>>5058 >made sense why you feel an absolute hatred towards society and why you feel it emanating from the land It's not just hate it's more like realizing i shoved down my nature at a very young age as it was incompatible with this whole "being modern human" thing and created an autistic persona as it was the only way to act human enough around people and my own family. I feel alienated from it all i could never conform to this it's just asinine how this is considered normal. The funny thing is that there is layer of that realization layers and layers so many of them, so some people start scratching the surface in their teenage years "fuck society" type shit but then conform into a drone and even if they're aware "as long as i have my family :)" bs But for me the whole thing is wrong i could never play this modern human i just hid myself long enough to get a chance to emerge once all things are clear. tbh even here i do it just "much less" so it's closer to a real "me" but it's also just an outer layer to interact with people the thing is i am absolutely terrified of being alone so if people here judged me and stopped talking to me i might collapse on myself and turn into something evil.. But i have hidden plans for everything it seems so i wouldn't be surprised if a me hidden away somewhere appeared to "kill the beast" with a spear of thunder and flames if that happened. I feel so lonely cuz no one gets me and so i have to interact with what they think of me or something acceptable. Spirits do the same if you expect a goat demon that's what will come, a beautiful girl? a talking horse? anime character? sure! but that's taxing and there is always the risk of dirtying yourself or getting rekt by the human cuz he freaks out. But yeah layers layers, some of it you're conscious some of it is very deep. Like how someone from the astral plane isn't that hard to talk to but someone communicating from the mental plane is creepy as fuck to a human because it feels like having no free will even though it's not true you just don't have a good awareness of that area and think of it in humans ways..ugh >This is your "poetic phase" I was gonna talk about how the male and female selves interact how it's like two clans of many different selves, how it's like a lady and captain in a raging sea both being essential if you ever wanna get out, how it used to be a fleet and now it's only one ship for me but also the sea is..and the gods really are..ugh cant say that now How one can overpower the other or use the other and how you can fuck up like that..but i am tired > I have completely nonsensical dreams with events and people are tied together with 0 logic or with minimal symbolism Logic? which one? Dream logic is still logic, it's just the rule of that realm each realm has it's logic.. but symbolism is weird, it just means what it means on the moment, it use the most used/recent pathways shit you can connect to y'know? even if just subconsciously. Personally what matters is how i feel after the dream, i then unravel that feeling and try to get a lesson. I feel gross why? i feel scared why? it's so spooky i don't even dare look at it?? why? then there are distractions but it's like traps in thinking, super annoying stuff. Like you get close and a music come in your head or you remember something important or whatever man, it's just part of it, a head sprout every time i cut one fking hydra! Some of them take you for a ride too but it's also done "willingly" on some layer, btw you have a talent to snap me out of it. > I am stuck in this "intellectual wizard" stage which is great for writing grimoires after grimoires but not enough for "true magic". The thing is i got mad at writers of occult books for either not getting their future readers or trying to shove their thinking into my throat not leaving any leeway to the student...but They are product of their time y'know? i was thinking if i was born in the 20th century maybe i would have liked being part of an occult brotherhood or whatnot, maybe i would have seen society as something necessary and progress as being good, maybe i would have enjoyed my life too? But i notice it with people my age this absolute alienation from everything, this feeling of "there is no fixing this let's go back to nature" "i want no part in this" etc So yeah this could happen with whatever we write here, people in the future won't be able to relate. It's kinda like the gods the ancients text and stuff it speaks to a particular subset of people where you start being attracted to a particular god for "some reason", but also we can make use of it but also the current or the "path" hasn't been used in a while so it kinda feels dead and void of meaning but to the people of the time it was perfect for their level but now the humans are even dumber so you need to spell it out and hit them in the head and be super mean or else they want to kills u it's also why people don't believe in good gods anymore. But anyway basically calling the earth "mommy Gaia" might have awaken up some old initiation thing process? The gods as a map? Oh look it's Artemis whatcha doing in my head i thought it wad Demeter time wdym you're me?! Don't blame me i like sardines and olives. >Just tried and a dark snake hissed in anger yeah there are many of those...btw i realized we are different so i am not even trying to look at you or anyone else so i am just gonna share my view on things. >besides that I am learning to not look for deeper meaning within everything Tell me about it! The thing is i am realizing i am maintaining society in a way and if i stop expecting it thing start to somehow "collapse" like if i don't expect a building to be here it might be different next time and how i am like a kid holding the dirt kicking and screaming and saying "NONONONO!!" but anyway painful stuff tbh. >Just going though the realization how every thought have an "anti-thought" within you so you can "switch" whenever you want to exercise your free will. And the goal is to go behind that duality and find a "3rd position" For me it's more like, y'know a visual novel. you can choose a route but the others are in the code of the game also. So really all choices are made and not made and how when i awaken i can even unmake my mistakes, like a layered cakes, all actions happened but they are unmade and remade by the divine but mistakes aren't even..ugh It's all an illusion anyway but god's power are making sense now. >it makes me realize that the human mind is not as easy to switch as I did in my previous psychic years. I wanna upgrade it, i wanna play around with the kids but like how i want y'know? but also i am benevolent so..wanna be good to them at their level one day i think? idk what am i tbh I don't wanna float away i wanna be everywhere and nowhere i want to enjoy myself in myself. >you cannot break apart the bedrock that simply. Volcanoes erupt and continents break apart.

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Yeah i need a deeper understanding, it's all the elements like understanding what is rot? what is fermentation? what is behind it all? How does the universe "dies"? how is it "born"? It's making that whole thing internally and it become externally also and it become one and boom bam god! > You can "set a course" and then you don't "walk it" but your legs merely follow it the best they can and if your energies are clean and proper your legs will move with the most efficient least resistance way. I mean yeah that's what we're doing no? following a plan of our "higher selves" lol It's just that i lost contact with that layer and am only now starting to understand it better. You can't hear much under a ton of shit..but that's also within the plan of an even higher layer! >The loss of control annoys me because I cannot accept that I am in full control. You are you're just not aware of it! Basically like you're you and that's okay! No seriously it's hard af but also the easiest thing ever. >tho I made the ground disappear several times but I realized how I can levitate... For me it's more like realizing this body is just a construct anyway but still "precious" and how everything is alive and how i can remake myself from any materia by evolving the roots or dirt and shit into usable form. like yeah i can be destroyed but i could remake myself from your heart if you're dirty enough you'd accept my cleanse ! That's why i need to really internalize the purification, though i also have to stop being a loner and realize that it's ok to be helped by spirits that i am helping them too and that i can learn from them that i am not my current actions or mistakes it's about not rejecting myself in others etc etc I became a tree the other day and made friend with one he gave me the title "keeper of the trees" told me to use that "title" if i am ever attacked by nature funny guy btw he had a part missing and i wanted to curse "badly" the person who did that but he made me calm down. >I know when I am in the "zone" and I can hear my mind "booting up" when I get close Well i got behind the awareness observing my thought and then idk my mind just started doing the right things to cleanse me proper but also was spooked at how it wasn't "me" doing it..practice.. >Whenever I notice my contradicting thoughts a meridian twitches through my entire body. My nerves need some rest My body almost shut down on me the other day, my sclera was grey and i felt like dying so i really needed to take the time to rest. For me real resting is like just letting the energy flows without judgment without stopping it but also with a faith in myself that i can handle anything and everything it's not even "rest" it's painful af but after that i felt alive for the first time in decades. >They were good women good wives and one was even a nun <“A flower raised in a greenhouse is still beautiful, even though it knows no adversity. But a flower growing in the field that has braved wind, rain, cold, and heat possesses something more than just beauty. It's form Higurashi. I mean look at us we could all be good in the golden age but shining in the shit age is what's really impressive! Everything degenerated and even though i am furious about it i also pity them because they can't handle it but us here we have potential we believe in ourselves more and more and little by little we shine through the shit without losing ourselves! >They are here but their "job" is unclear to a degree. This one is funny, when i was idk like 14? i was gonna make some servitors fill them up with all my current knowledge so that if i die they join me back in my next life.. Imagine my surprise when it's happening in this life.

>>5058 > A long story with many plotholes so I dislike talking about it. Yeah there are many things i don't like talking about but i am still unsure why. I am more confident but still so lonely.. >I have problem accepting "How easy it can be". k fine it's acceptance. but I meant more of a "blending of wills" in a way. Need to somehow satisfy all the selves even if some just want to die lol. But it wasn't easy no? fighting this conditioning to even start thinking "hey maybe magic is real" even that took decades! For me it's easy in the sense that it's the most natural thing ever, it's literally our purpose as humans, it's hard in the sense that this world is rotten but also part of the all and also find god in it lol. That's why for me it's a natural process i have to get where all variation from the natural course can be explained with a natural strife for balance when this plane reach such a state only a god can fix it..but uh y'know i think of this era like a harvest festival but..painful to talk about. >don't masturbate and the energies will flow That's a general advice so i'll just talk about it but like it's hard to tell people what to do without turning into dogma and it's a case by case basis unless you follow a system. But sex can make or unmake you, some people lose themselves in it so it's better to tell them to limit it so they don't fall back into animals and get more chances as humans, but also someone who cuts it and be like "god this god that" just float to a better realm and fall back here eventually which is crap. But like for me it comes with the development of a white kirin horn as male essence it's made from condensed sperm in a way that way i always have a bit shooting upward but also a tail that reach deep as a downward spiral but also the acceptance of female aspect of sexuality fully which is only available in a succubus form but i need access here to be whole and fix this human half animal half god bs which awakened some crazy sexuality where i want to be raped but also conquer the rape with sex which after further understanding make the horn and tail work together to "eat the lust" but that's also a half truth and it's a kind of fall over the lust and drool but also keep the goal in the higher mind bridging the gap and flowing the energies up.. now it's a matter of clearing the blockages and curses placed on me as i feel the base of my spine burn in a crazy internal orgasm but need to clear the river for it to reach higher.. and yes it burns it almost hurt but fuck it feels like the best thing ever. I was relaxing the other day trying to heal my left side, put some creamy white slime structure and it gave me a white lion tail then a fiery tail and now it's a demon tail doing a downward spiral to the underworld. but yeah that's the idea, i don't care if i am making a mistake right now that's how i learn and i know i can handle everything, i can somewhat "sense" the future already it's just a matter of handling it and the first step here is to fix this shame and activate my sexuality in whole and there is layer of it layers and layers spheres withing spheres the chakra system is useful but that's like a 3D shadow of layers within layers. > the problem is not my female part but the "Male part" that she is also overseeing and that part is not exactly incarnated within me yet My idea was to "eat" the male with the female but idk yet tbh. It's hard to understand. Maybe we need alchemists to decipher it kek. >will devour everything else but you But bruh what am i? I don't know where my minds ends and other begins! It's spooky! Everything is me and not me at once, talking to normies give me the feeling of talking to a servitor i make on the spot i can feel myself in them! i am even getting a taste in how the astral "descends" into physical now necessary for shapeshifting and any creation/manifestation but bruh.

>>5295 >because weakness angers me and I rather kill myself than to be weak It's ok to be weak it's ok to cry it's ok to have a fucking tantrum on the internet that one is for me You process all the emotions and see through it/behind it you hold it like a child in your awareness it's you it's from you but it's also not you! But what i want to say is me too have to meet and fuck then become death but also we truly are the divine and there is no mistakes in god.something like that. Ok basically be yourself! But seriously so many traps in thinking so many knots and loops that you have to fall for so many bs..even now i am still..fuck Might talk about something weird that happened when i was 8 a type of "hypnosis" but..still too painful i am still looking for answers on that. What i forgot to say was that my whole body is "vomiting" the stagnation and it's like sand and also mud and blood from the head like opening up. And that i have roots now and i am growing pink passion flowers after growing lilies and poisonous flowers on my vines.

