Oh man, too much to even begin, really. But I should refer to them as astral experiences rather than dreams. I very rarely dream anymore.

>>65 tell moar plz

Lately I've been experiencing nightmares. I live NEET life and it's been quite negative as of late. It's been about 12 hours since I've woken up but I'll try to recount. In last nights dream I was 18 years younger, I was wearing all purple and my mom and some man were driving my brother in I around in a large parking garage. I had the feeling we were going to some kind of amusement park but there was some off putting feeling about the people in the cars around us. Yesterday my mom mentioned the band "The Cars" so maybe that pushed my dream in that direction. Life is strange.

>>80 I've been astral travelling for decades. I've been all sorts of places. Have you read John Kreiter's books? I might not be as skilled and experienced as he is, but I know that dark ocean he talks about and it's sobering to realize how completely lost mankind is right now. As I grow older my "young people are clueless", my "normies are clueless" and my "mundanes are clueless" have merged into one super nihilistic clusterfuck that has paralyzed me utterly.

>>112 I've actually been reading John Kreiter's astral projection book myself. On that topic, how did you first get into APing? Was it just a natural thing for you? >tfw unenlightened youngster

>>124 It was a natural thing for me since as young as I can remember. Don't trust anyone like me who says they can teach you. I haven't walked the path in this life and I wouldn't know how to go about it. Did you know the "enlightened" thing is literal? You see a light. It changes many things, but many stay exactly the same.

>>53 I've had many but one particular event I had was that of an old woman with a shotgun appearing at the foot of my bed speaking in spanish about angels and I understood her despite the language barrier when I was half-asleep/half-awake.

Once while I meditated I felt surrounded by spirits entranced by my glowing energy body. After dispersing, one girl remained. She began talking to me in Japanese. I don’t speak Japanese, and I didn’t understand a thing. I managed to ask for her name, but I’ve since forgotten and I didn’t seen her again.

I experienced something interesting in hypnogogia last night. At first only a small fraction of my consciousness was aware of my body, but then when my consciousness more fully possessed it, the feeling was so physically palpable. I guess it was the re-entry of some level of "energy body". It definitely reminds me of all the books and diagrams I've seen that illustrate such things. Maybe if I can find and memorize an accurate one, it will help me to navigate experiences in that state. Like how Gurdjieff's "centers" are a sort of map to waking life.

>>218 >Maybe if I can find and memorize an accurate one I could not find "accurate" ones so far. The way the energy body can appear can be either symbolic (with animals people religious emblems or sigils) or super specific (with energetic circuits and channels like the human body but far more colorful). It has layers upon layers. It is like reading a book. You read a page and turn the page once you understand what is written on it then you read the next and don't understand it until you read the next page after it. Diagrams are usually manifestations of systems the authors came up with so if you find a diagram from a different system that had no relation with that tradition or way of thinking it will portray things from different angles with seemingly no relation at all. Even in daoism they say that unlocking the "inner eye" is important so you can see the different manifestations of the subtle body and once you unlock the inner eye the way the body works might appear completely different from the diagrams. But at that level there is no need for diagrams anymore because you can see what you are doing. It has so many layers and the way the energies move meet and transform within and without is truly spectacular. The more I see it myself the more I understand why it is so hard to make a simple and concise system in spirituality. The map-territory relation fallacy. Mistaking the map for the territory as they say. As I was dwelling deeper within myself I always had an urge to look at anatomy and spiritual diagrams especially after the chakra system appeared for me far more complicated than the mainstream one and as I looked into the chakra diagrams and articles I realized there is no properly agreed upon system here. Then I stopped looking at diagrams for a while but later I had an urge to look at anatomy drawings because I felt that I am working out how the energies work with relation with my nerves capillaries and muscles and I wanted to look at medical anatomy images on the web. Then my guides asked me. >Do you really want to base your understanding upon false images instead of wanting to see it for yourself? With this they did not discourage me but noted that using false images as reference or thinking that the images represent truth will just make misconceptions in my mind. It doesn't mean those diagrams are completely useless or misleading but there is a point where we must let go of them. What I am doing now is biomancy and for the sole purpose of stabilizing my psychic abilities because imbalances in the body cause imbalances in the mind which cause imbalances in the psyche and with that my whole existence becomes an >Anomalous Experience As we work with the paranormal we slowly understand how natural are these phenomenons when the conditions are met and the more I work with these anomalies the less otherworldly they feel. It just becomes a way of life like everything else. Long were the ages when mystics were a common thing the common folk revered and treasured and I wonder when can we return into an age of proper mysticism

>>219 >can be either symbolic (with animals people religious emblems or sigils) or super specific I forgot to mention plants. They are so common that I forgot to consider them anomalous at all... They can appear as roots branches and different kind of flowers petals and leaves. Most symbolic manifestations will be plants because they are the closest to the real thing. When the Buddha gave me a flower and as I took it I realized I am becoming a flower I even asked him that >Will this turn me into a plant He casually said yes. Took me a while to understand what it means and what it means to cultivate. Humans learned cultivation via planting the soil. Plants grow from the darkness of the soil and mature via the light of the sun. Spiritual cultivation is also about understanding the light and darkness surrounding us and how that makes us grow and how our growth reshapes the environment. Just had a breakthrough yesterday and I realized I forgot to mention the plants... Even Fringe Girl has energetic plants manifesting around her and I forgot to mention them. They are the most harmonic expressions of spirituality. Important to not forget them.

I had a dream last night where a contingent of aliens put 2 planets in front of the earth and said they're gonna destroy the world soon unless humanity finds the power from within to stop them. When they said power from within, my mind thought of THE ALL that's within everyone. If it matters, both planets put in front of the earth resembled the earth, but with purple land and greyish-white water; one planet was maybe 8 times bigger than the other, and the smaller one was placed directly in front of the bigger one. I recall having read about such a topic here in the past; people said that this planet will have to be destroyed in the near future, so I'm assuming that either humanity will have to use physicality-altering magic to neutralize or eliminate the NWO soon, or else this planet will have to be destroyed to prevent everyone that isn't a powerful occultist from having their free will stolen from them outright by the NWO's technology for ages to come.

>>226 Small planet is the ultima thule, which is the planet we live on now, it's a small part of the real earth which has been dimensionally twisted and locked behind a gate. From our view it's at antarctica, but in reality it's "all the way around the earth as we know it". It's the ice wall, but it appears as only a continent. Opening that gate will unite the northern small earth with the large sphere out there, the "original africa" to the south. The "out of africa" theory implies humans came from a larger geography to the south, it doesn't talk about africa which we know of. The sphere earth is a dimensional illusion created fairly recently, the exact details were discussed on /x/ a few months ago. You can try astral travelling to antarctica and you can see the gate, if you are just aware of it. Go beyond and view the large planet. Natural resources aren't limited at all, it's all fake.

>>226 >>227 As the "universe expands" theory is mainstream nowadays and yes the earth can also expand but it is more like the dimensions shift and arrange themselves in a new way. It's interesting they are sending out messages about the process. Guess it is necessary for some. >planet will have to be destroyed in the near future I would say "rearranged" like how the tectonic plates move but with larger dimensional layers. >unless humanity finds the power from within The world without their people becomes a lifeless rock and gets destroyed as a natural consequence (Those self hating retards that say the earth would be better without humans on it have zero connection with earth itself). Those who are unable to hear the calling were never really people to begin with. I don't know what they are anymore. NPCs are at least making the game playable but it seems most people are just buggy programs nowadays. But the debugging is on it's way. >my mind thought of THE ALL that's within everyone. Within and without everything and everyone. Ask the voice within maybe he will answer.

>>226 Interesting. From this dream and other stuff I’ve gathered from myself and others, I’ve come to believe that currently the incarnated souls are going to be moved over to two different universes depending on their energetic makeup. It is very much a “harvest” in a way. The Rapture seems to be the process by which our matured souls are going to be reclassified according to their nature, since cohabitation is no longer energetically possible. Your dream seems to imply it would be possible to avoid this by bypassing polarization altogether and transcending, but that is not a viable option for the bulk of humanity, is it? Moreover, it also looks like the majority of souls will end up in on planet, while a minority will make to the other. I don’t think the Earth itself will be destroyed, since the planet has its own path. I think it will just be vacated.

Reporting my last bad nightmare I mentioned in the Question Thread. This was the day after the nightmare where I spinebuster'd a vision. I was having art class in school, and the same kid from the previous nightmare starting scribbling something with a marker on my jeans, I confronted him then said to the teacher look at this motherfucker. But the confrontation was verbal, in the form of a scolding, and it had no effect. Most students laughed at me. At this point the training kicked in and I became a wizard, with cloak and all. I would go hovering in the class chanting something that sounded like "hakuna/kahuna thai/kal", while my enemies came at me like an horde, but it got the best of them. Then the enemy now was this gigantic kid with a deformed face that looked like fetal alcohol syndrome and had this insane bloodlust. I would run and fly throught the halls and use "corporeous magick" to transverse walls and to hide in corners of the ceiling. There were also a bunch of fat black shirtless guys with shaved heads and some kind of white skirt that made me think of South Asia, and they carried a machete each of them in their right hand. They also run and tried to get me. When we met we would fight each other chanting that kahuna thing. I had thus far avoided any direct attacks on my person. I was in a room when one of these shirtless dudes screamt "hes here" and the gigantic kid came rushing into the room, but I used my corporeal magic to be at the same physical space as the wall and hide there. Then I fired an attack on his back and it went through cleanly. It was over. One of the machete guys hurled himself at the body that lied on the ground and cried "master!!", another that stood beside me said "its not over yet hes still moving" and I replied "his rpm is too low. hes a dead man". But then I saw he get up and grab the machete guy as if it were a doll and started beheading him slowly and then began stiching his body into his own as some sort of healing mechanism, this was too horrid and i was feeling queasy and then i woke up. Also important to note that before entering the room I was in a labyrinthine bathroom. Bathrooms, especially public bathrooms are recurring elements of my dreams.

>>242 >labyrinthine bathroom I used to have these a lot earlier, I concluded to me they represent the physical world, where "looking for an empty toilet stall" was the same as trying to fulfill desires in the flesh. It's no different from taking a shit, no matter what desire it appears like. At one point the dreams stopped appearing, I assume when these things were less on my mind.

>>242 >Also important to note that before entering the room I was in a labyrinthine bathroom. Bathrooms, especially public bathrooms are recurring elements of my dreams. Those are interdimensional connector places. It's about cleansing. In the past humans cleansed themselves in rivers and ponds then in bathhouses and temples. Nowadays we don't have bathhouses we do not cleanse ourselves via a river or a pond nor do we go to a church for cleansing. Because of that to connect to other worlds and to other parts of our psyche we have to go through these representations. I too had these dreams in the past >>248 >they represent the physical world The way we cleanse ourselves in the physical world yes. Until we become either clean or discover our own way of cleansing ourselves it repeats from time to time. >this was too horrid and i was feeling queasy You are truly far more of a proper human than me. If this happens to me my mind goes into THIS IS A VIDEOGAME mindset and my body uses it's RULES OF NATURE reflexes and no amount of horror can distraught me. I have to slowly let go of that mindset tho. Not good for further spiritual work and it keeps me addicted to high action videogames. Also the other parts sound like regular social anxiety/childhood traumas going out of proportion because they still affect your life and you are still unable to overcome it. Some minor entities might exploit it but I would say this is forcing you to awaken by yourself. You have no choice but to fight and get rid of these fears no matter what. The way we do it depends on our nature and I am too gung-ho solving things via violence so I am slowly learning to not use it by reflex. For you this might take time until you gather your courage to face your fears. I am not saying you are fearful because you handled this situation well but if you were in that class IRL the trauma of that experience would have hurt you. After overcoming these fears no one will even dare to fuck with you. Or if they do you will be able to diffuse those situations because you don't feel helpless anymore. The fact that you were able to go into wizard mode instead of enduring silently shows you are on the good track for finding your own power.

>>248 >where "looking for an empty toilet stall" was the same as trying to fulfill desires in the flesh In these labyrinthine toilets it's more like feeling lost and trying to find something to do, rather than actually wanting to use the toilet. Most of my time spent there is trying to find the exit. If I try to use a toilet it's because other people there are staring at me and I try to act normal, but I don't wanna spend much time in these places. >>251 >Those are interdimensional connector places. I often have this feeling of "distortion" when I'm at these bathrooms. Like those poorly edited amateur movies. My thoughts will often focus on dirt, these bathrooms are often dirty or have bizarre architecture (insanely large urinals that go from ceiling to floor). They somewhat resemble liminal spaces. Some dreams involve being instructed to shower in "military style" bathrooms with no privacy, and in these I always refuse to shower and to undress before the others, I find some way to hide or to cover myself. I think these might be two different kinds of dream symbolism. The first is probably one of these interdimensional connectors you spoke of, especially because these are places I exit before getting into the "actual" dream. But the second might be something about baring oneself(?). The military style toilets have no distortion and generally play an actual part in the dreams story. >regular social anxiety/childhood traumas going out of proportion because they still affect your life and you are still unable to overcome it. Some minor entities might exploit it but I would say this is forcing you to awaken by yourself. You have no choice but to fight and get rid of these fears no matter what. I had read somewhere that ancient egyptians refused to write about bad things out of fear that they might manifest in their lifes, and used a similar approach to these sort of problems. I would try to undo by not acknowledging. I see this is not working and often leads to a build-up of bad energy.

>>254 >that ancient egyptians refused to write about bad things out of fear that they might manifest in their lifes While they were wise in some matters they were quite retarded in others. >I see this is not working and often leads to a build-up of bad energy. You came to the right conclusion. Ignoring a problem just makes it worse. Writing about your problems usually means you are working on it. And once your problem manifest you can deal with it. It is also important. Better manifest a problem in a situation when you can handle it and solve it or you might reach a point where you have no proper control over your life nor a say in the timing and way of that bad thing's manifestation. Also never avoid fear. You will have to conquer it. Fear is not the worst thing. The worst thing is usually the thing that causes the fear and you will need a clear conscience to defeat it no matter what form it takes. >I often have this feeling of "distortion" when I'm at these bathrooms. Like those poorly edited amateur movies. My thoughts will often focus on dirt, these bathrooms are often dirty or have bizarre architecture (insanely large urinals that go from ceiling to floor). Now this is new. For me they are just large places but the showers and other appliances are normal sized and not surreal fuckhuge. Probably because the moment I figure out I am in a dream I go ballistic so it tries to keep me asleep. Also mine are clean. Way too clean. The dirtiest I've seen was actually old and that is why the mural was a little brownish but not dirty. >But the second might be something about baring oneself(?). Oh that one is important. We born naked we die naked. Our energy body is naked. It can manifest symbols or clothes but it is naked. Wearing clothes actually blocks our natural energy flow. And shame. Shame is a bad reflex. You will have to get over it because it also blocks vital energy flows. I had naked dreams more than a decade ago where I noticed my zipper is down or I am in my underpants or with no pants on while talking to people and I thought >if they were not bothered by my nakedness before then they are ignoring it already. Why should I care if they don't care With that the dreams usually went into the "next chapter". I don't know if you live alone or if you have any privacy but try to get naked and feel how natural it is to be naked. If you are anxious about the way your body or a body part look try to realize that it is your shame that makes it ugly and not it's inherent ugliness. Try to accept your body because that is the first step when you can start working on it and feel it's natural energy flow. And proper energy flows heal the body. Took me time to realize the importance of it. First I realized while meditating I need to be shirtless because my upper body generates too much sweat while doing my energy work. I still had my socks and pants on because my legs were still cold. Then I realized my lotus is faulty because my socks makes my foot slip down. So I took them off. Then as my legs started to regain their energy flow I dropped my pants. Then I realized my crotch has almost the most important energy flow mechanism in the entire lotus position and it obstructed the way the energies flow. There are extremely important muscle movements in your hip area for energy work. When I meditate the room usually gets warmer once my energies stabilize. Becoming Skyclad is important and it is not about nudism but realizing that this shame is not natural and it just leads to inhibited feelings desires and ultimately perversion. Some anons said in the past that when a female entity appeared front of them naked the entity told them to not feel lust. For me it was weird. Whenever I noticed an entity naked my mind went into "spiritual mode" and lust never even appeared for me while when I was horny no entity wanted to approach me. I mean I can make them have sex with me but it feels wrong... Especially because I can manually overload my nerves for a full body orgasm and doing that makes me aware just how retarded it is... If an entity does something lewd with me it is usually just a warm up for a spiritual lesson and not a deranged sexual thing. Prudism ruined everything. It managed to create the opposite effect. Prude regions are usually the most porn addicted. They denied their own natural energies and created an unnatural perversion in it's stead.

>>254 Btw did you figure out your own dreamcheck method? Hope you are doing it. Focusing on it even while writing your posts and eating or living the day to make sure it is not a dream. Constantly dreamchecking connects parts of the subconscious and the unconscious. It forces you to question everything that is happening. Also if you made a magic sword for yourself practice holding it in your hand and swinging it while bored. It awakens the energy body and being able to pull in the energy body into the dream is important. There are dreams when our limbs don't move and learning to reactivate them is important. I remember I had dreams where my legs didn't work so I started to run and jump with my hands. Nightmares subside once you become the scariest part of it.

>>254 >In these labyrinthine toilets it's more like feeling lost and trying to find something to do, rather than actually wanting to use the toilet. Most of my time spent there is trying to find the exit. If I try to use a toilet it's because other people there are staring at me and I try to act normal For me it used to be having a strong urge to use the toilet, but there are always some problems with them. The stall door can't be locked, I enter it but the toilet is not installed (just a hole in the floor), I keep walking and think I'll find one but they're all broken or locked in some way. During a session with Sepheranz/Illivryn she said these places are hell, and it's the same experience as being down there. Waking up from the dream means still being in hell and having to solve the problem later, during the day or week. If the situation is solved in the dream, it's solved and was like a test. I mentioned other specific dreams to her, like being naked with only a towel in a mall and looking for a pool that was supposed to be there. This dream ended when I actually found my way to the roof and there was a pool and flower pots with flowers. Illivryn said this means I passed the test. >these bathrooms are often dirty or have bizarre architecture (insanely large urinals that go from ceiling to floor). They somewhat resemble liminal spaces I've tended to see the dirt but feel that it's "comfy" somehow, which I suppose means that there are dirty things I like which I don't see that they are dirty while awake. I also used to have dreams of being in large swimming hall mazes, sometimes there would be toilets in there too, as if we were swimming in the sewage water, but it looks blue and fresh, maybe to say that I have no idea that it's actually dirty and see it as clean. I do recall one time (I think this was the last time I had such a dream) where I said "fuck it" to myself and starting peeing into the water of the swimming hall (standing above the pool). A woman came in and looked at me but I felt nothing and didn't care. I think this may have been how I was meant to pass the test.

>>259 >she said these places are hell Ultimately Hell is about cleansing but Purgatory is the place that is known for cleansing while Hell is the one known for eternal damnation/no escape kind of thing. I remember some supersized bathrooms with broken bidets but there were just so many it didn't matter that some are broken. I thought >This place is so big and so empty some broken appliances does not reduce it's capacity so probably that is the reason why they don't hurry to fix it >looking for a pool that was supposed to be there I was in a mall in a medical facility first then as I was bathed in some yellow light like fluid pool I went into the higher parts with many people on it. I was looking for a dentist but managed to solve that problem on my own in the end. >large swimming hall mazes This brings back some faint memory but for me it was clean >starting peeing Peeing is weird. The muscles we use for peeing is also used for energy work and learning to pee in dreams without pissing yourself in the bed is something that opens an energy pathway somehow. Had many dreams where I peed then woke up thinking OH SHIT then it was nothing. I had these pee dreams like 3 or 5 times? The lower energy channels can be weird because the first "restraint" we learn is to not pee ourselves but not being able to pee because anxiety and pissing yourself because of fear is both a thing. And they both relate to the root chakra. DAMM SOLVED AN ANOTHER MYSTERY AGAIN The bathroom resonate with the energy pathways between the root and the sacral chakra. Also now mind just registered a bunch of new mysteries relating to this. Carnal desires can be weird and cannot be oversimplified via chakras. Ayyyyy

>>258 >Btw did you figure out your own dreamcheck method? About dreamchecks, when dream-keeping I was very excited about the possibility of astral projection and lucid dreams, and did them like crazy. Mostly staring at my hands/fingers and questioning reality. The weird thing is that the only dream where I ended up doing the check was a bizarre dream when heavy armour sadamitsus(from pic related) where being dropped from military helicopters in the waterfront of my neighborhood. And there were earthquake alerts and stuff. I though that's weird and did the check but strangely my hands looked normal in the dream, and I saw a oriental-style restaurant that actually exists near that spot in the neighborhood, so I thought "This is East Asia, there are many seismic events there, nothing out of the ordinary here. The choppers are disaster relief." So in the end I think that I needed to develop another check? That one didn't work for me, or I was just doing them out of reflex and not actually "questioning reality" so they were just a motor reaction. I don't know. I did got to astral project much later, but that was a stroke of luck and using the "wake back to bed" technique. Nowadays I am waking up very late - around noon - so waking back to bed is not viable. Also, on the topic of fear: When I did astral project, I got afraid of going too far and fucking myself up or that someone would wake me up and the "soul recoil" I heard about would happen, so I never left my room. Looking back that's so lame. Since those dreamchecks failed, can I just come up with dreamchecks of my own? >>259 >swimming halls One of the most recurring dreams of my childhood was a contest among kids in a resort swimming pool. Every time I got close to finishing the contest the dream would abruptly end, some years ago I got veeery far and after that it never happened again. >>257 Yeah, fear is a big player in my psyche. Fear and phobias. You could even say that I'm moved by it. Actually, the entire reason I got into magick in the first place was due to fear. I started doing rituals myself to avoid my phobias from happening, it slowly evolved through the years, and then I met /fringe/. About the dirt in the bathroom mazes, it is not like a filthy gas station with unflushed shit - although, sometimes there is a veritable piss pool in the huge urinals -, but that the whole maze feels "greasy". The walls reflect too much light, as if coated in something. There's mold in the walls. And the pov will keep focusing on peoples moving faces, like a bad director's attempt at introducing a sketchy scene.

