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King of Shitposting

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RAM 1/1/18 IT'S A NEW YEAR YES IT IS edition Boliever 01/01/2018 (Mon) 21:27:58 Id: 49216c No. 90916
WWE Raw preview, Jan. 1, 2018: Lesnar returns for New Year's Day edition of Raw Universal Champion Brock Lesnar will ring in the New Year by returning to Raw, four weeks before he defends his title against both Braun Strowman and Kane in a Triple Threat Match at the Royal Rumble event. How will The Beast Incarnate address his monstrous opponents? Also on Raw, Cedric Alexander challenges Enzo Amore for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship! >The Beast is back for 2018’s first Raw Raw is starting out 2018 in a major way as Universal Champion Brock Lesnar emerges once again, live in Miami’s AmericanAirlines Arena. It was in this very building that Lesnar returned to WWE back in 2012, obliterating John Cena with an F-5 that set the dominant tone for the rest of his career to date. As The Beast prepares to defend his title against Braun Strowman and Kane at the Royal Rumble event on Sunday, Jan. 28, will another Superstar face his fury in this building on Raw? >Brock actually wrestles outside of a PPV >Cedric Alexander challenges Enzo Amore for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship Cedric Alexander finally gets the opportunity he worked so hard to earn by winning one or two matches after Poor Goose got booked when he aims to separate Enzo Amore from his “booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” the WWE Cruiserweight Championship, on a special New Year’s edition of Raw. Alexander has been on a roll recently, winning back-to-back tag team matches on Raw and WWE Network’s 205 Live en route to his biggest bout to date. Will Alexander celebrate the New Year with his first championship victory in WWE? >Can Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan coexist as tag team partners? Few could have predicted that Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan would be able to work as a unit, but on Christmas night, they were celebrating with the Raw Tag Team Titles after defeating the nigh-unbeatable Sheamus & Cesaro. Was that win a fluke, or are we looking at Raw’s new fighting champions? Why isn't an actual SHIELD member in on this? Why is Jorson Jadon in this storyline? We’ll find out if there’s more to this unexpected tandem on Monday night. >Who will face Hideo Itami next? After Hideo Itami’s Go-To-Sleep BROKE the nose and orbital bone of The Brian Kendrick on Raw, and after he wrestled outside of his division to needlessly bury Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel because Creative sucks dick, the Japanese Superstar continued the brutality by making Kendrick’s ally Jack Gallagher submit to the excruciating Rings of Saturn on WWE Network’s 205 Live. With a penchant for punishing his opponents, Itami is quickly making a name for himself in the Cruiserweight division. Whoever stands across from the ring from him on Raw will have their work cut out for them. >inb4 GTS is banned >Will new Superstars declare for the Royal Rumble Matches? For the first time in history, male and female Superstars will compete in their own respective Royal Rumble Matches, and the competition is already fierce for both contests while nobody but low T beta soycucks gives a fuck. The Men’s Royal Rumble Match will see John Cena, Elias, Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura battle it out with 26 game Superstars, while Naomi, Asuka, Natalya and jewby riottt have revealed their participation in the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble Match. Who will be throw their name into the proverbial hat next? To find out, tune in to a special New Year’s Day edition of Raw, live at 8/7 C on USA Network. >Roman Reigns defends the Intercontinental Championship against Samoa Joe, with a catch The animosity between Intercontinental Champion Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe showed no sign of simmering on Christmas Day when the two battled for the title on Raw. During the bout, Joe targeted The Big Dog’s elbow – similar to the injury sustained by Dean Ambrose – but that only prompted Reigns to unleash his rage on his nemesis. When the referee tried to pull the Intercontinental Champion away, Reigns shoved him, resulting in a disqualification. After Reigns was fined for making contact with the official, Raw General Manager Kurt Angle announced on Twitter that The Big Dog will defend the Intercontinental Championship against Samoa Joe on the first Raw of 2018. However, if Reigns is disqualified, he loses the title. Can The Big Dog control his aggression and anger toward Samoa Joe? Kurt Angle✔ @RealKurtAngle On the first #Raw of 2018 @WWERomanReigns will defend his #ICTitle against @SamoaJoe; if Roman is DQ’ed, he’ll lose the match AND his title 1:20 PM - Dec 29, 2017 650 650 Replies 1,296 1,296 Retweets 5,747 5,747 likes
I completely forgot there was a ram today. >Brock actually wrestles outside of a PPV Inb4 its a one move squash against hawkins. >However, if Reigns is disqualified, he loses the title Last year he won the us title to keep him busy until mania season, then he lost it in a handicap match to Y2J. This year its the same shit, 5 years.