Okay might as well share some exercise i do. >make water in form of egg >the outer layer keeps it egg-shaped >it looks like the hue/glow of the earth seen from "space" >it cools you down it's comfy and safe >it's astral but also physical but also all the other things >it's also you but also you're in it >feel the water spinning on your skin >it's also ok to let it do what it wants or spin slowly or stay still >it's about feelings okay! >feel it inside your organs as well getting in you through your pores >It's everywhere let it move how it wants >now try to feel it physically more and more but also noticing how it is still astral and etheric. You can reach a point where the water is almost "there" physically, i noticed some "humidity" feeling on my skin as i did that. the water can be programmed to cleans or whatnot can be made more heavy or lighter slime baths are cool, but i am mostly letting my higher mind control it as it's more efficacious than my definition of "cleanse" on my level. I do that to awaken my whole "energetic body" i really dislike labels though it's just a feeling. It's part of my shapeshifting training and to further my understanding of the water element but also has to do with the "just be" of animal nature. I also learnt how to sync my mind waves with a dance..yay shamans! But yeah this teach to have an awareness of the entire body including the organs and the other bodies. I am positing here because might be dangerous for some as it can pull all the dirt at once and force you to deal with it especially when you are self sabotaging yourself with your shadows :D

>>5389 >pic related This image is interesting you can think of the water as the air or the ground it's all about imagination and going beyond human understanding and it's about your own ways and not just doing what others do and... I have the unpleasant feeling I have been saying the same thing over and over through different understandings...a Kirin mmm

Man this is so complicated. So the Kirin horn and the tail have to connect fully to the body and "communicate" but since my body is trashed out this makes it hard. My "ideal body" which i use as a map had hooves for the last 2 days, glad i took the time to write as now i know it's about the Kirin, though i do sound even more insane uh? I woke up with pain and was squirming in bed thought i was dying for a second but then a voice said <calm down this is the result of your training let it happen And i got a vision of something shaped like a mace having 4 uh claw like structure on top now more touching my curse which followed with me vomiting worms, but like not a hundred or thousands BILLIONS. It's still going on, it comes in waves, and the relief is amazing they latch into a belief a feeling really anything and i have to pass through it with acceptance but also non-attachment for it to pass further. It's quite painful and straining tbh. In hindsight i hate my family even more yes also something i have to deal with as they latch into that too, what a shit heritage to leave to your kids..Kali yuga i guess I thought i'd explain the curse, it's a type of worm like being latching into the nervous system where the genitals and rectum connects, but it also has to do with sexuality i believe but that's just the visible part of it. My current theory is that it's not a curse but more like a "blessing" that got dirtied over generations to become this hell i am dealing with now. Kinda like how if you seal something you need to let some energy pass through in and out but if it gets clogged it gets covered in shit and can't flow for millennia and now someone has to clean that up...fuck Also when i tried to look into it the image of a cube inside a spiral came in my mind but this simply means a "storage structure" to me so it could just mean that thing "store karma" but..unsure

I feel like we are at different stages of awakening and existence which might cause problems as we talk but whatever am gonna type a little >>5386 >a very young age as it was incompatible with this whole "being modern human" thing and created an autistic persona as it was the only way to act human enough around people and my own family. I have something similar. I can only "Obey" or follow people if they are truly above me. In an energetic wisdom authority and purity level. And for that to happen I had to generate an "NPC" part of my consciousness to be able to be part of the "education system" at all. I am not saying I am "too smart" because my main knowledge base is so different that I cannot call that "smart" in the modern definition of smart at all. Figuring out that everyone is mentally or emotionally retarded around me and that is the reason why most of my own patterns are wrong was the worst. But whatever there are worse fates than this. Thx to the internet I could manage. Humans never had this much knowledge at their disposal with mere material means. >I feel alienated from it all i could never conform to this it's just asinine how this is considered normal. I don't really grasp how you handle people fam. You seem somewhat sociable in a way but yes I can relate to the asinine retardation of the mundanes and normalfags too. >so some people start scratching the surface in their teenage years "fuck society" type shit but then conform into a drone Somehow I never did that. I had plans how to use people and positions as "societal jump-pads" and was thinking in ways how to blaze through the ranks then I realized I have psychic powers and magic is real and how everything is controlled by the shadows since forever thus mundane pursuits are meaningless and the only thins I need is to have a way to pursue my path and everything else is secondary. Was weird seeing how the principles I wanted to actualize for my mundane political pursuits started to manifest in the leadership of the politicians I supported... well it turned out that the shamans of my country had a way with the great tree and they knew how to communicate and enhance the kings and other rulers in the past and that system just needed a little reboot. It's fucking weird how country egregores work in some cases. No wonder we don't have NWO publicly at all. If you can unite it in a single system you are God in the flesh level and not in a shady organization as theirs. >i could never play this modern human Times changing. We are the future. Whatever you become will become the future human and the collective will slightly shift into that direction. If you clean your timeline you will meet with more weirdos that are on your frequency thus make a way towards a better future that aligns with your energies better. It's not without pain and effort tho. >to get a chance to emerge once all things are clear. Let's do it >tbh even here i do it just "much less" so it's closer to a real "me" but it's also just an outer layer to interact with people Yeah it is obvious you are unsure which side of yours you should "present" at all. Seems like you snapped out of your poetic phase again. >i am absolutely terrified of being alone Why? Did you find out the reason for that? Personally I have 2 types of people I have around. The first type are my "reality check" people who are normies but remind be about the current state of humanity so I don't desync too much from society. The others are "inspiration" that grant me a "reason" to stay around as a human and pursue my path while still within this life. /fringe/ is one of my inspiration and didn't really want it to vanish. This is why I keep posting. >so if people here judged me Yes that is an insecurity you will have to tackle. It stems from the lower chakras which you have problem with. Personally I like to be judged but only with constructive criticism that can help the improvement of my expression and not by buzzwords or memes that people are not even willing to elaborate on. >and stopped talking to me My problem was always "being alone while having people around" when people are not willing to understand so I have to conform to their views constantly and get down to their level then they hate people that are on their level because of some weird self hate. Never really know what to do with them. Also as long as you post here you will get replies that will match the length of your post within 3 days lol >turn into something evil.. Wonder what is your "evil" tho. Currently your evil is just a mere antidote against your current suffering a sort of "karmic solution". You still hide your claws when you should climb trees with it already. >"kill the beast" with a spear of thunder and flames That is a very apt definition of one of my ancient styles... wanna talk about it? >I feel so lonely cuz no one gets me and so i have to interact with what they think of me or something acceptable. Yeah man I cannot even imagine your "Normalfag mode". >Spirits do the same if you expect a goat demon that's what will come, a beautiful girl? a talking horse? anime character? Bruh... I had such a hard time making anime waifu sex ghosts properly appear some years ago and was annoyed how not a single spirit can match my taste... I mean I can conjure up whatever nowadays but for me it's different. They don't always manage to "fit" my expectations. >but that's taxing Yeah >there is always the risk of dirtying yourself or getting rekt by the human cuz he freaks out. I am still learning restraint to not hurt random spirits constantly. >Logic? which one? Dream logic is still logic, it's just the rule of that realm each realm has it's logic.. Cause and effect. People appearing with 0 relation to each other. It had no "logic" because the only thing that kept it together was a "feeling" a kind of tranquility you get after dying when you don't "think" anymore merely "observe". I am learning to "get that". I think too much and once my energies fasten so do my thoughts and my thoughts are ripping me apart. I have to let go of thinking. The reason why it's important to become "non judgemental" in many traditions is not to accept shitskin criminals into your country and gays raping your children but to realize that every judgement is like writing a reminder into your flesh with a rusty knife but deep in your brain and flesh. It makes you stressed and tense. I can finally see how much tension my body has nowadays and what mental states I need to reach to retain my body. My agility and posture improves every day and now I can see the next stage but it takes time. >Personally what matters is how i feel after the dream, i then unravel that feeling and try to get a lesson. There are no "feelings" for me anymore. The dreams are so "soft" it's like I didn't even had a dream. Do you remember the dream you had before being born? That is the frequency I am trying to reattain. The bliss and the horrors of the deceased. >i feel scared why? it's so spooky i don't even dare look at it?? Whenever I had a nightmare in the past I "went back" with full astral gear on and got rid of the fuckers. You don't fuck with me in my dreams. It was so long when I had a nightmare. Even the dreams where I woke up gasping for air were not "nightmares" anymore. Just weird experiences that my mortal flesh couldn't handle because I require more training. I like them. They remind me that I need more work to do. At least I have something to pursue again. >then there are distractions but it's like traps in thinking, super annoying stuff. Tell me about it ;_; Reminds me that I am spiritually retarded in some cases. >a head sprout every time i cut one fking hydra! Hydras have a "main body". Find that then you don't need to deal with the heads anymore. They wither with the body or starve if no one gives them nourishment. >btw you have a talent to snap me out of it. I am trying to develop a way to not send people into the psychward! Glad to know it somewhat works. >They are product of their time y'know? Product of their times product of their traditions product of the entities they worked with. Once I get several pages into the books I can feel the influences and that makes me always aware that this is no "teaching" this is an invitation card and I am slowly deciphering the address with every page... Makes me read less books nowadays. Meddlers all of them. >if i was born in the 20th century maybe i would have liked being part of an occult brotherhood or whatnot They were cringe or subverted even back then. The reason why I like fringe because it's a public forum. If anyone wants to subvert it it will be visible while it's still too obscure for normalfags. I like it's balance. I cannot waste my time going to discord to get groomed by weirdos and totallynotglowniggers. And for actual spiritual and occult communities that are around I consider my powerlevel still underdeveloped to interact with them with ease. All of these communities have a "story" and drama in it. Hard to get into them or get out if they suddenly get too weird.

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>maybe i would have enjoyed my life too? Instead of internet you had newspapers telephone and TV if you were rich enough. It had it's drawbacks trust me. People praise the nuclear family of that age out of nostalgia but that was when the point of no return towards degeneracy started. A new way is required and we need to find it as we move forward. >this feeling of "there is no fixing this let's go back to nature" "i want no part in this" etc Guess I am lucky then. I had that since the start. <there is no fixing this country let's go to the west and work menial jobs because this country sucks and it's hopeless but I still vote for the parties that ruined the country just because lol It's interesting to see the west slowly entering this phase even after "winning the cold war". The commies said it will happen but it happened too late for them to capitalize on it. The people slowly are finding their ways but it's real fucking slow for some reason and I am glad I have a newfound patience and a way to grasp the future as I move on my path because if I had to work with this on mere mundane level I would go crazy. People forget that they are their worst enemy and blame everyone but themselves. >So yeah this could happen with whatever we write here, people in the future won't be able to relate. Bruh if anyone reads this incomprehensible shit we write here even a year later I will be surprised. There is too much information too much noise on the web. It gets lost in this sea of chatter even if we archive it. Even looking through the archives I remember how many conversations I didn't even bother reading on fringe many years ago. There were just too many and I had other things to do.