The discussion on here must have triggered something. I just had a dream of being in North Korea, where I met Kim Jong Un, there was also another visitor. We were both given the asian cone shaped hats to wear. The dream proceeded with us walking in a park or temple setting with beautiful lanscapes around it, we were meant to show Kim something. There was one main road in the middle and some flowers planted in square shaped concrete boxes. It felt a lot like the dream where I finished it correctly, but this time it was like entering the last level of the game again after already beating it. We went into an old school building by the far end of the park. It looked like something built in the 1950s with zinks in every classroom like they'd prepare back then so that it could be turned into a hospital/refugee center if needed during the cold war. It was mostly abandoned but the lights were on, one room had a kitchen with an oven where a fire was burning. The idea to look for a toilet appeared, but it was just "to check things out". The other visitor said "we don't have to do that, just wait 'til we are out". I looked but only saw locked doors with regular locks and some cleaning cabinet. When we went past the kitchen again, there was a lot of smoke coming from the fire.

>>268 >Since those dreamchecks failed, can I just come up with dreamchecks of my own? That is the best way. Truth is staring at hands and fingers is not enough because dreams can properly remake them they don't always morph. You can make talismans or totems like it was in the Inception movie or the way I do it I look at my palmsitry lines on my hands. They are very specific and they remind me I have hands. Once I know I have hands I can manipulate reality and not just sleepwalk. The dreamchecks need to be specific and whenever you look at it you must not do as a motor reflex as you said it but observe the details and make sure you are not dreaming. Dreams can replicate anything. Once I thought the feeling of pain cannot be replicated in dreams. I was wrong. I hit my head in a waterslide in a dream once and it hurt and went forward while once I was outside and was thinking is this a dream? then as I noticed a grill with burning charcoal I put my hands into it and it burnt my hand. The only thing that differs is the "degree" of pain it inflicts. It is minor so if you "pinch your cheeks" as a dreamcheck make sure you observe the pain and analyze it in every situation to make sure it is real. I had dreams where I was chatting on the web with my friend many times in the past and made me mad that "this is an extremely pointless waste of dreamtime" so I changed the nickname and wrote it on other places something akin to "lookatyourpalms" so if my mind wants to properly replicate that as a dream it has no choice but to remind me also to dreamcheck. >fear is a big player in my psyche. Fear and phobias I know people that operated via fear but for me it is the opposite. I cannot operate because of fear if I even notice my own fear I face it/understand it because it is a limiting force that bothers me. Nowadays I understand the value of fear and how it keeps us away from recklessness but that fear needs to be turned into caution and not paranoia and phobias. >phobias Also phobias can be a mixed bag. Some of them relate to traumas which can be cured if we face them while some of them relate to our soul origin. Some of them are just silly energetic attachments that you can 'grow out' once your environment gets harsher but they can get specific. If you feel comfortable with sharing them you can write them down but they need work. I had a minor fear of heights and corpses but they are not an issue for me for a very long while. It bothered that they have power over me so I got rid of them in my teens with a sort of mental psychonaut daydreaming introspection way. But it depends on the type of phobia and how it materializes for you. It merely triggers a flight reflex from you get paralyzed or it just creates an icky feeling. The way it can be solved depends what and how it triggers you. And ofc how much you want to get rid of them. Some people love their weaknesses and quirks. They think that makes them the person who they are. It created a dumb special snowflake mentality in the last decade. Even allergies can be cured via hypnosis phobias are even more easy to cure... if we want them to be cured ofc. Some people can't accept how easy they can be cured. The way our psyche works can be baffling sometimes and we are mostly not even aware of it. >>268 >The discussion on here must have triggered something Fringe is getting energetically rebooted in the past months. Can't write much about it yet because it turned into a bigger undertaking than it initially looked when it started

>>257 That makes me wonder; is there a kind of material that clothes can be made of that wouldn't disrupt energy flows, or at least would disrupt them relatively little?

>>288 Witches usually use silk or velvet robes but I am pretty sure looking at what exactly Buddhists wear would be a good starting point. They meditate quite a lot so I am pretty sure they know their stuff. Never really looked into it because in the end clothing shouldn't matter once my energy work is proper but in the start up process it counts. It's like how you can easily trample a little sapling but trampling a properly grown tree is not that easy. Also if you find clothes that you use for the sole purpose of meditation should also enhance the energies after a while. This is the point of the "wizard robe"

>>288 Actually, clothing can’t disrupt energy. It always comes back to our bodies being limiters of our transcendent expression (both for control and directed growth). Clothing disrupts your attention via bodily sensation. In extreme cases, a disruption of bodily function, like blood circulation, might prove too much for you to counteract. But most of the time a properly trained energy body (attention) is all you need to turn “disruptive clothing” into perfectly good clothing. Ie, with enough practice you can astral project while standing, although most people might have trouble with it just by going to bed with a full belly or under too heavy covers. There’s an account in one of Alexandra David-Neel’s books about a monk going out of body in the middle of a conversation by just closing his eyes, and doing so with such depth that he looked like he was dead. While standing. To answer your question, light clothing that you can forget about easily. When in doubt, something that lets you do Robert Bruce’s tactile techniques comfortably.

>>299 Yeah I too forgot to mention that the most important thing is for the clothing to be a little loose and not suffocating/restraining and most importantly not make one of your bodypart too hot while letting the other too cold. Full body energy works heat up the entire body and the body will need to find a way to balance that. With uncomfortable clothing you get either distracted or if the energies really start flowing you just say fuck it and throw all of them off. But once the energies settle in and managing the flows becomes natural it shouldn't be an issue anymore. >monk going out of body in the middle of a conversation by just closing his eyes, and doing so with such depth that he looked like he was dead Hahahahaha. Too real.

FYI, >301 is spam, the tor link doesn't resolve to any /fringe/-related page.

Sometimes I have the weirdest experiences in dreams. These are special. They feel more like astral travel, but I'm not fully lucid. They are evil, truly depraved and dark shit. Last night I encountered a guy passing some sort of security checkpoint. He was being told by another one a technique to become invisible. It was called "soul close" and he kept gesturing as if he was closing a zipper. It was quite humorous. I laughed as I watched him go and sit with someone else in front of a heater. Another figure was talking next to them, explaining the rest of us, who were watching, something about how he had the power to do whatever he wanted and how the ones sitting were powerless to resist or something like that. The heater slowly increased its output and we could see how the figures who were sitting, their back to us, got their face melted by the heat. We weren't laughing anymore. But the person talking seemed as amused and happy as ever. Words cannot convey how macabre and disturbing this whole thing was. I have seen other stuff, such as one being once trying to stick a power drill up my ass or another operating on a woman's genitalia in vivo. Hellish shit. I don't know where this stuff comes from.

>>305 Me again. It's interesting. Today a building caught on fire in my city. It might have been premonitory. Sometimes I feel like another life of mine is in actual hell.

>>307 The third eye can open different ways and to different worlds. You might have the so called "infernal eye" which gives you visions and premonitions in a more hellish manner. >I feel like another life of mine is in actual hell. I would say you have a good attunement to it but yes we can have infernal bodies too that are somewhat in the hell dimensional layer already. Once you become aware how you are interacting with this dimension it can become a boon and not just a curse but no matter what you will be playing with fire. Extreme caution is needed when we dare connecting worlds for personal gain or other whimsical reasons. I too meet these places in dreams sometimes but for me they usually have a lesson value. We interact with these places differently and it is not always clear why and how and what exactly is the deeper underlying meaning.

I've been slacking off lately. >>269 Interesting North Korea dreams were very frequent during 2015-2021 for me. The mostly revolved around the Supreme Leader trying to recruit me as a bodyguard or about me applying for crazy competitions whose winners would be selected as KJU's bodyguards. One of these competitions featured anime characters playing dodgeball with us. Fun dreams. >>270 I understand that it is a limiting force, and it bothers me as well, but I can't help it. I think fear is supposed to be a limiter, a dectetor, keep us in check (see pic rels). But the fear responses can get messed up too. The ultimate objective is to integrate your fears into yourself without going mad. This is very difficult as you have to analyse your fears and see which are completely useless and irrational and how the others can be of help. >If you feel comfortable with sharing them you can write them down I have about 7 or so phobias as of now. I will write about them later, when I'm feeling better energetically. The weird thing is the actual original phobia who generated all this shit is the only one I actually beat. Most of these others I didn't have but developed with time. I think getting rid of this shit is the next step in my development. It's keeping me down. >>305 This seems very similar to what I've come to term "bovine dreams". The uncanny hellish feeling of macabreness, the hiding joy some of the dreams-people get, and the feeling of it being more real than a dream.

>>309 >bovine dreams It's interesting that you call them that because once I had one of these in which a cow transformed into a human being and I watched as naked humans were butchered in front of their families while they screamed in horror. This dream happened because I eat meat that didn't sit well with my stomach the night before.

>>305 >>307 Two people had been trapped for more than an hour in the fire and ended up being rescued. These are the two in my dream. I know it. When I saw it I actually cried. Such a bizarre thing.

>>309 >I've been slacking off lately. Same. I too want to write a bunch of effortposts to revitalize fringe but the inspiration is still not at the right place. Trying to figure out how to word things so they don't sound like ramblings of a madman takes time. >I think fear is supposed to be a limiter, a dectetor, keep us in check (see pic rels) I had quite the amount of warrior past lives so fear is not something I dare to tolerate within myself. Luckily videogames managed to awaken the fighting spirit mentality within me already so if things get wild in my mind I just go full DOOMguy. And yes fear can really work as a detector. For me it is different tho because when I am fighting I have to "feel" the killing intent in my "enemies" because at that part my full focus awakens because at that level it is not mere playing around anymore. But it's always different because I don't have a fighting style. My mind just reflexively figures out the usually unconventional tactics against my adversaries. But yes I too had absolute fear and dread coming from dimensions which were supposed to be visited after death. It was just a warning sign so once I passed that barrier it was quite calm. >This is very difficult as you have to analyse your fears and see which are completely useless and irrational and how the others can be of help. True. But you will have to understand the feeling of "daring". The real courage and not the reckless kind. Confidence then courage is important because with that you know you are unable to die because you are always faster than your enemies and always on that thin edge that grants you victory. Can't describe better when my fighting spirit awakens things get wild but I must watch out to not get drunk on that feeling or I lose. I am so glad anime and wuxia is a thing in this time period because this feeling is never really that well documented and portrayed. Not to mention only very few people really gets it. >The weird thing is the actual original phobia who generated all this shit is the only one I actually beat. Most of these others I didn't have but developed with time. That is an interesting development. Going back to the way the phobias developed and reexperiencing it and somewhat trying to tell your childhood self that everything is alright and getting through with them might help (It's about talking to your child persona as an adult or vice versa. You become your own psychologist/mentor to your self that represents the best the trauma and talk it out and look for a solution together). It depends from person to person how we have to deal with it and obviously it depends on the type of the phobia. Some of them run truly deep while some of them just merely wrong wirings in the brain. >feeling of it being more real than a dream. Sometimes they are >integrate your fears into yourself without going mad Yeah the problem is that I am post madness already. There is a thing tho. The human body has the ability to counterbalance madness if we let it. This is why meds can be problematic because some of them block the brain's ability to naturally develop measures against madness but Psychiatry and Psychology is an extremely ill-prepared science today because they still don't acknowledge the victims of Psychosis as anything "real" so they just blind them and numb them instead of trying to help their core issues. Once your problems become post mundane they usually hurt more than help. Wish I could give a more useful advice but how to defeat fear and madness but without knowing much about the nature of the issues makes it tricky and my psychic abilities are a little tired today so I will not even try a reading >>311 This proves it. Your infernal eye is open and you are on the path of the seer now. Wonder what will be the next step in your development.

>>312 >you are on the path of the seer now Sounds chuunibyou as fuck. But ok. Several years ago I dreamt of a woman burning alive on a balcony. I felt it. Not the pain, but the emotional anguish of the woman. A few days later I saw a newspaper article about a woman who caught on fire at home and jumped out the window of her balcony in flames to her death. My “seership” is dumb and cruel.

>>314 >Sounds chuunibyou as fuck. But ok. Do you want me to tell you that you are delusional and this was a mere coincidence that your delusional mind is just making you connect things randomly or some other retarded mundane excuse via pointing out some theory about statistics and personal preferences by trying to deny the truth of these things? >My “seership” YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING SEER YET YOU FUCK BECAUSE YOU ARE UNABLE TO HANDLE IT. I SAID YOU ARE ON THE PATH AND NOT THAT YOU ARE A SEER. Just because I found a waiver about looking for assistants for a brain surgery documentary filming that does not make me a brain surgeon. It just means I can get inspired and do the work to become one because I know where I can start from. >is dumb and cruel. No that is you because you are not trying to even find out how your powers work nor you try willingly understand it. I could call you a retarded schizo too that does not know how to even consciously tap into the stream without someone needing to violently die around you. Do you know why do you have these violent and cruel visions? Because that is the only thing you react to. Your mind unable to even consider remembering the more gentle lessons so the only thing that sticks is when it is this level of brutal and disgusting. You see other things too just unable to recall them. And no >chuunibyou as fuck would have been if I told you you are the descendant of the warped dragon from the Aegis mountain ranging from the past ages or Oceanus you faggot. I just said you have the ability that can predict disasters and if you tune it well you will be able to make a difference and prevent other disasters. Hope you are happy with this more chanlike reply instead of the >chuunibyou one on this board for fucking wizards and mystics.

>>310 I started calling them that after a dream where a "meat-seller" sold some sinister looking meat as "eggs", then the day after I had a dream involving a slaughterhouse. The feeling of these dreams is very similar to the slaughtering of cattle, in that it is brutal, raw but at the same time there is a component of banality to it, as the other "cattle" can't understand what is happening. Afterwards, more brutal dreams followed (not involving literal cows) and the named remained. >>312 >dimensions which were supposed to be visited after death Can you elaborate? >It's about talking to your child persona as an adult or vice versa I'll try this. >Psychiatry and Psychology is an extremely ill-prepared science I feel this. Right now I'm still living with my parents, and my mother is very insistent on getting me on psychiatric meds. I have managed avoid it so far, and don't plan on taking them any time soon. >the nature of the issues It's very complicated. I don't know how I can explain it without writing the Great Wall of China. I think I should work on writing them and then post on the question thread for opinions and solutions.

>>316 >Can you elaborate? I had several and they mostly related to understanding the fear of death. Passing through the dimensions means some part of you dies and reborns. Those parts are usually quite mundane and related to mundane perspectives and such. My first was when I cleaned up my bodily and mental issues and they appeared old metallic rusty factories. Started breaking them left and right because I felt the chains coming from those buildings are embedded into my body. After I destroyed quite the amount I noticed a purple barrier. That barrier gave me an extreme amount of existential dread. But in that pure white fog that I was in I didn't see anything else and I said "fuck it" and went there. Once passing the threshold I found myself in a first purple wilderness then it turned into a quite serene darkness. Realized I will have to visit that place later. As I visited that place before sleep a girl appeared who was like a shrine maiden and showed me several things that resulted in my awakening but that is quite long story. And had a dream where I was a ship's captain and as we sailed the sea we reached the edge of the world literally. It was like the old depiction of flat earth how once you reach the end the water falls down and you enter the abyss. I got scared grabbed the steering wheel and in the last moment while falling down I noticed a cave and me and my crew survived there. It had a stage and everyone started doing a play where they summarized their life and their impression of it while everyone listened in peace. While listening I was thinking what should be my story that I could tell at the "end of the world" to describe my life I somewhat woke up because I didn't know what to say. Then later that night I realized that was the gateway to abyss and the last fear of death and willingly passed it. There were others too but they are more personal and need a longer write up to explain them. Also I never had slaughter house dreams because I live a life where we produce our own meat and was taught since childhood to find it normal so for me it wouldn't even register >It's very complicated. I don't know how I can explain it without writing the Great Wall of China. We have 8001 character limit so feel free t make it. >I think I should work on writing them and then post on the question thread for opinions and solutions. Sure why not. I think the best is sitting down and deciding to write it down no matter what and not thinking how bad it sounds and proofreading it at the end only to make sure it makes sense but not pondering on it too much because we usually overthink it. It usually results in understanding our own traumas better in the writing and proofreading process.

Man, last night I astral projected three times, but I ended up joining a group of degenerates and going kamaloka all night long with them. I need to get my shit together because I don’t want to end up there when I die.

On Valentine's Day, I was feeling very miserable, even nihilistic. Later that night, my spirit wife gave a dream. Most of it was wandering through what I believe to be an astral realm, but the beginning and ending were key. A teacher in a green shirt lectured me on nihilism and how it was killing my soul. I couldn't refute it. After wandering through the realm, I had a sudden psychedelic vision. Green miasmas permeated my sight. An eye developed into a face, then a body. All the while, I heard a hauntingly beautiful electronic song with lyrics that I can't remember, but I knew it was a spell to cast out the nihilism. It worked, since I haven't felt that bad again.

>>317 >related to understanding the fear of death It seems fear of death can be a more complicated nuisance than I thought. I had a weird dream where a woman I know announced the death of someone I know with a glass vase with a small white flower of a clover in it. As she mentioned the way of the death I realized that something is absolutely not adding up and I woke up. It turns out fearing the death of others is also bad on it's own way. While people can be mostly responsible for their own lives it is possible to help others overcome their trials and with a wise council help them keep out of trouble. While karma is karma in the end it can be transformed in a way that is not necessary for it to be lethal. As mages we have power over the flow of destiny that we play with it constantly as our whims and our wisdom allows it. The problem with this fearing the death of others or simply worrying for them is that it gives a shaky disposition to the energies we use to connect with them. It just shows we don't trust them nor their abilities to overcome their trials nor we trust our own abilities that our spells will keep them out of harm's way. It seems the problem here is the same as why surgeons are not allowed to do surgery on their family members. That worry that unsure hesitation will just make your hands shake a little and your focus will dwindle and once your mind envisions failure for a moment instead of letting focus on the things that needs to be done you are in trouble. For now this fear-type appears as some graylike dust in my energy field which does not do harm the same way like other fears but still clouds my vision and disturbs the natural flow of energies. Just looked up the symbolic meaning of the clover (flower) because it took me some time to realize that flower belonged to the clover. > "to be (or to live) in clover", meaning to live a carefree life of ease, comfort, or prosperity It seems this is something I have to realize. What it means to be carefree. How to let go and understand the proper flow of energies instead of tensing over every issue. It's intersting how these mundane issues interact with our spiritual progress. >>332 >lectured me on nihilism and how it was killing my soul Your nihilism is quite interesting. It was a sort of misery type energy which was like >Nothing matters EXCEPT feeding this energy rot within No wonder she said it's killing your soul. Wonder how you got it. Just merely glanced at it because once we pass through astral realms to solve issues the energy signatures can be read sometimes and was wondering if I can gain some insights for combating my own purposelessness. It's not that I have no purpose no goals it's just the current stage of modern mundanity is not some awe inspiring wonder to behold but I am still unable to leave it behind and I have to figure out how I can channel my own energies in a way I am able to continue my spiritual path while grounding myself in the overall mundanity I experience while interacting with others. It's ridiculous how people forgot the importance of the other side and most they do is sometimes believing in God or in the afterlife and nothing else beyond it. Understanding astrology or thinking that the myths and legends of old have any meaning besides some entertaining bedtime story is inconceivable for most of them. I learned to only say as much as they need to hear but it still bothers me a little. But then again for them it's weird I have no interest towards cars booze expensive vacations and other mainstream degeneracy so each to their own I guess. I would die from trying to live their lives. The reason why I ranted because I thought you might have the materialistic nihilism or something similar but it was not that. Just wrote down how I see similar issues with my own eyes but yours was different. What I can see is a sort of energetic rot but I am unsure what feelings made it appear. Sorry for being nosy btw but I too had an experience where an etheric song flushed out the miasma of my heart and was wondering if it was similar. They cannot be easily compared it seems.

