feeling, and at some point it became really self aware and was explicitly broken down into the various perspectives that were being held simultaneously. The loudest perspective was the Guide, which described situations as they happened and often spoke to me in the second person. Second loudest was the Adventurer, who would react to things happening and was usually the me the Guide spoke to. Third loudest were the Inhabitants. That is, the various beings that were not me that I conjured up for my entertainment. They're usually not self aware, and when they are, they fear me because they'll cease to exist if I don't think about them. The quietest perspective was Witness, or Me. This is the view that watched all interactions between the Adventurer, the Guide, and the Inhabitants. This perspective says little or nothing, is first person, and when referenced by the others gives the feeling breaking the fourth wall and suddenly turning to look at the camera. The Guide and Witness are incorporeal, but the Adventurer and the Inhabitants are corporeal. The Adventurer is my avatar in world of imagination and doesn't know or understand what the Witness is unless explicitly told by the Guide. The Inhabitants in their non-self aware state are ignorant of the Guide and the Witness, and see the Adventurer as whatever role I want to currently take. Basically a videogame with a narrator and self aware protagonist. Thinking about it some more, it was basically Slay The Princess, except I played all the roles in the story at once, and this happens every time I trip and try to consciously go on an adventure, whether I'm aware of it at the moment or not.

I'm on drugs again! 2.1gs, about 10 minutes ago.

Inanimate objects are breathing.

The taste of the pills is horrid, doesn't wash out easy, and immediately tricks me into thinking I'm queasy long before the pills could have had any effect. Tried wrapping them in a small amount of whole grain bread. They went down easy and flavorless. Despite stepping back the dosage to an amount I've taken without issue twice before, I again had moderate cramps most of the way through. The first hour and a half of the experience was just coping with the pain, and I mostly saw hellish things to go along with the pain. I imagined a hand inside my stomach, grabbing and twisting and fisting and pulling my insides with every cramp. I got used to pain and made a friend in the dark. Something with no body, but lots of eyes and lots of teeth. When I tried to imagine a thing to fuck, it would inhabit the body. When I asked what it liked sexually, it responded by showing me dragons being melted by acid until only their bones remained. I indulged it and turned my thoughts towards various dragons I knew of so it could witness them being melted alive. Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon), Shinryu (Final Fantasy), that WoW dragon, various more generic dragons, my own vision of Jormungandr the world serpent. I made the thing in the dark compromise with me and I fucked dragon girls after that. Regularly I'd feel the cramps pick up again and my visions would turn once again to hellscapery and body horror. Bleeding eyeballs and skin being stitched together and scissors treating someone's face as if it was made of paper. Gross stuff. I'm not too fond of pain. Will step the dosage back again, next time. What mistake did I make that I didn't make the last two times with this dosage? Could the bread have made that much of a difference? Why can't I trip balls in peace?