>>5386 >So yeah this could happen with whatever we write here, people in the future won't be able to relate. It's kinda like the gods the ancients text and stuff it speaks to a particular subset of people where you start being attracted to a particular god for "some reason", but also we can make use of it but also the current or the "path" hasn't been used in a while so it kinda feels dead and void of meaning but to the people of the time it was perfect for their level Nah. Wise sages and irredeemable fools always existed. Trust me dumb people always existed so did great sages that left them once they realized they cannot do anything for them anymore. >but also the current or the "path" hasn't been used in a while so it kinda feels dead and void of meaning Also I am reactivating several of these currents but hard to explain the details how I do it. The gods didn't vanish nor the paths towards them. Just the way got plastered over with industrial waste. >also why people don't believe in good gods anymore I hate to say this but that is jewish subversion. The jews want everyone to think that every god hates them as much as their own god hates them. This is why media is so rotten nowadays. >basically calling the earth "mommy Gaia" might have awaken up some old initiation thing process? Somewhat? >The gods as a map? They actually are... a good catch. Everyone rules over a specific set of leyline system. That is their "dominion" and "paths" they are overseeing. >For me it's more like, y'know a visual novel. you can choose a route but the others are in the code of the game also. When I talk with people I can see the "dialogues" and where they lead more or less. Shame I rarely see a path that I am willing to pursue nowadays. I cannot expect others to keep up with me. Not even I can keep up with myself in most cases. And I really hate "have you heard of the high elves" tier smalltalk. >It's all an illusion anyway but god's power are making sense now. Yeah. Also about mistakes. You cannot grow without mistakes. It was an important lesson for me. I feared mistakes too much. >Yeah i need a deeper understanding, it's all the elements like understanding what is rot? what is fermentation? what is behind it all? If you get that you will reboot your digestion for sure. It's not a simple lesson. >I mean yeah that's what we're doing no? following a plan of our "higher selves" lol Yeah but I am in a "taking it easy" stage to learn to "not hurry" and "calm down" or something. I have to see that there is "no plan" to see the "greater plan" or something. > It's just that i lost contact with that layer and am only now starting to understand it better. When I noticed my light in my teens and realized that I am "losing it" I made up several measures to safeguard it and made my lifegoal to find "my way" to pursue it no matter what. This was before I was still unsure of psychic powers and ignorant about the online spiritual communities. Was unwilling to let go of that part of me. Currently I know there is more to it and I need to get myself in order to expand on it further. I am still too tense. My light still has trouble while trying to shine through me. >You can't hear much under a ton of shit..but that's also within the plan of an even higher layer! Yeah. Every layer has a higher layer every god has their own god. Every truth is based on a higher truth. >No seriously it's hard af but also the easiest thing ever. I know. Still getting used to it. >>5389 Good exercise btw. It helped. Thanks for reminding me that I should improve my water element. It's winter so I think only fire needs tending and forget that water is not just about being "cool" but also nourishing. I want to write far more but I will leave that later. Talking about the hoofs and the horns and something that I noticed about your nature several weeks ago takes consideration and I might need to rethink my idea altogether. Or maybe it's unnecessary? You look good fam. I know you might say it otherwise but you are improving on your own. And that is the most important. Having the ability to walk your own path and still being articulate enough to talk about it.

>>5400 >I feel like we are at different stages of awakening and existence which might cause problems as we talk You need problems though problems are good! You eat them and solve them and now it's yours forever! > I can only "Obey" or follow people if they are truly above me. In an energetic wisdom authority and purity level Funny! for me it's more like "I'll listen to you and do exactly what you tell me so you learn how wrong and short sighted you are" now ofc some people benefit from this other they just blame you even more for not reading their mind but the thing is if you do read their mind and anticipate their every move now these retards crumble under their own weight as you just outperformed something that took them decades to learn in a few weeks or days but then if you.. retards tbh now i just show them the way and when i fuck off they can maintain it or crumble it's their choice i am not tangling myself in their affairs anymore i am doing my own thing. There is also the one where if you do what they want with a pure heart now they think they got you figured out and can now control you and think they can use you ofc they don't realize you always knew deep down.. even my parents are my kids that's the thing, but at the time i was going mad form their retardation and forceful control so i almost ate them out of rage and stress at least they'd understand no? the hell they created for themselves but ofc not they won't so better let the kids be kids or should i say animals be animals no even worse than that but yeah..now if people keep doing that i might eat them but the thing is i don't even have faith they can do it so it's better to not try and let them crumble on their own face rather then try to invest in them for them to make a worse hell for themselves. ...buut i'd like to say there is a way to do it "proper" it's just super annoying like dancing on your head and tbh it's not worth it unless it's someone who can actually learn and be receptive to the teaching, otherwise they break all their bones when you go faster and now you deal with that to put them in a "good enough" stop and you're like "never again ":( It's not arrogance maybe it's babying people? but sometimes gotta let them do their thing too even if it's retarded and inefficient i wish i could say everyone has a plan deep down and some "higher" normies do they're just going at their pace but others just don't seem to have any potential or it's so dormant it won't show up till a few billion years or so hard to let go.. Now i am cleaning up myself and the "external" which was never external to begin with is getting cleaner as well and i don't care about letting things go, my own kids come back to me in time soooo.. >Thx to the internet I could manage. Yeah i am glad i learnt english when i did, met other people other way of thinking, read manga, it widened my world for sure showed me that things don't need to be as they are which i always knew but could never see. >You seem somewhat sociable in a way I love people! the problem is they're just ugh.. i can't be myself i can't share anything or they freak out, here i can somewhat express myself and even come to a conclusion, you know an exchange of energy! It wouldn't be so bad if i was an adult with kids, i can play with them love them but still know what they can and can't handle, issue is i am a 12 year old stuck with 4-5 year olds.. older is what 7? Now these kids just don't know anything! and they can't hunt for themselves an i can't go to hunt or they end up oppressing and killing each other! So now i give them my blood and eat rats when they all sleep that i bait with my own hair and skin bits, i can remake my blood! it's okay! But keep doing that and i get so weak i can't do anything, and if they become corrupt i might just..recover that strength. Anyway now i am a bit wiser and know my blood is for me and i should only give it to those who can appreciate it, and what would you know they even help me when i do and we both benefit! isn't that the greatest thing? I do that with this place btw, had a vision of pouring my blood on /fringe/ i benefit from it so i don't mind i am happy to share! The kids are really dumb, they don't realize they have to pay for the blood that nothing is guaranteed that if you don't take care of the land in the end it will swallow you whole and that her mercy is just due to her generous nature that there is an end where if you still don't know she will you tear you and eat you..maybe we should have left them as insects and beasts :( > I had plans how to use people and positions as "societal jump-pads" and was thinking in ways how to blaze through the ranks You remind me of a friend! no two people? it's a phase where they realize the normie-cattle are normie-cattle and are like "well i'll be the king!" it's funny! > how everything is controlled by the shadows since forever thus mundane pursuits are meaningless and the only thins I need is to have a way to pursue my path and everything else is secondary Yeah it's the progression i can see it more clearly now how differently we think and how predictable it is when you passed that. >Was weird seeing how the principles I wanted to actualize for my mundane political pursuits started to manifest in the leadership of the politicians I supported We do things differently it's due to the way our consciousness act.. I can do that the issue is it's "unwise" for me to do so as i am blind to the bigger pictures as a human and i have to handle the fall of the act i mean everyone does but they just can't see it for some reason.. I never talked about my magic it's "fireworks" an explosion in a firework fashion that shape the past future matter astral etc it's foul proof with time it changed it grew to become a darkness, and i realized that everything i think or do happen in a form or other, that i doom or save myself with every breath with every act, i am like a blackhole and reality is shaped by my awareness it bends and follow me, it is born and die by my hand. It's not something i like to talk about, with one hand the children are born with the other you strangle them over and over..this is also a phase i don't like it yet i have to reach it to completion it has to do with how i know how to handle my own karma, it's a kind of spinning or dance it's awkward but it works with every act you are redeemed the karma varnish as it is created.. >If you can unite it in a single system you are God in the flesh level and not in a shady organization as theirs. ugh it's complicated..i have the potential to be a big as a house, a city a country..even bigger. The king is the one who marries the land and work with her but there is also the case of the land ruling it herself, that's a god. You ever created an astral realm? an island? If you can maintain it and cultivate it you are at "local deity" level you know? now realize who is you and what is the land you created? being both unites the opposite. i wonder if people here would understand that or if they do and the just keep it to themselves? i can handle it so i can say it. You like the elder scrolls? how the planets and the gods are the same but the planets look as they do as mortals project it that way to be understandable? Planets? more like planes no? If you want to be king you have to be the country herself also. At least that's my current understanding haha don't take my madness too seriously! i am just having fun expressing these things! I dislike how some push their own madness btw everyone has to find their own :D >Whatever you become will become the future human and the collective will slightly shift into that direction Oh so everything! See that's what humans really are, the potential of the universe!

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>If you clean your timeline you will meet with more weirdos that are on your frequency thus make a way towards a better future that aligns with your energies better. I am on it! pretty funny realizing i am the timeline on a level just as i am the moon and the sun and the sea and the sky and.. >It's not without pain and effort tho. How is it for you? for me it's if i can face it i can handle it, so it's like swimming in gutter letting it "eat me" and purifying it, but i don't have to do anything i just observe it in a way that bring it forth. I noticed that with my magic years ago, how cyclic how you can turn rot into life into rot into life! ofc levels of understanding to that.. >Did you find out the reason for that? My parents "sacrificed" me they almost killed me and i only survived cuz divine intervention tbh But i am getting over it! i am never quite alone anyway it's just part of my lesson of being whole in myself that is hard to handle as i need to face the pain head on with that faith gnosis really in myself that i will survive it no matter what, that i can thrive in the worst and the best all the same. >to stay around as a human and pursue my path while still within this life. /fringe/ is one of my inspiration and didn't really want it to vanish. This is why I keep posting. Yeah see the thing i am pursuing is to reach a point where i don't have to worry about "incarnations" and bodies and whatnot, where i am everywhere and nowhere and can reappear "in the flesh" just to enjoy myself in myself. >It stems from the lower chakras which you have problem with. It's all the same "fear" "hesitation" that if this thing touch me "i will come undone" but when you reach a certain strength and knowing yourself you realize truly let it pass me it will only take what is unnecessary what i thought were "essential" parts where but fermentation of a new beginning..something like that. hard to face but also easiest thing really, it's so painful. Also wanted to say that we walk upright we can't hide our tummies like animals do and so have to face everything, but also no matter the strength of the caiman's back a Jarguar can always eats you so it was never safe but we can face it on our terms as we grow in awareness. >Also as long as you post here you will get replies that will match the length of your post within 3 days lol It's not even about length or time, i have the feeling nobody is truly looking at me, they look at my outer flowers, some get closer but nobody looks at me.. Tbh i am a bit hypocritical about it as if someone did that i would eat them alive but if they survived then..ohhhhhh yup not talking about that. >That is a very apt definition of one of my ancient styles... Where you ever a Sumerian? if so that's the one i remember. >wanna talk about it? Sure i just don't remember much, i have to face the feelings from there first to unlock it. >They don't always manage to "fit" my expectations. Yeah you need someone so receptive they take fully your 'order", i think you're clear enough you just don't see that part lol. > a "feeling" a kind of tranquility you get after dying when you don't "think" anymore merely "observe". I am learning to "get that" yes that's..hard to subject to talk about tbh i can't find the words to define it, looping around yourself in yourself?..talking about it force me to face it. >Do you remember the dream you had before being born? That is the frequency I am trying to reattain. The bliss and the horrors of the deceased. I am actually getting closer to death and learning what is death. "It's just like sleep except you don't get up" used to be a useless sentence to me but now it's a key that i am scared to use. I can see it i even found a portal to the underworld inside of myself humans are like that seed of god all that but i need to hone myself with my current horrors to attain a "gnosis" where i know i can face it otherwise.. Funny we were facing it all this time we just refused to see it, now we are forcing ourselves to face it, when we finally emerge..that is immortality one above and below that contain the cycle of the

