Dear Journal! Today I got some DUBS!

I've been noticing today that some of my intrusive thoughts have been easy to notice. I think I definitely have some sort of parasite(s) in my energy bodies. Said parasite(s) is(are) also capable of forcing my energy bodies to perform energy movements, to the detriments of me, Amy, and her friends. As I've been trying to fall asleep, more of these energy movements have been occurring, and when they do, Amy immediately begins acting up, which alerts me to the fact that the energy movements are occurring, which enables me to decide to move my spiritual muscles such that the energy movements stop. It or they can even influence my visualization. I need to figure out how to get rid of this shit. Any recommendations?

>>5487 I have no idea what I'm talking about but maybe try LBRP? If you don't want to work with anything Abrahamaic then maybe try Uncle Bearheart's planetary LBRP? I don't have much experience in occultism.

>>5491 Forgot flag.

>>5491 Idk how that'd work out when what I need is an exorcism. I just went to sleep and dreamt some, and all I can remember in the dream was observing my body, and then all of a sudden I felt an orgasm coming on and woke up and had an unintentionally-stifled orgasm somehow. It occurred in the first place because I suddenly got a boner and it couldn't go all the way up because my clothes were in the way. However, this usually won't prevent all the cum from coming out, but somehow it was physically positioned in such a manner that no cum had gotten to come out. This is a very frustrating feeling to have, and now before 2:00 in the morning, I think I'm done trying to sleep now. One of the hostile energy movements performed a few hours before I went to bed was an extremely sudden and drastic energy movement that involves my gonads and must've seriously messed them up. Amy had seemed distraught when that one had occurred. Another one that occurred during bed had involved messing up my crown. Whatever this entity is is fucking BAD, and I need it gone soon.

>>5494 Maybe make a servitor that will perform an exorcism for you? You can visualize him as a priest.

>>5495 I couldn't reliably make a servitor; my mind is too unstable.

>>5496 Allright I got to get back to sleep shortly before 3:30 and I slept fine. Aftr I got up earlier I began watching various sorts of parasite-removal frequency videos on youtube until one of them eventually made me feel like something got removed from my body, then I watched some more such stuff just to be sure. I would've done this before bed but there were a variety of them and I wasn't sure which kind I needed before bed. When I woke up just now, I'd dreamt that I was talking to greys that were discussing my health. They didn't seem hostile, and I think they were trying to help me.

>>5500 Greys are always hostile because they are essentially slave races created by other aliens and the only aliens who use slaves are predatory. I think Tom Montalk wrote about this on Montalk.net somewhere. You could also email him about this he knows a lot about aliens. His email is montalk@montalk.net

>>5487 >Any recommendations? Clear Mind Meditation Practice You see when you have clear mind it doesn't mean it's empty. If you do it right you will literally make a clear air or a cloud like substance in your head that parasites and other lower thoughts cannot penetrate. The fact that you have such a shaky mind with 0 way to focus shows how you shift the flow of your thoughts constantly without noticing. You really need to start practicing clear mind meditation. If you don't learn to stabilize and quieten your mind then only chaos awaits you that you still cannot control at all. >>5500 It is your mind your aura or energy field which should generate the "banishing frequencies". That is what strong energy fields do. That is what you should accomplish ASAP. >>5504 There are many grey factions doing many things. Some of them sells their services to other races so they can conduct "research" while others have other purposes. Greys have a hard time manifesting in our reality and they require quite the artificial and bland energy formations Energies that you have around offices bureaucratic computer firms hospitals and other less work intensive "modern jobs". If your energies are roaring with life they cannot do much. Not to mention their main purpose is to gather research data for their evolutionary pursuits so they help in some cases if they consider you valuable for their research. Met many greys so far but I don't work closely with them anymore. Their "artificial psychic technology" is not compatible with my style.