>>90917 So is ramen dropping the title tonight or at the Rumble ?
>>90922 They need the wwe universe to spend those network bucks, brother. HH
riottttttt's Twitter handle got updated. I would talk about something from the preview, but it's all pretty much nothing.
larrysteve looking real fat
>>90927 He's starting to look less like a cute piglet and more like your regular farm pig.
>>90927 >wacky pet pig with lolsorandum name xdddd fucking hate this midget
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>>90934 booleyfag detected
So I guess Jordan is the new Ramen, huh? What if I hate the current Ramen?
>>90939 You can still, since the shield reunion is ded because Dean is out with an injury. The fans have still been booing Ramen.
Only important thing is if she's on the show tonight. >>90938 The man with the mouth full of shit again.
>>90941 Yeah she really should be on, she is good at taking the pin.
>Tfw no ad free ram this week
>>90941 If she is, she's jobbing out to a low carder straight out of NXT again.
>that fucking Brock picture Did they take a new photo and put the work in to make him look fat?
>>90942 Asshole.
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>Bliss vs Asuka Who do I cheer for?
>>90947 Muh dick.
>>90947 >generic coward heel midget vs >wacky jap that must have dirt on someone to be always booked winning
Blissfags about to get BTFO tonight
>>90950 Booleyfag doesnt get btfo, he stays btfo.
>the women are going to have 30 entrants HOW? There aren't that many on all the combined categories!
>>90952 We're gonna need a few cross dressers.
>>90952 a lot of nxt callups
>Cesaro isn't wearing his mouthguard for the speaking Did Vince get pissed over the great shitposting?
>>90952 fucking god dammit *BRANDS >>90954 That's what I'm saying. I counted NXT, and got 19 total. 21 if you bring in the bellas. 22 if Steph gets in the ring.
>>90947 alexa would win a midget vs midget match >>90952 Sister Abigail debut leaked
>delivering THAT from outta nowhere
>YOU STILL SUCK chant Halfway there, they just need to integrate that into his theme.
>>90956 Wait no, make that 18 without Bellas and Steph, since Paige is out.
>le fire man
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>Burn it down >FREAKIN >The knee! Why is seth so cringe?
>current Jordan angle is "he's an amateur and needs to be trained" >forgetting that he passed NXT and spent a long time in American Alpha FIVE YEARS
>>90963 He's the first wrestler to win the nxt, SD and ram tag titles but he needs to learn how to be in a team.
>>90962 He wants to be hardcore but HHH wont let him Is he still using that shitty rain-trigger ripoff as a finish? That was pretty cringe aswell
>>90965 Yes that's what cole calls THE KNEE.
>First match of 2018 >This is boring chants
>cultmarx faggotry about nigger gangsters shooting each other
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>>90969 And that'll be the cringe midget
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>>90971 I'm okay with this. It's not like booley is going to take the title from Asuka.
>HE ALMOST HAD HIM <only a one
>>90973 haha she makes the same face like she just smelled a fart doesnt she have great facial expressions!!??!
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>>90975 Oooh haha fart, good one!
Bliss as been champ for over 50% of the time she's been on the main roster. Booley is getting pinned in 3v3 matches instead of the grandma jobber james. No contest here.
>Jordan wins >gets cheered
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>he's a punk >I punked him out
>>90979 God dammit why didnt he do this promo in chicago?