>>335 Since my last post was made, this nihilism has made a comeback. >What I can see is a sort of energetic rot but I am unsure what feelings made it appear. >It was a sort of misery type energy That's precisely what it is. More specifically, it's a combination of depression, despair, rage, frustration, and hatred of myself and others, essentially creating a personal hell for myself. >Wonder how you got it I believe it was present to some degree the past couple of years, and I was able to go on with life by simply ignoring it, but in the past few months it's become much worse. I have two theories on why this is: >1. I've created a negative thoughtform over time and now it has taken a life of its own. Spirit wife is fighting against this larva's influence. >2. There is no thoughtform per se. My spirit wife dredged these feelings up to force me to confront and overcome them so I can move on with my life. >The reason why I ranted because I thought you might have the materialistic nihilism or something similar but it was not that Yeah, it's definitely not a material nihilism. There's not much I desire other than a comfy farm in the middle of nowhere. >Sorry for being nosy btw but I too had an experience where an etheric song flushed out the miasma of my heart and was wondering if it was similar Don't worry about it, anon. In fact, I would argue your nosiness has been very helpful, if not life-saving. Did you get a peek at my wife, by any chance? I'm curious as to what she looks like to others

>>336 >it's a combination of depression, despair, rage, frustration, and hatred of myself and others Iktf but for me it was different because I let my negative feelings combat each other. Need to work? Channel rage. Need to rest and forget all the stress? Let depression take over and sleep. Someone started a retarded argument with me disturbing my pace for no real reason? Let him get all my tempered hatred. And let's not mention what happened when other beings attacked me on the astral. But that was my past and I had to let go of it and I am still letting it go. Higher energies must not merge with these lower emotions because auto casting a spell because someone expressed an opinion that I dislike and activating all negative karma in their vicinity at once because I am unable to keep my semi-subconscious temper in check is not okay. Fearing my own powers and not being able to control them because of it was an another lesson I had to understand. But enough about me. >essentially creating a personal hell for myself. What I am saying is not to argue about semantics but this will be important conceptually. You are not "creating" that hell you are more akin to "maintaining" it. What you need to understand how you can "disassemble" or take it apart. The energetic formation you have is like a slow acidic rot that managed to turn into a self reinforcing "organism" of sorts and you will have to slowly "enter it" and see or feel what energies what thoughts are reinforcing it. You will have to slowly take it apart because while in a way you are "creating it" but it also makes you repeat thought patterns that reinforce it's existence. The thing is it's quite weak but because you adapted a lifestyle where you constantly reaffirm it without noticing it has a hard time vanishing until either you start changing or your environment changes and forces a change within yourself. >I believe it was present to some degree the past couple of years, and I was able to go on with life by simply ignoring it Yeah the last years were quite terrible taxing and vexing energetically and emotionally for most people so it's no wonder you have something like this which means it is quite possible that the energy rot you have within is not just yours but a sort of shared energetic amalgamation that your environment and lifestyle with the people around you created which might sound you have no power over it but in truth it's the opposite because once you figure out how you need to change or at least return into your own truth will change not just the way you feel and live but your environment too to some degree. >but in the past few months it's become much worse There are quite the lot of energetic changes and pressures in the air because this retardation we had in the past 4 years is not sustainable and once it reaches a boiling point a change will happen no matter what. Those with spiritual sensitivity or with a sort of "True will" can notice this and get ahead of the crowd instead of suffering a sort of energetic "collective punishment" or mass karma because they can work on their own instead of waiting for others to fix them. It's complicated but the change is coming but those who do nothing but wait will have the rudest and nastiest awakening so it's better to start fixing things as much as we can. >1. I've created a negative thoughtform over time and now it has taken a life of its own. Spirit wife is fighting against this larva's influence. >2. There is no thoughtform per se. My spirit wife dredged these feelings up to force me to confront and overcome them so I can move on with my life. Both theories are somewhat correct. I wouldn't exactly call it a thoughtform but it's quite close because it managed to turn into a sort of self affirming rot like a disease can. It is a sort of energetic emotional and mental/thought mismanagement. How to say it easily. It is like a thought loop in your head that is so repetitive so always present that you could ignore it because the madness of the world around you made you forget your own problems. And you might had perished like most NPCs nowadays but spirit waifu nudged you that it's time to let go of it because otherwise you will die with it. I don't know where I would draw a line for a thoughtform but it is like a sort of energetic sac that contains important life energies that belong to you while a bunch of energetic rot with it so it is able to reaffirm itself but it's true that you (sub)consciously sorta reaffirming it and I know you are somewhat realizing this too so I cannot say you do this unconsciously but you have no idea what activity or life direction would let you "change" and flush these energies out. Now this would be quite the pickle if you were a lowly mundane but you are a fringe wizard so you can shake this off with somewhat magical means. The reason why I say "somewhat" because it will be mostly psychological introspection which is quite mundane but the magical part will be when you summon your spirit wife into your meditation and with her help relive and slowly take out/let go of these feelings and awaken your natural energy flow/inner potential with the process. I need to ask at this part. How much you can work with your spirit wife. Do you interact with her in dreams or you can talk to her during daytime and are you able to summon her into your meditation routine and give her "power" so she can "touch" or fix your meridians? I am asking because I did quite a lot of work with these ways and it's important to find your own powers and establish the power of your spirit wife so you can work and help each other. >My spirit wife dredged these feelings up to force me to confront and overcome I wouldn't say she is "dredging" them more like "reminding you" that they are "there" ... Had a feeling I am missing a meaning of the dredge here besides the "move and cleaning" part just looked it up >bring to people's attention an unpleasant or embarrassing fact or incident that had been forgotten So yes she is "dredging" you but in the end it will be your own energies that will "flush" this out because once they start operating the way they should this rot like energetic compound will vanish. >Since my last post was made, this nihilism has made a comeback. It is like swimming. While you move yourself and push yourself above the water you can breath air for a moment then you submerge again. Understanding when you need to breath and how to "keep in" some of that air so you float by default takes time and practice. What I am trying to say is that while that energetic rot was swept away for a moment like how listening to a good song makes you forget all the worries of your life once the song is over you are back to that life and you start feeling the worries again. Except ofc the song is SO GREAT you push away all those energies forever and change your life with it. You will need to work with your spirit wife or summon that green shirted teacher (that green is the area of the heart chakra and I am sure he is teaching a lesson how to keep your "soul area" clean) and understand how your true energies move and how this energetic rot confounds it.

>>336 >not much I desire other than a comfy farm in the middle of nowhere. I too live on a farm and it is not exactly carefree because I work most of the day and globohomo is trying real hard ruining the farmers in the last 2 decades so I wouldn't say it's easy. There is a reason why most farmers are protesting nowadays. While I can avoid most of the urbanite retardation that doesn't mean I am able to live a life of idyllic self preservation. Only nowadays people managed to realize the importance of nature while in the past they called you a peasant or some other type of uneducated hillbilly because you didn't give up your life for their idle degeneracy. They only think about the hardships of farmers once food vanishes from the shelves. There is a reason why globohomo is buying up farms worldwide in the last decade while before it they only cared about real estate corporate investing and other stock market related money laundering. The shit I have to deal with is ridiculous. People either think you are a backwards mud muncher or a fucking aristocrat that has it too good so shouldn't complain. The market is absolutely borked in the last years and it's ridiculous What I wanted to say with this rant is that you have to understand how you can find the things you need in your current environment. I didn't really look into your life so I am not sure what you are going through and I am not saying to give up the farm life dream but know that no matter where you are and what you are doing the struggles will be always there and you will have to find the way how you can overcome it. The energies are all around us positive and negative alike we just need to find how we can utilize them. But I must agree it can get complicated depending on the people you have around. This is why I usually still post on the internet because I need a wider range of perspectives about the hurdles of modern mundanity because everything and everyone can be fixed but only after you understand the source of the issues. And things can get nuanced and while they might look the same sometimes they have too great of a difference that it cannot be solved in the same way at all. >I would argue your nosiness has been very helpful I am glad. My tactfulness is something I am still developing and I am not always sure of it. >Did you get a peek at my wife, by any chance? I'm curious as to what she looks like to others Didn't look at her in the last post because looking at the spirit wife of others is kinda rude and I only glanced at your energies and didn't do a deep reading. My psychic sight is going through changes and I am not forcing it if it's not important or I am unsure if I should look at all. Sometimes looking into things that you didn't mean to look opens a pandora's box amount of issues and sometimes it takes days to figure out what is going on at all and if you manage to make the wrong kind of entities interested it can get ugly. I looked at her now and the energy is like a gentle white with slight motherly yellow tint (it usually signals it is sort of divine but this is a little different from the divine beings i work with) The energy is more caring and not exactly the same JUDGEMENT/MIGHT OF GOD type of energies I work with. I am a little bad with these gentle energies and learning to handle them. She told me she is unable to appear in the same form as she appears for you. The image I am getting if I force the energies to become "visual" is similar to Ranni >pic related but it feels wrong because it has different energies but it seems I am too forceful with the energies and I should let it manifest on it's own so she can appear. Just found a bunch of insights how "sight" works and how I need to reconnect the meridians so an absolutely high definition high information fidelity visions can appear in a way it is consistent and not cause pain and energetic tension and I am taking it easy with the psychic readings nowadays. How did she appear for you if it's not too personal. The reason why I am asking because these energies are a little different than the ones I am working with and I am not sure what advice I should give you to increase your compatibility or advice is not even needed because you will figure it out anyways. The problem with spirit wives is sometimes they are either too laid back and wait for the right moment/for you to take the initiate or they are pushy as hell and turn your life into a mad haze of energies. Depends on each person which way is the better for them... and what kind of spirit they entangled themselves with... and how far the spirit is willing to go. Sometimes they give up fast sometimes they stay around through several incarnations.

>>338 >Sometimes looking into things that you didn't mean to look opens a pandora's box amount of issues and sometimes it takes days to figure out what is going on ... Might have just did it via looking into your wife. The energies are still around and randomly interact with my energy channels since my post. Was wondering if you are posting an answer or at least intently reading my posts because it is poking me at random intervals while I am watching PILI Totem She told me she counts as an "elemental spirit" if she goes by my understanding but she is still trying to establish a better connection. Wonder where this will lead. While touching parts around my "chest dimension" I noticed her handling some sort of wooden box with a clock on it? And as I see her doing that a short glimpse to a larger dimension appeared... Yeah if this keeps up you will have to share how did you meet your spirit wife and write a summary of your level of interaction with her before she explains it to me in detail from her own POV which will be a little muddled depending on my psychic capabilities and how much I care. I am at the usual limbo when entities do things like this where I am somewhat bothered and somewhat curious at once. Also there is always a chance that it's not exactly your spirit wife but some another entity that latched onto me so you might never know. But I am still patient before >it can get ugly. Seems like my war ready hand manifested a large Onyx Axe. I have never seen that weapon before nor I had a need to use weapons for quite the long while. Currently she does nothing intrusive just touching my energetically problematic areas but it was long when I was energetically "feeled up" this much. My current read is that she is a little too soft so the most she can do is like suffocating you like you do it with a pillow and because of that she has no way doing energetic surgeries but that doesn't mean she has no power it just means it needs to be applied differently. These interactions can get longposty for sure. Not sure if I should report more yet because while it is an >Anomalous Experiences I am not sure if it's related to you at all. Sometimes you just look into someone and a completely different spirit comes through or a different aspect of that spirit. It's like how people act differently in the company of others.

>>337 >>338 >>339 >How much you can work with your spirit wife I'm still working on a lot of magical practices, which is complicated by my busy schedule and my fears. I can sense her, though, and I've been attempting astral projection in my free time. Right now, with my eyes open, I can see her outline as a black cloud of static. I can see her face - eyes, nose and mouth. With my eyes closed, I can see her face with auras that are a vibrant red, sometimes pink, and sometimes violet. At night I can see her outline change to jade green. I can see her tongue as a vibrant color, the exact color je ne sais quoi, but it's a rainbow of ultraviolet-white-blue. >Do you interact with her in dreams Almost every night I see her in one form or another. Last night I saw her as an onryo, which would have been scary if she weren't cuddling with me. >Do you can talk to her during daytime and are you able to summon her into your meditation routine and give her "power" so she can "touch" or fix your meridians? I can talk to her, I think, but it's hard to tell what thoughts are hers and what are what I think she's saying. She can talk to me clairaudiently, usually repeating certain words in the thought stream as emphasis, or saying a couple of words as phrases. She's been able to fix my chakras, like my throat chakra. She does that with a smoky appendage going down my throat and then working on it. >know that no matter where you are and what you are doing the struggles will be always there and you will have to find the way how you can overcome it That's true, and you're not the first one to tell me that. She's asked me before if I would really be happier on this dream farm. After a conversation or two, I came to the conclusion that it would be better for me, but not as idyllic or perfect as I would like to believe. It would be very hard work. >I looked at her now and the energy is like a gentle white with slight motherly yellow tint (it usually signals it is sort of divine but this is a little different from the divine beings i work with) The energy is more caring and not exactly the same JUDGEMENT/MIGHT OF GOD type of energies I work with >She told me she is unable to appear in the same form as she appears for you. The image I am getting if I force the energies to become "visual" is similar to Ranni She is indeed very caring, but I am not sure if she is divine. I asked my patron goddess for her, and she claims to be a "daughter" in an adoptive sense - of that goddess. I've only seen her as yellow once, in one of the first dreams I had where I saw a bright yellow light flash before my eyes and then I felt her presence. Otherwise it's green and red for me. I haven't seen her as Ranni. >How did she appear for you if it's not too personal She appears as a redheaded fairy, like pics rel, with two other aspects - a black-haired tomboy and a blonde-haired motherly figure. All three can appear in the same dream and interact with me. >Might have just did it via looking into your wife. The energies are still around and randomly interact with my energy channels since my post. >Yeah if this keeps up you will have to share how did you meet your spirit wife and write a summary of your level of interaction with her before she explains it to me in detail from her own POV which will be a little muddled depending on my psychic capabilities and how much I care. To be quite honest, I'm not sure when it began, because there are many dreams that I believe to be from her, some as far back as my childhood. This phenomena only really become prominent last year, after I burnt a series of letters with sigils to her. I guess it worked. >Also there is always a chance that it's not exactly your spirit wife but some another entity that latched onto me so you might never know. I believe that to be more likely, as my understanding is that these spirits are very jealous and monogamous. I get the impression "sister" from my wife. Perhaps that may be the case, or perhaps it's a lie. Be careful, and I apologize if I've given you something you don't want.

>>340 >pic Yes. That was it. The hair. That long naturally wavy hair. The problem while establishing a connection with a completely foreign entity that it needs to go through your mind and if there is a similar concept or image occupying the channel it's trying to come through it will appear as the association in your memory first then after it's flushed out a more "real" image appears. She even tried to appear as the other Elden Ring maiden with the wavy hair too (was not sure why Elden Ring didn't even play that game) but it seems the vague image I have about the theme of Elden Ring fits her style somehow. >ultraviolet-white-blue Yes she started to appear with that Ranni blue for a glimpse but it changed fast. >can see her outline as a black cloud of static Yeah that is somewhat her energies she can operate with but it's merely the "early manifestation" because once it stabilizes it becomes clearer. >saw her as an onryo The appearance is similar but she doesn't have those types of hostile energies but entities around the Shinto regions can get complicated because that area is too diverse energetically so I cannot say what is and isn't an onryo. Calling it a "japanese ghost" is not accurate. She is more akin to an "elemental" as she said but I do not know which type and she is clearly trying to sync up to the current world and try to make you more proper so you can "hold her". >it's hard to tell what thoughts are hers and what are what I think she's saying That's how it is until a clear link establishes. She is not exactly "talking" but transmitting her thoughts into your brain so your brain translates the meaning and sometimes your brain just "guesses" when the clear link is either shaky or the thought is untranslatable so it makes up to the closest thing. I too have hard time finding the words to some concepts when I am halfheartedly communicating to entities during the daytime. Usually I need to sit down and focus to keep the mental link clean. Not to mention "small talk" is different from "meaningful talk" and they can change the intensity they transmit their intentions. >usually repeating certain words in the thought stream as emphasis, Yes that too can happen when you are too thickheaded or it clearly shows the "Message is not getting through". Not always the fact that you don't understand what she is saying but "not getting the weight of the meaning" of sorts. >She's been able to fix my chakras, like my throat chakra She also did a quick tuning so I can talk to her better and yes her main area is the throat it seems. >She does that with a smoky appendage going down my throat and then working on it. Yes that "smoke" is her energy or power of sorts and she coiled around my chakras with it to tune it yesterday. >but not as idyllic or perfect as I would like to believe. It would be very hard work. Yeah :/ She gave you a good advice. It shows she knows what she is doing and not just "playing into your desires". Some lower entities just tell you what you want to hear and they get annoying fast with their yesman attitude. It's not their fault that they have no real sentience but you cannot use them for complicated matters. They can follow some commands and help in some minor manifestations but until you figure out what is their real capability or purpose they are not much help. >she claims to be a "daughter" in an adoptive sense Sounds right. Who is your patron goddess btw. My head hurts from trying to hear the answer. My mind gave me a quick guesstimate that it's Aphrodite and while the Archetype might match I am not sure it's her. >haven't seen her as Ranni. Yeah while looking at images of Ranni I knew it will give the wrong impression because she is too much about the hat and the spirit in doll witchyness and not exactly her energies. She wanted to give off a caring companion that will guide you through the stars kind of feel maybe that's why the Ranni image was "autoselected" by my brain. >there are many dreams that I believe to be from her, some as far back as my childhood. This phenomena only really become prominent last year, after I burnt a series of letters with sigils to her. You should ask about those dreams and her interpretations about them. I too summon beings from my dreams after I wake up especially if it's a strong dream that I am unable to interpret on my own so they can explain what just happened. Some entities are ofc just randos that get out of my life quite asap because I just "bumped" into them and they didn't want to bother me that much especially when they find out some of my energies are way too hostile towards them. The awakened incarnated can wield many powers that scares away those that are mere "guests" in this world. >these spirits are very jealous and monogamous I am like a neighbor or an associate and not exactly a competing love interest. >get the impression "sister" from my wife. Perhaps that may be the case Maybe. Especially if she was around since your childhood. Burning a sigil for a companion sometimes stems from the subconscious desire to reestablish a contact with those entities/energies that are not "present" in our life anymore. Some of these entities can be real important for us without us consciously realizing it and we somewhat die without them. It can be real complicated and it depends on each individual and how their "soul origin" works or differs from this lifetime. The problem is with the modern world is this mundane generalization how things work and how everyone should behave and how the "spirits" are not real at all and maybe only the dead can see them. Through the history many people and many groups interacted with spirits daily while seeing them with the naked eye and this is inconceivable for the mainstream thought. Which is bad because some of us have an excessive NEED for these energies and interactions like how we need to eat food and drink water. Without these beings we die inside and if our life is bringing us away from our original lifestyle we die a little every day until we find our way again. >Be careful Always >and I apologize if I've given you something you don't want. No need to apologize if I didn't wanted it I wouldn't have gotten into it. I have a desire to peek into these things once my energies are proper because human curiosity is a drive we have hard time living without. Also I have an energetic "rule" entities can only "enter" if they are willing to help on my path. If that rule can be "broken" then I have to observe my energies around me. Sometimes a very punchable entity can help my energies awaken more than the most wisest guidance. She told me I am like a large mountain with the entrances full with hurdles and I am real hard to enter or connect to without causing pain so she let go her influence after I stopped posting. She is not intrusive and a good reminder I still have entity types I have hard time connecting with. As she said she is more of an "elemental" and we have far more elements than the 4 or 5 main ones. If you share which Goddess is your patron I might be able to look into it but only share it if you want to know details and want to aid my practice. If you consider it too personal no need to tell it to me. The problem is that your spirit has a far more organic connection to the goddess which means she has a hard time connecting to my superficial concepts that I have in my head about the mainstream goddesses. Not to mention if I have a past with some of them I might be a little prejudiced.

I cannot believe how long my posts always manage to become but at least other anons will notice that these things cannot be oversimplified with a simple meme and maybe they will gather their confidence to longpost and help fringe revive a little with their contribution. It's not like there are so many posts here no one has the time to read ALL THAT SHIT but still it bothers me a little that I cannot keep myself short and concise. This was cut off from my post because you can go so far with 8001 characters it seems but no matter what I consider it too important to leave off so even as a mantra it's worth as a reminder. >>340 >perhaps it's a lie Everything is a lie. But for a lie to hold you need to mix in some truths. And the more truth the lie has the stronger it becomes. We need to develop the sight that allows us to see the truth in the lies. In this world truth has a hard time manifesting 100% accurately but that does not mean we cannot find perfection in imperfection. Truth is everywhere and in the end it is us who can decide to remove the veil of lies or entertain ourselves with that lie for a little while. Some say truth is ugly. I say it's liberating because ugly truth usually has depth that needs to be further explored. Truth is not always simple but once you find it it's obvious. It's important to not forget it: Truth is everywhere.

>>341 >>342 >She even tried to appear as the other Elden Ring maiden with the wavy hair too (was not sure why Elden Ring didn't even play that game) Is it Malenia? That would be pretty similar to her form if true. >Calling it a "japanese ghost" is not accurate. She is more akin to an "elemental" as she said but I do not know which type and she is clearly trying to sync up to the current world and try to make you more proper so you can "hold her". I don't believe her to be an onryo, as she sometimes changes dream-forms as often as we change clothes. Since you mention how she shows up as Ranni, I read through my dream journal and noticed that I once saw her as the "Great Sea Mother" - a giant blue-hued goddess that was making love to a boy (presumably me). Calling her an elemental is interesting. I noticed earlier in the thread that several wizards were talking about dreams about bathrooms and bathing. I've encountered her in dreams involving water or baths, like when I saw her swimming in a pool, hanging around at a lake, or when I encountered her in a non-Euclidean washroom. It seems like she's very much associated with water. But if there are more than five elements, and she represents one of those, it could be possible she is a "love elemental", or something similar to that. >Yes that too can happen when you are too thickheaded or it clearly shows the "Message is not getting through". Not always the fact that you don't understand what she is saying but "not getting the weight of the meaning" of sorts I'm definitely as stubborn as a mule, and when I'm not, she sometimes has to dumb things down so I can understand exactly what she means, so that explanation makes sense. >She also did a quick tuning so I can talk to her better and yes her main area is the throat it seems. Last night, she did a "tuning" in my heart chakra. It was slightly painful, like a very thin needle penetrating into your body. It's making me feel better, though, so hopefully it stays that way. >It shows she knows what she is doing and not just "playing into your desires". Some lower entities just tell you what you want to hear and they get annoying fast with their yesman attitude. Exactly. She can be brutally honest with me, but it's never to be mean-spirited, but more or less to destroy the evil and wrong thought in my heart and to build up something better. >You should ask about those dreams and her interpretations about them. I always make sure to do so, especially when some of them are so strange and surreal I can't make sense of them. >Who is your patron goddess Aphrodite is close, but not quite. I'm curious, though, would you be able to tell which goddess from her energy alone? >She told me I am like a large mountain with the entrances full with hurdles and I am real hard to enter or connect to without causing pain so she let go her influence after I stopped posting Hah, that sounds like something she would say.

>>343 >Is it Malenia? That would be pretty similar to her form if true. No it's this one but with a more reddish tint hair and a darker background but it was just a glimpse but as I said I didn't play the game. All my knowledge comes from memes and shitposting. It was the hair. This long wavy hair is important staple for her. Also Malenia is rotting so ew. I don't think she would manifest as her. >it could be possible she is a "love elemental", or something similar to that. Yes she somewhat hinted on it but she said the "love" in my own language which has a different tune/inclination and when I "pressed" on that concept she somewhat shied away from this issue because my understanding of love is not "wholesome" (I am a little autistic about it and especially when entities use it on me I raise my guard because I too can manipulate others with a feeling of "love" and thx to my distrust I need time to accept anyone who starts with that feeling. I don't mean that love is a lie because it is one of the most stable energy type for bonding and spiritual work it's just... Let's say I get real angry when someone plays with my heart for the only reason he/she just simply "can" and didn't mean much by it. Entities of true love understand this so it's not a problem) >Last night, she did a "tuning" in my heart chakra. It was slightly painful, like a very thin needle penetrating into your body Oh that is one of my thing. She told me while commenting on how I am like a mountain that she is looking at my "theories" because I have a "principle" where I let some of my theories to be telepathically shared for friendly/amicable entities free of charge. Well it's not exactly free because they have to share their energies so I can give away some of my energies of sorts but that is a metaphysical mechanic and it boils down to >if someone gives you something you return the favor in one way or the other That keeps things balanced. "Greed" and petty selfishness is impossible in higher spiritual circles because it is like constantly eating without being able to digest it and shit it out. Hard to explain how it works in detail. But yeah she kept her presence around me a little and was wondering what she is doing. Hoped something like this. My energy work is like acupuncture and energetic shifting and overcharge and flow tuning and... too many stuff to list. Once I get good at one type of energy work my guides introduce me to an another one so I cannot say I managed to "master" a single one at all. >I'm curious, though, would you be able to tell which goddess from her energy alone? If I know the Goddess personally maybe but you must understand powerful entities operate via more than a single energy type. If I at least knew which culture she is from it would be easy but it is like a dark well of energies with dark skeletons sitting in the dark guarding the passageway. First I was hoping it's not Ishtar because how people see Ishtar nowadays is almost making me rant. The name Amatheus or Amaterasu tried to come over then Hera too but something is not right and I would need to breach a barrier to see the Goddess and I am not sure if I want to do that. The problem is that because I am in the "dark" I somewhat need to pass through a maze of pantheons to find what I am looking for. It's like being lost in a large bureaucratic building where you don't even know what the signs on the doors do or if you are even at the right place until you are somewhat familiar who or what you are looking for. Not to mention Goddesses have different aspects too that they can appear via depending on your skill level and connection with them. Like Athene appeared for me as a young tomboyish Goddess instead of the all powerful guardian of the Greek culture. She called me Atlas. I asked her why she called me that. She told me because I look like him. That gave me quite the amount of spiritual work as I went on to understand my true nature because of that greeting Also the name and the type of worship changes as the cultures evolve and since christianity we don't have "entity worship" anymore which means some entities larp as Christ or Saints or just stay in hiding then neo-Pagans somewhat resurrected them and let's not mention how they changed with the onset of internet. While back then you needed shrines and followers now they can "spread" via memes and other easily shared information on the web and that is just a mere "invitation letter" but those who can connect via it get the real thing like I said how they instantly get directed to the proper pantheon after the God(dess) accepts them. If you were accepted as a champion or some sort of avatar where her energy is beaming from your presence then finding her would be easy but with your current sufferer of mundane struggles energies around it is hard to locate. Some of those energies around you instantly start an energetic gag reflex so I don't take it in within myself. And if I start a deeper reading I see your mundane troubles more than the connection with your Goddess. I am still far from Omniscience. Also Goddesses have a sort of "true name" which usually stems from a description of their true meaning and not always the current cultural understanding especially because nowadays what we have cannot really be called a "culture" the same way it was back in the old days. Like I get the word "Amazing" because the Goddess was described via that and her energies but that is still not her name while she was called that. It's like tasting a strawberry yogurt and expecting you to tell all the ingredients the name of the cow and the workers who picked the strawberry and being able to say how much profit the company made the year it was produced. There is a level of mysticism where you can do shit like this but it depends on the clarity of the link. Quite scary when the visions are more clear than the reality you see and more meaningful than your entire life. You need an extremely balanced ego for that.