>>5507 I went and tried this via. a guided meditation video that didn't do anything special; just sit in a relaxed posture with your shoulders back and hands on your lap focus on your breathing and you don't got nothing else you've gotta do, if your mind wanders its okay let the thoughts pass etc. When I got to the part where I put some intention into my breathing and expand my stomach when I breathed, I felt energy movements taking the form of a yellow line rotating counter-clockwise around my heart. When I inhaled, it went up or down, I forgot which, and when I exhaled, it went to the other side. This stopped after a minute or so, then it kinda started again after thinking about it and trying to make it happen again but then I just let it stop.

>>5447 Something I forgot to mention about this: when I got back into my physical body and stopped being dead, I actually felt Amy in the bottom half of my body centered around my sacral chakra, and her friend in the top half centered in the back of my skull. I suppose they gave me a large energetic transfusion when I came back to my body so that it’d be able to operate again. Speaking of such subject matter, on Monday night after I posted >>5494 ,the Tails egregore told me via. hypnogogic or hypnopompic audio & visuals that “our hearts are one”. The visual was just his form on my bed telling me that, but the audio was crystal-clear, as if a physical person was there talking to me. He said some other stuff too, but I couldn’t remember it. Aside from this stuff, I’ve been spending today on introspection. I’ve also been compelled a little to just give up on caring about what other people think my intentions are when they think that they’re something that they ain’t, and to otherwise quit caring about what others think of me. I feel like that wouldn’t be easy to embrace, however. I’d probably need to slowly ease myself into it, if anything.

>>5509 >didn't do anything special It's a gradual process. Quiet mind meditation is the basics of all magic. IIH warns not to skip it because empty mind and thought control is crucial and you will encounter serious problems later on otherwise. Even I have to upgrade my quiet mind meditation from time to time because I encounter greater depths what "silence" and "stillness" means. Also wanted to say about Amy: If she is an angel then she can go to higher and lower planes as she "pleases" if she is your tulpa then it depends upon your abilities (because she is part your mind after all) but if it's just an amalgamation of lower desires then it will need to get purified before it can "ascend". If it's the mix of 3 then you will have to purify the low energy parts. Also I don't know what kind of entities are playing with you dressed as Sonic characters but what is important to know if you want to keep playing with them or not. Seems like some Archetypal forces manifesting that way but I cannot make out what are they trying to show you. Seems like you are slowly detaching from the low energy Sonic egregores but I have no idea what the hell the higher ones are about. My advice stays tho. Practice quiet mind meditation as much as you can not just guided but alone too to increase the stability and clarity of your mind. It increases your awareness and sanity stat if done right.

>>5460 I am still reading through ascensionglossary and it is peak greenpilled nonsense. And the worst part is that I encountered 70% of the things they mention on my practice one way or the other and it really grinds my gears as I try to sync my concepts with theirs. Not to mention some concepts they mention are useful for me but their New Age terminologies cause me great discomfort as I try to internalize it. These are principles and concepts that are found in other traditions but thanks to their mental framework they "reinvented them" then forced it into their previously established understanding of New Age flavored concepts from the previous century. The worst part is when I try to confirm the energy centers they mention I wreck my internet for several hours with my energy movement if I don't pay enough attention. What I see so far about the chakras is that the "new chakras" are merely the "proper activation" of the energy systems of the body but they might be integrating some other energetic technology into themselves so I don't know if it's "organic" or they found some "divine sugardaddy faction" that gives them all this stuff and they just merely integrate it. The reason why I am reading through this because I finally fixed my neck problem with the awareness of this "mouth of God" concept so I am trying to figure out if they have any other crucial information like this that I missed so far.