>mfw message get's cut out stupid!! ..the cycle of the universe within and without??? haha i'll stop it's like i am making a Paella with different energies x) >You don't fuck with me in my dreams. Issue for me is i realized they were all "me" in some form cuz you can't hurt me except using my own karma and because of that you end up taking on my smell so it forces me to face my own "emanations" or "breaths" as the mistakes of young god haha. >At least I have something to pursue again here fish tail in your face! >I am trying to develop a way to not send people into the psychward! If you talk too much too me it might happen to you instead! I am joking but the psychward can be necessary for some, i mean..ugh forget it this harvest festival is ridiculous! > People praise the nuclear family of that age out of nostalgia I don't to me it's already a corruption, as a tribe you see yourself as part of the tribe not to a "family" that keeps breaking out as it can't even maintain any structure as your children fucks off and now you're alone and there is no momentum or ancestral knowledge and everyone realy on "muh governement" and they don't even realize how they feed it and feed their own doom this way. No the corruption started when we saw ourselves as separate from nature..no wait from the universe?..ok so it's mercy but also destruction..love and war! Ahhh balance such a hard thing if you don't get it just right something explode somewhere else and now you deal with it! or you have a blood clot! It's pretty funny tbh! I hate people forcing their views on others, if you do that you're taking their karma idiot! only do that for the children you'll adopt ughhh. Some people learn the hard way i am not gonna judge too much now that i realize how it's all connected and that people are only making their own doom by being to selfish or too selfless, there is a time for order and a time for chaos y'know? People somehow think they can make a perfect everlasting civilization when you're just pushing the doom to later. It's like stopping small fires but 200 year later everything burns. >It gets lost in this sea of chatter even if we archive it They'll get attracted by the smell! i mean yeah you can get your lessons from anything anyway ancient texts, video games, hentai, and of course dreams! >They actually are... a good catch. Everyone rules over a specific set of leyline system. That is their "dominion" and "paths" they are overseeing. Mmm wonder what happen if they all connect and the flow is reestablished..MMMMMMM? haha i am doing that with my body is what i mean. >And I really hate "have you heard of the high elves" tier smalltalk. rofl tell me about it. tbh i realized they can't hurt me they are but emissaries of my own internal turmoil..so if they bother me if i want to rip them apart and eat them it's just me not being very responsible with my own kids y'know? It's not a false safety it's more like my own energies coming back as i am currently bound to time cycles etc but that also is illusion and i am getting that control by reaching these spheres As i am dealing with them all my "karma" things are changing getting better to the point where it all mm collapse on myself? idk how to explain, the end of the illusion a fractal? ha but it's fun when you choose your own karma then even as you face it. >You cannot grow without mistakes. It was an important lesson for me. I feared mistakes too much. Yeah! now i know i can handle my own mistakes! just takes time but that's only cuz i think it should see? >If you get that you will reboot your digestion for sure. It's not a simple lesson. I am watching videos on rotting animal carcasses and trying to emulate that on my own body, i need to get a feeling for death, for the stink for everything. Like how do you even turn fur back into soil? the worms are cool but what i need is their "original" energies to reach that understanding of all aspect of rot, bacteria fungi animals insects plants etc. Need a gnosis of the whole process and how death become life become death y'know that kind of thing. > I have to see that there is "no plan" to see the "greater plan" or something. Only the one you made brother >Thanks for reminding me that I should improve my water element You're welcome! My ideal body now is half on fire half sinking mud. some part of me didn't want to rely on the earth to clean me up but as i realize my connections i realize i was simply disrupting the flow... > that I noticed about your nature several weeks ago takes consideration Oh so you know why i have a lion tail? why i am looking like a sphinx now? Complicated! i wonder if it's even for me these visions tbh i never studies these things i just know them. No really i never "studied" the tarot either, i only look at something if it's calling me.

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Oh right some vision that happened yesterday. >be alone at 2am in the dark >this is bs i need to face my own darkness! >corpses gores that gets more visible as i close my eyes >old man appear >oh it's uh saturn? >he tries to eat me >image of corpses get even scarier >also feels like i am somewhat blind IRL as the vision takes over my physical eyes my eyes get blurry af after visions >i use light spears to immobilize this astral entity >this only work to slow him for a second >at that point i am panicking >ok fine i'll face my fear fuck it i am eating you too! >I can feel my teeth on his skull almost physically >as i gulp his right eye he swallows me and i find my self in an ocean >a siren made of wheels talks to me <yes it's saturn and he just ate you! you need to understand your own darkness you know! >i eat her to digest the meaning of it all So much retardation but as long as it's fun as much as it's scary it's not too bad.

>message gets cut out >on THAT particular part >SOMEHOW??? Facing sleep and death consciously i see..the space between each breaths.

>>5538 >as you just outperformed something that took them decades to learn in a few weeks or days but then if you.. When people piss me off that much that I snap out of my mundane lethargy and end up reading their mind I witness all the inconsistencies and inefficient retardation within their "framework". When that happens I go into a "lecture mode" if I have to deal with them with a prolonged time. I realized a while ago that I don't really "learn". I am just simply "doing things" and once I stop doing things i forget them. If I learn something meaningless I want to forget it as much as possible. My mental flows are sacred to me. I don't want it to be disturbed by pointless chatter with meaningless "skills" that won't even exist a decade later. This is why programming annoyed me. I realized I either become a "programming nerd" and let all my other skills waste away for the sake of keeping up with the programming technology or I let the "nerds" deal with it while I keep pursuing my own things. People are extremely disgenic nowadays because they cannot do the same skills they ancestors did for thousands of years. These skills are programmed deep within their genetics but they don't have the necessary stimulant anymore. >i am not tangling myself in their affairs anymore i am doing my own thing. Yes it's important to let go. Real hard to accept it in some cases. Letting retards be retards when you know they could be something else but you don't have nor the strength nor the wisdom to show it to them. >if you do what they want with a pure heart now they think they got you figured out and can now control you and think they can use you Most people cannot even control themselves... and those people who cannot control themselves cannot control others either. Sometimes letting others control you is an "act of kindness" when you "play along" because otherwise it's like they are talking to a brick wall that will fall on them if they keep knocking. I hate when I have to put "effort" into playing along especially when I see how people don't even enjoy the game where they made the rules for the game that they hate playing so much. >even my parents are my kids that's the thing They have a responsibility to grow the fuck up! I am instilling that into my relatives. I suffered enough of their retardation and if they want to stay around me they will grow no matter what. When you give others your attention or energy you can program it. Every type of nutrient has a way the body can digest it. Sometimes the process of the digestion is the one that "changes the main energies of the body" and not the nutrients it will absorb. When you program these energies well enough people can change around you the way you gave them their energies. But you really need a clear mind and a pure heart for that or it goes awry if your own energies are also tainted with hubris... But you don't notice it until talking with people. Annoying. >let them crumble on their own face rather then try to invest in them for them to make a worse hell for themselves. Always watch out to not entangle yourself with unnecessary karma. Even I have to mantra that to myself in some cases. >buut i'd like to say there is a way to do it "proper" it's just super annoying like dancing on your head For me it requires extreme amount of focus and patience that I know I don't have yet >tbh it's not worth it unless it's someone who can actually learn and be receptive to the teaching This is the thing. Sometimes the problem is not with the student but with the teacher. Everyone has openings and clogged pathways within their mentality. Once you see how it is put together you can feed them the necessary information so they can "bloom". The real problem is that once I see the trash that is within their head I get so irritated I know if I stay around I will just crush everything they have and forget the purpose of my teaching altogether. The trick is not to "teach" the trick is to help people to "get it on their own" with the least amount of effort. Finding Dharma being Dharma spreading dharma without obstructing dharma or something like that. There is a secret "dharma speak" which can grant enlightenment if you know how to let the dharma flow effortlessly but... whenever I try to do that I notice how shoddily I managed to internalize dharma at all. This is why the way I express myself is this fucking atrocious currently. >but sometimes gotta let them do their thing too even if it's retarded and inefficient Sometimes you have to let them ask for help and not "force it" upon them or they will reject it. The mental pathways will have to open on their own or they will have to break their own stupidity.I asked my grandparents to not do something absolutely unnecessary and they refused adamantly and I should leave the issue then grandpa managed to break his hand in the end... which is a good thing because if they will try it again I can remind them of this "Pain" of theirs or they will remember it by default and stop trying so hard to be stupid for no real reason >others just don't seem to have any potential or it's so dormant it won't show up till a few billion years or so hard to let go.. Everyone has their potential but are you determined and inquisitive enough to find it? Everyone is a mystery and some people have such weird mysteries slumbering within them that in some cases it's better that way. And trust me You and me or anyone on fringe are not even the "worst". Some people are wearing down extremely terrific karma with eons worth of suffering and NPCism. >Now i am cleaning up myself and the "external" which was never external to begin with is getting cleaner as well and i don't care about letting things go, my own kids come back to me in time soooo.. Yay! Anon gets it! :) >Yeah i am glad i learnt english when i did, met other people other way of thinking, read manga, it widened my world for sure showed me that things don't need to be as they are which i always knew but could never see. Same >i can't be myself i can't share anything or they freak out Takes time to figure out of that part. Not telling your "deepest parts". As you move on you will lose the urge to do it. Do you ever want to whip out your cock public or shit into the table at public places?Hope you don't But when you are on the toilet you know you can pee and when you sit down you know you can shit freely. When you were a baby you couldn't control this. You shat everywhere when the need arisen and no one expected you to do it otherwise. Once you learned to walk you learned how to control your bowel movement with it then learned to use the toilet. This is how it is with expressing yourself. You realize where you can share it effortlessly and where it is a "complete waste". There are many skills in magic and spirituality that will become that easily to discern with enough wisdom and maturity. But if you go down to the level of others and "forget yourself" in the process you just invite confusion and frustration into your psyche. Takes practice I know it well. >i can play with them love them but still know what they can and can't handle I can't. I always realize that I don't know the limits of myself and others. This is why I am on fringe. I will have to develop this skill of myself better. >issue is i am a 12 year old stuck with 4-5 year olds My problem is that I am like a 10 year old who pretends to be a 5 year old while a dark 700 year old shadow whispers into my ear constantly and the only reason he is behaving because some 10 000 year old parent is watching in the back of the room and if he misbehaves he will "get involved". I realized that the "other kids" are my "least concern". There are things I have to figure out right here and now and watch out to not create too much unnecessary drama in the process. I am still feeling bad about some other unnecessary drama I created when I was 3 year old several lifetimes ago... >Now these kids just don't know anything! They know how to buy groceries! >they can't hunt for themselves an i can't go to hunt That requires a hunting permit and to know which hunting season it is! Doesn't matter if it's IRL or with other karmic means. >But keep doing that and i get so weak i can't do anything, and if they become corrupt i might just..recover that strength. I had to realize most people cannot handle my energies. So I just help them shatter some of their karmic bonds so they can take a new form and because of that they operate on a "better energy" that I didn't even give them. And their radiance can better the environment. It's nice when it happens. >we both benefit! isn't that the greatest thing? It is! That is the goal. Everyone wins! Everyone reaches the finish line! >I do that with this place btw, had a vision of pouring my blood on /fringe/ i benefit from it so i don't mind i am happy to share! Had a vision about the state of fringe some weeks ago. It was like a brown rock that "plugged it". I was thinking about shattering it but in actuality it "defended fringe". I have noticed a swamp of retardation that it blocked which tried to enter this site. I noticed how everyone is slowly "drilling through" and if it goes well enough everyone will become stronger in the process put if it's shattered forcefully the whole place will be swamped by retards. You cannot grow egregores mindlessly. As I look through the archives I remember just how much unnecessary drama and retardation transpired at fringe. Made me remember how I ignored like 70% of the threads because there was nothing there. That is a karma that we will have to "wear down". The age of "lolcowism" is over. We need to retain the original purpose of fringe and not waste effort on other meaningless drivel. Knew you will be part of the process but didn't know it will manifest this way for you. There are many people trying their best but they don't know how to be part of it. Noticed that my "fringe adoration" energies are not even high compared to others. For me it is a mere reminder that there are other people that walk the path and willing to share their insights while for most people this place is some magical gateway towards awakening. For some people this is their "only hope". This is how they feel at least. Was quite illuminating seeing it.Then we have the "when will the lolcow return so we can make fun of him lol we are totally not glowniggers pls don't kill us we are just retards we swear" crowd and I have no idea what to do with them. They don't have a clean target yet so they are on other edges of the internet currently. Trying to figure out how to reactivate their "light" with minimal effort because I don't want the previous retardation to resurface on fringe

