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>Long before I met my husband, Jacob and I decided that, if he wanted to have a child someday, I'd be there for him. Not just there for him emotionally, but physically, too. In other words, we would have a baby together, and although it would be ours, he would take on the majority of the responsibilities.
>We'd live separately, as we do now, and I'd get to be the "cool" aunt who got to do all the fun stuff that cool aunts get to do — like I am now with my nephews. To us, it seemed like the perfect solution to the hankering he had inside him to have a baby.
>I just don't see them fitting into my lifestyle, and although since getting married, I've thought about having one, perhaps, I still lack the urge and motherly instinct that comes with strongly wanting to procreate. Maybe I'll change my mind someday, but I imagine if it didn't hit me by now, as a woman in her mid-30s, there's a good chance it will never come at all. But all that thinking is something I'd be willing to shelf for Jacob.
>When I talk to people about Jacob and how I'd rather have a child with him as opposed to my partner, they just don't get it.
>They see it as some sort of insult to my husband as if I'm suggesting that I don't want his child. But the way I see it is that, for starters, my husband already has a kid from a previous marriage, and since I'm not exactly mom material, why would I not want to offer up my uterus and an egg to someone whom I love dearly who wants a child?