>>29951 So you think you got it all figured out don't ya?

>>29951 Incorrect. The ACTUAL reason is that JJJ is a cunt.

kek

>>30780 Hey. I thought this was America! Jameson has freedom of religion, just like everyone else.

>Batman is a member of the gentry that underwent extreme levels of combat training since boyhood and uses that training with his very expensive equipment to dominate lesser combatants >just like a medieval/early renaissance knight >that is why he's the Dark Knight >it's not just that he's a mysterious avenger

>>30785 Except he wasn't trained since boyhood. He sought training once he became a man who could travel freely to get training. His family wasn't some ancient order of warriors grooming him in the art of combat.

>>30788 They usually say he started training when he was a kid. Maybe not training with mystic masters around the world yet, but studying and working out and stuff like that, at least.

>>30790 I wouldn't call school work "training".

>>30790 >They usually say he started training when he was a kid. He started gymnastics and working out while reading a lot as a kid, absorbing everything he could. Byrne's version of the origin mentions that he gave college a try before he realized that they could only teach him about law, not justice.

>>31428 Bruce at college would only make sense if he's focusing on engineering & chemistry. Going to law school wouldn't help him as Batman.

>>30797 It's not just school work. Private study and practice to hone his mind and body. It's not like he was just doing normal school shit and then going to a regular karate class after school. He's the richest kid in the world and could do whatever he wanted. >>31431 You could say he went to law school only to realize the law wasn't enough, and that encouraged him to become a vigilante. The original Batman eventually became a cop and replaced Gordon as Commissioner, though, so if anything I'd say he originally wanted to be a cop, only to realize that wasn't good enough. But then a rich kid like him only going to police academy and not a fancy college would be stupid. So law is close enough.

>>31431 >Going to law school wouldn't help him as Batman. Anon, I...

>>31444 Oh wow one silly old story where he acts as a lawyer. That definitely proves me wrong. Also I'm pretty sure there's all kinds of legal problems in of itself for a masked vigilante to act as a lawyer in a court of law even if he is qualified. Which he couldn't be because his real self would be but not the costumed identity. He'd have to give out his real identity to begin with.

>>31444 Its funny because he clearly has no idea how the law works.

>>31452 Laws in the DCU are fucked due to the existence of superheroes. There is much precedent for treating their masked identities as their own legal identities with all the benefits that would come for a regular citizen. Batman may very well have a law license that is entirely separate from Bruce Wayne. He is also an official deputy of the Gotham City Police Department. Bruce Wayne isn't. Or actually he might be, but separately from Batman. Superman is also an official member of his local police force. When The Flash was tried for the murder of Eobard Thawne, The Reverse Flash, which everyone saw him do in front of tons of witnesses, and he readily confessed to (the case was over whether it was self-defense or not), the state let him keep his secret identity the entire time, trying him as The Flash, not even asking him to unmask. They also let him out on $0 bail even though they knew for a fact he definitely broke that guy's neck on purpose. Even if the victim was The Reverse Flash, who was actively about to kill Flash's wife (and already killed his previous wife), still, letting him do the trial under an alias is pretty fucked. Also, Flash was acquitted after Reverse Flash showed up alive again, but then it turned out that it wasn't even the real Reverse Flash, it was Abra Kadabra disguising himself as Reverse Flash. Nobody pointed out that that meant Flash's charges shouldn't have been dropped, and he should have had to go back to court. Flash immediately proved he was a flight risk by escaping to the 30th century. I mean theoretically the courts could have had a 1000 year warrant out for him once he got there, but they didn't. Reverse Flash did show up alive again 25 years later (or 2975 years earlier), for real this time, but that's all beside the point, because the warrant should have at least been out for those 25 years. Flash did come back in time to die again shortly after the moment he left for the future, but they knew he was still alive in the future even after he died in the present, so the warrant should have still been out for him until Reverse Flash showed up alive again for real. >tl;dr: The point is that the laws of the DCU are actively bent to cater to superheroes. Batman being a lawyer makes perfect sense in that world.

>>31462 You're making a lot of excuses for inconsistent plot convenient writing.