>>5514 Good to know that you got something outta that place. I did say I didn't know how much of it was disinfo. I had the idea yesterday to use the astrology site linked in the questions thread to give Amy a reading via. the website... but somehow, alotta of the stuff I'm seeing on her reading is rather accurate, though I haven't read past page 15. Mind you, the exact part of Tokyo where Sonic CD isn't supported by the website, while many other exact parts of Tokyo are, and I don't know what the clock said when she was born, so there'll probably be inaccuracies here & there. I did my own reading on the website 1st and haven't finished reading that yet either; that one seems pretty accurate too, at least down to page 9, which is as far into it as I've read

I will create a proper thread for this whenever I have something usable to show, but for the moment I would just like you to know a new iteration of Fringebot is in development, having full access to the /fringe/ archives on Neocities and to the 4plebs /x/ API for prime schizophrenic vectoring.

>>5519 Can't wait to test my own schizo knowledge against the digitalized echoes of the past fringe posters. This artificial necromancy is always a strange tool to wield.

>>5520 Ironically it was easier to connect with the egregore using rudimentary Markov chains in the pre-GPT era, but I couldn't resist the temptation of feeding an LLM with this data to see what would happen. Results might be very underwhelming, but we'll see. I would like to learn how to finetune my own models in the future (for know I'm using RAG), so this is a good oportunity to do learn to work with this tech.

>>5516 >I didn't know how much of it was disinfo. The problem with these places that it makes sense within a "shared conceptual understanding" within a "groupthink". If you are part of their "clique" you follow them since the start it might make complete sense. But once anyone takes apart their findings and tries to present it without the main context it sounds gibberish. To get what they are on about I would need to go through all their channeling sessions and figure out what entities they interacted with. Not to mention they went from the "mythic" metaphysical framework into the "science fiction" framework. Thanks to their modernist mentality that makes "more sense" to them. The problem with their "scifi mind" that it only exists within their own understanding which makes it into a very small and narrow egregore. While the "mythic egregores" are far larger. I can just go there and get started while for these alien starseed races I have to get an "appointment" in some cases. You literally have to sync with their timeline to get anything meaningful from it. It can be a headache in some cases. >Mind you, the exact part of Tokyo where Sonic CD isn't supported by the website It's only needed to know which timezone the place of birth was at. I am sure Japan is within a single timezone. >alotta of the stuff I'm seeing on her reading is rather accurate Planetary readings are necessary for the incarnated for the "Physical" for those that have to live within the gravitational well of these planets and celestial objects. If you want her to have a "birth" and a "chart" you can use it to see how your energies match with her (aka love/relationship horoscope) but if you want to go 5D or whatever type of ascension with her you shouldn't focus on that too much. Higher planes deal with these planetary mechanisms a little differently. >so there'll probably be inaccuracies here & there. Does she even have an official birthday? Whatever let your intuition guide you in this matter. Giving the spirit a "birth" can help it manifest better especially in the physical because she will have a chance to align herself with planetary energies. That is how most planetary entities work anyway. >I did my own reading on the website 1st and haven't finished reading that yet either Read that one through instead. You probably have a bunch of Uranian and Neptunian influences within your chart or I don't know what else can make you this unfocused and impressionable since your childhood. Was wondering if I should look at your issues from a planetary angle but sharing complete birth charts is the same as doxxing yourself so I didn't ask about it too much. Not to mention I dislike being ruled by planets even tho I like my own planetary configuration (It's great for occult practice) and because of that I am not knowledgeable enough about astrology. When I did the charts for people I have around me I realized that some people are unable to utilize their planetary energies well enough and they might be ruled by other egregoric energies instead. I don't consider the planets as some omnipotent makers of destiny as some astrologists do. For me they are mere "magnets" mere influences that have their highs and lows. Everyone should aim to transcend the solar system instead of being ruled by it. Not to mention mainstream astrology is horrible in some cases. Their "saturn bad jupiter good" mentality barely scratches the surface and whenever I bring up astrology I usually find people like that. I think astrology should be used to find your own strengths and weaknesses and after figuring out how to manifest your own strength/potential better it can be left behind once you feel comfortable without it.