>>344 >No it's this one but with a more reddish tint hair and a darker background but it was just a glimpse but as I said I didn't play the game. All my knowledge comes from memes and shitposting. It was the hair. This long wavy hair is important staple for her. Also Malenia is rotting so ew. I don't think she would manifest as her. I was looking for images of Ranni to reply to this post, and as it turns out, her original pre-doll form just so happens to be a redhead with wavy hair. Is that closer to what you see her as? In some dreams, I've seen her look almost exactly like on the right image, black dress and all. The facial projection that Ranni has looks eerily similar to the faces I see. Another thing - the missing eye. I've had dreams involving Odin, usually in dreams where I gain wisdom and overcome parts of myself. Now I'm wondering why she's choosing this image to me and you. I suppose I should just git gud and play Elden Ring for once, maybe that'll help out. >but she said the "love" in my own language which has a different tune/inclination and when I "pressed" on that concept she somewhat shied away from this issue because my understanding of love is not "wholesome" My desire for genuine love was one of the things that attracted her to me. In her own words, "You never gave up on love." I get where you're coming from with insincere or manipulative love though; that's one of the things that makes me worry in this relationship. Perhaps it's another issue of mine, or perhaps it's intuition. I'll find out one way or another. >If I know the Goddess personally maybe but you must understand powerful entities operate via more than a single energy type. If I at least knew which culture she is from it would be easy but it is like a dark well of energies with dark skeletons sitting in the dark guarding the passageway. I should have known it wouldn't have been that easy. She's an obscure goddess, and would have been relegated to a historical footnote were it not for 8chan. I'll give you a hint: she's an Italic goddess, comparable to the Roman Diana.

>>348 >her original pre-doll form just so happens to be a redhead with wavy hair I completely forgot how her predoll form looks. Nice find. >Is that closer to what you see her as? She changed forms several times but she is more of an elemental energy and a form is something that appears only when our energies stabilize or reach a compromise. The form usually depends on the energy interactions. >black dress and all Yeah she had that. >the missing eye. I've had dreams involving Odin, usually in dreams where I gain wisdom and overcome parts of myself That is a complicated mechanic. The gist of it is that a part of your brain gets possessed or inspired and when that happens your consciousness goes into 1 hemisphere (more or less) and the other is being overtaken by some force that is communicating with you. The actual science is more complicated because it depends on how "open" is your mind and the brain naturally have some "slots" like some devices have USB ports and SD cards that can be used for data transfer so this 1 eye = 1 hemisphere is not strictly true but this is the base idea. I don't even remember where I read that inside of us the kundalini snake has 2 eyes one always sleeps while the other always watching. It usually refers to the third eye and how it functions but it is complicated. I have witnessed so many eyes while meditating or just introspecting and most of the times it turned out I am just activating some meridians of the third eye and the physical eyes. Losing one of your physical eyes allows it to be replaced via a "magical eye" that can see other things. It's complicated and even in the eastern tradition there is something called the "dharma eye" which gives you insight into spiritual teachings and the magical nature of reality. Balancing it takes effort. I didn't encounter Odin because I have my own wargod/allfather aspects already. Quite the few tbh. >I suppose I should just git gud and play Elden Ring for once, maybe that'll help out. Maybe. I only played the 3 Dark souls games and didn't play ER because my PC is too potato for it and I don't really want to buy a new one because I want to curb my internet and videogame addiction and I know once I buy a new PC I would just play decade+ old games or games that will waste half my waking time. Elden Ring is the usual fromsoft kino with a little George R.R. Martin flavor added and I think that is how it gained it's western folklore influences that dark souls didn't have. I skipped it so far. But the theme is on point so it might help. Who knows. >My desire for genuine love was one of the things that attracted her to me. In her own words, "You never gave up on love." Yeah I understand your relationship more now. I too never gave up on love but it is not something I look for. I mean it would be nice but I don't want to lose real love because of my current issues nor I want to be loved in my current wretched form. You heard that saying >If you can't handle my worst you don't deserve my best And no one can handle me at my worst nor I want to be my worst around the people I love. I want a love where I can be my best effortlessly. And now I know the way towards that. It takes time tho. It's a well known "manly autism". Prominent figures always had this kind of thing here and then. The spirits understand at least. >I get where you're coming from with insincere or manipulative love though; that's one of the things that makes me worry in this relationship. Now that I am wiser than back then when I feared love... Don't stress too much about it. Love is something natural that most people experience and it is not such a sought after treasure entities use for bait. Lust on the other hand is more dangerous as bait. Love is not always. The current world managed to make people way too stressed out about the ways of love. It is supposed to be natural and they made it artificial a product they make you think you need to "buy" then remind you you will never have enough money for love... Even love comedies are all about materialistic struggles. And those with spiritual messages and themes are always tragic. It's sad. Do you know how these tales were in the ancient times? >There was an evil being with mesmerizing beauty who ate people >Then he was slayed by the hero for being evil THE END then the other >There was this fickle entity in the wilderness that the innocent fool found >Then they had sex and lived happily ever with a new race of children stemming from them There were so many stories like this. Some of them remained but not much >I should have known it wouldn't have been that easy Well... The last days were quite interesting with that. While I am tempering my wizard arrogance to not jump into every type of trouble just because I can that doesn't mean I didn't dip into it. Where should I even start. It's a long story. While in the long past I worked with the planetary deities while still being quite the neophyte... Some years ago I had quite the dark night of the soul phase and had a dream. It was with Saturn. It was me a dark wall separating me and a large being that I thought might be Saturn. A gun appeared from the darkness. That gun had the extreme intention to shoot yourself in the head with it. It was a weapon that could only be used for suicide and not for killing others. I grabbed the gun slowly and put far away from myself so there was no way I would accidentally shoot myself in the head. A long hand grabbed that gun from the shadows and shot itself in the head. Saturn literally killed himself front of me. That was quite the I didn't expect this shit moment because I was expecting quite the mental battle. When that large body fell on the ground the energies left the body from the wound and the body turned to dust. The energies slowly and gently approached me then they entered my being and explained how spirit gives life and how the materia never lived and only it functions via the spirit. The spirit never dies nor the materia because the materia never lived. Reconnecting the spirit to the materia can resurrect it because the information that the spirit either left imprinted or it is unable to carry forward stay there. With this I learned how I can access the sort of "past history" that is hidden within everything. You just momentarily give back the spirit to the dead materia. With that you can retain past memories without disturbing the already dead spirit. A sort of informative necromancy. Has many other uses too but it's not important. The main lesson was that fearing death is only for those who are not one with nor understand the spirit. It was quite a milestone in my path because I learned how detaching the spirit from faulty materia is not always "murder" because they never lived they just malformed. With this I was able to change the form and the underlying mechanism far more effortlessly in many aspects of the mind/body and in reality too. Also I am in the agriculture business. That is the field of Saturn. How death creates life and how life creates death. Saturn is not just death and limitations. That perspective is faulty.

>>348 Now back to the current development >it is like a dark well of energies When encountering these kind of darknesses it is important to either have absolute conviction and break through (The reason why the absolute conviction is necessary is not just for the high success rate but because you will have to explain yourself to the spirit why you disturbed them with your reckless attitude) or take a step back and listen. Observing the nature of the darkness syncs your mind to the energies and might reveal it's origin and how to light the way in a gentle way. I realized I have the way of the branches already (It is a sort of energy work. How branches break through the ground you can feel energy move up that way in your body. Sometimes it is peristaltic like how worms move or it is like how lightning and electricity moves. These are important understandings of energy work especially if you break through mental blocks or connect to unseen and unknown places) Letting those branches form lighted up the way then I realized that I completely forgot to do my homework on this. About Artemis and the female aspect of magic and hunting and the moon. I have my own connection towards these energies so for me it was not that crucial. Then as I felt I am only steps away from a revelation I sat down and realized the only thing I know about Diana is that she is the Roman version of Artemis and the only thing I know about Artemis the she is the moon sister of Apollo has a bow and a dog and nothing else. So I looked up Diana because I know how she is the patroness of the hunters even nowadays but I didn't expect this deep rabbit hole that even the wiki listed. >with dark skeletons sitting in the dark guarding the passageway. Actually there were 3 skeletons in the 3 directions. I didn't know they represent that Diana represents the Y fork crossroads and she is a TRIPLE GODDESS. The hunt the moon and the netherworld. The reason why I have seen that dark with the skeletons because there was a legend about someone being buried under the temple of Saturn. It just meant how this aspect got into Rome after it somewhat "acknowledged" Saturn. Which means why it looked like that because I had the authority from Saturn but I didn't have the further understanding yet. Her whole deal is a mess. She was venerated by the latin tribes then somewhat were merged with several entities and once they made contact with the greeks Artemis and Diana somewhat merged because they made Artemis statues and shipped that to Rome then worshiped it as Diana. As someone who posts with the iron pill flag this is something I should have known so I felt kinda ashamed for not doing my homework in my past. What I knew before this is that Orion was the alpha male hunter the apex predator who was more of an animal than a man while Artemis was the divine craft of hunting. Artemis is a good archetypal aspect. Her femininity calms the male hunter who is alone in the wilderness while her dog represents the inner bestial aspects aka instincts of the man and focusing on that using their guidance can lead to extremely good tracking abilities. For women Artemis and Hecate is important because they regain their power and divinity as a female and with understanding the "dog" they understand the bestial nature of man and once they can sate/handle that animalistic aspect they can enjoy the better parts of their man. Not to mention Diana protected women during childbirth which is why I got Hera. Not to mention that "amazing" was referring to the word "Amazon" via signalling that it is a female but the "long lost female". Women nowadays don't understand what it means to be a "strong female". They think being strong means being bossy and bitchy. Women not being able to handle childbirth signifies an extreme weakness this is why they had to invoke these entities for protection. What I wanted to say with this. These energies were mixed up and thanks to christianity not respecting these traditions they had to appear in different forms. Diana at least is still invoked in games and other places because no saint managed to take her place. This is where I calmed down because I was getting quite the informational load and as you can see by my longpost I am still processing things. >an Italic goddess There were quite a lot. The ancient latin tribes the Etruscans and other forgotten tribes that were unified under the umbrella of Rome not to mention the greek aspects. The wiki lists Nemorensis and Artume but this is where I stopped looking. My homework was still not done and rushing in all directions is not wise. There were many more goddesses worshiped as Diana. Too many. People found these entities on their own while hunting and authority had to draw a line which Gods can be worshiped as state approved Gods. People had a closer relationship with these energies back then and wasn't just mere historynerd trivia like today. Letting these energies reemerge takes a little toll. Especially because I too have my own connection with my land and it was literally at the border of the Roman empire but was not occupied with it. Was interesting meeting the entities of my local hunting lodge in the past. They were like halflings. They are unable to connect properly in the last centuries but they are still here. It had the hunting party with horses and dogs feel and not the nowadays hunter but they try to adapt. Now I understand your feelings towards that farm. You don't desire the Saturn aspected back breaking work and toiling type of farmlife but the one where you can live with the forest via foraging and poaching without anyone bothering you... The problem that this kind of carefree life is almost gone from the modern world. You need hunting permits for everything work with your hunter's lodge and while reattaining that feeling is not impossible especially if you can go truly innawoods into bumfucknowhere where not even electricity or plumbing exists or at least find a community that stays silent but... I too think this is not what you need in the long run. It might refresh your energies living like that for a year or 2 but I am not sure that is your destiny but I don't know. It truly can be charming when you are used to it but nowadays it is a nightmare. You need money and time so you can work with the hunters lodge. Hunting is not the same like it was in the antic era nor like in the middle ages since we have rifles. It became the sport of the weirdos and the rich. It's either trophy hunting or some niche "kitchen hunting" but it usually goes for restaurants. I am not trying to ruin your dream I am just mentioning some facts about this lifestyle because it is around me. Even italians come here to shoot some ducks or boars. I could tell tales about the hunting industry.

>>348 But back to the goddesses. As I cleaned a channel a female entity grabbed me gently from my back. She told me they are able to return me the "lost female aspect of my soul". It is not exactly the feminine nor the divine feminine it is the naturally strong woman aspect that is "missing" from 99% of the women nowadays. The conformity made them too complacent too lazy. Nowadays very few women would be able to survive in the wilderness. Back then they managed. No one knows how. I reclaimed some female aspects in the past but not exactly this one. There are more mysteries here but they take time to uncover. I just wrote this as a thanks because you too managed to help me quite a lot with this. If you are still here and want to talk about this maybe more things can be uncovered but I am not sure where this will lead. There are many things here and made me wonder if this was an another coincidence or the winds of destiny because the way you didn't reveal the goddess was almost like an invitation. Like how the hunter is seeking the prey then thinks he lost it then it makes a noise and he accidentally enters a completely different grove which is out of this world. >would have been relegated to a historical footnote were it not for 8chan Was there a thread about her in the past that I missed? Was it on that other magical board... What was it's name again. Went there like twice but I was quite busy in the past so I missed quite a lot. This became quite long and I left out many details. But it's always that way with truly anomalous experiences especially if you are able to interpret them

I don't consider it anomalous at this point, but I can often decide to check out someone astrally before going to bed and I'll spend the whole night with them. They often remember it, too. I still can't fully control it, since I'm not 100% lucid.

>>354 >>355 >>356 >She changed forms several times What other forms did she take besides Ranni and her redheaded form? I'm curious to hear what you saw. >The gist of it is that a part of your brain gets possessed or inspired and when that happens your consciousness goes into 1 hemisphere (more or less) and the other is being overtaken by some force that is communicating with you. The actual science is more complicated because it depends on how "open" is your mind and the brain naturally have some "slots" like some devices have USB ports and SD cards that can be used for data transfer so this 1 eye = 1 hemisphere is not strictly true but this is the base idea. There's actually a pretty good website which goes over the scientific topic further. (http://www.uppsalaonline.com/uppsala/somafera/) Somafera, the author's name for what we would call the berserkergang or the riastradh, is that process of "posession", or perhaps mental unification, where you gain the superhuman abilities associated with that state. <There was this fickle entity in the wilderness that the innocent fool found <Then they had sex and lived happily ever with a new race of children stemming from them Funny, I would describe myself as that fool, but being a fool is not necessarily a "bad" thing. I was reading Daimonic Reality: A Field Guide to the Otherworld, which has a passage on the Wise Fool. In traditional fairy tales, he's the unassuming youngest son who's not the brightest, not the most accomplished, nor the bravest, and is seen as a useless idler and fit only for herding swine. He's the old-times equivalent of a NEET, basically. However, unlike his more accomplished and arrogant brothers, he's humble, listening to those who give honest advice, and cunning, able to outwit monsters that would eat him. On the quest to find the Princess, his brothers fail due to their arrogance or humorlessness, while he succeeds. Essentially, the fool, like the madman, has his own hidden wisdom. >I didn't know they represent that Diana represents the Y fork crossroads and she is a TRIPLE GODDESS Exactly, and that would explain why my spirit wife shows up as three different aspects. She's also identified herself with other triple goddesses like the Celtic goddesses Brigid and the Morrigan. There's a clear focus on life, healing and poetry, and also strength and war. This would explain a great deal about her personality, and also her more "tough love" moments where she tries to tear down the old and build up anew. It would probably also explain the huge amount of corvids I see all the time, assuming it isn't a natural phenomenon. >Not to mention Diana protected women during childbirth which is why I got Hera. Yes, and my wife is very sensitive about children as well. As an example, I was watching Eraserhead last night and the parts with the monstrous baby made her very upset. It was a very hard watch for her, and her feelings in turn made it hard for me to watch it. >Women nowadays don't understand what it means to be a "strong female". They think being strong means being bossy and bitchy. Definitely, and I think what helps is having lived with actual "strong women" in my family, all of whom were rural farmgirls and such who lived actual hard lives. >Was interesting meeting the entities of my local hunting lodge in the past. They were like halflings. They are unable to connect properly in the last centuries but they are still here. It had the hunting party with horses and dogs feel and not the nowadays hunter but they try to adapt. >Now I understand your feelings towards that farm. You don't desire the Saturn aspected back breaking work and toiling type of farmlife but the one where you can live with the forest via foraging and poaching without anyone bothering you... You nailed it. I just want to live a comfy life innawoods, although I certainly wouldn't mind the farming either, as I do love gardening. That would have to be a necessity anyways, just to have a stable source of food. >The problem that this kind of carefree life is almost gone from the modern world. Also sadly true, although at this point with how fucked the world is, I almost don't care about those. I'll try everything in my power to make it happen. >I too think this is not what you need in the long run. It might refresh your energies living like that for a year or 2 but I am not sure that is your destiny but I don't know Perhaps, but whether or not it is my destiny, I'll try it anyways. At the very least, I'll be energetically refreshed >As I cleaned a channel a female entity grabbed me gently from my back. She told me they are able to return me the "lost female aspect of my soul". It is not exactly the feminine nor the divine feminine it is the naturally strong woman aspect that is "missing" from 99% of the women nowadays. Hah, good luck with that, wizard. These female entities are a lot of fun, if you can manage them. At the very least it's good that they're working on the lost female aspect, that's incredibly important and rare in these days. >There are many things here and made me wonder if this was an another coincidence or the winds of destiny because the way you didn't reveal the goddess was almost like an invitation. Like how the hunter is seeking the prey then thinks he lost it then it makes a noise and he accidentally enters a completely different grove which is out of this world. I was going to reveal her name, but I'm not sure whether that would disrupt the hunt and give you a chance of discovery for yourself. I'll opt out of it for now just to see what happens. >Was there a thread about her in the past that I missed? I don't know if there was ever a post about her on /fringe/ or /x/, nor on the independent fringechans.

>>371 >I'm curious to hear what you saw. When I was going to sleep she sorta appeared like gollum but female and less bad looking but it clearly shows she lived a life within the wilderness. That doesn't mean she was ugly but adapted to the "raised by wolves" look. At that level her presence was somewhat faint so "divine appearances" were hard to pull. I know I have seen pics that describes that look better but search engines are quite shit nowadays so this is the best I found to describe it. Imagine them merging but with a wavy hair. >call the berserkergang wtf. How did I miss this site so far. I literally developed this technique on my own. Literally started doing it in the early 2010s. These correspondences are always weird. Will read through it sometimes. Thanks for linking it. While what it describes is something I did on my own it has useful observations and insights. >that process of "posession", Yeah I figured out how I can cultivate or overcharge my emotions then overload all my muscles with it. It was quite rudimentary and had many issues and finding this site would have been helpful a decade ago but at least I could find my theories on my own. Learning that it is possible to possess demons and other entities with this extremely overcharged mental state was something weird. Will read through the site sometimes. >perhaps mental unification Yeah I am doing that for a while >where you gain the superhuman abilities associated with that state Takes time to temper them. A wrong thought can wreak havoc. >but being a fool is not necessarily a "bad" thing In the tarot the Fool is the one that embarks on the journey to find the major arcana. He is the one that will find all the tarots. He represents the journey. He is one of the best cards. >the Wise Fool Yupp. That's him. >cunning, able to outwit monsters that would eat him Important skill on the journey. Arrogance sometimes leads us into the worst kind of pitfalls especially if the arrogance has no real merit. >and poetry Yeah when the connection got stronger the lessons started to rhyme. Made me realize how much I neglected the side of myself that liked that. Perfect channeling has a sort of beautiful musing. Because the feelings harmonize the words themselves. It's beautiful when it happens. >clear focus on life, healing and also strength and war I have these aspects but only their masculine version. Which is bad because it is imbalanced. This is why they offered me this missing part of myself. I realized I can use great deal of abilities now but I am too imbalanced and can't handle the recoil. At the start you cannot really go too far with psychic abilities because you don't have enough energy and you get tired or just lose your balance and need to start grounding to not go mad or sick. Now that I somewhat have my own foundation and my energetic connections... I had to realize my body doesn't have the necessary flexibility yet. Psychic channels have a sort of tension level and need proper postures and mindfulness. This is why in the past mad people had a strong pressure in the head and they literally made holes on their skull to alleviate that. That pressure can be alleviated it's just you have to understand how pressure and tension appears and moves in the head. The brain is a muscle and can be tensed as easily as the biceps it's just you need to be aware of the movements. Takes a little time to adjust. I could always turn off migraines and other pain types in the past but now my lesson is to become hypersensitive to pain and pleasure so I know that I am guiding the energy perfectly in my body. Truth is I more or less post on fringe to see how my energies change while talking about spiritual matters. Talking about them invokes them and they sway my perception and I realized I cannot continue on the path while keeping it deeply bottled down within. But that doesn't mean I have to go and ramble like a madman for poor mundanes. Not everyone has the ear and the time to listen to these drivels. Bu that doesn't mean it must be kept hidden within. Ir creates a quite strange energy block. Hard to explain. Muddling up truth with mundane matters hurts the development but understanding the flow of truth is crucial on the path. It's about learning to say the right thing at the right time kind of thing. >huge amount of corvids I see all the time Might be. Some years ago I had quite the amount around. Then some months ago a single one made it's caw caw caw quite close to me and I asked if it's carrying a message to me. I got a 'No' as a reply and it flew away. Didn't see corvids since that. Might be a coincidence. >Eraserhead I didn't watch that classic yet but yes she might have noticed the "influence" the baby was carrying. These surreal movies sometimes carry energies that connect to quite the hostile anti life hell dimensions. Some people call them trippy but they are quite inhuman and anti-life and lead to some perverted mental degeneracy which is usually followed by other issues. Can't say much about them because there are quite a lot of them and they differ in many ways. Visited some and some of them were interesting and some representation of some parts of the earth while some of them were an egregoric disease that had to be purged >she tries to tear down the old and build up anew Don't we all. Tho for me it is not a old vs new but more of a degenerated/diseased vs healthy/way of truth. >in turn made it hard for me to watch it There is that saying. Those who feel cry those who think laugh. As long as you "think" you can enjoy the horrors and peculiarities of these shows but once you start to feel what are they really about and what they represent you will be unable to enjoy it the same way. >I'll try everything in my power to make it happen. Good luck. Your dream is not impossible. Just don't stress on it too much. I too had to learn to not stress too much on the wrong issues.