>>31452 >That definitely proves me wrong. I wasn't really trying that hard to prove you wrong, I just thought it was funny as hell that I got a hit for my "batman lawyer" search and that the prosecution was Superman. This isn't proof or anything, but I've seen origins where Bruce gets all he can out of higher education in several different fields and then moves on, being mocked for not sticking it out for even one class while he'd actually absorbed the entire curriculum in less than a month. So, to get back to what you said >Going to law school wouldn't help him as Batman. That's simply not true. Being a vigilante who DOESN'T want to get shot by the cops requires an excellent understanding of the law and what he can and cannot do. So I believe Bruce got as much as he could out of Law and moved on, just like everything else.

>>31474 Law school isn't needed for a VIGILANTE to avoid the cops. What're they gonna do? Arrest the man in a flying bat jet?

>>31476 Okay lets just backup. Your a cop and you leave the station to see a man tied up on the doorstep with a note saying "this dudes a criminal lock him up" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA CHARGE HIM WITH? In the original stories Batman seemed aware that he couldnt jail or charge criminals and just beat them up to scare them out of a life of crime. l get that. But like. If he had any understanding of the law he wouldnt torture criminals to get more info, he wouldnt "drop them off at jail", and he damn sure wouldnt go around breaking the fucking speed limit in a goddam rocket car. Like hes commited way more crimes than anyone else in Gotham.

>>31477 Batman only respects the law when it's plot relevant, like when they had Joker on death row for a crime he didn't commit, as opposed to the dozens if not hundreds he did commit, so Batfag made an entire case to get him off the hook.

>>31477 >he wouldnt torture criminals to get more info He doesn't actually torture them. He just scares the ever living shit out of them.

>>31477 Uh yeah. Especially if you ask the commissioner & he says yeah it's cool. He's got an in with the police. Most of the time he can give evidence to Gordon or other cops no issue. Or just leave the criminals for them to pick up.

>>31479 I'd love to see an Elseworlds where Bruce kept the ring. We all know he'd be the head of the Batman Corps within a month.

>>31465 I'm not making anything. I'm explaining things that happened in continuity. Its canon that the DCU has different laws to deal with the existence of superheroes. I dont see how you can say I'm making excuses when I'm saying those laws are fucked up. This is the universe where Lex Luthor was elected president of the United States despite previously being convicted of all manner of supervillain crimes, the most recent of which was breeding an army of superman clones in an attempt to take over the world, but he got away with it by making a new clone body (he was already in a clone body by that point) that he claimed was the original, then saying the second clone body had it's own personality, and was actually the one who committed all the crimes, even the ones done when he was in his first body. (All three bodies were at different ages and looked very different to the public.) He claimed body 3 was actually body 1 and went into hiding when a clone went rogue and took over his life, then transferred his mind into a new body when the first clone body (which didnt exist) got cancer (really his real self got cancer and put his brain in the clone body). Anyway this all worked to get him off the hook with the authorities, and he then successfully ran for president. When this third body was convicted of using his Presidential authority to build a giant tractor beam to catch a kryptonite meteor and hurl it at the earth (so Superman would save the earth but die in the process), he laid low for a while and then claimed that the Luthor who came back after his clone got convicted was actually a doppelganger from a different universe that didnt exist anymore. (This doppelganger did exist and was more evil than him, but didnt do this particular thing). So as far as the public was concerned, the President of the US during 9/11 was actually an evil doppelganger for a different universe, and Lex Luthor, celebrity CEO akin to Donald Trump, was secretly in hiding from the late 80s to the late 2000s, because two separate people, first a clone and then an alt universe doppelganger, stole his identity and tried to take over the world (and the second effectively did). They bought these excuses entirely and Luthor has since contemplated running for President again, going for a Cleveland and hoping to win on two non consecutive occasions. But as far as the public and law are concerned, that wasnt really him who was the 42nd president anyway, it was his alt universe doppelganger. The point is that the laws and governments of the DCU are totally fucked. Marvel too but I like DC more. >>31477 Batman is an official deputy and has all sorts of legal authority and immunity. He shouldnt, the laws are fucked to allow that, but its canon. Well, its canon sometimes. It depends on when the story takes place. He has gained and lost this authority on several occasions. Also, a lot of the really fucked up supervillains would have been doing things in public and therefore even if batman broke the law, they could still have enough proof to convict the villains anyway. And sometimes it's a plot point that they do get away with it due to improper procedure. Like with Luthor. That's his standard excuse. Superman is an actual deputy and can legally arrest people, but sometimes he is too busy off fighting on Warworld or whatever and cant show up to court, and therefore Luthor's lawyers can get him off on that technicality.