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ahh yezzir
>>90952 >>90956 RAW = 11 Alexa Alicia Asuka Booley Dana Mandy Mickie Nia Paige Sasha Sonya SD = 11 Becky Carmella Cherlotte Lana Liv Naomi Natalya Nikki jewby Sarah Tamina NXT = 11 Alliyah Bianca Billie Ember Kairi Lacey Nikki Peyton Taynara Vanessa Zelina 3 extra. Also take into consideration rumoured legends.
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>Bray vs DIFFERENT Matt Hardy in an actual match tonight Bo Wyatt soon
>>90982 >Lana Manager, not wrestler. >literal whos Did they add a bunch to NXT? I don't recognize most of those names. Who gets to be cucked out of the rumble? Booley?
>>90984 Lana's a wrestler, just not a good one.
Sasha's not even trying to read her lines.
>I want to shoot kick Paige in the back of the neck for no reason toss 29 other women over the top rope Sure thing, botcha. >Bray vs Apollo Crews instead of Matt for some fucking reason >giving Dana a NERD look
BLACKED WOOOOOOOOORLDWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE
>>90988 Remember when tozawa was in this stable?
>2018 is gonna be great for Titus Yea, him or Crews are gonna get fired this year
>All these plebs hating Sasha >Not liking her now that she took paige off tv
>>90991 >liking ugly apes
>>90991 I dont have to like one or the other.
>>90989 How about when Curt Hawkins ran it?
>>90991 If she wasn't a feminist-sjw bitch who supported hate groups like BLM, didn't earn her spot for being Snoop's cousin, and was actually good in the ring, I'd like her.
>>90995 And not being an ass-hole to everyone would help her career too.
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>>90991 >she took out paige wtf i love this horse faced annoying cringeworthy nigger cunt now
remember when bray was champion for like a month? me neither
>Bo and Curtis Axel join the new Wyatt family >Dana Brooke becomes Dana Wyatt >new Wyatt Family becomes the most dominant force in the brand
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GET FOR BO
>>90999 >>91000 I almost feel bad for you Wyatt fags
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>tfw taima host is playing shitty gook music during ads and when you try and mute it it opens up a scam ad page about bitcoins and how to get rich still better than paying 9.99
>>91002 Blame Reddit. Seriously, it's a stream from Reddit.
>>91002 >>91003 Oh wait you're on alt nvm
>>91002 >Using alt
ABSOLUTELY BLACKED
>>91002 >still better than paying 9.99 You don't get RAW on The WWE Network™ for only $9.99!
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WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF THE MATCH!?
>still using the autistic transition >still using the blue shower curtain background
>WWE even fucks up BROKEN matt JUST
I don't think people are even chanting for Matt anymore.
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>Matt
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>When people say they want Bo Wyatt
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>>91004 >>91005 Main doesn't work on my side, keeps freezing. Alt stream works atleast for me. >>91007 i wouldn't know I'm freebooting hard
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>Alexa's getting JUSTed
>>91011 >he didn't hear the DELETE chants
>>91013 Someone has to back Bray up when Jeff comes back
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>Alexa about to die
>state farm ad shows nigger kid stealing from the homeless then growing up to play music for them as a soldier How much more blatant can they get?
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>>91020 >this is what they've made Dustin Rhodes fall to
TIME FOR A WRESTLEMANIA CALIBER MATCH OHH MYYYYYYYYYYY ALEXA BLISS DELIVERING THE SPLASH!
>Maggle forgetting when to talk during the replay
KILL THE JEW ASUKA
>>91021 They should have him actually be Dustin Rhodes now that's he's shown to get over the last few times he was himself at house shows.
>drunk theme song time
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Remove kike
Gonna be sad to see her undefeated streak go on a non-PPV but oh well.
GO ASEXA TITS! KILL THAT GOOK!
>nerds actually care about wymyn's wrestling
Is the crowd dead or is Dunn rapid-fire muting it?
>>91031 Both?
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>>91030 I care when they're actually attractive
>>91031 Well if you'd watch the match, you'd realize that it's boring.
>>91034 >watching wymyn's wrestling
>>91035 Is that really from 2k18?