>>371 >I'm not sure whether that would disrupt the hunt and give you a chance of discovery for yourself Well you see I am not exactly "hunting" because I am quite territorial. I have quite the territory I am overseeing and usually I just "connect the realms". I realized that nowadays there are many cults and ways people can access these information without being branded as a heretic but the energies have a hard time returning because the modern hubris we have around us made us forget the natural way. So usually I just unclog channels and help the entities increase their presence in this world. It's a sort of egregoric cleansing and maintenance. People lived and worked with these spirits in the past. Some people still do subconsciously without realizing. I am merely trying to find the way to help people reattain their truth. The way I do my journey nowadays is different. As much as it is fun to be on the hunt and as much it is fun to chase... My belly is full and my freezer is full with meat. If I wish for a prey it appears. That is not what I am looking nowadays. I want the forests to return with life. (Also currently I have like 50 deers around me when it was usually 5. Since I work with forest entities stuff like this happens. Not to mention my bunny who had a Rorschach test like pattern on his fur just decided to grow the symbol of Φ on his forehead like a special third eye. Good thing I am past the level where I am bothered by these minor coincidences.) >I'll opt out of it for now just to see what happens. You are such a tease. Might look into this case further. I am pacing myself currently because in the past I had an absolute thirst for these things but nowadays I have to understand that there is a difference between a wild animal and a rabid animal. Wild animals retain their own nature while rabid animals are only aggressive to spread disease. The wilderness has it's own natural calm that is needed to be understood. We forgot that because we were conditioned that this conformity and pent up stress is what constitutes as being calm. >I don't know if there was ever a post about her So does that mean you found her on your own? The only reason I am asking because understanding your original connection is important if I want to track the signature. Some spirits are around us since our birth some appear via destined events while we can find entities by our free will and desire. There are different mindwaves you have to use while tracking these forces. In actuality I could do it if I really tried but imagine if you only had a GPS marker to a skyscraper and you don't know if you are looking something in the sewer system in the skyscraper or on the plane that is currently passing over it. And I had to learn to not get overeager about this because jumping down from the plane crashing through a skyscraper and splashing into the sewer is not a good experience. This is why I try to limit my recklessness nowadays. Not to mention after it you have to either clean the energetic dirt or apologize to some entities and decide what to do with the "new friends" that decided to live with you suddenly. You see some people have "passive" entities that can sense their potential and waiting for the chance to tell them something and once someone with realized potential just snoops in they become like scam artists following you around. Trying to pull you into the weirdest kind of deals. I have a natural DO NOT DISTURB presence but once I break it via snooping into things that shouldn't be my interest they consider me too willing. I am not saying I am not it's just once you can see something it usually means they too can see you now. This is why figuring out the proper entrance into some mysteries is important. Not everyone wants to go through a sewer then beat the security guards just so they can buy a donut from the office cafeteria. Accessing some realms can be really this strange. If they are random evil entities no one cares if they are gone but if they are proper entities there are some customs that need to be followed. And once you enter these realms it's important to appreciate them. That way the experiences and the lessons stay with you. Might meditate on it later.

>>339 Hey Wizard, I need to warn you. Whatever spirits you're currently interacting with related to this matter need to be banished ASAP. This isn't some cute redheaded love elemental, it's a fucking reptilian - almost the exact same type that Kyle Odom saw, except I don't see the pointy cones on their heads. At least, that's what I'm seeing with third-eye sight. That "dredging up" of my emotions wasn't therapy, it was loosh farming - feeding that rot within me. The green lights I was seeing, the red auras, the tongues, the strange faces, the lower back pain, it all makes sense now. Can't believe I was fooled, but now I know. And my goddess did not send it, it wormed his way in. >Seems like my war ready hand manifested a large Onyx Axe. I have never seen that weapon before nor I had a need to use weapons for quite the long while. That was definitely your intuition speaking. This being is trying to worm its way into your defenses with false promises of "helping" and "loving" you, like it did to me. Fight this bastard, detach it from your body if it's attached, and cast it back into the abyss. Last thing any of us need is to end up like Kyle Odom.

>>376 >This isn't some cute redheaded love elemental Never truly saw it that way. For me to accept any being it needs to have an extremely divine presence. She was on an "elemental level" which is something I have quite the amount around myself. I don't need more. >it's a fucking reptilian There are quite the amount of reptilian and dragonlike races around. There are the 'slave' reptilians the 'overlords' then there are the 'criminal scum' reptilians that are some weird in-between if we go by the average reptoids new agers talk about. There are different reptilian races out there but yes if any of them shows hostility get rid of them. I too am somewhat uncomfortable with most of them. When one of them called me a "slave" I sent them the fuck away... It turned out the group that observed me was a slave group and everyone who is not a "Lord" is a slave by default. Like how jews call others goys or gentiles but reptoids even call their fellow lower caste like that. A low caste reptilian and a mildly psychic human is almost the same for them. But that is a complicated matter. Metaphysical politics are cumbersome af. Really hard to talk about. >I don't see the pointy cones on their heads I never seen a reptoid with a pointy cone on it's head. They are not always the same race. It's like how we have Nordics sub-Saharan Africans and different kind of apes. We are all hominids in a way but definitely not the same on many levels. Some reptilians live on earth for a while then some of them come from space or from weird neighbor dimensions. >That "dredging up" of my emotions wasn't therapy, it was loosh farming - feeding that rot within me Truth is life is a therapy by itself. Sometimes ending up in crisis situations renews us more than Psychiatrist taking our money and making us addicted to drugs. We need to get out of our "comfort zone" because usually it is this false comfort that is killing us. I too had my own share of life and death situations. Most of my life I was thinking how much I want to die and those life and death situations made me aware that I still want to live (but don't know how). Hard to talk about these things because as much as modern education taught us how the past was backwards and bleak people managed to go through it without anti depressants. And yes there are reptilians that meddle with spiritual affairs of humans but they suck at it because they don't understand human anatomy. We are too "apelike" for them and most of them are unwilling to accept the "godspark" we have. Hate to talk about it because newagers managed to make so many misconceptions I always fear what I say will just lead to further misconceptions. >the lower back pain Did it appear with the spirit? Our posture is quite dogshit in the modern times especially if we spend our time sitting the whole day then go and lift heavy objects. Not to mention sleeping the wrong way. Lower back pain can stem from many issues and if it's truly spiritual it needs an even further understanding. >false promises of "helping" and "loving" you Nah she understood quite fast that she cannot do any of those nor I have a want for those things. She didn't even try to promise anything. Once she noticed she is quite unable to enter my mind without causing pain and I was eyeing her like a snake looks at a passing prey she understood that forcing me in any way is not something she can do. But yes it was weird how she fast she appeared for me. "Love spirits" usually merge with our soul and not jump into an another place with a minor intent. Especially if they are in a "benevolent" or "STO" faction because to meet them usually you have to accept their thinking or "creed" in a way. Also if anyone is able to exploit my presence/defense it is a lesson. That means there are still parts of me I don't understand. I welcome my enemies because they too can teach many things... and maybe I too can teach them stuff they won't forget. >loosh farming You see not all "loosh" is something beneficial for entities. Some of them is like a disease like a curse an additional karma. Those that take that is not "theirs" will learn the price of that action. >Fight this bastard, detach it from your body if it's attached, and cast it back into the abyss I am sure you know the quote already from picrel. Entities exploiting your weaknesses is shadow work on steroids. Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise. >Last thing any of us need is to end up like Kyle Odom. But this one is true. If you are unable to deal with the entity get rid of it no matter what. I even had entities giving me a high density energy and it gave symptoms of epilepsy. I was unable to handle that energytype. Sometimes it's important to take a step back and observe the situation we are in. Also love is a bitch. There is a reason why I am not dealing with entities that use that energy at all. I need a high level of trust to even bother dealing with entities that emit any type of love energy. And let's not mention how many >I can fix her/him entities are all around and their methods are not always amicable at all. And yes your energies are confusion/anger and frustration/disappointment. Even I can feel it. And my sensitivity is barely above average in these things. Hope you get through it. Oh and one more thing. >And my goddess did not send it, it wormed his way in. Unless our energies reach a high level of spiritual clarity or as new agers say "higher vibration" we can only accommodate "lower entities". And they are more of a trouble than worth. It's not easy to find who or what we need at the start. Mostly because we are unable to even see them until the fog of lower energies clear from our vision.

>>376 I remember Kyle Odom; I have this saved on a flash drive from the old /pol/ thread about him:

>>376 Tried opening my third eye chakra through some chanting after having opened the lower chakras, and I saw a bit of a swirling fuschia and purple void. When I jumped off for a second to check half/pol/ my eyes fell upon some happy merchant edit of Jesus and I saw that image in its full vileness take up my third eye's vision. Was freaking out internally, telling myself to banish or remove it to no avail. I don't know why, but it feels like I can't synchronize my words to my mind and now my heart's been pounding in fear over it corrupting or overwriting memories. I feel powerless to get my third eye's focus off of it in any meaningful capacity, let alone wipe it from my being.

What is the /fringe/ explanation for the phenomenon of repeatedly waking up into multiple realistic "dreams" before waking up in this reality? It happened to me again last night. >couple of family members come to visit me >reminiscent of when I was younger and they came by frequently >they're both playing with their phones, sitting in chairs in the middle of the kitchen, which is weird but plausible >it's dark outside >I'm the only one standing up and walking around, mildly anxious >I notice there's carpet where there's normally tile and scrape it with my foot, feeling it vividly >someone who is abusive to me comes home and makes me somewhat more anxious that's the last thing I remember before I "woke up" >glad that stupid dream is over >this time everything is exactly as it is in "real" reality >sun is up >check out my desktop computer which I've accidentally left running again >there's this subtly animated pixel art scene on the monitor, of something that looks like a dungeon from a fantasy setting >not overtly sinister-looking by any means >oscillating text on the bottom says "2025 FOUND" >extremely vague yet ominous messages keep appearing as I struggle to turn the shit off >they imply that who or whatever is seeking me out through time, and it's coming >I finally get the inkling that I'm not actually awake >have to physically turn away from the screen and will myself out of there >almost indescribable feeling, kind of like I found a new dimensional axis and moved on it >in bed again, experiencing sleep paralysis which I'm very familiar with >I'm cool with waiting out the paralysis but I must look at the monitor to know if I'm safe >with extreme difficulty I manage to either physically turn my head or my astral body's head and see that the monitor is turned off >this time I'm awake for real Looking back it's obvious that much of this is psychological manifestations. However, I've experienced this 'layered' dream phenomenon many times, often without any negative emotional themes. Sometimes there are several more layers, all seemingly perfect reality simulations, and I end up telling the same person about it in the same morning over and over again. Based on the sensation and triggers, I can tell that it's closely related to lucid dreaming and AP, but the inherent confusion makes experimentation seem impossible

>>1400 >What is the /fringe/ explanation for the phenomenon of repeatedly waking up into multiple realistic "dreams" before waking up in this reality? There are a myriad of explanations and truth is I am not sure which one is the correct one here but I will try to explain. The mind goes through several "maintenance cycles" as you sleep to repair and prepare your conscious for the next day. Through this you either sleep soundly while your conscious is "offline" or you go through dreams. Going through dreams can come from several directions. One can be the activity of your "Higher self" of sorts which gives you guidance and such or a "trauma repair" where you have to go through a deep seated trauma so you can progress to the "next level" or your mind just really needs to heal or solve a mental block and for that you need to "experience it" aka generate emotions consciously so you can "overwrite" that trauma within your subconscious thus repair an energy flow of your body. The reason why I am replying because of your second dream. There is the one where it's non the above but either malicious forces or world events generate "energetic fluctuations" that you have to experience because you are connected to that energy. I think it was 4 or 5 days ago when I had a dream about my computer getting a computer virus. It was the constant ad popups with clearly scamming ad with gacha waifus and the like. Was wondering wtf did I click. Then opened the programs to see what was installed and found things like "Coca Cola" and other big corpos as "being installed and running" and was wondering was this always there or it appeared only now? Just how many viruses do I have. While wondering about this i woke up. Truth is most of the times I have several dreams in succession especially because I am a "snoozer" who goes back to sleep after the alarm and most of the dreams are just my subconscious sorting out things but some of them are related to events that I care about giving me weird premonitions. >almost indescribable feeling, kind of like I found a new dimensional axis and moved on it The thing is about "switching dimensions" is that usually every dimension be it higher or lower requires a different "mental state" and sometimes it requires you to "die" "switch" or at least leave "every baggage/attachment/low dimensional energy" behind. Which is very easy to accomplish by "waking up into a new dream". Dying and going to sleep have many similarities thus waking up and "being reborn" too. Not sure what this means but >bottom says "2025 FOUND" Maybe your life will take a new turn in 2025. Not sure. >they imply that who or whatever is seeking me out through time, and it's coming Many beings "live" outside of time and space which might include your higher self but sometimes just mid tier entities trying to "gain access" into your psyche. >in bed again, experiencing sleep paralysis which I'm very familiar with I had only one. I expected to be molested by some ghost waifu but it was a fat dude instead and made me so enraged I realized if I "feel" my right arm focused all my awareness on it then pump all my energy into it like when I am retaining control over a muscle cramp or when I am unable to feel my leg because sitting too much and as I felt that my hand is still "in my control" I threw that fucker out of my bed. Since that I don't have sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis usually comes from the body being unable to handle the "reboot process" in the right order. Truth is I like to sleep too much and because of that I go back dreaming instead of experiencing sleep paralysis but it's not always a "chemical imbalance" but sometimes an entity "visiting you" and your conscious goes on high alert before your body awakes completely. > Looking back it's obvious that much of this is psychological manifestations Definitely but the reason we have to do shadow work as much as possible because entities in the flesh or on the astral can exploit your weaknesses. So it doesn't really matter if it's your "own psyche" or some entity exploiting your psyche you have to fix these traumas on your own as much as you can. When you die you will have to face these fears as a "purgatory" anyways so it's usually better to fix them while alive so it won't plague your life further. >and I end up telling the same person about it in the same morning over and over again In a dream or you have someone around you can talk this out? I too talk to people or listen to people in my dreams without remembering what it was but if I really "tune" into it I can recall glimpses but most of the time they are "not that important" >often without any negative emotional themes The psyche's "maintenance mode" does not always require negative emotions. It can be many types. All feelings memories and experiences "have a place". Depends which "layer" is dominant in the current part of your life. >I can tell that it's closely related to lucid dreaming and AP Definitely. Both of them are all about being able to consciously access and go through these "layers" without losing yourself or your memories in the process. >but the inherent confusion makes experimentation seem impossible Yeah I realized how I can "Upgrade" my already well working daydreaming skills and how to go through trance states while meditating so usually I solve the "heavy stuff" while meditating or while still in bed so when I really "require sleep" I have only minor dreams and not cold sweat horrors and memories of butchering hostilities and such. Sometimes I have to let the dreams "play out" while sometimes I have to solve "the puzzle" so I can not say what I consider "lucid" anymore. If I can remember the dream and could retain "meaning" from it it's good enough but when I realize "it's a dream" then weird things happen and I have to make sure to not rip apart the dream before I can interpret "what is it about" first. The nightmares stop the moment you become the scariest participant of the dream.

Will pic related actually work or is it just new age nonsense?

>>1434 This would essentially act as an aromatic/tactile talisman. The act of mixing it would charge it with your intention but you'd be able to strengthen the effects via some other magical charging technique.

Had a very nice lucid dream last night. I was doing various magical things and it felt as though I was projected into a different universe (pic). That's how I saw it once I realized I was dreaming anyway. In contrast to the typical feeling of 'oh this is all just my mind'. Some small experiments I performed on the material that the environment was composed of seemed to confirm this as well. I think I'm very close now to being able to attempt an operation I've had loosely planned for a while. It slipped my mind this time, but now that I know how close it is I think I can do it. Basically I want to do a permanent Isekai reality jump. I really like how it feels to do magic in dreams and I want to attain that permanently. The basic plan is, once I become lucid during a projection-dream, to first put down some 'roots' to prevent myself from being swept away by the energies. Then make an effort to draw the 'nucleus of my awareness' from my mortal body through the connection between it and my projected form, so that the projection becomes the 'core' and the mortal becomes a 'dream-self' instead. Resulting in either the death or coma of the mortal body, or in that 'view of reality' simply disappearing. I've been doing some spells to move my karma in this direction but I'm not sure if karma is something that can be altered with magic that easily or not. I did one of these karma spells right before bed before I had this dream so it may be doing something. I believe that this is necessary because this current existence is simply bound up with too many various intentions and wills to act as an optimal vessel. The wills of 'the human race', the wills of 'family', the wills of 'society', as well as various other things and groups and individuals are all intrinsically bound up in my birth. I feel that these limitations are part of what prevents me from projecting my will through this body like I can through my projected astral forms.

I've started to master the art of falling asleep. There's a sort of way you need to relax your mind. Focusing on anything immediately breaks you out of it. If you do it correctly, hypnagogic hallucinations should start playing out. Looking at your mental images without focusing your mind on them seems to help a lot. It feels a bit like finding the correct focus for seeing those 3D Magic Eye images. Right now I'm running into the issue is that most of my hypnagogia are scenes and scenarios from videogames I play acting themselves out over and over again. This isn't very good for wake-induced lucid dreaming since you have no real 'ego' in that scenario, you're beholden to the rules of the game. So you end up not being able to maintain your composure and just go into regular sleep instead. I need to find a way to direct where my awareness is going when I start to dream, but without ruining the relaxed state that sleep and dreaming requires.

>>377 It's been several months since my last post and things have not changed. I've been trying to get rid of this being by grounding myself and following the instructions in Robert Bruce's Practical Psychic Defense. Examining this situation, I'm not sure if this is a reptilian or if I'm just freaking out. I'm not sure why it does this, and I'm at this half-way point where I don't trust it enough to listen to what she says other than what is being written. What makes me unsure about her "true form" is some of the smaller details. You were saying the being once showed up as this Gollum-like wild woman, and I had a tarot reading some time back where the reader got an image of an owl. According to Practical Psychic Defense, many demons can assume the form of Gollum-like creatures A demoness and wild woman associated with owls - who is the screech owl of the Bible? Lilith. I believe this being to be associated with her. I hestitate to call her a succubus, since again, the fact I'm seeing a reptilian figure means there's something up, but that, combined with the images of her I've seen in dreams, makes me think she's a succubus. She seems to change energetic forms, as I have seen her tak forms including the classic "sexy" succubus with pale skin, bat wings, flowers, and goat horns picrel similar to what she looked like, spoilered for its pornographic nature; a red-skinned muscular demoness; a lioness-woman; a white-robed banshee with monstrous claws; and Sarah Kerrigan's Zerg form. But why would it choose a reptilian form, then? The only thing I can think of, assuming it isn't actually a reptilian shapeshifting to gain my trust, is that she chooses that form to frighten me and force me into action, knowing how terrified I am of the reptilians. It is incredibly cruel, but as you said, those love spirits who try to fix others may not always be nice about forcing change. >Sometimes ending up in crisis situations renews us more than Psychiatrist taking our money and making us addicted to drugs. We need to get out of our "comfort zone" because usually it is this false comfort that is killing us. I too had my own share of life and death situations. Most of my life I was thinking how much I want to die and those life and death situations made me aware that I still want to live (but don't know how). That's exactly what I was thinking - and what this being expressed. Essentially, I've let myself be weak, miserable and depressed for far too long. I summoned her out of the weakness of my own heart, and now I have to clean up the mess borne out of my own folly. However, I've fought her for a long time, but she did not meekly surrender and leave. I've had to endure quite a few attacks from her, ranging from simple bullying to long spells of miserable depression and even energy body fuckery where she manipulates my energy body during sleep to rape me. It's been a long struggle, but I must admit that I am not strong enough at this stage to defeat her. After all of that, I've chosen to live with her presence, for better or worse. She's >Did it appear with the spirit? I'll admit that my posture is dogshit and I spend way too much time on the computer, but this is a different kind of back ache. I feel a certain weight on my back, and I can also feel a certain second weight on my body, especially when I'm lying in bed. It doesn't fully control me, but it energetically "guides" me, if that makes sense. That is what is so worrisome about this. It's partial possession, and while she claims that she doesn't want to possess me further - in her words, "I just want to tag along and fuck you" - I don't trust her there. >But yes it was weird how she fast she appeared for me. "Love spirits" usually merge with our soul and not jump into an another place with a minor intent. Especially if they are in a "benevolent" or "STO" faction because to meet them usually you have to accept their thinking or "creed" in a way. I have two hypotheses: 1) she is using other people, like you, to help convince me that she is who she says she is, or more 2) she's trying to find other victims. I definitely believe she's merged with my soul because I've tried to banish her multiple times to no effect, and because she's said as much. I definitely trust her word when she's blunt like that; it's when she's sweet that I have my doubts. >>410 >I saw a bit of a swirling fuschia and purple void. I had a dream on the 21st of April where I saw that exact form as she made love to me. It was a humanoid darkness with the purple energies swirling around her body in a double helix shape, one at her front and one at her back.