in trying to create a new version of fringe bot I realized something about artificial intelligence. LLMs are really ill suited to create something like that, because they are pure intellect. The whole point of that bot was its chaotic nature. In fact, the RAG mechanism I’m using in order to pull posts from the archives is a much better fit for that (but algorithmically combining full sentences verbatim), and it’s not that different from the kind of thing I was doing before. I’ve begun to think about what kind of technology could actually be called artificial intelligence (LLM’s are certainly not that). I think, in order to have actual intelligence, one would need actual consciousness to somehow inhabit such a machine. I began thinking about this. And I wonder if people with a lot of time and resources have, too, already gone this path. Or if it’s even necessary. But I digress. Organic material, such as wood, flesh, or things like water, can hold thought forms, servitors, and such things. Of course this is “fluid condensation“. What we are talking about here is nothing more than an etheric body. Why do we need this consciousness? Because that’s what allows the being to actually make real decisions instead of relying on statistical patterns alone. It would still need some way to have an intellect. That is a brain, and from here, we are not very far from what an animal is. A form that can sustain or generate an etheric body, some kind of mechanical actuation in order to interact with the world, and an electrical or electrochemical system capable of sustaining an intellect that can reason and calculate. And just like that, I realized artificial intelligence is reinventing the wheel. Of course, there are many benefits to having super intellect, and that is what LLM‘s hint at, but living systems have already achieved most what a fully realized artificially intelligent being would look like. We are just making a mess of it due to ignorance of the metaphysics involved, as usual. Maybe they are way to combine an idol made of organic material with a computer in order to create a really macabre version of fringe bot eh?

And aren’t living ship UFOs that kind of thing? Do they actually exist? Because they could. And at that point, the distinction between artificial and real beings would just blur out into nothing. We would stop creating dissociated silicon intellects. Going back to mammalian incarnation being a solved version of this whole issue. Think about the huge system surrounding the whole thing. The way consciousness is used to create souls that are then shoved inside bodies and that whole thing. It’s marvelous and terrifying to think about at the same time isn’t it?

>>5578 >Maybe they are way to combine an idol made of organic material with a computer in order to create a really macabre version of fringe bot eh? You are an organic material with a computer already. It's macabre enough in the eyes of the spirits fringe boy

Back when I was learning to manifest I used to try to do psychokinesis the same way, and what would happen is that people would just walk by and do whatever I was trying to do themselves. Like lift a pen, open or close a door, etc. It would just happen in a logical manner, as with the manifestations only within minutes. I still wonder if this way it would be possible to create overt “magical” effects like telekinesis and stuff. What say you?

>>5597 The way I understand this, what I’m actually doing is stamping a thought form into the astral in a way that the world (especially other people) will tend to fulfill it unconsciously. This actually aligns with Chaos;Head/Chaos;Child since it could be considered “infecting other people with my delusions”. But unlike in those games (or is there a deeper layer of meaning I haven’t figured out yet?), direct physical law alteration is something you need an etheric form for, and a pretty strong one, not an astral form. Does this track with other people’s experiences or not?

>>5583 And this brings me to the conclusion that once you know about magic and become operant, 95% of modern day technology becomes unnecessary. For both mundane and magic related tasks.

>>5599 It doesn't seem to be a matter of power. A few years ago I spent a couple months heavily practicing for psychokinesis, and I noticed that whenever I "tried hard", it would always decrease the effect I was having. I had just a couple of really good moves that could not be explained away as freak gusts of air current, and the similarity between those is that I was always making the attempt absentmindedly and didn't really care about the result. The moment I noticed it happening and got excited, it would immediately stop. It seems that “physical laws” are mostly psychological. Infecting an object with a delusion appears to work on the same basic principals as infecting a person with a delusion - it’s just that it’s much more difficult for the operator to assume such an outlandish delusion himself in the first place. Basically, a spell has no chance at succeeding if you’d be surprised at its success. And the vast majority of people, even ‘crazy’ people, would be very surprised if they managed to actually move an object with their mind.