>>91035 >not watching solely for tits and ass
>>91036 Looks more like 2K14 or lower
>>91036 >Jack Swagger >2k18
>>91037 Asuka is pretty, but I've seen better tits on Japanese Av stars >>91035 Apparently the last 2 games look and play just as bad somehow.
>>91038 Yeah. Jack Swagger vs "HI my name is Dolph Ziggler" era Dolph Ziggler.
>>91036 >Is that really from 2k18?
>>91040 >play Sure. >look Maybe on console, but the level of detail and visual quality on PC is absurdly good.
this needs a Minoru Suzuki run in
>>91040 Comparing her to actual JAV stars is like racing a moped against an F1 car
>>91044 OH MY! WHAT'S THE ARTIST KNOWN AS SUZUKI DOING ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW?!
The crowd is fucking dead tonight. >>91043 Didn't we have a thread that 2k18 sucks? >>91045 True.
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ALEXAFAGS BTFO
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ALEXA PISS IS DEAD
>>91047 More of a wrestling vidya general, but >implying saying 2k18 looking good and having good customization means it's not a shitty game
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>>91048 >not being a hybrid Alexa + Asukafag
What the fuck is this gay ass suit Corey Gayves is wearing?
>>91048 >>91049 Meanwhile, Booley is on suicide watch
>>91052 Corey is 100% straight brother
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JUST >>91044 did someone say suzuki run
>>91052 >gives a shit about another man's clothes >IT'S EVERYONE ELSE WHO'S GAY I SWEAR
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>those sound effects
>armbar makes alexa tap <but alexa is double jointed wait wut
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>>91057 >implying
Ok, I love that burn Joe did to Renee and Dean.
>>91061 Renee is Dean's wife?
>>91062 Dean is Renees wife
>>91062 yeah bro dont you watch Total Divas™
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>>91063 >Renee is Dean's wife?
>>91064 Total Divas is entertaining at least
>Booley announces intent to go over the rope first at royar rubmre
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BYLY was lookin real cute there, like the new shirt
>Heath Slater vs Braun Strowman
>>91062 >>91063 When you think about it, yea. >>91067 That was cringier than Botcha's
>>91068 >trying this hard to dodge the filter
>Those empty seats
>>91071 I'm only calling her by her name, and her names not fucking "booley"
>>91068 Hope you liked it because that's the last you'll see Booley for tonight
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>former smackdown tagteam champions <do nothing but job on RAM
is booleyfag a work?
I'm going to get bored of BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUN if this is all he does outside of his actual matches.
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>Roman heel turn teased >>91077 Braun did nothing wrong.
If Jordan is supposed to be a face, they're not doing a good job making him likable.
>Brock talking sitting autistically while Paul Heyman talks is next >two loserweight shit matches left >roman noodles main event <still no BC return
>>91078 I can only take watching so many running powerslams before I stop caring. Let Braun talk more. He can actually work the mic really well.
>>91081 He's pretty good at shilling guns on a youtube channel, but the last thing the WWE wants to do is ruin the monster gimmick by making him talk too much. >>91080 Do they even remember Big Cass?
>>91077 >Punished Rhyno becomes a thing <segments of drinking and despair >mfw we're going back to Japari Park
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BRAUN STROWMAN IS GOING OVER BROTHER
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>>91083 Braun has a youtube guns channel? Link?
>>91076 Bay.ley is unironically better than just about anybody else in the women's division besides maybe asuka
No fucking way.
THE BULLET CLUB RETURNS IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING
HOLY SHIT
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its a year too late
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>Alimony Club might get unjusted
>>91087 She's only good at one thing: being a loser.
>>91087 Oh yea, she ain't suck your dick anytime soon.
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THE [LOUD CHEERING]
>Fake cheering for Ramen LOL!
>>91093 >sad How? >>91094 That's creatives fault you inbred hillbilly >>91095 >Sexualizing your wrestlefu
>>91095 >>91094 >>91093 She can put together a pretty good match given the right opponent and shes not a bad character. Her greatest flaw is having no guts and having to deal with the writers making her look like a geek. alexa looks 10x better but is seriously overrated
>$5k fine for shoving someone
>>91099 >wasting valuable headpats on a horse
>>91100 >given the right opponent <this is how you know she cant wrestle. A good wrestlers can make others look good, a bad wrestler has to be made to look good by others.