>The kids are really dumb As long as they are innocent I don't mind it. >maybe we should have left them as insects and beasts :( I can't stand insects. Sorry. They won't stay as insects or I will let the spiders eat them. Pets can be cute but insects are no pets. Tho fringe might need some creative "beasts of burden". I don't plan making this site echo with my own madness constantly. >You remind me of a friend! no two people? it's a phase where they realize the normie-cattle are normie-cattle and are like "well i'll be the king!" it's funny! It's more complex than that. I realized I can "hone myself" into something greater. I never cared about the "normie-cattle" because you never rule alone. You rule with other great people. The king always needs it's court so does he needs proper subjects. I never wanted to "rule" I wanted to help to shape the future into something greater. After the fall of USSR we were in a bleak state and it echoes through my childhood. It was clear life could have been better but no one wanted to "make it better". I consider myself as an "emergency leader". Like how the rank of dictator was originally in Rome before Caesar. They elected the dictator only in extreme crisis and only for half a year. I never wanted to "march into Rome". I do not want to live being surrounded by Yesmen. Better to be alone then. At least I can hear my thoughts that way. What I cannot stand when I get disturbed when I am finally hear the faintest whispers of my deepest parts. Now that is what I despise and I thought life will be "so bad" that I will require some greater purpose or we will be devoured by the retardation of others. After realizing that psychic powers are real and I wield them I realized this mundane "game" is unnecessary and an absolute distraction from truth. Was thinking if psychic powers are real then what greater pursuit can be than mastering those? Why become a footnote in history when reality warps at your fingertips? Ofc I was not aware how "karma works" back then so I was quite starry eyed. But I am still glad I didn't try becoming a politician. Failing at it is one thing but becoming successful is even worse in this rotten world. Enjoy being everything but yourself. Pinnacle of normalfaggotry the crystallization of mainstream political ideas. Heavy is the head that wears the crown but it's like wearing the pants that everyone shat through in the previous years in this "democracy" which is not even yours but merely "loaned". Politicians are no kings anymore. They are mere court jesters with good lighting nowadays.Really liked how the Malvakian calls the Prince Jester in VTMB. Fucking swedes ruining and delaying the sequel again >Yeah it's the progression i can see it more clearly now how differently we think I don't see some of your internal mechanisms yet but because you are not sure of them yet either. We both have too many questions within still. >it grew to become a darkness, and i realized that everything i think or do happen in a form or other, that i doom or save myself with every breath with every act, i am like a blackhole and reality is shaped by my awareness it bends and follow me, it is born and die by my hand. You are expelling some stagnating energy. It has life on it's own but that is not it's "final form" >It's not something i like to talk about I don't think you can talk about yet aptly enough. It didn't manage to manifest completely. There are too many missing parts. This is not (You) this is some leftover energy from some other age? Hard to say for sure. >with one hand the children are born with the other you strangle them over and over I am getting good at not strangling entities! Real proud of that development. >the karma varnish as it is created.. Yes that will totally happen because you don't have your "actual karma" yet but mere "placeholder karma" that you have as a human. >i have the potential to be a big as a house, a city a country..even bigger. Bruh like everyone has that. But I don't think you want to be a giant cancerous tumor over the earth. Some people forget that cancer is the only thing that has uncontrolled growth and in the end it kills the body. >The king is the one who marries the land and work with her but there is also the case of the land ruling it herself, that's a god. Somewhat true. When that happens you become a "deity" and not a mere king. Many lands lost their guardian deities this is why we are facing weird issues nowadays. When Rome fell Italy had a bunch of city states for centuries. All the guardian deities manifested because there was no Emperor that can rule over them. Then they faded away because they realized they don't have the necessary "steam" to keep going by their own. >You ever created an astral realm? an island? I have so many realms under my control that I didn't even create in this lifetime that it's ridiculous. When I witnessed them I realized I have to take my awakening seriously because I am not even halfway to my actual potential to "remember" who I am... and talking about surpassing my "past selves" is meaningless. I am taking it so easy it's laughable. Not that I am in a hurry for anything it seems. >If you can maintain it and cultivate it you are at "local deity" level you know? Hehehe. I might talk about this later. Let's say I don't need my islands to be solely on the "astral" for long. I am acknowledged for quite long but I still have growth to do. I cannot take pride in what I do yet. Currently I do things because I deem it "necessary" and I have hard time finding enjoyment in it. Even tho it's fun and wouldn't do it otherwise! >being both unites the opposite. Opposites are an illusion! If it's part of the same system can they be really "opposites"?Let's not talk about opposites emanating from different systems tho. Ever since angels warned me about it I am annoyed that there are some parts of my "potential" that I shouldn't express before the "time is right" >If you want to be king you have to be the country herself also. KING AND COUNTRY! >At least that's my current understanding haha don't take my madness too seriously! It' a process. Hope no one takes my own madness too seriously either. >I dislike how some push their own madness btw everyone has to find their own :D The goal is to see beyond it. Some people fall into the trap thinking their madness is "their truth" and trap themselves within the veil of madness. It's necessary to see beyond it because there are far more things there. But it might be maddening to think how much more things are beyond madness. >How is it for you? Going through so many changes it takes longer to talk about than actually overcoming them. They only meaningful the moment it happens and I don't see meaning talking about once it passes. All of them are so TLDR and so intertwined with so many things. Can't feel the urge to talk about it out of the blue especially when I am over it already. Maybe if someone goes through something similar I mention it but otherwise who cares? >Yeah see the thing i am pursuing is to reach a point where i don't have to worry about "incarnations" and bodies and whatnot, where i am everywhere and nowhere and can reappear "in the flesh" I don't think you have to worry about that. >just to enjoy myself in myself. Now that might be more complex. You will have to face some weird karma first and I have no idea what that is. >what i thought were "essential" parts where but fermentation of a new beginning..something like that. Yes that is how cultivation and inner alchemy works >i have the feeling nobody is truly looking at me, they look at my outer flowers, some get closer but nobody looks at me.. Bruh... "Looking at you" is the same as someone grabbing your entrails through your belly button then slowly licking it while you bite their neck if they don't do it fast enough. >if someone did that i would eat them alive but if they survived then..ohhhhhh yup not talking about that. Looking at others the wrong way and the wrong time creates a weird energetic attachment. You only look at flowers once they bloom and not force it to stem nor you dig it out from the fertile soil to see their roots. Everything will come when it's ready. You are not yourself yet nor am I in any way able to call myself "complete". >Where you ever a Sumerian? My guides went ahead and revealed it to me. Was too important of a milestone that I was not allowed to forget. >if so that's the one i remember. Uh. I might have played too many roles there and I am still unsure of the fidelity of my memories. To many gaps because I cannot match my mental frequency well enough yet.

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>wanna talk about it? >Sure i just don't remember much, i have to face the feelings from there first to unlock it. Same! Was thinking maybe you have something that makes the noggin joggin. Maybe later then. >Yeah you need someone so receptive they take fully your 'order", i think you're clear enough you just don't see that part lol No you see the when I go into the mindset where I can give them the order to "be the perfect pleasure ghost" I lose all my desires for pleasure. Carnal desires is for mortals and mortals cannot command ghosts while gods don't care about carnal desires the same way as mortals anymore... I am learning a lesson about this nowadays and it's real fucking hard. >looping around yourself in yourself?.. That is what life and death is about. Seeing it grants you the way to overcome it. Hard I know. >death >"It's just like sleep except you don't get up" used to be a useless sentence to me but now it's a key that i am scared to use. It's a dream that you forget after waking up but remember later on for seemingly "no reason". I wanted to give a quick reply and it managed to become 20k+ long. I really need to change my ways already. Also it's late so I am not proofreading it. Sorry for the misunderstandings it might have caused >>5540 >Facing sleep and death consciously i see..the space between each breaths. Tell me about it...

It has come to my attention that demons have thoroughly and severely infested most known corners of the internet. All wizards should therefore ensure that they practice due diligence, remembering to perform cleansing spells and exorcisms on their webpages whenever they see any of these digital demons making mischief.

>>5552 What are some warning signs to watch out for?

>>5566 >Strong unwarranted emotional reactions to posts >Websites or users acting in unusual, inorganic ways (ways that might be interpreted as "glowies" or "shills") >Websites inspiring uncontrolled trance states ("Doomscrolling") >Websites causing you to feel physically drained, sick, or exhausted Aetheric purging should be performed on the spirit and surrounding aura of the web-site in question whenever any of the above symptoms are noticed.