>>31541 You really can't say anything's canon without using actual modern examples. Because nothing stays consistent & DC constantly is rebooting but not really their universe all the time.

>>31551 >but not really That's the key. Everything is canon unless directly contradicted. Even if indirectly contradicted, it's still canon with slight changes to make the contradiction not a contradiction. The clearest example is probably how after Crisis on Infinite Earths Wonder Woman was rebooted and her first appearance was now after the Crisis. But the Justice League still existed for as long as before (ten years before the crisis, in universe). They just said that whenever you read an old Justice League story, post crisis it still happened, but imagine Black Canary there instead of Wonder Woman. Flashbacks to old stories, like in Identity Crisis, even redraw panels and just replace Wonder Woman with Black Canary. Now when the two of them are in a story together? Uh... it happened slightly more differently. You can imagine how on your own. Dont worry about it. A more recent example would be when New 52 had Carter Hall realize he was actually Katar Hol with amnesia. But this was treated as a new Katar Hol, not the previous one that died in the 90s. So effectively a reboot. But then they revealed the old Carter Hall was still alive the whole time but trapped in the Dark Multiverse, so the pre-Flashpoint stuff was still canon, too. This means there are three Katar Hols, the pre-Crisis one (who was revealed to be an evil spy the whole time in the 90s), the 90s one (whose body became the host for the merged spirits of Carter and Carter's wife Shayara before Katar and Shayara's spirits moved on to heaven so now Carter has the memories of all three and also Katar II's body), and the New 52 one. Also all three Katars used the secret identity of Carter Hall, out of pure coincidence, because their names sounded similar. Anyway the point is they're all canon, and even in the early New 52 era when it looked like they weren't, it just meant you weren't thinking hard enough about how they could be.

>>31557 >That's the key. Everything is canon unless directly contradicted. That's bullshit.