>>91099 >How? Creative gave up on her
>>91104 There's always time for red queen heel Booley.
That cut
>>91104 >Creative gave up on her I haven't
>>91103 shes good, not great. Some people are impossible to get a decent match out of (and most of them are women)
Cool, Booleyfag managed to get himself a spot in a planet fitness commercial.
>>91109 You lying son of a bitch.
>>91110 Nah, he was being serious. Holy fuck the state of booleyfag's autism.
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>>91111 Quads confirm.
>>91111 What do you want, dummy?!
Lets go Roman Roman sucks
Are you ready for Joe victory?
>A DQ means Joe wins Why wouldn't Joe secretly level with some jobber and have said jobber rush out and punch him in the face to get Roman DQ'ed?
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>>91115 Roman always wins baby, you can't beat Roman!
>>91116 Maybe that's where Jason Jordan comes in
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>>91116 >Why wouldn't Joe secretly level with some jobber and have said jobber rush out and punch him in the face to get Roman DQ'ed? Presumably the match stipulations are that roman reigns must disqualify himself in some way >Imb4 clean win for the Samoan
>>91100 Sounds like a loser and a bad wrestler to me
>being in such a sorry state you have to partner USA network/failing NFL to make a show about a guy looking for a team to like
BAH GOD HE MOVED THE 50000000000 TON STEEL CHAIRS
*STAIRS
>>91119 I feel like it's the kind of ridiculous thing that would be overlooked and could work in a storyline though. Thinking about it, it'd be a great way to build a cowardly heel up. Joe is not being built up a coward, I'm aware. I'm just saying as a possibility.
What a moron
>>91116 People have been asking that for decades. Finally they made a storyline where the referee actually had a brain and knew what was going on and threw the other dude out.
>roman wins through pure bullshit Fuck this.
RAMEN WINS LOL
WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR
>>91128 Slick black. The best moves.
Bullshit
>>91127 >>91131 You thought shit was gonna change?! >>91129 We got 364 more days to go before we have Worst Match of the Year. It was a bad match, but all of them have been bad.
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>>91132 Wrong.
>Paige is somehow up and talking after that neck kick
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>>91132 >You thought shit was gonna change?! Not enjoying the fuck out of Brauns dismantling of anyone and everyone, pleb.
>That poor mans LIJ shirt
>We see Paige's cleavage <Not Mandy Rose's Bullshit.
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(((Gulak))) is (((Gulak))), but his flat reading of Enzo's shit is funny.
Gulak is fucking gold.
>>91137 Or at least Sonya.
>Goldust WHAT
>Braun Strowman has no wining championships
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>>91138 I never want it to end >>91139 >This level of premonition
>This is the main event
Oh god yes
>Openweight Live
>the absolute state of 205 live
>Goldust teams with Cedric >inb4 it ends up being a repeat of the unfinished Goldust v R Truth feud
>cruiserweight
>>91148 Vince probably just thinks Cedric is Shelton and they're going to finish the angle as if Cedric is Truth.
>Booker T return teased MAKE IT HAPPEN
The cruiserweight division was a mistake —Neville
It's the deciding match. Are they the Bullet Club or the Cuck Club?
>>91150 Whatever happened to R-Truth anyway? He hasn't even gotten squash matches as a target like Goldust since the awful feud finished.
>That ass
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>>91154 Injured but they never mentioned it on TV like they do with most injuries.
The club
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>>91151 >Booker returns to feud with Jason Jordan and constantly tell him he's a keed who ain't got it
>>91159 Literally the only angle I'd enjoy right now.
>Jhon joins the rumble
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Goldust is thick
>>91160 >>91159 >inb4 if they do run it they ruin it by making Booker put Jordan over like Undertaker put Roman over
Jhon announced he will bury all the guys in the Royal Rumble while his slut fiance will bury all the women in their Royal Rumble. More news at 11.
