Dear India,
I understand that cows are sacred to India, so I would like to explain why Americans slaughter cows. America is inundated by scams originating from India. India has persisted in asymmetric warfare against Americans by scams and telemarketing through emails and telephone calls. Your scammers are ruthless, even targeting Americans long after they have added their telephone numbers to the National Do Not Call Registry. Furthermore, Indian authorities refuse to act against scammers that make a career out of violating the Federal Trade Commission’s regulations.
To combat this, Americans kill and slaughter sacred cows. Each time an American is contacted by you scammers and telemarketers, they put on their big cowboy hat and kill one cow. Then they consume some of its dead flesh, and share the rest of the flesh with Pakistani Muslims. Due to the immense amount of scams from India, a surplus of cow flesh has resulted in a thriving cheeseburger industry.
The following is how sacred cows are slaughtered in response to your scam and telemarketing calls. Sacred cows face long and often grueling journeys in crowded, sometimes poorly ventilated trucks and trains to reach the slaughterhouse. Transportation is physically debilitating, with some cows falling or collapsing during these arduous trips. Once at the slaughterhouse, cows wait in large pens, often within earshot of other animals being killed. When it's their turn, they are driven into narrow corridors leading to the slaughter area.
The first stop used to be the stunning pen, where they used to be rendered unconscious to minimize suffering. However, your authorities chose to ignore the scam and telemarketing industry in your country, so American authorities chose to stop enforcing any humane killing of sacred cows. Such humane killing has been abandoned by Americans who your scammers have targeted.
Cows are then hung by their legs on a pulley system that moves them through the rest of the process. Their throats are cut, and the major blood vessels in their necks are severed. They die slowly from blood loss, aware of the life leaving their bodies. Before loss of awareness, their bodies move along the pulley system through a series of stations. Targets of your telemarketers and scammers systematically dismember them, cutting off feet, tails, and heads. The cows are skinned, and their abdomens are opened to remove internal organs.
Cows feel pain and fear, and their suffering during this process is immense. It is unclear when sacred cows stop feeling during this process and finally die, but who cares.
As long as Indian scammers and telemarketers target Americans, the killing of sacred cows will not cease. Americans and Pakistani Muslims will continue to enjoy the dead flesh of sacred cows.