>>31558 Bullshit as in stupid? That's subjective. But bullshit as in not true? No, it's how it's explicitly worked since the Crisis on Infinite Earths. Actually, since the multiverse was first created with the introduction of Barry Allen, then Flash of Two Worlds, Crisis on Earth-One, and whatever story first bothered to treat Superman, Batman, Robin, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, and Aquaman of Earth-Two as separate characters. Action Comics #1 officially takes place on Earth-Two, as do most other stories from before 1954 (that's when they did a story that claimed it was the first team-up of Batman and Superman, which meant the Justice Society wasn't canon, which meant this was a new universe). But there was no neat cutoff point. All those Golden Age stories were still considered canon, except for the explicit contradictions. That "first" team-up of Superman and Batman treated the issues right before as canon, which treated the issues before them as canon. They just forgot that Superman and Batman were honorary members of the Justice Society. Later, Flash of Two Worlds gave them a convenient excuse to say that those stories took place on Earth-Two, and the ones that were implied to take place on Earth-One, by the fact that later issues continued their continuity but with contradictions, did still happen, just with little alterations to make those contradictions no longer be contradictions. Note that sometimes they still just fuck up in ways that aren't fixed even by these bullshit near-catch-all explanations. For example, in Swamp Thing (2011) #1, which came out the first week of the New 52, right after Flashpoint, Alec Holland wakes up alive again after being dead for a long time. This is a direct continuation from the end of Brightest Day, which ended the week before. Old pre-Crisis continuity established that Alec Holland wasn't really Swamp Thing, as we thought in the earliest issues. Holland died but his mind was imprinted upon an artificial swamp creature that then thought it was Alec but later learned it wasn't really. This persisted through many "reboots," including Crisis on Infinite Earths, Zero Hour, Infinite Crisis, and Flashpoint. Brightest Day then involved the real Alec Holland coming back to life. Flashpoint happened directly after, so if you didn't know that it happened in Brightest Day, you could almost think Holland being alive again was an effect of Flashpoint, but it wasn't. In Swamp Thing (2011) #1, Superman meets Holland and talks about how he came back to life before too and knows it's weird. Holland quickly ends up becoming Swamp Thing for real this time, and the series is now about him. He even meets the previous Swamp Thing, the one the series was always about before, and who has all of Alec's memories from before he died, and also all the memories from all previous Swamp Thing stories. Anyway I don't just bring that up to talk about how Swamp Thing canon has never been significantly fucked with. I bring it up because Post-Flashpoint Superman said he died before. New 52 rebooted Superboy (Kon-El) and gave Steel a new origin that was closer in time to Superman's first appearance instead of after Superman's death, but we were clearly supposed to figure that The Death of Superman still happened, only Steel already existed and Kon-El didn't play a part in it. Or maybe we could say the Pre-Flashpoint Kon-El was a different guy, but well he was never mentioned again, at least. There was also a new Cyborg Superman appearing in Supergirl stories, but he was such a different guy from the previous Cyborg Superman, Hank Henshaw, that there was no reason to think they couldn't both exist. Later, Doomsday would reappear and they didn't act like it was his first appearance. Eventually, Superman died again in a separate, very different story. The Superman of a splinter timeline that split off right before Flashpoint then came to the main universe and merged with the soul of the dead main universe Superman, which merged their histories and therefore the history of the universe. One of the explicit differences pointed out between them here was that The Death of Superman storyline only happened to the Pre-Flashpoint Superman, despite Post-Flashpoint Superman explicitly referencing it on several occasions, including the very first week of the New 52. In short, they fucked up. They should have just continued acting like all previous stuff was still canon unless directly contradicted, which is what they were doing most of the time, but in that one story, Superman Reborn, they wanted to differentiate the two Superman, and thus fucked up and said Post-Flashpoint Superman didn't do something they already said he did. Now, there are still other explanations for this. Plotholes are baked into the plot itself. Things like Superboy-Prime punching reality being used to explain things that would otherwise be plotholes between Zero Hour and Infinite Crisis. Right around the time of Superman Reborn (the story where I'm saying they made this mistake) they did make it a plot point that so many Crisis-esque events happening so close to each other (Darkseid War and Convergence, primarily) was weakening reality itself and breaking things, AKA causing reality to warp, AKA causing plotholes. Also the existence of guys who can straight up warp reality like it's no big deal, and the existence of guys who exist outside of the main continuity and are essentially just avatars of the writers and editors and even readers, and thus shape reality itself, and things like characters sometimes being able to escape their continuity and write in their own books to change their own history, all makes the few remaining plotholes easy enough to gloss over. But yes, some unexplained ones still happen. But in general, anything from before a Crisis that isn't explicitly contradicted still happened. Action Comics #1 is still canon, just Superman's name is Kal-El now, not Kal-L. Hell, Detective Comics #1 is still canon. Slam Bradley still went around stomping chinks in the past of current continuity. Actually the bad guy from the cover of that came back as a major villain in that book about the chinese knockoff of Superman in like 2016. I bet New Fun Comics #1 is still canon. Though frankly, I have no idea the last time western hero Jack Woods was actually referenced. But his existence also wouldn't contradict anything, so it would be stupid to say it's not canon. It's just not terribly relevant.

>>31564 Yeah you're just autistic.

>>31566 It takes a very high IQ to untangle the infinite mess of wires that is DC canon. And even if you're done, you'll look back and realize there's still knots/plotholes everywhere that aren't actually addressed by all the fucky wucky timey wimey bullshittery. Anon's autism is commendable, but I wish he focused on something that isn't an eternal dumpsterfire.

>>31653 Too true. It's not worth jumping down the rabbithole.

>>31653 The ultimate final in-universe justification for things that otherwise seem like plot holes is that the stories acknowledge they're fictional and the creators appear as themselves, or sometimes a writer will put in another creator as a villain, like Mandrakk the vampire monitor essentially being greedy editors and other higher ups who drain the creative energy from the stories and suck out all the imagination. So any things that seem like plot holes are actually the result of near-omnipotent gods, the actual creators of the comics, fucking up both in real life and in universe. And they then acknowledge that the universe is breaking and becoming weaker because of these things. So there is still an ultimate explanation that covers everything. Not that it really justifies it, but they have made good stories out of that justification. >>31658 But it's fun.

>>31714 No. Eldritch madness is not fun.

That cartoon made me get /fit/ because everyone, even J.J. and the evil science dude in a wheelchair, were buff as fuck.

>>29951 The reason why Duckman is a disgusting being is because it's on his nature, ducks are disgusting creatures who'd treat like shit to their offsprings.