Maggle's looking real old there.
WHO WANTS TO WALK
>>91163 >it's an I Quit match but instead of saying "I Quit" you have to say "You got what it takes, keed"
John Cena ruin the suspense
>>91166 Whit Elias
The best men in the industry is right here
BO
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>>91172 >Whit Elias
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>Killian Dain knock-off
Shitpost?
Will THE KING appear for the Memphis show?
Can Karl Anderson do a cutter please? Orton's on smaggledown anyways.
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>>91175 >Randy Savage knock-off
>ROHcucks are shitting up the RAM thread for no reason >just in time for the Bullet Club vs the Eliastourage
>lol ur cell phone plan sucks bcuz u got ticketed for speeding What a stupid commercial.
So is Bork so autistic he can only be on tv for 4 minutes?
https://twitter.com/NickJacksonYB/status/948037460784582656
>it's like having our oven right in your kitchen <b-but plz don't just make your own pizza without soy and cancer
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>>91180 >Womack knock-off
MARIAH CAREY BTFO
<Bo and Curtis get buried again >but The Club gets to look strong for once
>>91187 >bo and curtis buried They're comedy jobbers
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<it's a 2 minute squash match and Bo takes the pin <Bo may have been injured
>we'll never get another episode of talk'n shop
>>91190 Feels bad. The two part Good Brother Stone Cold podcast was pretty great though
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>>91188 YOU TAKE THAT BACK
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>>91183 Why'd you replace them with Cody then?
I miss big show
>>91193 Seriously. For all the shit talking they do of WWE, they sure are WWE midcarder marks.
THE PISS INCARNATE
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>ugh now i have to hop around for several minutes
We already know Kane is going to have the pin in that match
>>91195 I get being fans of someone with potential like Johnny Nitro, or Shelton. Cody could have been better, but at best he was the guys that the main eventers feud with.
Big Black Kock
>>91197 Why doesn't he ever actually do anything again?
>>91201 He was good at talking back in the day. I think he flubbed a promo on his second return.
>>91201 autism
>>91203 >>91202 That covers the promos, but what about doing matches?
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>>91201 CTE probably
>the jew has communication with the devil kek
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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH CHALLENGER BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BRRRRRRRRROCK LEZNUUUUURRRR
>>91207 >tfw no Brock vs Ishii
so are the good brothers face now or was that a one off? implying wwe knows what the fuck its doing
>upside down belt
>it's another 'Locker Room empties for no real reason' segment
>>91211 SEND OUT THE MIDCARD
>booleyfag gets denied again
>>91211 dude lesnar lmao
>>91213 Do what?
That was the most low effort one they did. Just crammed it in since they went over time again.
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>>91207 MY GOD ITS KANE
>>91213 >booley is now an eternal jobber confirmed
>show ends with little fanfare >all the "faces" had fake cheer noise pumped in
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for the love of god why is Jason Jordon being pushed so fucking hard what did this nigger do to deserve this kind of push he's terrible on the mic and stiff in the ring is he Vince's bull for Linda or what holy fuck someone stop this stupidity
>>91225 t. gable
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https://web.archive.org/web/20180102110435/http://fanbuzz.com/pro-wrestling/wwe/Booley-booking-wwe-creative-dave-meltzer/ JUST
>the dice has been cast
>>91201 Dude gets to fuck Sable every night. What else would you do?
>>91226 C'mon anon, are you saying you really think this nigger is entertaining and worth the push?
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>>91225 >ywn fuck Linda
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CUCKED BY BRAUN
>>91394 Alexafags ETERNALLY BTFO
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>>91394 did they?
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>>91394 >>91438 I wonder how big and thick Braun's cock is
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LOL
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>>91927 BOOLEY BTFO HAHAHAHAH
>>91927 He can get fucked. >>91934 You too.
>>91940 Not an argument.
>>91940 B-B-B–B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BTFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>91944 I don't care >>91947 Don't fucking shit talk here anymore.
>>91955 Reminder that booley is OFFICIAL GEEK OF THE YEAR
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