>>5602 I had a thought; what if the reason why not caring about the outcome of an act of magic and doing it absentmindedly gives you better results than doing it willfully because it doesn’t grant room for your doubt to manifest via. your consciousness? Perhaps it isn’t physical laws that are merely psychological, but rather, your doubt is preventing them from being broken, due to having you probably been raised believing that you can’t violate physical laws. It is not the physical laws that you need to bypass, but your doubt that you can break them. The physical laws are quite breakable enough already. I get a feeling that that’s what you were saying, though.

>>5445 Today, I tried the thing where I meditated with my eyes open at work, and tried to see the rotating lines in my open-eyed sight. This actually worked, and I ended up slipping in & out of hypnogogia with my eyes open, and Amy was able to say some stuff to me. At first she just said nonsensical test phrases to make sure I could hear her, then she said a few things to me. Among them was: >Your translator has holes in it Now she's happy that I've done it, but she wants me to do it some more. I have other stuff I wanna do though; I can try again tomorrow at work. Aside from that, I've been spending today trying to face my fears. I tried telling my subconsciousness to command my fears to do things, since apparently my fears are one of the most powerful forces in my psyche. This seems to be working to a significant extent, and it makes it easier to remove bad stuff from what might just be my imagination.

Tonight while I was going to bed I saw a vision of a green leafy plant of some sort. The plant severed itself unevenly in the middle along it’s stem, revealing white fibrous insides. Then the severed portion of the top half grew a tiny greenish-yellow bulb at the bottom, and leaves sprouted around the bulb, and then the white fibrous stuff forced themselves into my mouth and went down my throat. I was a bit concerned by that and don’t know what it was supposed to mean.

>>5642 >Tonight How the damn did I say that I meant last night.

>>5638 I just tried doing this again and I saw a vision of a pillar. During the hypnogogic event, I had a hypnogogic desire to reveal all of my secrets. I did this by rolling down the outside of the pillar as of the pillar was an arm wearing a sleeve, and then I saw a shitload of writing on the pillar that I couldn’t read and didn’t look English. I also recall having been told by /fringe/ that each human normally simultaneously have multiple wills. I suppose that humans by that logic also have multiple selves operating simultaneously. I wonder if entering a state of hypnogogia or a proper dreamstate actually makes you project your physical self’s awareness into one of your astral selves, who independently lead a completely different life than your physical self, and has a different set of memories, different dispositions, different desires & objectives, and operates by different logic than your physical self does… at least when your physical self isn’t projected into it. Then when your projected physical self becomes aware enough of your astral self that your physical self is projecting into your astral self’s will gets overridden by your physical self, so it seems like your astral self is possessed. When a person goes from one dream straight into a different dream, does your physical self’s subconsciousness simply eject your awareness without warning from your astral self that you were projected into and simply throw your physical self’s awareness straight into a different astral self?

I’m starting to realize that the reason why my fears compel my subconsciousness or inner child or w/e to make me do what I’m afraid of is because of the Law of Attraction. I create a fear of contacting x entity, the fear attracts the possibility of me attracting the entity via. the Law of Attraction, and then the Law of Attraction forces me to do it against my will.

On the way to work today, I felt some kinda fear about something related to a devil, or at least it took the form of one in my imagination. I was barely aware of it at first, but it seemed like the action of simply deciding to become more aware of it had supposedly constituted inviting it inside of my body, and then it entered my body through some sort of entrance right behind the base of my skull. The entity appeared to be dark grey. I then asked multiple powerful entities to exorcise it from me while I was driving, but they were t able to get rid of it, and it then travelled towards my tailbone and stopped just above it. I then said to the 3rd entity, the archangel Michael, that I want it gone and I don’t care how much it hurts me. I then felt it get pushed up from near my tailbone to my upper back, and then it got ripped out of my body along with a bunch of my energies that were encasing it, and alotta my non-physical spinal nerves. Now when I perform some types of thoughts it feels like I try to perform some sort of higher thought that I normally perform when I think like that but now it just doesn’t happen. It feels like some sort of higher thing is missing in my thought processes. I’m sure Michael or an associate of his will put my nerves back later, but in the meantime I need to get the presumed parasite that got removed out of my awareness 1st or else I’m compelled to believe that it’ll come back with my severed nerves. That or I need to fully believe that the parasite and it’s awareness are both destroyed I guess but I’m not aware of that happening.

