I do some pretty heinous shit when I'm by myself. Some is just weird masturbation stuff that I'd never tell anyone about, and other things DO affect other people but I'm careful about it so they never know. But outwardly, I'm a relatively successful dude, get along well with my family and coworkers, and seem to be an upstanding person. So most of my life I've had this guilt that "I'm not who people think I am," and I do struggle to accept kindness from others, because I think they wouldn't like me if they knew. And I don't think I'm incorrect in that assumption, but what I HAVE begun to wonder is how unusual is it really to be this way? Not an FBI thread and I'm not trying solicit any confessions here. But I'm just thinking, I only truly know myself and I'm only assuming others are more well adjusted. But really I would never know, just like they don't know about me. Am I all that weird to be living a secret life of outward and inward debauchery? Or is it pretty common and we all just keep it to ourselves?