>>5552 Parasocial relationships with vtubers/onlyfans the outrage media in the past 8 years and parasitic energetic incubation chambers like discord was the perfect nesting ground for them. Then tiktok enhanced it even more. The weird thing was that no one was able completely to control it. Realized it's big problem and fringe won't come back until we fix it. If anyone looks through the archives of the previous fringe it's clear that the unnecessary drama and shitflinging was more prevalent than actual magic discussion. Before fringe I noticed on several other psychic communities that the community went berserk with inane drama and political issues even in the Obama era then destroyed itself. Especially if they were left wing and had a sizeable female userbase too. Realized more than a decade ago that a right wing anonymous magical discussion forum might be immune to it. It was more resistant for sure but definitely not immune at all. We know that too well nowadays When fringe had it's own website it was "cleaner" but since the migration to 8chan happened the site is interacting with the energies of the other boards constantly. Those boards are full with energies like lust and rage. I knew we will have to somewhat break through that. I had a "plan" in my head how I will structurally demolish it bit by bit after creating several threads that will "show the way" but I managed to get entangled with way too many personal discussions and realized I don't have enough time to enact my plan. I chose the method of slowly re-energizing fringe then crush most of the reappearing parasites. Had to face the truth that most past fringe users are full with these parasites but it's so deep within their psyche it will be hard to "flush it out". I found 2 types of parasites. They were either entirely made of lower energies or semi sentient beings that got "corrupted". The corrupted ones are helpful spirits that fallen into parasitic behavior. Those ones could be "saved" but helping them to retain their main purpose was hard. I set up an autopurging energy field and more and more spirits manifested and found ways how I can guide them towards other realms where they can "learn" and once they have enough they can return to this reality and share their findings. This plan was nice on paper but the main issue was that fringe is still too "low energy". No higher spirit can return here to do anything meaningful and they have hard time communicating with neophytes that know nothing of spirit work. Wanted to make a proper spirit work thread but the whole board started to focus on succubus astral glowies and aliens and had no idea how to solve that issue first Then more problems arisen thanks to different alignments of some wizards. >>1775 He connected several threads to his "astral internet network" which is used by millions of infernal beings and aliens according to him. Then he had that bright idea that if you shit up a place before letting glowies shit it up glowies won't touch it. That just caused more annoyance with his methods from many people and old wounds reappeared then drama ensured again. Because of that this site started to get fuelled by a flame while other spiritual forces started protecting it that was not under control. After creating this thread another anon also casted a spell then hippie looking spirit appeared through my screen covered in pure white energies and touched my chest and said >you are protected from all harm and hurt Because of that I realized there are too many parties interested in this place and I want to see "where it goes" first. Ofc the results are mixed and I am not liking it either but wanted this to serve as a learning process for everyone instead of forcing my own principles through this website. Realized there is a way out of it but it either requires several skilled magicians with higher principles or I let this place become a "survival of the fittest" magical training ground which will birth adepts sooner or later. Some people had a desire for that aggressive schizophrenic adepts method. >>3687 I knew these people are those that desire that old version of fringe where the adepts ripped each other apart and served as an entertainment to mundane spectators while drove away the rest of the site. I decided to wait to see what happens. I noticed quite long that many occult websites and places are teeming with entities. Not all of them are bad ofc but once the userbase gets batshit insane it's clear they have a parasitic infestation and the site/community breaks down. Was unsure what causes the main problem. I had 3 suspects: Glowies were the first but I realized most people are merely brainwashed and not always glowies. The second were the deep seated issues of every poster manifesting and the psychoactive energies of the board is sending their energies berserk. The third was external hostile entities that prey on developing wizards. Ofc usually it's all 3 at once but I wanted to see it happen to me personally. I was lurking in the previous incarnations of fringe because I never really had much to say that wasn't said one way or the other but now I had more to say and felt if I don't say anything the neophytes will not find their answers at all. The problem was that no one was willing to stand up and make these demons "show themselves". Everyone either covered in fear or made shields so they can be "someone else's problem". I wanted to figure out who or what singles out and mindbreaks the promising initiates on every incarnation of fringe and on other occult places. These forces slowly showing themselves but most of them still hide in the shadows. >>5567 This post described well the signs and it is quite "new" symptom because these issues appeared in the past decade. Which means these demons are malleable. If you change the frequencies they cannot stay around. They are too dependent on the psyche of the current state of collective "internet" conscious. Purging cleaning and reintroducing proper internet culture and etiquette is necessary. My problem is that I am unsure how to go at it currently. I have many tools but all of them counts as a mere "half measure". This is something I realized I will not do alone or demons will use other users to bring down this place when I am not "looking". There is too much karma on fringe they can fallback to. They just make people remember and bring up discussions made and said in the last decade just to stir up shit and I cannot even "complain" because that is the only thing that fueled discussion on this almost completely dead board. The worms and critters till the soil when man doesn't do it with his tools. Had to face that the only way is; to find people who have a will to help recultivating this place. Sadly it turned out most of them had no way dealing with demon infestation so I figured out ways how I can draw them out and give advice how to teach them to deal with them on their own... but it resulted in this mess. It was better than leaving fringe dead but not the result I hoped for at all. >Aetheric purging should be performed on the spirit and surrounding aura of the web-site in question whenever any of the above symptoms are noticed. Can you write down a step by step guide that neophytes and initiates without creativity can employ? For me it's intuitive and I just meditate with the right energies but I cannot really explain it to others at all. The demons never managed to take a lasting form long enough so I can deal with them in a way the site is not going silent as a result. Whenever I purged this site it became "sterile" with no organic discussions or when I did a new method where I took out the "false sentience" of the parasites then let the energies flow back into the site people reported anomalies that they couldn't put anywhere but they had no way starting a discussion with that. The posting activity lasted as long as that energy speed boost. Couldn't figure out how to grant people creative and insightful pathworking from all these extra energies that lies around this place because the degenerates fuel it constantly.When my awakening started I noticed all the trash posts and sigils from "looshfarming" and I got rid of them from my psyche. Then a year ago I had the idea how I could do a mass purging on the dormant side of the now dead fringe egregores to redistribute those energies. Seen just how much insanity this mindless looshfarming caused and how it sucked the egregore dry and left only mindless parasites behind. I knew it can be fixed but didn't know it will take this long Sorry if this post appears as a "traumadump" but I think it was a necessary QRD how I see this issue and if you have any method you can share for the neophytes to properly cleanse their own environment and the places they interact with it will be a great help. Personally I want to take a break from this site because I need to meditate more. I overextended myself and my goal was never to "overtake fringe" but merely help it reactivate. I too want to shed this thinking that I had to attain to be able to talk with people who prefer to act and think like demons. The demons also desire a change and they only stay around if you are willing to keep them chained to you. Om mani padme hum I recommend Buddhist chants for everyone if nothing better is recommended. They are way too effective and simple.

>>5568 >Can you write down a step by step guide that neophytes and initiates without creativity can employ? Well first, 95% of the time, at least for me, these demons are literally seated within the "digital reality". Meaning that the "heart of the spirit's manifestation" is residing literally within the computer screen. I experienced this back when Blood Anon tried to plant an jihadi djinn on the board and I had to exorcise it. It seems pretty rare for a digital spirit to actually be able to exit the 'screen' and take root in your local physical reality. Usually they beam out energy from the monitor in the same way that information is beamed out from the monitor via light from the pixels. So even if a huge amount of energy is pouring out of the monitor, it usually seems to stop simply by turning the computer off or walking away. Meaning: that if you want to combat a digital spirit, rather than trying to project or remote view to their 'location', you instead recognize their location as simply being inside of your computer, and operate off of that assumption. So, move your awareness into your energy body and literally just reach through your computer screen to interact with it like that. Very simple but effective. From there it’s just a matter of astral combat. I like to use black holes (reality-holes technically) but getting the right frequency for that took me a while. For neophytes it would probably be best to use some sort of ‘cleansing holy light’ evocation. All magical acts only work if you have faith in them so you should look at what you have faith in and use that. >Whenever I purged this site it became "sterile" with no organic discussions Oh right. Yeah that happens. I guess I just sort of ignored that and took it as a signal to spend more time on my various astral workings instead of online. I don’t think there’s really a way to purge influences without causeing a sterilization effect. This would probably just necessitate a second seperate working designed to ‘fertilize’ and ‘seed’ the desired energies in the associated digital plane. I bet trying to do a ‘rain spell’ inside the digital reality would be pretty effective towards this.

Also this may be relevant.

>>5538 >”It’s just like sleep except you don’t get up” The film, Waking Life, is about just that. Kisscartoon has it on their site if you’re interested in that; for all I know it’s help you get over that fear, but what’s my dumb ass know? >>5548 >stuff about learning programming and consequentially forgetting everything else I suppose that if you learned programming anyway, but only 1 version of 1 languagesuch as Assembly, then you could still get something useful outta it by learning how to conceptualize, materialize, analyze, and remember extremely large logical structures by heart. I know the late smileberg poster said he had astral nanomachines & astral AI. I’m probably trying too hard to be helpful

>>5548 I just had a thought about that dysgenics bit: You know how in less evolved 2D beings there’s only 1 cell that has to be able to do all of its functions? As it evolves, it eventually becomes multicellular, and that multicellularity allows some of its cells to specialize into performing specific functions since they do t have to be capable of all of the functions anymore, thereby making the entire organism become better at survival. The works because the cells of the organism work together in an orderly manner to aid eachother’s survival. Individual humans branching off into specialized functions like this and forgetting how to individually take care of everything seems similar to that unicellular to multicellular bit. However, because kikes & their ayy lmao handlers subverted the orderly manner into serving them at the expense of the organism, it’ll make humanity suffer more in the event of civilizational collapse than they otherwise would.

>>5548 >This is why programming annoyed me. Everything changes so fast if you want to stay relevant..maybe as a hobby if that but can't say today's technology motivates me :/ >because they cannot do the same skills they ancestors did for thousands of years. These skills are programmed deep within their genetics but they don't have the necessary stimulant anymore. Crazy thing is realizing it was bad 2 generation ago so it's not even about going back to how grandma and grandpa used to live they were fucked up too with their margarine and trying to follow the government plan in a changing world. Really annoying when you whole bloodline is like that, realizing the fall happened a really fucking long time ago and that the last magic users were already shit a thousand year ago using old symbols but not knowing why. then you end up with people remembering some herbs or oils to treat the flu but not knowing why and relying on doctors to prescribe them a pill so they can be a nice little work drone and not drop dread then dump all that mess on their kids. Really funny and by that i mean infuriating of course. These days they don't even trust in their ancestral knowledge anymore or have any belief in it, accepting the invader's god.. >Most people cannot even control themselves Bruh especially with sweets, worse is they start affecting me if i mingle..seriously man it's like we lost all our connection to nature and instead wired to the urban jungle to be some sad techno monkey in someone's else experiment :( >They have a responsibility to grow the fuck up! I'll believe in them as much as i can but it's not looking good..they have to face so much now that it might be better for them to just suffer without knowing why :/ >When you program these energies well enough people can change around you the way you gave them their energies I still suck at this, i am making plant grow around me to change the people around me but also too harshly and they could not handle it but also myself i am like an exotic animal taken out of nature who is constantly sick and losing it's hair soo..hard to balance their retardation but also make thing work and move. > Sometimes the problem is not with the student but with the teacher. There is no teacher that's the problem..in the flesh i mean. I wish i could send them to a school or something but it's all bugs eating other bugs at that point i can just pray for them and maybe cast some protection spells if i care enough. >Do you ever want to whip out your cock public or shit into the table at public places? Rofl no I guess i have a better understanding now, i crave meaningful connections, something that can make me grow but also make the other grow. Not this dog eat dog world i have been observing, where people drain you or you drain them or they shit on you and you shit on them. Something where everyone can evolve learn from each other etc instead of playing retarded otherwise they freak out so much they have a heart attack or ..put you on a cross. The few friends of mine who have potential are doomed because of things like love to other people who just won't learn sometimes..can they really be blamed? But oh well eventually we all get tired and learn that hey maybe the most important person is myself first and I'll help when i can otherwise why nourish people who want you dead? >But when you are on the toilet you know you can pee and when you sit down you know you can shit freely. My parents would start screaming every time i used the bathroom, total hypocrites about it too. Learnt to only go at night when everybody is sleeping, still have issue where i can't use it if i don't totally trust the environment as it is a vulnerable position to be in. Of course now with magic i can just make servitors to guard me but it's not like i want someone to rot from the inside because they accidentally startled me. Hard for me to process this because i don't consider it impossible to be killed in a vulnerable position i learnt young that the danger is everywhere especially in your own home but also it's not like i am gonna be kill on sight i still like people.. >They know how to buy groceries! Have to teach them that no the little cancer inducing candy they just bought is not a good use of money sometimes.. Or to not get apples with wax or bell peppers with wax... >I had to realize most people cannot handle my energies Oh man if i let my energies out i wonder what the fuck would happen. Last time i saw a dark hand reach from the ceiling like physically i mean, i try my best to appear human behave human smell human.. >We need to retain the original purpose of fringe and not waste effort on other meaningless drivel Agreed but we should let people express themselves and not force people into a mold lol What i mean is we can have a shapeshifting thread a "power of the light" thread a jewish mysticism (lol) and a necromancy thread with corpse fuckers that's fine too. I don't want it to end up with a strong personality dominating the others into what to think. We should be able to understand each other of course and maybe have a standard a foundation the reading list works but we all rely on people having that image board culture to relate too but people should be able to sprout into anything. Everybody is different and although some things are similar people relate to different things. Kabbalah doesn't speak to me at all nor does any of the abrahamic faith, i just can't relate and probably never encountered them before this life. But you know what does? Female Goddess like Kali, a bunch of flowers connecting each other like the summerian tree of life? i remember that. Nature worship? makes sense to me i had no idea who the fuck this "father" male god was and although i like jesus's story it always sounded wrong on many facets i frankly hate their smell. >As long as they are innocent I don't mind it. The world we grew up in eats the innocent. >I can't stand insects. Sorry.