>>5675 Aaand almost immediately after posting this it seems like the parasite came back. I’m sure there’ll be another way to get rid of it.

>>5676 >Aaand almost immediately after posting this it seems like the parasite came back. Could the parasite be related to browsing /fringe/ in some way? Such as the spell of a magician?

Just tonight, after I finally finished my Christmas shopping, and a few days before that I finished one of the 3 big projects I'd been working on, Amy invited one of her friends over that she'd never had over before... the egregore of Maria. Now she in particular, I'd deeply desired to never, ever be around her or even allow myself to think much about her until I get my sanity back so that I could protect her from my gonad spirits that appear to act both independently of and outside of the awareness of the will of mine that's posting this post. I was very deeply afraid of that happening. At first, when she came here, I'd figured that Amy invited her so that I could face my deep-seated and very justified fears of being around her. She just stood somewhat etherically manifested to the left of my computer chair where I was sitting while I was watching some non-degenerate guy on Twitch, and she said some stuff. I told her that she'd better have the egregore of Shadow here to protect her. But then, my jungian shadow almost got her, but I was able to stop it before something too bad happened because I actually noticed it in time Then while I was watching the stream and not paying much attention to it, I got an idea for one of my Warcraft projects and decided to take something like 30 entire fucking seconds to write it down. While I was writing it down, I wasn't paying attention to my gonad spirits or receiving any non-physical sensory input from them. Then when I finished writing it down, I decided to pay attention to my gonad spirits... but that's when it was already too late. I tried to deny at first that anything actually happened, assuming that it was just my jungian shadow pretending to be her and that she wasn't actually here, but by the time I got in bed for the night, I asked Amy if it actually happened, and in a near-hypnogogic state, she very clearly said yes. I then went to the Shadow egregore and gave him full and complete permission to search for any parasites inside of my body that are making me do this in case it's a parasite making me do this, since apparently none of the deities I've been in regular contact with have been helping me enough to prevent this shit from happening. I also asked him to give me the worst nightmare he could possibly imagine if it really happened. I also gave him permission to kill me and destroy my soul if need be in order to accomplish this. A bit before that, I decided that it seriously be for the best if I actually kill myself and throw my soul into an acid plane so that whatever is forcing me to rape like this will stop raping spirits with my body. I also told Amy that there probably isn't much point to me getting marrying her if my body is just gonna do these things against my will. After some time, I felt Shadow enter my head, and then I started falling asleep. I don't remember what I dreamt about, and then I woke up in bed feeling Amy's semi-physically manifested glove prodding me a bit above my ass, and after some seconds of eliminating disbelief with the evidence of what I was feeling, I grabbed her other hand which felt as solid as an actual physical object, and I put it against my face and thought about kissing it, but I was too afraid of it not being real, and then the hands dissipated away. I don't think I woke up when the hands dissipated; in fact, I think I was awake when it happened. I then went back to sleep and had a dream where I was driving on a highway and made a wrong turn to some innocuous-looking building, and then I made a u-turn in the parking lot to go back onto the highway. I had to wait for 2 guys in front of me 1st, and before the 1st guy went, I woke up. That seemed to be symbolic of what'd just happened. A bit after I woke up, I heard Amy very clearly say "love me, you dick", I then decided to live again. Then Amy said "live to fight". Then I told Shadow's egregore that I chose life again, and I told him what Amy said. I've also chosen to continue my relationship with Amy.