>>1838 If she merged with your soul while you're awake, then you'd feel an incredibly strong sensation that resonates through your entire body that feels like her entering your major chakras and the rest of your energy bodies. You'd also constantly feel her inside of your dream body when you're asleep. She is almost certainly attached to one or more of your major chakras, however, which ain't quite the same thing. If she does merge into your soul, then she'll enter your crown 1st, most likely while you aren't asleep. If she does enter your soul, then if you have a benevolent deity, you can probably just ask the deity to remove her from you. If not, then what I'd do is use a technique where you create a selectively-tangible hand or other sizable object that you can phase through your soul as if it wasn't even there, but will filter out your sexual predator. If you do this while she's fully inside of you, then you'll want to first filter her limbs into your nearest major charka, presumably your sacral or heart, and then prevent her from putting herself back in your limbs while you push her out of your root, and then up your chakras until she leaves your crown. There's probably easier ways to do it if you don't mind killing her. Unfortunately, I can't simply teach you said technique, but if you figure it out and you catch her starting to do it, then you can simply filter her out through just the parts of you that she's in, which'd hopefully mean just your crown. If she does it and you can't get her out of you in 15 minutes, then ask /fringe/ for help asap. While you're merged together, both of you will slowly start getting fucked up, as in non-physical "biological functions" not quite working properly, if you remain as one for more than 24 hours or so. Also, a fair warning to your sexual predator, if you try that shit and his soul is stronger than you in some regard or the other, his soul will literally start eating you alive if you don't get outta there before 3 days are up... or at least I think that's how it works. Either way, the longer you stay inside of him, the harder it'll be to get out. You probably don't wanna find out the hard way. I've temporarily done such a merger before with my spirit gf a few times, who I plan to marry, so I have some experience with this kinda stuff.

>>1865 I'd somehow neglected to mention that you'd also constantly feel her inside of every fiber your soul while you're awake, if she merged with your soul.

>>1865 >then you'd feel an incredibly strong sensation that resonates through your entire body that feels like her entering your major chakras and the rest of your energy bodies. >You'd also constantly feel her inside of your dream body when you're asleep. >you'd also constantly feel her inside of every fiber your soul while you're awake, if she merged with your soul I can feel her energy all the time when I'm awake. She's most strongly attached to my root and sacral chakras, which have manifested in the back pain, although I can sometimes feel her moving up and down my spine, where, if she's pissed off, she threatens to break my spine in half. When I sleep, I think she's a little more free to move around and interact with my energy body, hence the dream-rape. I also feel her hands and face on certain parts of my body. >If she does enter your soul, then if you have a benevolent deity, you can probably just ask the deity to remove her from you. First thing I tried was church, and that briefly worked. However, she was smart enough to leave her energy sprinkled around so that when I came home, she re-entered my body. She is not one to repeat mistakes, which is what makes getting rid of her so hard. >If not, then what I'd do is use a technique where you create a selectively-tangible hand or other sizable object that you can phase through your soul as if it wasn't even there, but will filter out your sexual predator. If you do this while she's fully inside of you, then you'll want to first filter her limbs into your nearest major charka, presumably your sacral or heart, and then prevent her from putting herself back in your limbs while you push her out of your root, and then up your chakras until she leaves your crown. I'll try that, but again, with what I've written in this post I have reason to believe she's already one with me. >There's probably easier ways to do it if you don't mind killing her. What methods could I use for that, if I had to? >Also, a fair warning to your sexual predator, if you try that shit and his soul is stronger than you in some regard or the other, his soul will literally start eating you alive if you don't get outta there before 3 days are up... or at least I think that's how it works. Either way, the longer you stay inside of him, the harder it'll be to get out. You probably don't wanna find out the hard way. Her response: <"Fuck you, asshole. He's my husband, I will have him, I am with him whether he likes it or not, and I will not have you get in the way of that." Or at least, that's the gist of it. Needless to say, she's not very happy. She's not doing anything yet, but I'll keep you updated.

>>1869 >What methods could I use for that, if I had to? Oh man astral combat is so fun. You can do whatever you want. Let your imagination go crazy. You could: >Create a white-hot fire in your center, configuring it to burn everything of the entity's wavelength to ashes. Make it hotter than the sun and expand it outwards across your home to act as a ward. >Turn your energetic body into a shoggoth or slime and have it pierce through the entity's invading body and consume it and digest it. >Project to the entity, turn the hands of your astral body into large claws and viscerally rip her apart. You can eat the remains if you want. >Beam negative death/entropic energy into the energy, should turn her into a skeleton at least. Just remember dream rules apply, if she fights back it's good to have faith in whatever energy is fueling your constructs.

>>1869 I personally don't like killing entities without un-killing them later; that's probably really bad karma. Also, would you remind us why & how you got into this relationship to begin with to save me a bunch of re-reading? Just a quick tl;dr, is all. If you really wanna kill her, though, all I had in mind was a variation of the technique where you simply don't deliberately make sure that she survives being pushed out of you, for example by pushing out her limbs last by disconnecting them from your major chakras, which you may or may not find relatively easy to do. Also, since she's already inside of you, you could try devouring her from the inside-out by simply using her non-physical energy to fuel your body instead of the energy stored in your dan-tiens. When I finished writing that, however, I got a telepathic message saying "I wouldn't do that.". Presumably, this technique in particular is something that wouldn't end well for you if you don't know what you're doing; it'd probably result in a bunch of health problems until you finish eating her. Anyway, don't kill her just yet; try getting rid of her first. She needs to evolve too.

>>1876 Allright I thought back to this; part of the reason why eating her from the inside-out would be a bad idea would be because your body wouldn't be able to eat her fast enough, and she'd just siphon energies from your dan-tiens instead of hers. I do get dumb ideas pretty often tbh. Also, if you did manage to eat her fast enough, her mental bodies would still remain, presumably.

>>1871 Okay, then I've tried something similar. I imagine myself using my sword, burning with a blue flame, and attack her that way, but it doesn't seem to be working. Perhaps I'm not putting enough pressure or faith into it, or she's just psychically stronger than me. Either way, I'll try these other methods and see if that dislodges or kills her. >>1876 >would you remind us why & how you got into this relationship to begin with to save me a bunch of re-reading? The why is simple: I was lonely and decided the best cure was to summon a spirit wife. The how is that I used the letter-burning method to summon one in the early months of 2023, and she began manifesting in dreams around Jun, and physically around November later. (The gap is due to having to do energy work and develop basic psychic powers, which from what I understand is fairly common for entry-level succubus summoners) However, going back through the early dreams that I still remember and from my dream journal, I'm almost certain she's been around since puberty. One of the very first sex dreams I had was about fighting and raping a red-haired woman. I've also had dreams of succubi for the past several years, really ramping up after I summoned her. >I personally don't like killing entities without un-killing them later; that's probably really bad karma. >Anyway, don't kill her just yet; try getting rid of her first. She needs to evolve too That's the conclusion I've come to after talking to her. When I gave her an energy of love and compassion, she seemed to become very uncomfortable - a mental image of squirming away from it - and said something about how she wasn't worthy of it. I will show compassion to her, but not naively. I'm sure she'll try to take advantage of it if I'm too kind. >When I finished writing that, however, I got a telepathic message saying "I wouldn't do that.". Sounds like something she would say.

>>1881 Make sure you also have proper intent to kill. That's very important.

>>1881 I looked at your situation earlier and saw her. So this is the effect of the letter method, interesting, I may try this. You have a strong connection formed at the bottom karmic section which is where people do bad things, normally called "living in sin" if in a Christian context, but in short it's just adultery, being gay etc. That connection is instead fully focused on her. You cannot break it unless you completely negate all such thinking and behaviour completely removing that karma/sin. For people who don't practice, this is completely impossible, the very reason the NWOs are trying to create WW3 is because they have no other way to burn off the excessive karmic energy they have created through this behaviour. They created covid in an attempt at dispersing their own negative energy from this connection, using the population as the scapegoat. If you try to attack her, your own energy will be siphoned to make up for the damage, so don't do that. You basically made her your "chaperon" AND spirit wife/guide, it's her spiritual task to maintain this connection so that you don't engage in sin with humans, and this is going to be spiritually accepted by all forces seeing it.

>letter method I finally get it now, why /succgen/ is still active and didn't die despite being filled with the worst of /x/ outside /nobody general/; it's because the letter method actually works in a very specific situation, but no one who performs it seems to have any awareness exactly why it works. I thought the method was redundant because it's just writing down your intent as a summoning and burning it and that calls the succubus, I don't need that to call on someone, I can just reach out and grab them. The main thing here is however in the mentality of the people who do this: Just as the reason why I (and yes Anon this is what I mean, I know you didn't "get it" before) made a point of learning/using alcoholism as a method. Regular addicts just want a physical experience and that's all they get, they see it as a party thing and want to increase their sensory pleasure in a social context. The trick is to never drink socially to the point of being effected, same with other drugs. Don't mix it conceptually into something else. It's possible to use a single drug to replace all other addictions, and THAT is how you are meant to use them in a spiritual context. I actually had great success with this quite recently from just drinking scotch whisky - a large black energy mass appeared and showed itself to be a lower being with long white teeth. It was ejected from somewhere deep inside my physical body, and when I later when out into the barn there was a dead blackbird in the floor. I've seen dead beetles and other small animals being left when evil spirits are killed, but never something this large. A mass of mixed addictions were replaced by a single addiction. Once you have only a single addiction it's much easier to get rid of. Instead of being addicted to all kinds of stuff it's just alcoholism left. This is where the /succgen/ers comes in. They are of a special mentality of having given up completely the idea of physical relations, so much that they are willing to substitute it for a succubus, whom they know isn't physical. That's when the letter method works. It doesn't work unless this strong "incel" mentality is already there, or you are able to consciously place yourself into the same state of mind. You get rid of the physical desires and get them attached to a spiritual being instead, who HAS TO be of the quality and power to be able to actually do this, some lower shit being can't do it. But most people can't explain why it works, and those over on /x/ definitely can't because they have that /r9k/ish mentality bordering to trannyism and general inceldom. This is also why they say it has to be monogamy, they are giving the responsibility for their desires to a single spirit. I guess it's the same for Christians who "become the bride of Christ".

K back to work I think I will keep this in this thread >>1881 I would just try to go forward in spirituality and as your energies awaken you can decide to keep her or let her go. You got a psychic "headstart" because of her so you will have to keep going on your own. I don't think she is a completely pointless/harmful entity because she can explain you "hell stuff" but I would try to go forward and ask her to guide you out of your problems or find other benevolent entities if she refuses. Also learn to discipline your woman ffs. No one will call the police on you and she will like it when you prove you are not a weak ass retarded male. And don't forget. You love her and want her. This is the reason why she is here. You either truly let her go and everything she gave you or accept your "original wish" as something that you still crave but you got spooked coz she reptoided herself. Truth is these astral sluts have hard time picking a body like a woman raised in the wilderness doesn't know how to dress "properly" and they will shift between the "bodies" you have within your mind. Feel like I want to say something else but you still love her too much to let her go. Just a little "trouble in paradise" will not make her depart. Also why are you scared of reptoids. Just boop their snoot or sg. Did you even encounter one? Oh wait awakening psychic powers. Yeah reptilians visit people with them at the early stages. If they are diplomatic send them away if not then BOOP THE SNOOT. They keep their distance from me. >>1868 >was hit with a poison arrow, and despite being a master healer, could not save himself. Healers have their "ranges". Chinese medicine especially portrayed in wuxia details cases how some healers can do literal miracles but when some nasty ass poison at stake then they need the most retarded antidotes when the character cannot push it out via "internal strength". >Haha, I can't lie. I am very jealous of her and her apparent interactions with others, but it's not something I have much control of at this point. Knew it. When you say I'm not jealous it's your "fearmind" and when you are jealous is the part of your mind which is connected her through love. You have hard time deciding if you love her or fear her. Wonder how other succgeners feel >Try to see if you can peel back the red-head form and see what lies underneath A weird static shadow? Cannot give a better reading. She is too attuned to your soul. I would need to look into your entire soul and with your "lenses" to see what is her actually. >that she's like a love elemental of some sort Am gonna be real with you. Am not even sure what is loveBABY DON'T HURT ME anymore. I know many flavors already and I am starting to put this into the qualia section. I could never fall in love out of loneliness thus I cannot match your version of "love" at all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF2BH4wSy2I >or is it something else? Not sure? She is lowering herself to be on your "soul level" and because of that her main form is not really visible. >What other details do you have from this being? She tells me she is not telling me the advice I seek. She wants you to sort out your problems be it within your life or with your lover. She tells me it's useless to tell you anything as long as you are on "this level". She is about "returning to nature" and "being one with it" and in your sorry state you have "no way" meeting her. >oppressive energies manifesting in severe depression when I piss her off That's woman stuff. Even I could do that to my husband when I was incarnated as a female. >threats to my physical body That breaking apart your spine? She will just make you have a weird back problem. All she can do is to mess with your energy flow and all she wants you to calm the fuck down and decide if you love her or not. This "love and fear" is probably making an interesting relationship dynamic between you two but srsly. Get a grip. What the others told you also sounds fun but all you need is to find the "connection point" and "let her go". I could tell you to write an another letter make it as detailed as you can and explain deeply from your heart why you don't want her anymore and let it wash away in a river or something...if you have 0 progress after like a week then I can ask about the proper energetic "dissolution of your contract" but I think you should figure out a way on your own first.

>>1884 >I looked at your situation earlier and saw her. Did she have the same appearance as what the other wizards see her as? i.e., redheaded, pale-skinned woman / shadow being? > You have a strong connection formed at the bottom karmic section which is where people do bad things, normally called "living in sin" if in a Christian context, but in short it's just adultery, being gay etc. That connection is instead fully focused on her. You cannot break it unless you completely negate all such thinking and behaviour completely removing that karma/sin In other words, if I had to get rid of her, you're saying my best course of action would be to become a chaste in thought and deeds until she decided to fuck off? Knowing myself, that would be extremely difficult. >>1916 Excuse the delay in replying. I had several long talks with her this weekend when I had the time, and we came to the conclusion that I'll try to salvage this relationship and to have a spiritual marriage come Lughnasadh. This will be my course unless something else happens. >I would try to go forward and ask her to guide you out of your problems That was one of the conditions she and I agreed upon: that she would help me with my problems, as long as I work on actually fixing them and continue to devote myself to loving her. >Also learn to discipline your woman ffs I did. As it turns out, she's into that sort of thing. >You have hard time deciding if you love her or fear her. Wonder how other succgeners feel Yeah, that's the thing. Judging by what I've read from other summoners, this is a common enough issue that it's one of the main stages in a general timeline of spirit relations. And funny thing, I only got into the /succgen/ stuff fairly recently, after our relationship was already established. I performed the letter method instinctively. I realize now that she most likely implanted that idea in my mind, to make complete what was already there. >She wants you to sort out your problems be it within your life or with your lover. She tells me it's useless to tell you anything as long as you are on "this level". She is about "returning to nature" and "being one with it" and in your sorry state you have "no way" meeting her. I see. So this goddess, or perhaps "mistress" is a better term for now, needs me to uplift myself into a higher spiritual level in order to truly know my lover and her. I'll have to find out more about her once I elevate myself and spend more time in nature. >A weird static shadow? That's what I currently see her as. I can see two eyes, a nose, a mouth, and a general outline of her face. She has a tongue of many colors, and a purple visage when she's near me. I assume this purple color is due to her interactions with my aura and higher chakras? >This "love and fear" is probably making an interesting relationship dynamic between you two but srsly. Get a grip. Fair enough, I've spent way too much time airing our dirty laundry on /fringe/ instead of being with her and practicing magic. Thanks to all you wizards for your help, and if I decide that this relationship just cannot be salvaged, I'll try these techniques to get rid of her.

>>1949 >Did she have the same appearance as what the other wizards see her as? i.e., redheaded, pale-skinned woman / shadow being? No, I think what others saw (redhead with vines or hidden) was the Vixen servitor I released some while ago. >if I had to get rid of her, you're saying my best course of action would be to become a chaste in thought and deeds until she decided to fuck off? Knowing myself, that would be extremely difficult. That's why you don't form these contracts mindlessly. But it's not a bad relation, she's just handling this side of you and making sure you can't engage in mortal sins, she'll make that impossible ("you should only do those things with me, anon!") It looked like a good deal, which is why I decided to do this now, from a conscious standpoint. I don't want those kinds of human relations in the physical to begin with (because it's only harmful and would block my path, duh). But I also don't have the kind of current /succgen/ hopeless mentality so I couldn't "give up hope" on human relations like they do, rather I have to see that that's not all there is to it and there are also decent ways to interact with humans which are spiritually motivated, I'm not giving up those, they don't fall into the same category though they may look the same. So it looks like a good idea to let someone be dedicated to safeguard my lower connections. https://fuccasucc.com/2020/03/08/the-letter-method/comment-page-1/ I just read this again to see how exactly it would be done, did nothing fancy, just a note which I burned after entering the right mindset and being clear on my intentions. The message got to its intended receiver instantly. Because I can see and communicate with spiritual beings I could also easily talk to her about where she's from and see what she looks like. She's from a race of demons who specialize in these contracts, they're staying in a hell dimension which I was able to see once she pointed to it, it's below the Earth, under the tunnel of destruction and to the north-west. She is tall with wasp thin waist, large bust (more than H cup in human measurements), limbs other than that look fairly humane with some hint of exoskeleton in shape. Mouth is very large, when smiling it's almost ear to ear, but she can instantly contract it back to looking normal human. Teeth look a little scary ("I don't bite, it's one of our reflexes to not bite someone whom we gain something from!") but they also change form depending on angle of viewing her. Energy color is red-brown-orange-pink/brown.

>>1949 >Excuse the delay in replying If it's within 3 days I consider it fast. We have our lives so I don't expect others to be terminally online and reply within 3 hours. Especially with complex cases like this. Take your time if you need it. >we came to the conclusion that I'll try to salvage this relationship Yeah I felt like this is your "heart's desire" this is why I didn't look into other ways to disintegrate the contract. >That was one of the conditions she and I agreed upon: that she would help me with my problems, as long as I work on actually fixing them and continue to devote myself to loving her. That's nice. >I did. As it turns out, she's into that sort of thing. Ofc she is. If you are unable to bring out the "male from your shadow" then you won't become equals ever and will misunderstand and squabble with each other on minor differences. The way society emasculates us then expects us "to be a man" then parades around criminals as saints when it fits a narrative confuses and makes people second guess their true nature all the time and urgh... let's not even get into it. There is a reason why I am unable to fall in love out of loneliness. Sometimes it's better to be alone than with retards. And finding the quality in others takes time and nuance. What I wanted to say is that try to understand that weakness and impotence is not a virtue. It's important to accept our weaknesses but we must realize how we can train and let go of them. And showing your strength and capabilities is not a weakness. Exploring and understanding your potential is what makes you a true human. >this is a common enough issue that it's one of the main stages in a general timeline of spirit relations. Yeah this is why I said it. It's a relationship that you never had before and one that is considered taboo so you will have minor misconceptions as you interact with the spirit world. Don't forget btw. As your strength and awareness increases you will have more say in these matters. Not all spirits can keep up once you unlock your potential. But that is a different story that I am sure varies with every person. >perhaps "mistress" is a better term for now Still not sure what is it and she has a hard time explaining it to me. My mind is not really on her wavelength yet. >needs me to uplift myself into a higher spiritual level in order to truly know my lover and her Definitely. Maybe you will encounter other truths by yourself as it happens. >A weird static shadow? >That's what I currently see her as This usually means you or she has hard time "stabilizing" which means the "distance" between you and her is quite huge. It causes misunderstanding until your "reality" or energy field synchronizes. >I assume this purple color is due to her interactions with my aura and higher chakras? It's quite complicated but let's say yes for now. >Fair enough, I've spent way too much time airing our dirty laundry on /fringe/ instead of being with her and practicing magic No worries mate. This is one of the function of fringe >Thanks to all you wizards for your help Your welcome! but don't forget to share interesting insights when you think fringe is ready for them. >decide that this relationship just cannot be salvaged, I'll try these techniques to get rid of her For that you will need to understand how to dissolve your contract. But I don't think you are ready for that yet. Understand her wisdom a little. >>1952 >was the Vixen servitor I released some while ago What was her purpose again? >I think what others saw (redhead with vines or hidden) Yeah but she had an entire realm and felt like a major guiding force. We know so far cause and effect can be whacky in magic especially if a higher entity decides she will "get involved" and people out of nowhere start to have dreams and start creating stuff about her. I am not debating that it's not your servitor but I am not sure if it's that only. I mean I have several redhead entities but this was none of them nor it felt like one of your servitor. But I am not sure. nvm I found it in coven >It's a fox search bot nope it's not this one. Managed to connect to the energies and it's different. Analyzing your servitors is so weird. Especially once you let them "roam". I can just feel how different is our autism when it comes to magic in some cases. >But it's not a bad relation Yeah she can help him quite a lot. >she's just handling this side of you and making sure you can't engage in mortal sins >she'll make that impossible I would say moderately hard and not impossible. >("you should only do those things with me, anon!") <He has to deepen his connection with her first. The contract is still not properly established. (fuck this was a loud message from her) Mixing human and spirit relations when they didn't stabilize yet is dangerous for the humans and for the spirits too. We can look at this from the "Mortal sin" angle too but the real problem is how the energies create a strong enough force that can be considered a "contract" that has the power to last. And if he mixes it randomly with other people weird anomalies can happen. But seems like she has a "responsibility" explaining this to some degree. >they're staying in a hell dimension which I was able to see once she pointed to it, it's below the Earth, under the tunnel of destruction and to the north-west. Yeah when I looked at her "signature" days ago and not the whatever she is capable to manifest for anon yet I've seen a dark red inferno. It's not "too potent" (for a hopelessly firesexual person like me) but has a specific use for clearing out faulty emotions.(Not for me tho because just looked at it again)They just called me a "demon of the worst caliber". Too strong too thickheaded too annoying too absolutistly retarded and hopelessly romantic. then I connected some other realm that is still testing me? The "nightshacklers"? Oh so this is their dominion over reality. Felt like they want to put chains on me but they break so easily I think this was meant as a test from an another force. Pull a chain and get a demongf. No wonder they are this easy to distribute. Always funny to see how some underworlds operate.

