Had another deep experience the other day, almost ruined my social life. Need to vent.
The other day I got a haircut for the first time in ages, and at the moment I was kinda sad because long hair is just innately more fem. I didn't request a specific haircut, just told the hairdresser to give me something that he thought would look good. Keep in mind - I'm male presenting during all other aspects of my life besides kink. If you see me at a coffee shop, other coomer-brains would probably peg me as someone who would like to get pegged, but I'm otherwise not outed.
So, I had noticed over time that the hallucinogenic effect
>>407 I was getting from clothes was less present in previous sessions, so I decided to smoke more while taking an edible this time. It still didn't take me as deep as I had gone in previous sessions months ago, but I still went pretty deep.
I of course started with shaving (which has elevated to a weekly routine) and doing a shallow clean before putting my HTV5 (knockoff) keys in a storage closet outside of my condo so that I couldn't unlock until I came down from the high - no escape via PNC alone.
Once dressed up, I took some zinc pills - this is for more semen production, but mostly because I have somehow convinced weed-me that they're my 'girl mode pills', and that I can let loose after swallowing them. I get fully dressed up including my fake tits, skirt and thigh highs, heels, prostate massager, cage, choker, etc. An asian version of Skylar737, in goth mode. I'm not well versed in makeup yet, so I don't have any on but lipstick. At this point, I'm fully dressed up and ready to goon to hypno for the next ~3 hours.
So, there's this girl I've been hung up over for what feels like ages, that I've recently managed to get back in touch with. We talk day to day, but nothing serious.
At some point while gooning, she messages me. I can't mentally respond at this point, so I don't open the message, but otherwise my mind is completely unprepared for this. It's then that I have a realization - that I was dressed in a way that was exactly like I imagined her in my mind's eye, with the same colour of red lipstick, and the kicker - that my hairdresser had inadvertently given me her exact same haircut from her facebook profile. I realize that I have been inadvertently feminizing myself to BE HER.
I have this realization and it hits me HARD. I look in my full body mirror and I can't shake this realization. My mind melts and I become her - her name overwriting my own in my mind. I have to see the visual comparison - I open messenger and I go to her profile, wanting to zoom in on her face - i tap and tap and tap to try for a larger picture, but it won't grow any larger.
It is only after tapping on her face for a solid 10 seconds that I snap out of it and realize that the profile picture on messenger is literally half an inch away from the 'start a video call' button. christ - talk about dodging a fucking bullet.
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