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Not even bees? :( >Pets can be cute but insects are no pets I try to not bee too judgmental in how life manifests itself. Different expression of energies, configurations that seems weird yet if it works for some maybe there is a place for it. >I wanted to help to shape the future into something greater Relatable >I am still glad I didn't try becoming a politician. Same i realized if i were to do that i would have to become an absolute dictator and start to assassinate everyone in power and anyone who could threaten my image. Realized that what i want isn't what the people here want so either i leave this country or change it to the point it won't be the same people and idk if i want that burden. >Really liked how the Malvakian calls the Prince Jester in VTMB Reinstalled. >Fucking swedes ruining and delaying the sequel again I was literally looking at swansong when you wrote this.wtf why does it look so bad? >You are expelling some stagnating energy. It has life on it's own but that is not it's "final form" So much man..petroleum. >This is not (You) this is some leftover energy from some other age? Hard to say for sure. I wonder, my ancestors suffered a lot so could be that, or just my pain. I am unsure but it's very heavy. >I am getting good at not strangling entities! Real proud of that development. Do you handshake? or you made a field where they have to wear nice clothes and get on their knees? >Yes that will totally happen because you don't have your "actual karma" yet but mere "placeholder karma" that you have as a human. Uh? sound kinda meaningless till i remember then. Because why would i accept this hell hole unless i had no choice or it's totally worth it if i survive to a certain date or fill an objective idk. >But I don't think you want to be a giant cancerous tumor over the earth They deserve it! Joking not i mean more like become a conduit and work fully with the earth but also with the humans and be both the ruler and the land in a divine marriage of energies..something like that. > Some people fall into the trap thinking their madness is "their truth" and trap themselves within the veil of madness. Yes but it can be necessary, if you don't believe your own madness are you even serious about it? >Bruh... "Looking at you" is the same as someone grabbing your entrails through your belly button then slowly licking it while you bite their neck if they don't do it fast enough. mm wonder if i am just not having old issues resurfacing that i can't connect to this current human and appear weird since nobody can relate to them. Still can't tell what it is though but i know people treated me much better before so i do have some anger about that like people used to not look at me in the eyes out of respect i think? not sure of the memories. >Was thinking maybe you have something that makes the noggin joggin. Maybe later then. Sure that "ideal body" sprouted some extra arms again, and one of the hands was holding a flower with 8 petal doing a mudra. It is white, the next day i count again..16? one behind the other white and blue. But it's like holographic it doesn't stop. Then i saw pic related and that's literally the flower i saw and how the 8 petal flower and 8 angled star is a symbol of Inanna and was wondering if i didn't worship her in some form and how they had a different understanding of the gods back then and how the way i see gods right now is straight up immature. Unsure what to do except meditate enough to reach a deeper insight before trying anything as it feels like i am being invited by many groups currently. Oh well i'll connect to the earth more deeply and try to reach a medium with the planet moons and sun energies. Maybe my last human lives are just so old that this modern human stock is extremely foreign. I do have some body language that seems largely obsolete with the current population and i can't digest wheat but rice and other grains are fine. I tried aghain but the inflammation is extremely serious, i am making a sourdough starter trying to teach my body to adapt slowly. >Carnal desires is for mortals and mortals cannot command ghosts while gods don't care about carnal desires the same way as mortals anymore I don't think anyone is truly "above it" you just internalize it and work with it in a way that is always beneficial to you and others there isn't that feeling of lack or imbalance it's simply something you do??

>>5552 What is a demon? I am serious because people here have different definition, or i am just retarded. I consider many humans to have "dormant demon DNA" for example that they can awaken to create a tail and horns. >>5567 So just energies that do things? Anyone can do that! No everybody do that just looking does that! Not to say it's not done intentionally by some "groups". >>5568 >Those boards are full with energies like lust and rage. I knew we will have to somewhat break through that. Idk man i don't have the alchemy figured out but it seems like potent energies to use even if it's just for protection. It's already interlinked.. Also did you know posting with a different css change the energies like a lot? weird when i noticed. But i am still not that good at it like a parfume store smelling of 30 different parfumes. >Everyone either covered in fear or made shields so they can be "someone else's problem" I mean i could do a cleansing but it would be painful to anyone who connects. Like how if a higher being touch you you start vomiting all over the place. >and reintroducing proper internet culture and etiquette is necessary Order and Chaos again! Idk how to balance it..mm DNA? proper conduit learning map..idk man i am tired today. > Whenever I purged this site it became "sterile" with no organic discussions Rofl so it was you? I was wondering wtf was happening mr phoenix. >then let the energies flow back into the site people reported anomalies that they couldn't put anywhere but they had no way starting a discussion with that /fringe/ have plants though.. Ugh a way where everyone can work with the right energies but also go to the right place but also don't get nuked too harshly but also don't muddy the water.. I think different threads to hold a certain type of energies is necessary or we go all over the place. Understanding decay seem to be the current theme so i was thinking a necromancy thread would be the best right now but i don't know anything about it yet and i am still studying the "nature of the soul" was wondering if there isn't someone who did that stuff for years and can share their insight...someone someone

>>5601 >The film, Waking Life, is about just that. Thanks mr egg. >but what’s my dumb ass know? Come on man learn to be nicer to yourself.

>>5612 Any magician worth their salt should be able to manifest a job maintaining legacy COBOL if they so desired.

>>5616 I mean yeah, you can have anything! How much you want it though? If it's a general spell "I have this job" depending on your level it could mean uprooting your whole life crashing it and starting anew in a new city with that exact job, you might lose it a bit when you realize you did the god equivalent of pulling the rug under your feet and that the past hellish months were your own magic doing exactly what you told it. Point is it kinda sucks especially with timeline shenanigans that might make people change or drop dead or whatever else people do. All humans considerate their lives they expect it to be here, you expect to wake up tomorrow in the same bed no? so they maintain it, you could throw all this away right now but do you want it enough? What about the fear as reality melts in front of you? can you handle that? Personally i want to grow as much as i want and never find myself in this dilemma of incarnating like this with no memories in a hellish fallen world. also you glow

I am going through several changes in the past days again so I won't post much but I will say this for now. >>5613 >I think different threads to hold a certain type of energies is necessary or we go all over the place. Exactly. That is what I want. Wanted to make an elaborate explanation about it but lost motivation... If every thread has it's signature and everyone will have a way to find their "Pathworking" in it then there won't be a "dominating energy" on the board that everyone will have to either subject himself to or oppose it. If you like the thread you interact with if not then leave it. It's literally how "Polytheistic" traditions worked. This my god only and everyone else is a false god is an absolute misunderstanding. The "You have to take a side" mentality needs to go. Not every tradition must be practiced by everyone but that doesn't mean they don't deserve respect in some regard (tho I must agree some followers give a bad streetcred to their tradition in some cases. And the most respect you can give to "cancer" is by curing it and not by tolerating it's spread) >What is a demon? In this context they should be called "energetic parasites" that force the people into a behavioral pattern that generate degenerative energies/actions/posts where they can nest and spread. >I am serious because people here have different definition It refers either to the "Daemon" the spirits of the golden age or other respectable goetia demons and co which can be positive if you can handle them Or the christian "demon" definition which means any type of evil spirit. Anon meant energy parasites for sure which shouldn't be called demons at all because they are so low level 90% of the times. Very few of them are salvageable. Most of them mere rogue thoughtforms that came to life with the extreme level of low energies and obsessions from their makers. In some cases the "stench" of these low energies are so intoxicating it can corrupt some actual spirits to follow this behavior. Buddhism has a thing where they respect "every sentient being" so I picked up a way how I can notice it So weird sometimes. I walk outside after a rainy day and I feel my foot is not properly on the ground for some reason. Was wondering wtf then I put down my foot properly. Then I crush a snail under my feet... I am intuitively able to detect any sorts of lifeforms and measure the level of sentience in some cases but not always able to "respect them". I have to figure out how to attain my "Higher routines". Learned some new lessons in the past days and I am loss for words again.(Also when I was complaining about insects I was talking about mosquitoes) >I consider many humans to have "dormant demon DNA" for example that they can awaken to create a tail and horns. Actually most demons are humans. The human body possesses all living animals/beings on earth on genetic and energetic level. When merging or overcoming the inner animal they can integrate parts of them once they unlock it's "higher meaning". They "ascend" to a "demonic plane" as a semi-animal/human+spirit. I too have many animal body parts but they are mostly "placeholders" until I figure out their truth. >I mean i could do a cleansing but it would be painful to anyone who connects. "Cleansing" is about making your own energies or principles "dominant". Some people are maniacal about cleaning their house and keeping everything "tidy" because a speck of dust challenges their "energetic dominance". When you do a cleanse you make your own energies and principles "dominate" the place. Ofc it lasts as long as the energies have staying power and surface cleansing and in dejewsleansing is different altogether. Not to mention I want people to generate enough energy that we don't need to "routinely cleanse" because the interactions are just so potent it becomes hard to penetrate in any way. Hard to explain the "Nuance" and how everyone is part of a greater system because some occultists fall into a megalomaniac delusion where everyone is either with them or against them and that stage causes absolute drama and paranoia and I really don't want to bring that back. My goal is to figure out the proper background energy for this site that "shows the way towards enlightenment" instead of trying to tardwrangle the users into a behavioral pattern. Mindcontrol energies limits the expression and growth of others. I don't want to do that. >Like how if a higher being touch you you start vomiting all over the place. That is required so you get rid of your "stored" negative energies. I had that twice but never again. Nowadays I require more subtle training. What can happen when your energies are too much of an eldritch abomination the place becomes too "disgusting" to post. Like it will have an eerie forcefield. Wanted to make an in depth analysis of the "karma of fringe" a while ago but I realized getting rid of those energies is almost easier in some cases than actually detailing them. >Rofl so it was you? n-no... it was definitely not m-me! It was you and your procrastination and shyness b-baka! how can I a low level magician even think of influencing this great board! I don't do it often tho so it's definitely not 'always' me >I was wondering wtf was happening mr phoenix. Yeah the board really requires some "water" energies but it might cause unnecessary telepathy/extra intrusive thoughts for the sensitive userbase. My way is about disintegrating unnecessary energies and rerouting the useful ones into some "cultivator force". I don't really have much use for them personally. This <I looshfarm you lololo mentality is not applicable anymore. People will have to realize the energetic ecosystem egregores operate by and how they can improve it as they interact with it. Consider fringe the community garden of some "Looshfarmers". Tho I prefer the term "looshcultivator" and I do not wish to keep this on a "garden" stage. >/fringe/ have plants though.. Yes several hundred if not more. They are energetic stabilizers and recyclers. The least intrusive ones. This is why even paradise worlds have plants but not animals. They are just that useful on many levels of existence. The problem is that they are slow. >Ugh a way where everyone can work with the right energies but also go to the right place but also don't get nuked too harshly but also don't muddy the water.. Yes that would be the goal. >Understanding decay seem to be the current theme so i was thinking a necromancy thread would be the best right now but i don't know anything about it yet and i am still studying the "nature of the soul" was wondering if there isn't someone who did that stuff for years and can share their insight...someone someone Stop reminding me. Wanted to make that thread for months but aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I am in a breakthrough process again where I can trash half my previous methods that were crucial for my understanding because they become finally unnecessary. But you know what? You can also make that thread! Or keep practicing and hope others will make it instead. Seriously. It's always a big question. Refine your techniques further or start distributing it? Currently I have to refine it but that doesn't mean I won't start talking about once I reach a vantage point again. K this post became longer than I thought and messy as usual. >>5616 I remember how Merlin and Moses did that to reach their heights. Powerful Kobold legacy magic! You are not magician if you don't maintain your kobolds!