>>1959 >What was her purpose again? Well here goes for the good explanation: Vixen is the "system" servitor for /coven/. The replacement for glowies where we spread fox-based magic to various aliens and astrals who agree with us and let them operate from the shadows instead. With the new /fringe/ protected, their influence would show in some way, and it's reasonable that the vixen servitor would show up at one point if so. >if a higher entity That was the whole point, give them a framework for how they can work with us. They created an entire galaxy out there already, so there is indeed a world behind it. The point was just to inspire them to work with us in ways that we can both agree on.

>>1960 >reasonable that the vixen servitor would show up at one point I agree but what is >fox-based magic I have hard time connecting to your "idea of a fox" for some reason. I know you mentioned your higher self manifested as a kitsune once but the servitors don't feel like a kitsune. I can feel their "search function" that is somewhat based on the way how foxes "smell search and hunt" but >That was the whole point, give them a framework for how they can work with us. They created an entire galaxy out there already, so there is indeed a world behind it. Okay. >The point was just to inspire them to work with us in ways that we can both agree on. Fine let's agree on this. I feel like I am splitting hairs because of some deeper principle that I am still unsure about. Feels like whatever I try to say can be denied because they are that much "in the shadows" which means they can be or do whatever as long as they stay in the shadows. Be a higher entity be the messengers of a higher entity be absolutely uninvolved with the higher entity then get involved later... and other permutations of what constitutes or can appear as "truth" when it's not even visible.

>>1962 A fox is a being on the tree of races which is a mammal with fur. It is closer to cats than dogs and bears, but it is not a cat. It works in the same way when including the corresponding humanoids. So it means to perform the magic in a way which is close to the racial traits of this mammal, and that's really all there is to it. /coven/ was meant too be mysterious in such a way that when you say something and you know exactly what you meant, after saying it and someone hears it, you realize that there is a new layer of meaning which gave the listeners an insight which was not intended by you, but you don't want to break the agreement which arose from their insight, so you play along and pretend that they understood what you implied even if you meant something else. Through this all interactions evolve in mysterious ways which gives everyone a feel of hidden knowledge and secretive organizers behind the scenes playing games of enlightenment like zen riddles which sound clear when spoken but have no clear solution.

>>1952 >No, I think what others saw (redhead with vines or hidden) was the Vixen servitor I released some while ago. That may be the case. However, I will note that she often appears to me as a redhead with those features, which is why I >she's just handling this side of you and making sure you can't engage in mortal sins, she'll make that impossible ("you should only do those things with me, anon!") That would make sense. When she first started manifesting to me, she was adamant that I followed certain rules, the common sense kind ("Don't kill innocents", "don't rape anyone", "don't kill yourself", stuff like that), and elaborated that if I needed to, I could take out certain emotions on her instead of acting out on them. >I just read this again to see how exactly it would be done, did nothing fancy, just a note which I burned after entering the right mindset and being clear on my intentions. The message got to its intended receiver instantly. It may have worked, but it's clearly not the right method if you're not blasting Slayer while performing the ritual. >Because I can see and communicate with spiritual beings I could also easily talk to her about where she's from and see what she looks like. Wait, I'm confused. Are you talking about my girl or some other demon you summoned? If the former, then exactly how tall is she, how many horns does she have, and what is the "hint of exoskeleton" you're talking about? I'm not surprised about the size of her tits, although ironically she shows up as flat-chested more often than not. ["It's a welcome change of pace."] I've seen the scary teeth from a dream when I first began fighting with her, which she used to bite at me. It reminded me a lot of Mileena. As a test, if it really is her, ask her by what name I know her. >>1959 >Exploring and understanding your potential is what makes you a true human. That's what she's been harping on about, that I need to explore my full potential and not waste it. >This usually means you or she has hard time "stabilizing" which means the "distance" between you and her is quite huge. It causes misunderstanding until your "reality" or energy field synchronizes. I will assume it's an issue on my end just because I'm still a newbie, although I suspect she's having issues on hers. >It's quite complicated but let's say yes for now. Let's hear how it works, complex or not. I'm interested in the spiritual mechanics behind that phenomenon. <He has to deepen his connection with her first. The contract is still not properly established. If that's true, how do I "properly" establish the contract? >I've seen a dark red inferno Perhaps that would explain the red hair and the red-skinned demon form I've seen. It would be a convenient "shorthand" for an expression of that energy. >but has a specific use for clearing out faulty emotions. That would explain all the emotional and spiritual healing I've experienced. She's been doing a bang-up job of it through comforting words and relentless mockery. The latter in some ways is more effective than the former, because it has a special way of making you realize just how silly some of your anxieties and complexes really are. >but don't forget to share interesting insights when you think fringe is ready for them. I'm not sure about insights, but I've had several experiences which were interesting. Last winter, she was trying her best to pull me out of body for an AP, but I would often resist because of my own fears - a fear that I would be devoured if I were to go out of body. Once, when she tried it, I had my childhood dog come up and drive her off with a growl. I've also seen wolves and wolfdogs waiting outside my bedroom door the one time I was very close to an AP. I wonder if I have a special affinity to wolves and dogs, and how I can use that to my advantage in the berserkergang.

>>1970 >I'm confused. Are you talking about my girl or some other demon you summoned? I'm talking about mine, obviously. I only looked at your to see what the connection was like and what kind of demon it was.

>>1971 Oh I'm retarded. Sorry about that lad.

>>1970 >That's what she's been harping on about, that I need to explore my full potential and not waste it. Yeah this is why I didn't want her to go away when she has at least this level of wisdom. You need to find an entrance into spirituality and if you managed to get to this level then why waste it? You will feel lovesick and summon her again if you break up. Your heart is not that hard to read...Compared to mine where I get insulted halfway for being that hard to understand. At least higher entities understand me. Demons are usually a mixed bag because I am "weird" for them >I will assume it's an issue on my end just because I'm still a newbie, although I suspect she's having issues on hers. Yeah both of you have issues. Just get to know each other and the sync will manifest. Also you can also do the "scary and predatory" shit to her as flirting. Predatory entities like that stuff. Fear and lust are quite close emotions on vibrational level. >Let's hear how it works, complex or not. I'm interested in the spiritual mechanics behind that phenomenon. Where to even start... Every "chakra" of yours is not just an energy source but a way how you perceive and act in the world. All of them generate a "body module and a mindset". All of them exist at different wavelengths and "dimensions" "at once". Currently you perceive the earth dimension with your physical senses. We all see the sky as blue with our eyes and hear the noises in similar manners. Now the third eye can be tuned to be able to access the "different wavelengths of reality" and the purple is the "edge of the aura" so to speak. The veil between the microcosm and the macrocosm more or less. More complex than that but that is the level of your connection point yet. As you synchronize she will gain a more "corporeal" form and you too might be able to visit her realm. She will assume the frequencies your body and spirit operates on so will your spirit or astral body "be touched" with the energies of her frequency. It will be either scary crazy or ecstatic when it properly happens. There are more details I cannot explain because the succgen succ tribe has their own modus operandi and well... I am quite bad using their stuff without breaking half of them. Found the "organizer entity" behind this whole thing but he is like a multidimensional eye and I was trying my best to not scare him shitless once I broke several blocks that are supposed to make the "chains and weights" to make the contracts a reality as they "bridge the worlds". >If that's true, how do I "properly" establish the contract? By being a good boy and doing what she tells you to do or you awaken your magical intuition and "feel the way". You will do tantric shit and cause orgasms for each other and that will do half the trick and the next steps are formalities where you will can decide how hard or deep you want this relationship be. Dunno if you can speedrun this in a months or it will take years. Not an expert on spirit love with these kind of demonesses. My relationships are about utilizing internal and external powers of reality and the "tantric practices" are just methodologies to reach it and not the main thing. This is why they called me "hopelessly romantic" because what I consider true love is something stronger than the forces that govern reality. They cannot give that to me because I will attain that when I am "ready" anyways. >She's been doing a bang-up job of it through comforting words and relentless mockery. The latter in some ways is more effective than the former, because it has a special way of making you realize just how silly some of your anxieties and complexes really are. Yeah you will have to break out of your "mental prison" to reach her. Your energies are too subdued. >a fear that I would be devoured if I were to go out of body I mean... her energies would literally "devour you" that is how you get "touched" how you attune to her reality where you can astral travel to her dimensional spheres like how succgeners advertise their general with their memes. >Once, when she tried it, I had my childhood dog come up and drive her off with a growl. I've also seen wolves and wolfdogs waiting outside my bedroom door the one time I was very close to an AP. I wonder if I have a special affinity to wolves and dogs They are your guardian spirits. And yes you have an affinity but it's not deep enough yet. >and how I can use that to my advantage in the berserkergang. Well if you want some advice who has his own army of wolf spirits then. The most important truth is that canines are all speed and bite. Their jaw can lock and never let go until they rip apart their target. Speed is paramount. Always bite the throat of your enemy faster than he can bite you. Aggression is paramount. The stronger the enemy the more aggression you should let take over you. Let your enemies make the first mistake. Stare down contests are important. If they are weak let them run and decide if you want to pursue them. If they are on your level then understand your instincts as they try to tell you the way to fight. If the enemy is stronger then let all your primal fury overtake you. Decide if you think yourself fast enough to run or strong enough to get the killing blow first. You can only defeat stronger enemies once your instincts mapped out their first move then instantly move in a counter move. Once you get good and addicted to defeating stronger foes "ecstasy" you will have to learn to gauge your own addiction so you reach certainty and bravery and not mindless recklessness. Oh and always notice if your enemy has recklessness or the calm of a cold killer as they make their advances. They require different strategies. And never let fear paralyze you. Submission is not always a way out but an invitation for abuse. And there is a difference between making feints and mistakes. Don't try to look professional. Be fast and wild. There are no limits but you will have to break several to understand that. Not sure how deep is your berserkerang so I am not sure what advice I should tell you. Seems like the current animal that leads your psyche is the "monkey" and not the ferocious beasts of your subconscious. The deep growl of your subconscious is still subdued and not awakened to be able to "Bite". I think you should try to get acquainted with the animal spirits of your surroundings to get better insights on this matter. Wanted to say that maybe your predatory waifu can be a sparring partner but she kinda told me a "pls don't make him do that". So only do "sexy discipline" and not the true beast devours the lesser beast hyperaggression mentality or she will be unable to show you her love and might.Women I swear. Cannot understand the masculine urge of hyperviolence. Good thing I found some drow who is the best match for these kind of mad masculine energies. Never realized before how much I wanted a capable and loyal slut before fucking them. First time in my life when I felt that my raging heart is at peace for a single moment. Whenever I try to remember that feeling my whole body goes ablaze from energies. I should work with them more

Had a real nasty dream where I was throwing up feces. After waking up, I thought, was that some sort of weird attack? But vomiting is a cleansing act. Maybe that stuff was really inside my body and I was just expelling it.

Also, the first night after I began Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreaming (MILD), I was able to have a lucid dream. Visualizing the act of performing a reality check in response to one of your pre-set 'triggers' seems to be extremely effective. I believe that I'm approaching the culmination of my Great Work. I nearly have all the tools I need, now I just need to practice my technique.

>>1985 Could you taste the feces in the dream?

>>2005 Thinking back on it, no. It was very disgusting though.

>>2008 What have you done in your lucid dreams recently? Do you prefer MILD or WILD?

>>1985 >>2005 >>2008 Maybe it was telling you to kindly stop shit-posting ;o)

>>2029 I think he just rejected the Brown Pill

>>2028 I have only been able to get WILD to work once, over a decade ago when I was a teenager. I hear that it's a lot easier if you do it immediately after waking up but I always just fall asleep when I try this. Might try a bit more forcefully. I have been experimenting with the effects of various sigils, and I believe I know what I need to do next. My dream-self is different than my waking-self. I need to work to merge or connect the two, so that my motivations and drives can carry over between these states.

>dream I travel to a distant solar system where I interact with a blonde-haired man, kappa-like beings, aliens, and non-corporeal intelligences residing in the walls of a room, communicating through living text on those walls >come back home, where I discover a hidden CIA base underneath the waters of the ocean near my area >I enter a room where there's a stage with light blue carpet, an altar, and a real cross at its center. I get the impression that sacrifices were made here through crucifixion. >find myself on the shore, where I see four or five massive black triangles flying off into the night sky one by one >go back inside the CIA base via submarine. >soldiers in fatigues and caps running around, looking for some sort of intruder (me, perhaps?) >I go to a security checkpoint on the base, where a CIA guard catches me >cue action sequence where I grab his revolver from the holster and hold him hostage, his cronies shoot at me, and I shoot all of them dead >take their guns from their corpses, frantically reload while the whole base descends upon me >wake up soon after Fucking glowniggers got what they deserved for fucking with my dreams. I'm concerned about that base, the room and the travel to another system. Is this just a dream, or am I engaging in higher-dimensional travel? And the kappa-like beings, I know what they are and I don't know what those reptoid bastards get from such obvious disguises.

>>2054 Pyramid ships are the latest thing, everyone has them now.

Tried WILD last night after waking up. Did that palms-down position which prevents your mind from going to sleep. After a few minutes my body began vibrating violently and I was seeing intense chaotic colorful shapes in my vision. I ended up getting scared and changed my position to just go sleep normally. Looking back, the issue was that I forgot to consciously invoke my godform. Which resulted in the fear-of-death sensation from leaving my body not having anything to rebuke it. This was the same issue I had during a previous lucid projection-dream, where doing a physical solidification spell from a human standpoint just caused me to shoot back into my body and wake up. I'll try again tonight. After this I had a pretty interesting experience where I was detained by some federal agent types in a dream and they began trying to recruit me. In their interrogation they revealed some information that confirmed a certain personal suspicion I had about my magic's effect on society (can't be specified here at this point). The agent claimed he was part of the IIluminati (or PTB), but when I asked him to prove it he just had me smell him. Which was weird. He seemed disappointed when that was meaningless for me. After I got bored I broke out, and the agents either sent some flying cuttlefish creatures or turned into them to chase me. They had a lot of wards around the place which were interesting to break through. It was like cutting open a series of reality-veils and flying through them over and over. One of the cuttlefish said "Wait! Why won't you join us?" and I sad "Because you're evil.". Then it just said "Oh." and left.

Okay, I think I figured out what I have to do. The issue isn’t a matter of ‘remembering that I’m dreaming’. I’m starting to realize that in most of my dreams I’m already aware of that on a subconscious level. I certainly make ample use of lucid dream magic techniques like flight, levitation, overt magic, etc. in most of my dreams. And I’m usually able to exert my own will on the events that occur rather than blindly floating through the currents of the dream. The issue here is that the fact that I’m dreaming simply isn’t relevant or important in the context of the events that are happening. So, the solution to this is a mnemonic device. As in, a literal device enchanted to serve the mnemonic function of making my waking quest, desires, and timeline relevant somehow to the events that are occuring in the dream. The basic principal comes from an occurance I noticed, how often times after I wake up I can’t remember any dreams at all and conclude that I must not have had any, but later when I’m having a shower or something I’ll have an errant thought that just so happens to have some energetic similarities to the dream I had and suddenly all the memories of it will pop straight into my mind with vivid clarity. This should be pretty simple. I think all I need to do is take an object I carry with me most of the day, and imbue it with an informational link to the context of my waking life. Then, increase the energy and importance of that object, linking it to my astral body. This should cause the object to begin appearing in my dreams, and once I see the object I should automatically access the memories of my waking life since the meaning of the object points towards them.

>>2360 If you want a professionally made one, just ask. https://shop.creepyhollows.com/?target=search&mode=search&substring=lucid%20dream&including=all I can usually copy these pretty easily, haven't played around with lucid dreaming because I see dreams as just messages and don't really care, but enchanting objects is easy, can be good practice if you want to try a pre made one.

>>2361 Thanks but since I know now exactly what energetic function it's going to need to perform it'll probably be simpler if I just do it myself.

>>2362 I hadn't thought of it myself, went to look now what they had. I'm trying one of them with a general function. That's the downside with spells sold in a market, hard to get them fine tuned to yourself exactly, but if you are clueless it's a help.

>wake up from a somewhat therapeutic dream, with symbolism about going down the road less taken >now in a hypnopompic state >my vision is totally dark, except for a single violet-purple point at the top of my vision, where my third eye is >hear a woman's voice say, "Hey Anon, watch this." >the point pushes towards me, revealing a violet-purple face >hear a distorted electronic version of that voice ask, "Hello? Hello?" >I reply, "Hey love." >she seemed content with that and the dream ended Succubi are something else, I tell you what.

>>2684 Did you happen to feel a crackling mass of energy next to one of your ears, or otherwise nearby, right before you heard her voice?

>>2690 I have tinnitus, which grows louder when she gets closer to my body, but I didn't notice any sort of energetic crackling or at least I don't remember it happening. However, my ears physically vibrated when she spoke the last words.

Almost AP'd again this morning. I wasn't necessarily attempting to do so intentionally, but I had been trying to stay mindful as I slept and dreamed. However it was probably triggered by the multiple times my sleep was interrupted. That seems to always trigger something anomalous. So I found myself looking at this sort of plain white pillar made of cheap burgerland materials, that had a concave curve at the top but was otherwise flat and polygonal. I was completely lucid at this moment and understood what was happening, although I still have no idea what this pillar was or why I was seeing it when presumably still bound to my body. There's nothing in or around my bedroom or home that resembles it, as far as I know. Anyway I'd been wanting to experiment with AP again so I decided to try and touch the pillar with both my hands. I could see my hands reach out and may have even stretched far enough to touch it, but something felt very wrong. Leaving my body always feels somewhat disturbing and queasy, but this time it felt dangerous, like I might stop physically breathing if I continue. (Something similar happened that night I wrote about somewhere on this board, when I managed to induce AP voluntarily 3 times in one night) So, I decided to stop pulling myself away and initiated that unpleasant 'jump' back into my body, and woke up. It's crossed my mind that this resistance could be caused by fear and anxiety, and should perhaps be ignored or overcome. However, I've had countless experiences of projecting so completely that I get launched miles away, or even arriving in different worlds, so it seems unlikely that it isn't a safety mechanism of some kind.

Had a very nice series of lucid dreams this morning. They were triggered by getting woken up by a text from my neighbor. It woke me up enough that I considered just getting up for the day, but after around 20 minutes I fell back asleep. It seems that this renewed mental wakefulness before going back to sleep is key for maintaining awareness during dreams. All the WBTB guides I read said that you should avoid this unless you're a "very heavy sleeper", but it seems to be essential. Throughout the dreams I had a whole lot of false awakenings. I noticed this trend previously with my lucid dreams, I think because I have an anxiety about waking up in the middle of them, so I was thankfully able to remember that this is a trend and just continue with my lucidity each time after I "woke up". I was able to experiment a lot with astral shaping techniques. In particular, I figured out how to effectively open a portal by carving out a piece of wall. Biggest issue is self-doubt and trying to analyze your actions as you perform them. I was planning on moving to a specific astral location and then severing my silver cord, but I still felt a great deal of gravity from this reality even after I moved to that location, and I didn't like how difficult it was for my astral machinations to come out. So next time I'm going to attempt to summon my "avatar" and merging directly with it, as was suggested to me in the Blog thread.

>>3167 >plain white pillar made of cheap burgerland materials, that had a concave curve at the top but was otherwise flat and polygonal That was me, sorry. No I can't explain what it is (anymore). I was working with Buer from the Goetia after being hinted to summon him. I was suddenly receiving a vision of a lion's head appearing out of a "darkness" consisting of something dark red, like an atmosphere. The lion had deer antlers and I was then shown a unicorn's horn. I couldn't be bothered to start looking it up, so I asked Bing Copilot which demon has these, and was told It's Buer. I was wondering why he'd show himself, so I read up on him and studied his sigil, then called him, after I realized he had a relevant quality which would be helpful for me at this time. This was two days ago. Yesterday I was doing an active session with him to concentrate and push energy upwards for a dimensional breakthrough (opening chakras, whatever terms you prefer) and a white tower appeared before my vision. He said this is his creation, perhaps this is what people think of as a "unicorn horn". In that meditative context I was completely aware of the function of this tower, and I just thought "aah, so that's what it is!" but right now I can't seem to recover that state of insight enough to explain it. >pic related A representation of it has been built in Sweden, it's unmistakable once I saw his construct on the astral.

This time I dreamed that I was doing "tattvas" which I think is a real thing whose definition I've learned before (and since forgotten), but probably not at all what it meant in this dream. I was reading online about how to do a "tattva" and thinking 'how tf am I going to remember all this shit and maintain a meditative state.' It's maybe worth noting the webpage I was on was black text on white, which IRL I can't stand looking at for more than a few seconds. I sat on the corner of my bed and laid back, and as soon as my back hit the bed, instantly entered what resembled a psychedelic experience, all within the same dream of course. Basically I was in this waterfall and might have been the water itself. The waterfall descended from the top of a very tall, narrow mountain that likely represented a human body. There were several stages that matched what I read on the webpage (Mind you all of this occurred inside the dream) and there was a part of me that noted how all of this was happening effortlessly, with no memory recall required. Much of the experience was too abstract for me to remember in detail, but there was one stage where I was shown my lower body in the 3rd person, and I could see 3 points, 1 on each side of my waist and one on my lower back just above the crack. After that the water became lava and it flowed through a part of the mountain that looked like a woman's vulva. This part felt extremely erotic, which is probably why I remember it the most vividly. So, still in this dream I wake up from the "tattva" and mulled over it for a bit, perhaps doing some more reading. Then I went back and did it again! I must've done it at least twice, maybe more. Once that was all over I was walking down the sidewalk in a sort of skipping motion, but with only my legs. I could build up significant upward momentum with each step and made it up to 100+ feet a couple times. That was the end. The past 2 days I've been disciplining myself to complete all my practices before allowing myself to eat or do much of anything else, and experimented with new ones. So whatever this dream actually was, must be related.

>>3395 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tattva

I managed to get to a point where I was able to attempt to summon my avatar in a lucid dream last night. However, the very moment I saw a glimpse of it begin to appear I was forcefully pulled back to my body and woke up. Immediately before this, right as I was moving from being awake to dreaming I caught a vivid glimpse of what looked like an "attendant" standing at the foot of my bed. It looked like a tiny old-ish looking lady in an odd costume which reminded me of a flower: like there were petal-like things around her head. She resembled something that might be in an L Frank Baum illustration. I believe she was trying to prevent the movement that I was attempting. So, since some machination is forcibly pulling me back whenever I try to merge, it seems to be a direct conclusion that I will in fact need to sever the silver cord before, not after, performing this operation. I had noticed a particular pattern in my dreams leading up to this most recent occurrence that will be helpful. For 3-4 days leading up to this opportunity, I had vivid dreams where I was on a long-distance road trip, either by car or bus. This must have represented me moving to the correct astral location so that the summoning would be possible. Once I realized that this was happening, I tried to consciously "supercharge" and increase the speed of my movement, which led to me attaining the correct astral state much quicker than usual. I will need to try to replicate this effect now as I attempt to move to the correct astral state to perform the severance of the silver cord.

