Having grown up as junior member of the Flensers on the hive city of Adumbria, I have always had a healthy appreciation for authority, and staying on its good side, so when my CO (Lieutenant shawl) told me I was seconded to some Imperial agents special operation as a bodyguard, I of course smiled, saluted, and very nearly shook his hand. Then I had the pleasure of sitting in a shuttle and playing solitaire for 2 hours with a rather taciturn and heavily muscled man with a shockingly large repeating blaster. Missing PT and having downtime? Now this was the life. The only way it could have been better was if I had a beer. Sadly the officer in question did eventually turn up and off we went to a rather grimy industrial planet. Since I was now on a spy mission I wasn't allowed to wear my uniform (Which was easily the 7th best perk of joining the Empire) and since my civilian clothes had long since been lost all I had was a bathrobe on. Luckily my new CO took little notice and after telling us both his name set off to meet his contact. I guess he wasnt given any scrip for a taxi or other expenses because once we were let off from the shuttle (nearly a kilometer from the edge of the city in a dingy swamp) we had to hoof it all the way into the city and find a hotel. I was looking forward to raiding the bar but only seconds after entering some concierge began questioning my fellow trooper (I think he took issue with the heavy blaster but damned if I was going to give him a chance to blow our cover only a few hours into the mission) so informed him he was on break and to not speak to us. (As a kid I had access to a hivers education which meant looted books that were earmarked to be burned for being hopelessly out of date, including one about some hokey religion I quite enjoyed and even practised some.) And with him gone I walked behind the counter and grabbed the skeleton key, an old trick I used to use when I needed a room. So then we found the room for our COs contact and I opened it up and cleared it of hostiles. Sadly there was no ambush and only one pudgy man running to fat drinking at a minibar which I of courae immediately helped myself to as well. Then the officers began discussing some boring claptrap about the mission while I watched traffic from the window and drank. This mission was starting to look up.
Ten minutes later they had finished and we were back in the hallway. I asked of we had a safehouse and apparently it had not come up. This rather irked me as I was looking forward to some shut eye after all the marching about. So O suggested we borrow an empty room. Before someone could tell me no I began knocking on doors and announcing myself as room service. On the second door we tried we got bo answer and so I of course used the hotels main key and let us in. Where there was another minibar! But only a single bed. My new squadmates seemed nice enough but there was no way I was going to be sharing a room. so I asked the officer to please go downstairs and disable the security for this room and the one next door, and once he left asked my fellow trooper to face the wall and count to 20.
Then pulled out my laser sword (an old invention according to my books and the devil itself to build but apparently essential in the hokey religions meditation practices. In truth I mainly used it for locks) broke into the next room, murdered the shrieking guest (some slut) and informed my CO that this room was now mine and to please leave me alone. Annoyingly they got upset at the dead body and started asking me questions. I hate questions. Then they asked me to get rid of the body (thus ruining a perfectly good meat pillow and my plans for the evening, though I did snag her panties before dismembering and flushing her down the toilet). No sooner had I finished this and returned from the bathroom to find them both freaking out because apparently she was an acquintence of some random asshole who was somehow connected to our mission. I was never going to get my nap at this rate I suspected.