>>5617 I just said that about COBOL because you seemed to be a bit fatalistic about the whole programming job thing. Really, the first thing a magician is to do is sort out his living situation in order to be able to do whatever it is he wants to do. But you seem fatalistic in general.

>>5627 >dejewsleansing how the fuck did this even happen Deepercleansing was the word I wrote I think?

which wordfilter did I even hit here? dejewsleansing?

>>5632 I hate when I randomly discover this "lore" tbh I meant the cleanse to have "depth" At least glowniggers won't take down this site by spamming pizza on it that easily with these annoying word filters around.

>>5627 >I am going through several changes in the past days Same i wonder how synced we are btw. We share a mind through /fringe/ so i believe everyone will get a boost at the same time if they bother to get involved. but..timeline shenanigans is weird eh? is my moon your moon? was there even a moon to begin with? or simply a reflection of my self in a lunar shape? Me and the sun are trying to talk to each other wonder when it'll stop burning me. > Wanted to make an elaborate explanation about it but lost motivation... Here is the thing you already did what you had to do whilst "wanting to elaborate". I think we are mistaking calibrating for mistakes sometimes when it's just us trying to reach balance..then again getting eaten by a tiger is nature taking her share soo can't say my understanding of nature is for everyone right now. >If you like the thread you interact with if not then leave it. This is sacred esoteric tier knowledge anon! >It's literally how "Polytheistic" traditions worked Yeah you feel attracted to a god and worship him or her then as your relation get closer you might start going nuts and think you are the son or daughter of god and even get some proofs, as you get closer you change again so does your understanding.. but it's like people get stuck or maybe it just appears to me that way? Like if someone think he's the son of god he's gonna think that his whole life, but people don't even get to that point so someone thinking that i might say they have great potential these days.. >This my god only and everyone else is a false god is an absolute misunderstanding. It's disgusting is what it is. >The "You have to take a side" mentality needs to go. Not every tradition must be practiced by everyone Agreed, always felt like my way was "long lost" or unique because i couldn't accept any of the current "paths" their definition of God isn't what i looked for at all. Had to do my own things no matter what even if i drink from common waters sometimes i take what i need leave what i don't. But i'd like to say that's everyone you're just given a template learn the rules break them when you understand them, i would have gone with nature worship if it was practiced in my society and build from there but ofc none of that so i had to shield myself and wait for my time to reconnect somehow now i know better i can make it by myself without projecting my own feelings which end up as real threats.. >In this context they should be called "energetic parasites" that force the people into a behavioral pattern that generate degenerative energies/actions/posts where they can nest and spread. Oh this makes sense... buuut okay why are they born? If we all focus on a certain picture of a walking stick subconsciously we embody it with feeling and emotions through weak links that use our perception, eventually it might come alive and do what all our unconscious energies made it do. kinda like if everybody threw random shit in a pot and over time it either disintegrate or reach a stability. Ofc it depends on how much and of what you put, a quick glance isn't much, but if you think about it later through the link you may add more than people who barely noticed it. The thing is i am very curious as my understanding is missing something. Why is this possible in the first place? why can we do that? And of course, what is it born from? Astral matter? Yeah what is that? We act like it's a solid concept but everybody her have a definition no? Ofc sometimes it's hard to tell more or less dense? are we at etheric yet ? I liked how the Kybalion divided into 7 makes it easier to understand though this also is illusory..my fav number is 6 though What's behind the light? Then i started thinking of the universe, how one day everything will decay and even the photons will decay and even the waves and everything will fall back into..the void ofc It is nothing yet it contain the possibility of everything. It's where i was born, but see i wonder if there is a difference between say a human soul and a thought form. Aren't they both from the unmanifest? You could say one is from god the other from an imperfect incomplete god. See that's our problem we give birth and father monsters.. Then again idk how others work i might be the weird one but for me i can create out of myself but maybe everybody does they just don't have that link i have yet or refuse to explain it. >Buddhism has a thing where they respect "every sentient being" so I picked up a way how I can notice it Ok so my understanding is that, even if we fail this time and the universe dies we can start in the other buuuut It's like a drop of water joining the ocean and losing it's individuality to be remade into something else. so by the time an entity is sentient it can progress and always "repent" even if evil by learning what it do into the other it does to itself. >Actually most demons are humans.

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..are they? I came to the conclusion succubus are one of the "evolution path" of humans but i was wondering if they lost something important by doing that or not. The thing is a lot of humans aren't "people" at all like they may look humans but they lack something and i believe it's on a dna level. Kinda like if i made a body to look human but had no idea what it means to be that so i just use earthly dna to get the appearance right and call it a day. I am not sure if it's most people, or if the npc are just bodies who lack a human signature with no potential for a human soul to inhabit it or maybe if the dna gets too damaged the soul fucks off. >"Cleansing" is about making your own energies or principles "dominant" Too bad my "own energies" is more like a tiger pissing on a tree scratching the front door pooping in the living room and carrying a half rotten carcass to eat on the bed then i start breaking the windows and realize all i wanted was a comfy warm enough cave that made me feel safe so i can sleep and eat in peace. I don't want dominance i want cooperation i don't want any responsibilities i just want to do what i want to do and work with nature i work best unrestricted i want to figure myself by myself ultimately i pursue my own happiness and i want everyone to figure themselves out too! >Hard to explain the "Nuance" and how everyone is part of a greater system because some occultists fall into a megalomaniac delusion where everyone is either with them or against them and that stage causes absolute drama and paranoia. You eat fruit you poop fruit seed now more tree. You eat rabbit you throw rabbit innards you make plant and tree and dog happy by giving back. You feel sick you let blood out to the earth it goes you gave the feelings/energies back. You herd animal animal soul evolve with human and eating it "process" their energies into higher form oh look we got some evolvin going on! It's that fucking simple! Now that's not to the point where we can feed from sunlight or whatever but that's good enough for a start. And as you build a human ego?group soul?egregore? now you got a tribe going! Oh look the kid got eaten by a tiger..it's ok he will return! and what's more depending on how connected he will come back as one of us again! yay! When it's like this it's okay to die! You learn from the animals the earth the sun the moon the starts and you evolve! Now that's just my current understanding i am still digging it. And yes we can make this place "spin" have it's own energies and way of teaching that incorporate all the diversity of people instead of screaming and cursing each other. >My way is about disintegrating unnecessary Yeah but how. It has to disintegrate into the right form unless you're talking about "return to the void". Unless you want to become a tree here we have to find a way to make /fringe/ do it by herself. ok got a vision as i wrote this. So /fringe/ is a library/tower and right now we are under the roots eh? So as if we can manage to get this place going it'll shoot us up! connecting to the stars and the universe. >and I do not wish to keep this on a "garden" stage. Modern humans problems tbh. You take from the garden but you don't give back to the garden so the earth gets weaker till it's barren or you take energies from somewhere else to feed it but that's something that creates so much more problem in the long run not to say you can't do it ever if you know what you're doing you're just borrowing it for a time but gotta be REALLY careful I am against modern agriculture for this reason you impoverish the whole earth and rob her of her energies not realizing you'll pay it back in full eventually. but ugh..seriously the fuck happened to humans, i am dealing with issues that aren't even mine but more like "environmental resistances" as if i wasn't a mess to begin with! Make me want to break it all sink or swim assholes! >The problem is that they are slow. I have some "experimental" magic for that but i need to try it more. It just cause things to go through a cycle basically i am not sure if it's even a type of "magic" as it's just something consciousness should do? I am waiting to reach a stability before attempting anything. >and hope others will make it instead I don't need to hope i can just will it :D Problem is i hesitate when i can't see the whole picture i have my share of monsters-children. >Currently I have to refine it but that doesn't mean I won't start talking about once I reach a vantage point again. I used to be scared to talk about things now i am talking too much..pendulum yay Sure hard to reach any stability but i am less indecisive... got a vision of me as a hermaphrodite covered slightly in mud/ooze and blood holding 2 axes the one with a pointy end. these days i am more like a bunch of diamond shapes pieces rhombus some black some white some both floating around. Oh right wanted to say i discovered how my own feelings loop back on each other and one of the reason i don't get too attached to people is if i love them too much i want to hurt them. It's like if you love someone to death now you want to torture them and eat them but if they learn from your love they become you.. wait what? My energies are wild so i keep them to myself or i am forced to balance them, my cycle are extremely short so i can turn a good day into something dangerous if i lose control and let emotions leave my immediate spheres... Btw one of the reason i am posting so much more is because i always regretted not participating in the older /fringe/ like i needed to but also it wasn't the time yet. Have to free my feelings and only when it will feel complete can i move on, it's the same for everything. Also realizing how i am subconsciously recreating my own childhood with people i meet by assigning them roles with my energies.. it's weird how we try to heal even as we run away.. also >They "ascend" to a "demonic plane" as a semi-animal/human+spirit Got overtaken by a wasp spirit and started thinking myself as one. Strange energies but i realize some of my ways are that of the wasp and hornet especially the way i treat mantids..

>>5628 >Really, the first thing a magician is to do is sort out his living situation in order to be able to do whatever it is he wants to do. Yes and no tbh. <if only i had this and that then i could do this! I realized that, the issue i had in my parents house and the issues i have now are the same. That it'll be just as difficult to meditate in a shitty apartment with your neighbors screaming at each other as it will be in a mansion. That the stress you can feel because of financial troubles or safety reason will also show itself when you're rich albeit in different forms. So as a poor person you might worry about rent and food as a rich person you'll worry about business your children being retards, reputation etc. Now i am also against people gatekeeping magic. If you're in a bad situation nothing like a quick spell to get you out of there! My life was in danger before and i used magic to save myself again and again if i listened to "muh proper ritual invoke the name of god be selfless" guys i would have been fucked! My magic come from myself and it is for myself first and foremost i help other because i realize how we're al interconnected and basically "don't shit where you eat" and i want to eat from the whole world. Real selfishness is in fact selfless that loop can be closed. But once you can sleep enough and eat enough safe enough it's time to work on yourself and stop running away. >the whole programming job thing. I don't want a job i don't want benefits i don't retirement i don't want colleagues i want humans to be what they were supposed to be. I want us to work for ourselves first and only by doing that can we work for each other. I am tired of this facade we have going on i want to be my own ruler my own king not shit on other and be shitted on.

>>5664 >If we all focus on a certain picture of a walking stick subconsciously we embody it with feeling and emotions through weak links that use our perception, eventually it might come alive and do what all our unconscious energies made it do. You are describing a meme. >Why is this possible in the first place? why can we do that? Because thoughts are alive, and thinking is an act of sex and birth. Everything that exist is in motion, and motion is life. All motion is life. Literally. Everything breathes and everything has a heartbeat. Rocks have heartbeats. >Astral matter? Yeah what is that? First, what is astral? If I project to Narnia am I in the "astral"? I think it's just baseline reality frequencies. Frequencies more dissimilar to where the awareness is seated appear less dense and less stable. And what is "matter"? Physics says matter and energy are the same thing. Energy and thoughts are also the same thing. What's the different? Phase-states? Level of motion? Something like vibration-resonance maybe. Try connecting your mind to a rock then connecting your mind to a ghost. Also I think "matter" is a lot less solid than people think. The religion of materialism helps it increase its stability. But that's just a thought-attribute at the end of the day. You can see the same effect in certain dreams and astral planes.

>>5666 You are describing a meme He described alotta memes actually; he described the natural formation process of egregores.

>>5613 >Also did you know posting with a different css change the energies like a lot? Changing your computer's desktop environment and themes also does this. Very dramatically. I used to run XFCE that was riced to look exactly like Windows 95. Somehow this caused an energetic disturbance in my computer that caused major bugs to constantly pop up in the website that I work as a manager for. This issue completely went away once I switched desktop environments back to GNOME.