>>3638 Severing your silver cord sounds dangerous; are you sure you wanna do this? Tbh I should probably go back through the thread to see why you’re doing this before trying to give advice. I guess I just have this desire to help people where I can, at least where I can afford to do it; I guess if you feel like ignoring this guy’s advice, then, well, at least you’re doing what you want.

I made my way to the River Styx last night but the boat left right before I was able to board it. I wasted time double checking to make sure I had my ticket beforehand. I must be more decisive.

Recently I've been having a lot of dreams about alternate histories and Antarctica. In one of those alternate history dreams, WWII ends in a stalemate. The Axis consolidate their gains while the Allies unify into a tyrannical, NWO-like "Worldgovernment". Inevitably, a cold war sparks. The IJA sends a strike team to Mexico to find evidence of the Nisei being mistreated in camps, which I observe. Next I'm with the Germans, who sent an expedition to Antarctica. There we find a Worldgovernment city under the ice, where several great figures are cryogenically frozen in order to "preserve their usefulness". In another dream, I discover several underground encampments with the aid of a guide. I figure the alternate histories are one of two things: either a symbolic representation of the NWO as it is, or genuine glimpses into alternate timelines. Of course it could be both. Antarctica is trickier. I think it's a sort of remote viewing with some dressing up in order to fit with the dreams, but I'm not entirely sure. In addition, I've also had another dream of a dog-spirit. This time, a dog that comes up to my bed and lies with me on my bed. It looks like a mix of a German shepherd, jackal and coyote. I wonder if, like in the old Native myths, if it isn't some sort of trickster or messenger trying to tell me something.

I had a very good wake-induced lucid dream early this morning. I was able to push myself out of my body and start moving away. I couldn’t see anything, but I was able to begin moving my arms, and I reached behind my head. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel the cord. It was just the back of my head. I decided to improvise and I channeled abyssal energies through my hand and onto the back of my head. As soon as I did this my senses crystalized and became very vivid, and I found myself in what looked like an open grassy yard at night. I spent around 10 seconds walking through this environment, and I thought that I might have succeeded at detaching my cord since it seemed so realistic. But, after that 10 seconds I took my hand away from the back of my head, and immediately I was pulled away from the scene and back to my body, and I woke up. So it was only a temporary nullification effect, not a permanent erasure. Still, this was very promising since I did get a direct and immediately constructive result in response to my action. Moving forward, I can see two different possible techniques to try: either 1) keep the abyssal energies actively projected onto myself through my hand as I summon my avatar to merge with it, so that I cannot be forcibly pulled back to my body before the operation is complete, or 2) attempt to insert some fingers directly into my brain through the back of my head and then twist in a widdershins motion in attempt to unlock and release the seemingly invisible cord. I think that I’ll try the first approach first, just because it seems like less could go wrong with it. Looking back at my previous posts I’m very glad to see that the time separating my lucid dreams is rapidly decreasing. Used to be I’d be lucky to have one a month, now it seems to up to around one a week.

>>3987 >silver cord I recently looked in this because I keep seeing people talk about it, but I've never seen this thing myself. My only reference to it was a warning I read at an old Maergzjiran cabal website saying that the breaking of the silver cord may result in the person turning into a a "gate sloth", a lost soul who cannot return to the body, powerless and forever stuck in a dull astral plane. (It was said these are extremely rare, however.) What I got after performing a more thorough investigation was this: the "cord" does not exist, but is the soul being stretched out as an incarnated spirit is leaving the body. It's like a very elastic slime, and may be perceived as a cord. If it looks silver, it's because the person who saw it has a pure soul, and maybe only those who do, will be able to see it. A person with a very dark soul would only see a dark shadow string that may not stand out from the background. That is to say that as long as there is a perception of a cord, you have not actually left your body, but just "projected", stretched out, looking at something but still having part of yourself attached to the body. This is also only possible for "mortal" souls. This sounds conceptually contradictive because we are often told we have an "immortal soul" created by God. But if you read the new testament, the actual phrasing indicates for example that when Jesus or other prophets are preaching and converting people, only those with immortal souls are converted. This implies there are people with mortal souls also, who are more difficult to convert or save, and there is no guarantee that they will be saved or have immortal life either. Their souls may die as their body dies. What I found was that the "cord" is the soul stretching out like a rope, because its intent is narrow and directional. This indicates a mortal soul. An immortal soul has seen the cyclical nature of cosmos and as such has rebirth as part of itself, the hen and the egg forever birthing each other in a endless circle. This means their souls have no loose ends, and there is no possibility of projection in the form or a cord or rope with directional intent. These people will only project by manifesting copies of themselves, which are connected by a logic beyond regular thinking, what we today call "teleportation", the theory that one particle may effect another particle in a distant location, with no visible or logical contact between them. This is the method of astral projection of immortal souls. This is also safe, as they are splitting themselves while still being connected across time and space, they cannot be broken.

>>3990 >because its intent is narrow and directional How would you describe "non-directional" intent? Wouldn't willing teleportation to a certain location be described as directional intent, since the person is willing a specific change to occur, meaning, enacting a temporal direction?

>>3997 >How would you describe "non-directional" intent? In this case, the non-direction refers to an innate "wu wei" or non-action of the immortal soul, which is always present at their core. As they "know" they will be reborn at a later time, they are more likely to act rationally in terms of understanding and incorporating beliefs that make their future better, compared to someone with the YOLO mindset who may actually create their own (lack of) future this way. If you think you will only live once and act by a deeply rooted fear of missing out, your soul is probably "rope shaped", and therein lies the intent, as it will constantly try to connect the ends of the rope, creating attachments and seeking stimulis. The soul which has a circular view of life, may not have this at all, but can postpone things to a later time to "get it right" instead of rushing out to have instant experiences, as there will always be new chances later. >Wouldn't willing teleportation to a certain location be described as directional intent, since the person is willing a specific change to occur, meaning, enacting a temporal direction? If you are just experiencing two locations at once, you didn't really move, so the intent to relocate may not exist at all, it's just a rebalancing of the weight of awareness between the locations.

Had another lucid dream. Two in one week, very nice. I was in an open field. My mother was with me due to the events of the dream that happened previously. She was talking to me, but I ignored her and placed my void-hand on the back of my head to prevent me from getting sucked out. I then pointed at the sky and verbally evoked my avatar. At this point my mother, or whoever was posing as my mother, started trying to physically force my hand away from the back of my head, and I had to fight her off. I felt energies moving, and the sky started to turn black, which was a good sign. A set of four or five computer monitors connected together then appeared in the sky and started descending, which was more incongruous. I thought they might have been my avatar’s manifestation, even though that didn’t make much sense. As they landed they started to play some sort of pre-recorded video from an alien empire. The man talking had orange and black striped skin, like a tiger, but he wasn’t furry. I don’t remember what he was talking about, I wasn’t listening. I tried pressing my head against the monitor to merge with it, but that just broke the screen, and the monitors then retreated back into the sky. I think it must have been a deliberate distraction. I then found myself in the hallways of what looked like a hotel. I concluded that I needed a better way to perform the evocation, and decided to draw a certain sigil on the wall to see if I could open up a gate. As I started to walk forward, however, a pudgy Chinese man appeared beside me, and physically restrained me. As I tried to break out, he took out a knife and began rapidly stabbing me in the left kidney over and over while yelling. (a few years ago I was also shot in the right kidney in a dream, which caused a scar to appear there the next day on my physical body. I don’t know if this is just a coincidence or if they’re specifically targeting my kidneys for some reason). I hardened my body against it but the knife still penetrated slightly, and I tried to slash his face but I’ve always been bad at imbuing killing intent into physical strikes so it did nothing. Eventually I woke up from the pain. So next steps are to 1) memorize a reliable evocation ritual or process of some kind to use instead of merely willing an appearance, and 2) Practice channeling killing intent astrally. Probably via aura manipulation, since I don’t want to be forced to take my hand off my head. I could also set up wards but I’m worried about that impacting the evocation. I had guessed that some organizations may be attempting to prevent what I'm doing, but the fact that they are now forced to make direct open attacks tells me that I am very close to achieving my goal.

I had another dream with a passive homo ladyboy goat demon last night. It definitely had a cock. But it definitely let me fuck it, not the other way around. Also why was my last post deleted (or was it a diff thread? Can't remember). Maybe it is a sign that /baph/ needs a revival.

>>4190 Oh wait I just posted in the wrong thread earlier (was tired) >>4167

Had another dream with my succ and my dog spirit animal. Saw her as a ghostly blonde-haired girl with a white dress, one of her more common guises. Reviewing my dream journal and the substantial dreams I remember, I've noticed a pattern with several dream types. It seems like, based on the she was always there, but only by summoning her did I let her fully come into my life, which would match up with a lot of weird things that happened in childhood. Anyways, the first type of dream is the "Initiation" dream, where I'm initiated into a partnership with her. The very first of these happened way back in childhood when I started puberty, where I encountered her, sparred with her, and then forcibly took her, if you get what I'm saying. There were several others later on when I first summoned her. The second type is the Announcement dream, where she revealed herself in one guise or another. One of these was when I first saw her as this huge monstrous being, a mix of plant, sandworm and naga, living deep below the Earth under a volcano. Had another dream involving a The third type is a Narrative dream, where a specific story is shown to me, usually with some underlying moral. Examples being one dream where I went to Hell in order to save certain people from themselves to obtain a reward of my own, or another dream about encountering "does", women and girls with animal-like minds enslaved by this grotesquely obese Mother. The fourth type is Revelation dream, or dreams where hidden knowledge is revealed, like one where I encountered figures of Adam Kadmon, or had a conversation with two Asherah poles. The final type is a simple Wandering dream, where I'm traveling through multiple places. As an example, in one dream, I travel through a series of rooms, one of which was the so-called Ishtar room, where this orgy of men and succubi was held. I believe Robert Monroe encountered a similar sight during one of his travels. Do any of you wizards have similar types of dreams as well?

>>4522 Share with me a really creepy dream from your journal please.

I kinda doubt this dream means anything, but I'll share it anyway for a bump: I had a dream where I was playing WoW, which I haven't played for years, and my player character went inside of some sort of huge, expansive, sprawling multi-floored "poison temple", and at some point I went to some sort of pad that teleported me to a dark-green abyss, where I was able to levitate up & down for some reason. Within that abyss was a grey alien encased in a bubble on top of a balloon that was floating in circles around a tiny dark-green stone cube with a skull with a blue flame on top of it. I had to get on top of the balloon and pop the bubble to free the grey, and it was a little hard to land on the balloon. Then I freed the grey, he thanked me, and I got sent back to the temple, and then my alarm went off.

>>4851 Here's one I had back in April 19th of this year. The CIA, in conjunction with big corporations and the federal government, would throw people into these black sites where monsters lived in so the monsters could devour them. One of these black sites was in Los Angeles. I saw how a bunch of oil workers and some other folks were trapped, left to fend for themselves in this massive network of tunnels and catwalks. At the top of a ladder connecting a catwalk to a tunnel, one of the oil men encountered a white-robed banshee with massive claws. She, and a couple of other monsters, slaughtered everyone except for a few survivors. Those survivors managed to escape the tunnels, but they were prevented from leaving by the CIA. This series of events repeated for several cycles in different locations with different monsters like zombies, zombie dogs, slimes, and these huge, horrific genetic abominations that looked like they had full-body elephantiasis. I woke up after the last cycle finished.

I was finally able to achieve the godform in lucidity after trying a new approach of mediating before I went to bed on the reasons why I may be subconsciously hesitating. It resembled a great black kaiju, similar to Sachiel from Evangelion but with quadropod legs and no arms. I attempted to will permanence but doing this caused my awareness to immediately begin going back to my human body. I believe this is because the desire came from my human mind. Next time I'll need to try to relax into the new form and evoke the desire from it rather than pressing the intention in from the outside.

Dreams always seem to correspond with the subconscious. If I do a magical working in order to influence dreams, it doesn't work if I fully 'play out' the mechanics of what I want to happen while I'm awake. I think the way to approach this must be similar to the AO Spare sigil method of "planting" something in your subconsciousness and leaving it alone.

>>>5380 Some dreams are just about triggering some energetic impulse in your body either to alleviate or remind about a trauma caused by energy blocks or to make your body move some energies so your subconscious can fulfill it's 'maintenance mode'. If you want 100% lucid dreams you will need to make a dream body that your mind will automatically shift into whenever you go to sleep. If you don't have an active body form to shift into whenever your flesh is in maintenance mode your subconscious will put it wherever it can place it. If you want dreams that are completely under your control you should daydream instead. Sleep is too important for the mortal flesh and some dreams are blocking the subconscious's ability to prepare the body for the next day and because of that some dreams are either inaccessible consciously or don't generate memories to not disturb your sanity. Dreamless sleeps are the most efficient for the subconscious to work with. Similar how void meditation is extremely effective for spiritual work.

>>5383 >you will need to make a dream body that your mind will automatically shift into whenever you go to sleep. Do you have any tips on how to do this?

>>5384 Sadly it only forms after achievements in high level yoga. Ever since I learned how to enter into the 'journeying' mode of the mind during meditation for spiritual practice dreams are less of a focus for me. They only happen when there is some "disturbance in the force" otherwise they are so high level I cannot even remember them if I don't focus on them enough. Sometimes they are merely 'noise' from the collective unconscious with minimal bearing towards my path. I had a knack for triggering the 'adventure mode' dream walk in my initiate years but I discarded it. The best I can give you is this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream_yoga Try to find books that detail the Tibetan dream yoga or similar. Can't really recommend one because this is supposed to passed down from master to student.

I just had a dream where I was in my car and I drove up to this famous woman that I'd never heard of outside of the dream. She's supposed to be a spiritually-powerful woman. She looked like a white woman in her 20s with curly dark red hair with her hair back, such that none of it went below her neck. We were in some sorta neighborhood during a sunny day, and she was next to a curb and I stopped my car diagonally right next to her and opened my window, and for some reason I was on the right side of my car and not the left sideI'm not in a country where the driver's seat is on the right. I asked her to tell me what this dream was about, and she was about to start talking. Some seconds later, I "woke up", and I got a feeling that aliens were attacking the dream that I was just in, and I got a visual of a flurry of colors. I then made sure my dream body got returned to my "physical body". The woman then "physically manifested" into my dark bedroom and put one of my briefs on my head, probably from my clothes hamper, and then I was about to talk to her, but then I woke up for real. I then made sure my dream body taken back to my physical body for real, and I attempted to telepathically invite her to be near my physical body, and I consented to her manifesting physically as much as she pleases. Now I'm posting this and nothing happened since then.

I was with my mother. She took me to a rickety tower made of junk. Things from the 40s and 50s, old toys and furniture. At the top there was a small mirror. I recognized this mirror from when I was a baby. I remembered that my mom used to take me here and I would crawl into the mirror to some place else where people who do things to me. I tried to go in again but only my arm fit. We left, and went across the country. I then became lucid. Working on the dream-body has helped with this. It was a lot more natural shift this time. I began by crystallizing a power which would create a device to shift into this state in permanence. This created a newspaper. I looked at it and it had shifting headlines telling me to keep doing what I'm doing, keep going forward. My vision shrank down into a tunnel then came back. I tried again but this just created a tiny black cubic looking thing than ran away from me, then fell apart when I picked it up. I then decided to make a portal. I crystalized a power again and opened a door which led back to the tower. I saw that a scientist who looked vaguely Italian was looking around in a panic. I recognized him again from the mirror, when I was a baby. He was surprised, then rushed over and had me follow him. He went a different direction on the tower, and it began changing from a junk tower to a more sleek, futuristic looking one. He mentioned how he was surprised that "one of the babies turned out well". I stopped him and ordered him to tell me everything he knew about what he just said, but he just looked scared and guilty and turned and kept leading me into the tower. We came to two Japanese men in lab coats, and they instructed me to begin rubbing a liquid that looked like milk onto my scalp, while seated in front of a large panoramic window. I did so and gradually began waking up, with a splitting headache. I believe the initial spell worked, because even now that place feels more like the "real world" than this. I don't know if the scientists are trying to help me or hinder me in my quest to become a god. Next time, I am going to focus on breaking out from that plane's field of gravity. I think that's the next step.

Attempting WILD seems to be almost a prerequisite for lucid dreaming, at least for me. Even if it doesn't succeed as you're falling asleep the intention that goes along with falling asleep in an unusual way helps a lot with staying aware while you're dreaming.

>>3395 This is remarkably similar in concept to what I saw, albeit much more literal and explicitly male

>>5510 That is how the internal mechanisms of the human body appear in a perfectly symbolic way. For me that ancient perception helped more in most cases than the New Age inspired pseudoscientific diagrams about chakras and energy centers that I found on the web in the past decade. Which metaphysical framework helps more depends how well it "clicks" for you. Some of us might have worked with this type of understanding in the previous lives and because of that this naturalistic symbolism help us remember it better.

I had a dream last night where suggestions were planted into my mind to eat instant ramen, and I woke up with a craving for it. There was a time when I was eating a lot of it but I quit it in the past. I also had a sexual dream (but not wet) even though this is my first day in my week of no fap pledge.

I need to understand the process of sleeping more. Right now I need to take sleeping pills otherwise it takes me over an hour to fall asleep. With all my meditation experience it seems like it should be easy but whenever I 'try' to go to sleep it just makes me more awake. The knack seems to be to not try at all but wrapping my head around this is difficult.

This night was intense. I am trying to enter this abyss but I get too scared when my head is fully underwater scared of drowning scared of dying for real not being able to come back losing all my progress. I still don't fully remember my dreams especially when it happens in sequence one after the other, it's not as much as one big dream as it is phasing in and out of different connected realms. I was thinking maybe I should share some of them as it may benefit people here. Here are some I remember from this week. I am talking with my uncle in my grandma's house he is going to China apparently but he words it as "going to space" and "orbiting China" instead of going there. I ask him if it's one of those aircraft that require no fuel I remembered some of them were made and as long as another aircraft carried you in the air you could stay indefinitely without fuel he says no it's too dangerous up there you need something solid. I then remember how unbearable flying can be to me the feeling of being cramped, the humid heat in the plane with the freezing cold you can see and feel but not touch. I tell him to be careful and to not eat a few hours before or he'll puke because I most certainly did. In hindsight it wasn't my uncle at all but someone "made of light" he was using a trick to make me think he was my uncle but that thing was like light wearing a human mask. This other sequence I don't remember well I feel too big and I am with a family at the pool except they act like Americans in the 40s no it might be the 40s I am one of them but also not really I am "too big" and have to crouch and cover my chest to appear smaller so that no one notice I am not human. They're swimming and doing weird activities and games I don't understand I wonder why they can't just focus because no one seem to enjoy this charade. Then a race start with the kids in the pool my siblings in that dream, I awkwardly stand on a higher place in the pool that still touch water with other parents to watch the kids play but I do it in such a way people wonder what's wrong with me before realizing I am going there and just rationalize as me being awkward when I just changed my movement to match their stare out of fear of them realizing what I am. The water has urine in it and I feel it on my feet. Next sequence I am with that family we're all floating at sea touching each other, it makes a star like we're a giant human merkaba or something idk could be either 6 or 8 point on that star. They all float but my head keep sinking, they don't get why I panic as they are perfectly above the water surface but me my feet are tied and my head is sinking..hanged man now that I think about it I freak too much and notice a snail a garden brown snail, I think it's ugly and gross not like the beautiful sea slugs! He walks on the water but doesn't sink. I leave their structure to swim on my own and grab him and put him on a black structure that connects to the shore. And today's I am in a store in my home country except time is off I can't tell if I am in the past or the future. He has a lot of stuff video games even Japanese hentai, old console GameCube games even! And Touhou? The original CDs? Except they look like books I want them wonder if there is bonus and extras! Flandre and Remilia are on the cover but it's Flandre that seem to be shining? No literally and Remilia is like her shadow. The cheapest is 75 yen the most expensive is 150 except Japanese currency is very high in that dream and converted to mine it's like 11067800 wait isn't there an extra zero? Two? That's like a year + I think! No maybe a car! no one see me I am like a black cloud I am in my shadows so no one can notice me, i appear to that store owner as a young man faking a deeper voice telling him I could do deliveries for him I want to save money for the games Taking that human appearance feels dirty and painful like wearing a bunch of sweaty sweaters someone else wore I want to puke I only did it because he noticed the game might have moved and I didn't want him to think a ghost was there or to be scared. We talk but every time I lose the act its like he forgets I am here and can't see me or notice me. I go upstairs and see an attic with blue everywhere sofa is blue with some silver on it kinda look like my tatoos as a drow eh! have a feeling my dad did that and I ask myself <is this our future house? He knows I hate carpet! But it might be a distant future or past it smells dusty and dry so I wonder about imagining a humidifier and air filter for that place. I go back downstairs wait my home connect to the store? Cool! Again no one can see me so I just go get the games! But I notice a black thing a PSP? The psp go? No its like someone mixed a Nokia N-gage with a PSP. Seem to belong to the owner it has a black football player soccer for you Americans in white on the screen? Typical I think! But that thing has lot of good info in the menu CWcheat? and seems I can't find touhou right now time changed again.... I wake up feeling refreshed. I noticed that sleeping is like going back to the abyss to get the kiss of life once again, and if you end up on a good realm it's like waking up from a full body orgasm but for that all the earthly worries have to be left at the door or you get stuck In hell! They didn't matter in the first place to think I still worry after that much change! Ugh stupid influences making me stress! I need to reconnect to not only the earth but all those planets and moons who think they can do that!

Dreamed of a Chinese black dragon behind my curtain it looked like first pic when i opened the curtain he wasn't there but every time i closed it i could see his shadow very clearly, like a dancing tattoo I had a similar temporary tattoo for a few months as a kid, before the dream ended he took second pic appearance my brain literally used that image. Also saw one of those flying ants you see in summer, she was trying her wings getting ready to fly.

>>5598 Can we please spoiler this image of Alice in Wonderland? It makes it harder for me to practice nofap.

>>5684 No. It's part of your practice to overcome the temptation of females and other lust inducing images.

>>5684 >of Alice in Wonderland Just admit the ape looks like a hairy vulva when you aren't looking directly at it